dee: mute do you ever talk mute: No, I never say a word. dee: why mute: I think you missed the joke there, dee. dee: what do you mean mute: ...nevermind.
<dDG> Wait... what the hell <dDG> There's this NASCAR all-star thing on <dDG> and there is rap for background music <dDG> NASCAR and rap music... <wc16> rofl <dDG> The terrorists have won
<Fandang0-> whats that band that the lead singer looks like Val Kilmer? <thaRuler> the doors?
<Trust> How fast is a 486? <Archon> dude, a 486 is 486mhz <Archon> thats why its called a 486 you dumb fucking newb
<Jessicaaa> :| well thats disserpointing <Jessicaaa> anyone do the iq test thing on bbc1? <Jessicaaa> i got dumb this year :'( <Neodymium> I knew that from the minute you typed 'disserpointing'
<xPinkyx> Nate, did you know my hand is part of an indian tribe called Slapaho?
<J-Mart> ok <J-Mart> this is the sickest thing ive ever heard <J-Mart> this girl that ive been friends with for a long time <J-Mart> she got plastered last night <J-Mart> so she starts laughin and told me that she did something really embarassing and she got grounded <J-Mart> so im all like "whats wrong babe" <J-Mart> and she hesitated <J-Mart> and what came next i would have never guessed <J-Mart> shes like "i took a poop in my closet" <wc16> ...rofl <J-Mart> and i didnt know what to say so i hung up <kirbster> wtf.... rofl <J-Mart> then she called back and said she was sorry and not to tell anybody <J-Mart> so i promised i wouldnt <J-Mart> then she was like "maybe the dog did it" <CJinx> rofl <J-Mart> SHE BLAMED IT ON THE DOG COME ON <[SG]> roflmao <J-Mart> and i stare at her ass all the time!
<@sxh> anyone got links to the nick berg vid? <@D1> nick berg is hilarious. <@D1> whats the video about? <@D1> oh wait, thats nick cannon
<Bopo> 10mbit <- <@swelt> thats nice for you, and we are all glad you brought it to our attention <@swelt> we admire your amazing connection, and assume that your penis is proportionally large too <@swelt> we can only hope to attain such large connections (and genetalia) ourselves
(Damage|rysny) whats the difference between michael jackson and acne? (tkd-cod|enm1ty) dunno, what? (Damage|rysny) acne waits till 13 to come on your face.
<jrk> who the fuck would pretend to be a lawyer? <jrk> i want to pretend to be a porn star. <Ipsa> hey a lawyer fucks more people than a pornstar ever will :) <Ipsa> I fuck people all day <jrk> true. but you're the ron jeremy of law. <jrk> not everyone has your prowess.
(%b0x) there used to be this song by Genesis that said "Jesus knows me, and he knows I'm right." (%b0x) apparently though, i used to go around singing "Jesus knows me, and he knows I'm white!" when I was 5 rofl
<T|gz> Ya know, it'd be kinda cool to taste with your hands like flies... <t-f-i> .... <T|gz> You can just stick your hand on someones food, and you can taste it. <t-f-i> Have fun, guess you'll have to give up masterbation. <T|gz> Oh fuck, nm.
-!- Chellez has joined #help <Chellez> where can i get programs? <ferret> Chellez: The internet. <Chellez> does this program have cervers? <ferret> Chellez: The internet has servers. <Chellez> how do i access them? <ferret> Chellez: By pointing a web or ftp browser at them, usually. -!- Chellez has left #help <ferret> Another user helped o/
Retrace: so what is she? Retrace: a .073 or a 10.0000000001 cryptic: shes like an 8 Retrace: whoa Retrace: wait....a internet 8 or a real world 8?
<Black> Half-Life II! * Black falls to his knees. * enderak unzips * Black worships <WizzoMaFizzo> :S
<passagero> i'm romanian man,i have 18yers old and try to found some one who want to have a relation sheep with me
<mehonae128> Was ist den der Fahrplan fur zwei? <mehonae128> what is the time table for 4? <mehonae128> 1,4,8,12,16,20 <mehonae128> or <mehonae128> eins,vier,acht,zwolf,sechzehn,zwanzig <Seppel> 1 is not on the time table for 4. <mehonae128> 4 time 1 is 1 <Seppel> You're an idiot. <mehonae128> anything times 1 oh wait
<Arctic_Wolf> My friends parents bought him the nice DDR pads so he could lose some weight. <Arctic_Wolf> He gets in trouble whenever they find out he's bought a non DDR PS2 game. <Arctic_Wolf> "HOW IS ARMORED CORE 2 SUPPOSED TO HELP YOU LOSE WEIGHT, WONG?"
<BabyBobDole> this bible thumper that used to work at domino's gave me shit about using slang all the time <BabyBobDole> he was like "you're so good with linguistics, why do you say stuff like that?" <BabyBobDole> i was like "it's called colloquialism, BITCH"
<Jaidev> If you want to know what I think about bottled water, what does 'Evian' spell backwards?
<E-Claire> We're doing a play in drama. <A-C> oh yeah? <E-Claire> Yeah. A play about soviet Russia <E-Claire> Only we're using household animals. We got the idea from Orwell's animal farm. <A-C> Will you have Gerbils? <E-Claire> Nah...he was nazi germany.
<Jericho24.> -=AFK=- I"m not here right now, if you"d like to reach me on my cell phone, buy me a cell phone.
<zzA> You know it's sad when the highlight if your day consists of calling this girl and checking the status of my quote on bash.org <neon_stocking> i bet its even sadder when both of them reject you <zzA> Not funny b/c it's true :(
xheliox: Did you see that NASCAR has started a literacy program? linenoyz: no xheliox: Isn't that like using the KKK to promote civil rights?
<lyfe> i just don't keep a fucking book with the names of all the girls who've had their dick in my mouth
<Alex> Mosser! <Alex> heh <Alex> I've been there <Alex> always the private bath though <MrSmartass> Sounds like the Hotel Edison in NYC. <grue> how did I read that as "pirate bath"? <Alex> is there a fetish you're trying to repress? <grue> Could be <grue> I think the mental idea of Keira Knightley in a bathtub is what did it <grue> "Avast, lass! Prepare to be boarded!"
* SamGamgee has joined #O-Gaming <RavenBUSY> mister gamgee! <SamGamgee> mister busy <RavenBUSY> SPEAK FRIEND AND ENTER <JDski> thats tattooed on my ex's ass
<phx> 230-Welcome to Leadtek Research Inc. <phx> 230-=^.^= <phx> 230 Anonymous user logged in. <phx> motherfucking anime smileys <phx> theyre everywhere <phx> i mean what is that? <phx> a dogs head with a iron rod shoved thru its head? <phx> i guess that explains it, its probably an asian delicacy
<NeoSmurf> So there I was waiting for my g/f, when I get a message from some chick wanting to cyber with me. <Merry> yeah... <NeoSmurf> I told her cybering is for losers and I didnt want to. <NeoSmurf> So she tells me to tell her what to do with her pussy. <NeoSmurf> I tell her to wash it, and she just quits talking. <Merry> LMFAO!
<rockpapertaxi> so this guy comes to the door <rockpapertaxi> a jehovah's witness <rockpapertaxi> and he's like "can i interest you in the word of christ" <rockpapertaxi> and adam's like "sorry i have to shut the door" <rockpapertaxi> and the guy goes why? <rockpapertaxi> and adam's like "our sacrificial goat will get out"
<mixedknut> drac killed the chats again <mixedknut> bastard <Dracon|s> bah <Dracon|s> I was the only person other than you chatting <Dracon|s> as if my terrible punning would drive people away <GOD|away> <---
<CaRlOs``>: who r u ? <sQuisha>: im squisha who r u <CaRlOs``>: i would b Carlos... <sQuisha>: k <sQuisha>: glad we cleared that up
ShortyMcStupid : Ever hear of Evel Knievel? ShortyMcStupid : Well I'm going to be a daredevil like him. ShortyMcStupid : Except I'm going to be Ku Klux Knievel. ShortyMcStupid : I'm going to try to jump 50 black guys with a steam roller.
<Lurker> one time my mom fell asleep on the couch, no joke, I switched it to a porn and started fwappin it. I later found out she wasn't asleep <Lurker> :( <Dan> your kidding right? <Lurker> no
<Kanush> it's funny, when I tell someone I'm an insomniac they almost always say "that's odd, I fall asleep as soon as my head hits the pillow" which is odd becuase I don't go around telling blind people "that's odd because I can see perfectly"
<Zephyr> Isn't American cheese appropriately named? It's fake and processed, just like America.
<Flamon> women are like hurricanes. When they come, they're wet and wild, but when they go, they take your house and car
<TornSoul> what's the difference between a jewish woman and an airplane? <TornSoul> airplane stops whining when it lands in miami beach
<Steve> Even "The Magic 8 Ball" is smart, and knows Microsoft Sucks. It says "Outlook Not Good."
<[X]> What the fuck? Gwyneth Paltrow named her daughter "Apple". What the fuck is it with celebrities naming their kids weird shit? <Alex> I'm gonna name my kid Strawberries <bobik-> Alex, you a dumbass <Schwert> the kid will kill you ,Alex <Alex> true :( <[X]> It could be worse... when I was two or so, and living on an Air Force Base in Utah there was a family living on base whose last name was Cane. Their daughters were Sugar, Candy, and Nova.
gnabtuls: Ok, so I take this gay Children's Theater class, right? ch405kn16h7: mhm gnabtuls: and we have this one Jewish girl in there. gnabtuls: So, one of the groups is doing "The Stinky Cheese Man" gnabtuls: and she's playing The Stinky Cheese Man gnabtuls: and the very first thing to happen in that play is they bake the stinky cheese man gnabtuls: ala the one jew in my class gets put in an oven and baked