< euronium> i never understood the concept behind flavor colored condoms < Skarack_> do you suck dick?
<Mr_Nutty> once in a west texas town of el paso <Mr_Nutty> I fell in love with a mexican girl <Fina> It didn't stop her from charging you, though
<mindstorms> windows asked me to put in a new password, and i put in penis. <mindstorms> and it told me to come up with a new fucking joke.
<Koban> "Coke"®, "Coca-Cola"®, "The Real Thing"©, "Always"©, "It"©, "Christmas"©, "Summer"©, "The Olympics"© and most other words are owned by the Coca-Cola® Corporation.
<DoCa-Cola> ALL rap is bullshit <DoCa-Cola> all it is is "fuck that nigger, he fucked my woman, fuck that woman, she fucked my nigga"
<Andoryuu> I KICK YOU AND EAT YOUR BACON. <BuruusuEXE> I have no bacon. <Andoryuu> Well... <Andoryuu> I KICK YOU
Montehall: eh 9 inches less and I would have a scar TwitchOSX: lol TwitchOSX: uh huh HomeBrewR: 9" less and you'd have a 7" deep pussy
<syberghost> Ok, it's clear that I'm losing my mind; I had the TV muted so it wouldn't interrupt our conversation.
cwelks: I found out that if you are out of dishwashing detergent, that you shouldnt replace it in the dishwasher with Tide. cwelks: Bubbles all over the kitchen jmmoxey: HAHAHAHA cwelks: Not my brightest moment
<homenerd> How many surrealists does it take to change a lightbulb? <homenerd> Fish
expyro: I loved setting those things that came in the packages on fire. THey would ignite, then explode. Then on exploded in my hair. It wasnt funny anymore
<Thiefmaster> Fucking hell man <Pegster> what? <Thiefmaster> my brother just blew a mouse up in the microwave <Thiefmaster> he thought he could warm up his mouse for feeding the snake <Thiefmaster> iam glad stupidty passed to the youngest in the family <Thiefmaster> godamm the whole house smells like death mouse
<FeLisha`> Im not a barbie girl, and I dont listen to any of the music they do, but I still don't like being made fun of. <FeLisha`> They always put me down, I have like a negative amount of self esteem right now. <endoskelet0n> guess what <FeLisha`> What <endoskelet0n> fuck them. <FeLisha`> You dont think ive tried <endoskelet0n> lol <FeLisha`> wait <FeLisha`> ...that sounded bad
<kiwibonga> oh fuck <kiwibonga> it's 5:45AM <kiwibonga> you'd think I would have noticed since it's written next to every fucking line in this window
<[BAC]Draxon|TWL> "The animals will hear!" bellowed the ear licking penguin as the awesomely endowed midget sucked her oozing charlies and plugged his purple middle leg into her festering cunt. <[BAC]Draxon|TWL> oops <[BAC]Draxon|TWL> wrong window <d|syztem> what the FUCK
Alex: what do i click on 2 d/l it giorgio: didnt i just give you the direct link? Alex: yea u did but want part on it do i click to start the d/ l Alex: Download via CNet dBpowerAMP Music Converter Release 10.1? giorgio: Normally DOWNLOAD means it DOWNLOADS the fucking file Alex: i dont see anythign that says it Alex: the page is still kinda loading Alex: does it come up under the picture? giorgio: what... are you talking... about giorgio: click download and wait Alex: theres a little picture giorgio: what .. picture? giorgio: ok my friend told me what to do next giorgio: you right click on your C drive, or your local drive, and then click format Alex: right under the black heading dBpowerAMP Music Converter (dMC) giorgio: you shouldnt be on the computer giorgio: JUST CLICK THE FUCKING LINK Alex: dude Alex: i opened the link giorgio: and then!? Alex: i just dont know where to go next giorgio: are you at download.com now? Alex: i need directions Alex: im at the LINK! giorgio: RIGHT giorgio: and what do you see? Alex: that u sent me! giorgio: you're still at the one i sent!??D?Sgfoih3597gh3 Alex: i see a heading called dBpowerAMP Music Converter (dMC) Alex: theres alittle picture right under it giorgio: you told me yourself you saw the link "download blah blah" Alex: i said there somethign called Download via CNet dBpowerAMP Music Converter Release 10.1 Alex: is that what i click to d/l it? giorgio: are you kidding? giorgio: it SAYS "download" giorgio: what ELSE would you click!?GFryf93654j542 giorgio: u642u64 giorgio: 43houtwwytrw giorgio: hyteu3643 Alex: well there was so many options giorgio: but it was the only fucking "download" optioN!
<incoherent>:I AM not giving steam my fucking credit card. <Adopted>: can I have it? <incoherent> Yah sure, you seem more secure then STEAM.... <KellyX>: LOL ouch....
<Maddawy> see i always wonder when i'm lookin at pr0n and jerking off so to speak <Maddawy> and if my mom walks in.. would i hide my dick or the pr0n? <cerebrus> jerking off so to speak? wtf? jerking off is jerking off, you don't need to so to speak.. RETARD <Maddawy> whatever... <greeny> see this hypothetical scenario happened to me... <Maddawy> lol.. wat did u do? <greeny> as the matter of fact i did neither.. <greeny> see, it was after the point of no return.. so i just ejaculated, while quietly moaning and looking at my mom apologeticaly <Maddawy> LOL AHAHAHAHAHAHAH <greeny> yes.. it's one of the main reasons why i live on campus now...
<Zardoz> Damn those blow-up sheep. <Zardoz> I got fucking TWO of them for my 21st. <Zardoz> wtf. <Zardoz> from DIFFERENT PEOPLE !
<Brynneh|w3rk> im doing my girlfriend all weekend <Brynneh|w3rk> lol whoops <Penfold> doesnt stop <Brynneh|w3rk> *doing stuff <Brynneh|w3rk> *doing stuff with <Cavey> I shall mention that quote to her when I next se her <Brynneh|w3rk> that was the mother of all typos
--> Kelle has joined #vendetta <StarFreeze> What goes up must come down. You're gonna run out of Viagra soon enough. <Kelle> I came in here at the WRONG time..
CREdragon) it takes a man very comfortable in his heterosexuallity to have sex with another man CREdragon) ... wait that came out wrong ~SS) .. ~SS) You have been bashed.
<@FirebirdGM> What a gayass question. This is on my Chemistry Homework. <@FirebirdGM> 'If x = 4, What is x equal to?' <Trispectz> LOL <@FirebirdGM> How the hell does that relate to HydroCarbons. That isn't even a real question. <@FirebirdGM> Damn stoner teacher.
<InvisibleCaper> anyway, if youll excuse me, i have to kill myself <InvisibleCaper> i unintentionally gave myself the image of rosie odonnel frisking herself
* nekogirl knits * Ryft watches her knit <nekogirl> crap! <nekogirl> my yarn just ended! <Ryft> And you didn't see that coming? <nekogirl> no!
<Ryft> I made some brownies... want one? <bnyfoofoo> you baked? <Ryft> No, are you?
<FHCI_SS> I work as a tech support and someone called yesterday with the following conversation taking place <FHCI_SS> Customer: "Hi, I was wondering if you could fix my laptop. It's under warranty." <FHCI_SS> Me: "What seems to be the trouble with it?" <FHCI_SS> Customer: "My wife got mad and threw it in the pool."
<ecks> I'm so virgin, there isn't even a word to describe how much sex I have not had.
[suxbad] scott [suxbad] im coming to visit asheville soon [@teki] oh god [@teki] maybe we not get arrested this time
<narcotiKz> sent: could be his blinker pistons <narcotiKz> i heard the blinker master cylinder goes bad on those things <narcotiKz> i think factory did a recall <taig3R> where do blinker pistons go and how much they cost?
<Malevolyn> last night i was at chili's and i got a big sandwich that had a big knife. so i went to cut my sandwich and started chanting 'knife knife knife knife' <Malevolyn> and the waitress came by and took my knife...
[+Elkrider] Goat, my name's on the JW blacklist for well over 10 years now. [+Elkrider] Almost 15, I think. [+Elkrider] One day they rang at my door. Two women, one about 50 and ugly, the other one around 20 and very pleasant to look at. [+Elkrider] When they started to talk, I interrupted and said the following, immortal words.... [+Elkrider] "Hold a minute. Before we keep talking, the young one will come in and give me a blowjob. If it's good, we can talk. Agreed?" [+Elkrider] Perfect win-win situation. [+Elkrider] Either they piss off or I get a blowjob.
<pyro> I remember when I was younger this chick wanted me to give her a hickey but i didn't know how.. so i went on google
<surreal> i've often wanted to drown my troubles, but i can't get my girlfriend to go swimming
<Soulcleaver> Once me, my dad, and some of his employees were having a racist joke contest, but midway through we remembered we were still in Wendy's.
<+mOrphz> damn it :/ <@Lego> damn it :/ <+mOrphz> stop that <@Lego> stop that <+mOrphz> :D <@Lego> :D <+mOrphz> Lego smells <@Lego> Lego smells <+mOrphz> /quit quit: (Lego) (~leet@apex|Lego.user.gamesnet) (Quit)
<Schizo> I once knocked out a toddler with a door. Wasn't funny at the time, but it's hilarious now lol <sleepbu> i almost frostbitereered my nuts last night :p <sleepbu> since we're being honest <sleepbu> it was a hot night <sleepbu> bag was all hot and sweaty <sleepbu> thought i'd try out my can of duster <sleepbu> compressed gas :P <sleepbu> little did i know that shit comes out as liquid if it's upside down <sleepbu> drip drip *freeze* OMG WORLD OF PAIN WORLD OF PAIN WORLD OF PAIN
<Disciple> my bowels are at a state of civil unrest <Disciple> ugh... looks like the rebels are winning <Disciple> gotta go, bbiab
Eudox says: my god... Eudox says: I'm really not used to sending letters Eudox says: it just took my 10 minutes to work out I had to lick the thingy to make it stick :|
* Kurayamino chews on 3DSmax <Kurayamino> it knows i'm gonna replace it with version 6, i swear to my lack of fucking god. <Kurayamino> max5: "whats this cunt downloading? holy shit! max6!" max6: "muah hah hah, bow to me, for i am superior and you will be deleted" max5: "fuck this. lets CRASH TO DESKTOP at RANDOM INTERVALS for NO FUCKING APPARANT REASON!"
<paroneayea> Oh man! Oh man! Oh man! <paroneayea> I have to tell you people the funniest thing ever. <paroneayea> This friend of mine, a theater major, walks into my room. "Do you have a printer I can borrow?" she says. <paroneayea> "Yes," I say, "but it's an old LaserJet 4L. Is that alright?" <paroneayea> "Should be," she responds. <paroneayea> Then she hands me this paper. It's like normal paper, but thicker, and... not friendly. <paroneayea> I ask what it is and she says "cardstock." <paroneayea> I raise an eyebrow and say, "you do realize that there's no way in hell my printer is going to print on this paper." <paroneayea> "Oh." <paroneayea> "Well," she says, "could we print it on normal paper and somehow transfer it to the cardstock?" <paroneayea> "What, like print it out and literally cut it up and glue it on there?" <paroneayea> "No, like, if you printed it out and then stuck it in your scanner, maybe we could print it out again on the cardstock?" <althalus> wtf <paroneayea> She couldn't understand why I was laughing so hard <Wilf> lol <althalus> that needs to go up on bash. <paroneayea> agreed
<schmidt> i can kill a person with no hands <SirBlack> so can I, when they don't have hands it's hard for them to fight back :P
<Crazy^Donna> are we in english class!? <Kaowyn> no but i'm tired of hearing you fuck up every damn sentence
<rAJ> wooo, i had sex tonight :D * pikkle holds back another "my mom" joke <pikkle> argh. YOUR mom, not mine. :(