<tic`zZz> I was lovin that pussy while she was lovin this dick, I was shovin it in her while she was yellin dont quit <MGS-_-> Then you realized you were dreamin that shit - in real life your a no-pussy gettin prick
< Stalin> You could put out ads in magazines and online and such, guaraunteed 25-30 lbs weight loss overnight or your money back < Stalin> and then send them instructions on how to amputate one of their legs
<N00b>Can someone explain cell division? <Nerd> o <Nerd> 0 <Nerd> 8 <Nerd> oo
SpicyLemon: Jesus died for my sins. I figure, it's best to not let him die in vain. I sin as much as possible.
<livin> your cousin is a titerope walker, rite? <luckyest> he committed suicide by jumping off during a performance two months ago. <livin> maybe he was a bit *imbalanced* <luckyest> you're a dick, you know that right?
< Rei> who lived in a pineapple under the sea, SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS < Rei> who died in an oil spill because of bp, SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS!
<@The_Happy_Chemical> Nigga I know you have, I could name some song that was created 10 minutes ago by a hobo bashing his face off a dumpster and you'd have heard it
<M3rlin-> what is the legal age to buy alcoholic in england ? <p5Ds13a06> you can't buy alcoholics <p5Ds13a06> but if you wink the right way, some of them will follow you home for free
<Ardennes[Q]> fat people lag. <guyman> lol <Deviant> so your mom must have dced when she gave birth to you <khagin> lmao
<Gper>Anyway, mates what's your New Year resolution? <PowerBuddy> Gotta learn harder >.< <RoznaM> Less porn, more chicks. <Gper> Hej, Z, what's yours? <Ziame> Thought about 1280x960
<windAd> haha, epic. <Choonsen> What is? <windAd> I set my password for my new keylogger program once it was up and running, got distracted by cooking ramen, came back and forgot the password <Choonsen> Shit dude... you're retarded <windAd> Noo, its all okay... I just went into the log files and found out what I typed while in the program. Two minutes later I now know that my password was 'ramenalmostdone'
<JPierre> Helping noobs on IRC who refuse to listen is an all-too-common waste of time. <biznatch> It's like you have this talking horse and the talking horse says "I'm thirsty" then you lead the horse to some water and it still won't drink. <PVicky> Simple solution: slaughter it for the meat.
<dux0r> giving head must be weird as fuck <moot> lol <dux0r> cause uve got like <dux0r> a pee utensil <dux0r> in ur mouth <dux0r> like a chunky hotdog <moot> xD <dux0r> what a weird thought <sudo> your penis is like a chunky hotdog?
<Party> asians are cool, it's the closest your ever gonna get to fucking an alien
< Nooblender> on an unrelated note i had to wake up early after staying up late to have breakfast with my hot nieces, so i went to sleep at 8 pm but woke up at midnight, wtf < that_guy> on a related note do you realize how creepy 'hot nieces' sounds?
<+fuji@2ch> Basically, he and his second wife, not my mother, got in a fight. He kicked her out and started drinking massively. <th0r> ah, fuck alcohol >.< one of the worst materials we ever created <+fuji@2ch> He spent awhile sitting alone in the house with no food and few hundred scotch bottles. <th0r> That's crazy... how's everything now? <+fuji@2ch> He basically fried out his brain,and went crazy and started building a fort in the middle of a busy street. <th0r> ... what? Seriously? <+fuji@2ch> yeah, no kidding. <th0r> That sounds more like something a paranoid schizophrenic would do... <+fuji@2ch> Yeah, well maybe there's some other issues going on.
<yajmele> Oh my god....I was fooling around with my boyfriend the other night.... <yajmele> Right when I grabbed his cock, we heard the "get item" sound from Legend of Zelda. <yajmele> It's apparently his e-mail alert on his phone. <yajmele> It took us 20 minutes to stop laughing. The timing on that was impeccable.
Draketh: I got a piercing last night Draketh: and I don't really regret it even though it was a decision made totally under the influence Finn: ... Draketh: so we're sitting around another fire blowing things up since it's the 4th and drinking, I walk over and sit down and the topic is piercings so we start talking, eventually it shifts to genital piercings Finn: ... Draketh: I mentioned always being interested in a prince albert, and this girl that was there that was like a friend of one of my cousins friends or some shit shes like "I work at a piercing parlor, I have all my shit in the car I can totally do that right now" Draketh: It was legit, like steralized tools in sealed packages and everything, bowl of alcohol to soak the tools in, she wore gloves. Draketh: It was like being at a piercing parlor Draketh: Except I was in a big ass comfy patio chair with a bottle of Makers Finn: I just.... I don't think I could ever let someone shove anything through my penis Draketh: actually I think it's gonna be hilarious Draketh: like I have no tattoo's, no other piercings and then like BAM "Suprise!" Draketh: it's like opening the plain brown wrapped gift on Christmas, and instead of a sweater it's a new laptop Draketh: see, the laptop is my dick Finn: .... just.... wow
<<UT> ho//\rzd> just an option: <<UT> ho//\rzd> you tell me where your sentence ends, that would help. ;D <F3AR | Bailey> i <F3AR | Bailey> broke <F3AR | Bailey> my <F3AR | Bailey> space <F3AR | Bailey> bar <F3AR | Bailey> lol
<TheM-netbook> yeah, "god" is a concept more than an actual thing or state of being <+chaosisorder> Like Duke Nukem Forever? <TheM-netbook> haha <TheM-netbook> god is vaporware
<kurogane> "Research suggests that women with larger breasts are more intelligent than their less well endowed counterparts, with the larger breasted women studied having an I.Q. some 10 points in excess of those with smaller breasts. <kurogane> "The Chicago researcher (who confessed to herself being an A-cup), conducted a sociological study in which she took a sample of 1,200 women, divided by breast size into five categories: extra-large, large, medium, small, and extra-small. <kurogane> who funds these 'studies' <CindiK> Juggs magazine <kurogane> is that a science journal?
< Andys> oh dear < Andys> in ruby, symbols are represented with a prepended colon < Andys> eg. :flag < Andys> so some guy tshirt that said ":sex" < Andys> which everyone at railscamp knew meant "Sex symbol" < Andys> he wore it until someone pointed out that to non-rubyists it said "Colon sex"
<Outpost> I love how everyone is blaming Obama for the oil spill.. <AnnoDomini> It's actually the British. <Outpost> yeah, you'd think British Petroleum would've made that known. <AnnoDomini> See, Americans dumped English tea into Boston Bay. <AnnoDomini> The British, after biding their time for 237 years, have struck back. <AnnoDomini> YOUR MOVE, AMERICA. <Outpost> ...I am so in love with you right now.
< gordonjcp> I'm trying to enjoy the vuvuzela concert and some prick keeps playing football
< k5egg> the fucking oil spill is several hundred times larger than AT&T's 3G coverage... < n1lqj> Unlike AT&T the oil spill is guaranteed to cover everyone
<thomas> you know why Santa's always jolly? <ani> no <thomas> He knows where all the bad girls live. <lonewolf> do they empty his sack for him? <lonewolf> I'd be grumpy if I only came once a year though <thomas> LOL
BLUMAN: how many stances are there for warrior?? sleepah903: 3 BLUMAN: rly?? sleepah903: battle, berserk, defense MING FAN: 4 theres battle, defensive, berserker and jew stance BLUMAN: hmm Sxechris: jew stance gets you cheaper reagents, repairs, and you can lower buyouts on auctions without the sellers consent BLUMAN: ...lawl Sxechris: you take more fire damage though
lemonlimeskull: So I'm sitting in Hardee's (Carl's JR for anyone here one the west coast) lemonlimeskull: This huge African American dude sits across from me at the booth. Plenty of tables around, of course, since this is Hardee's. lemonlimeskull: Since I don't usually have uninvited guests at fast food restaurants, I'm naturally a bit put off while simultaniously wondering what the deal is. lemonlimeskull: The guy goes "Hey, man what you do for a living?" lemonlimeskull: I must've looked really confused, but I manage to answer "Game designer... Why?" lemonlimeskull: The guy sits there for a good thirty seconds, looking out the window over my shoulder. lemonlimeskull: Then he finally looks me straight on and says "Good, lemme ask you a question..." lemonlimeskull: "Why don't Pacman wanna eat eyes?" lemonlimeskull: I just gave him this really quizzical look, then he gets up and leaves. lemonlimeskull: After a few seconds of wondering wtf that was all about, I look out the window over my shoulder and see about five police cars slowly driving off into the distance. lemonlimeskull: The worst part is...... WHY doesn't Pacman wanna eat eyes?!
<Flibberdy> thank fuck my wife's period's finally over. Stupid biological mechanisms required for reproduction. <fantasyprone> Flibberdy, try being the one bleeding from a very private crevice <fantasyprone> believe me it sucks at least as much for her as for you <Flibberdy> fantasyprone: Oh, she hates it too, don't get me wrong. Honestly I'm glad it's over for her sake not mine <Flibberdy> Left her bed bound quite a few days <fantasyprone> though it does entertain me to play war paint in the shower <fantasyprone> BLOOD EVERYWHERE WOO
<Thomas> if women think they arent meant to cook <Thomas> why do they have milk and eggs inside them?
<+DarthWario> I do believe I am fully justified when I say fuck my dad. <+DarthWario> He made me uninstall xchat. So it's back to mibbit. <+DarthWario> He installed iTunes on my laptop so my mum could register her iPhone (as my proper computers iTunes is fucked. By his own hand, no less.) and he saw the xchat and mIRC icons on my screen. He called them 'dirty' and made me uninstall them. <&Azathoth> he called them..dirty? <+TomBrend_> IRC is a dirty dirty place...wretched hive of scum and villany if I've ever seen one.
Milamber: hopefully that will get him outa trouble Mick: yeah because that was in the top 20 of worst wiring jobs Mick: nothign will beat number 1 Milamber: no. 1? Mick: ooh that was amazing Mick: it was a corolla Mick: painted blue and red with housepaint outside Mick: with green wheels Mick: inside was painted blue with rattlecans including the seats Mick: there was rubbish and rotten food on the ground as high as the bottom of the seat Mick: the radio was a tape player that he wanted replaced with a clarion cd tuner Mick: tape player was held in with winnie blue cig packets, some bandaids and chewing gum Mick: to get the old one out they had smashed the dash Mick: it was wired up with bits of house wire and extension cords Mick: they had hacked a hole in the firewall to run the power for the radio straight off the start motor Mick: which the wiries were sticky taped onto the starter motor Mick: the speakers in the back were sitting on the shelf being held in by just the force of their own magnets as it had no parcelshelf Milamber: woooooow did you just tell him where to stick it? Mick: I threw up from the smell in the car on the workshop floor Mick: gene had to help me up Mick: he called the customer who was told to go home and burn the car Milamber: ROFL
<+Merrick> Ugh <+Merrick> I gotta work tommorow... <+Merrick> I hate my fucking job <+Merrick> I HATE IT <+FDR> are you a priest? <+Merrick> No an altar boy
Phil: C++ is java's uncle that never comes to visit, and had half his face blown off when he stepped on a landmine, also he's a pedophile. Phil: But he's the industry standard. David: and runs much faster Phil: He has to be able to run fast, he's a pedophile.
<Aussie> I was listening to some girls talking in a video store. <Aussie> And one of them was saying that she had failed her learners permit because she had used both hands to change gears.
reconnection: that is because in canada you can leave your doors open and michael moore can burst in at any time reconnection: ... that was when they started locking doors
<Mike> So I have a Skype forwarding enabled for my cellphone, so any phone call made to me on Skype forwards to my cellphone. It's a couple bucks a month, so why not. <Mike> Anyways, I am studying with my friend beside me and I see Skype on my computer start ringing. I didn't want to answer with my computer so I picked up my cellphone and told my friend "One second, taking a phone call" without thinking about it. <Mike> My phone rings 1 second later, I answer it, walk out of the room. <Mike> Didn't realize how much of a psychic hero I looked like to my friend until I left the room. Looked at my friend through the window who is sitting like O_O
<@tdfischer> friggin landlord finally cached my check <+ajanata> tdfischer: I would think the proper analogy is they finally flushed the buffer the check was in :p <+ajanata> caching the check would make things worse <@tdfischer> 'doh <@tdfischer> thats a pretty awesome typo
bp: how did my collar get popped bp: srsly my neck felt weird so i felt it and my collar was popped without any physical intervention from me esch: you have a douchebag poltergeist
thefinalcutter83: According to CNN.com: "Iranian missile may be able to hit U.S. by 2015." SpaceInvader455: That's one slow fuckin missile.
<sho3boy_kixx> What's the difference between jam and jelly? <kwistlebear> wht? <sho3boy_kixx> I can't jelly my cock down your throat
<Bubbles>What are you, fucking 15 years old? <Spoons>no, im fucking 15 year olds ;]
<jaffa> think of the children! <bobf> oh gimme a break, I've spent *hours* today thinking of the children, my wrist is too sore to do it any longer
lemonlimeskull: One guy keeps following me from chat room to chat room begging to blow me because he found out I live about a half hour away. lemonlimeskull: Other guy wants to fight me IRL because I posted on a forum that his local band sucks ass. lemonlimeskull: I'm going to agree to meet the two of them - same location at the same time. lemonlimeskull: I won't show up, of course - tomorrow one guy will be in the hospital or the other one will be a lot more mellow. lemonlimeskull: Will keep you posted.
<IDTL> but dude there were babessss <genida> IDTL, that's very often a warning sign. <genida> "Girls will be there." = "Girls will be laughing in your face..." <Malikat> when girls laugh <Malikat> their breasts jiggle. <Malikat> everyone wins. <IDTL> oh man I never thought of that <IDTL> What if they are flatchested? <Malikat> then they shouldn't be happy <Malikat> they probably won't be happy <Malikat> in fact, flat chested women never laugh at a party <Malikat> because they know no man will ever love them.
<&||bass> GODDAMNIT <&||bass> i'm searching for how to do something in java <&||bass> i just checked in google <&||bass> you know what the results are? <&||bass> me posting in various forms asking how to fucking do it
<commerceheights> wow, I managed to get a syntax error on line 23 of a twenty-line file
<Flimsy> lert's join the BNP <Obliriovrons> BMP <Flimsy> if image formats were political parties, which one would you vote for <Obliriovrons> Listen, starting a conversation like this is just going to lead to an argument <Obliriovrons> And I'd hate to get in a tiff over image formats