<Zoli> I wrote some norse death metal rap earlier today <Zoli> of course I'd recite it for you! <Zoli> YO I'M A BLONDE MOTHERFUCKER AND I WORSHIP THOR <Zoli> I'M GUNNA USE MY AXE BUST DOWN YOUR DOOR <Zoli> SCREAMING VALHALLA AT THE TOP OF MY LUNGS <Zoli> I GOT PHAT RHYMES AND I SPEAK IN TONGUES <Zoli> RAGNAROK THE PARTY LIKE A VALHALLA PARTY <Zoli> RAGNAROK THE PARTY LIKE A VALHALLA PARTY <Zoli> NORSE. (crazy motherfucker with a longship baby) <Zoli> NORSE (gunna kick your ass and I don't mean maybe) <Zoli> NORSE. (crazy motherfucker with a longship baby) <Zoli> NORSE (LONG BLONDE HAIR THAT IS SOFT AND WAVY) <Zoli> fin.
Gear Grinder X: once, we had these total freak seventh day advenist (or whatever) freak ass neighbors Gear Grinder X: and this girl Lanna was a little younger than me Gear Grinder X: she was a bitch, and they were all totally religious Gear Grinder X: she threw rocks at me once on my bike, and so I turned around, and went to run over here Gear Grinder X: I was hauling ASS, and you know what she did? Gear Grinder X: put her hands on her hips, and stood there and said "The lord will protect me" Gear Grinder X: well.... he didn't
<h0ward> it began with the forging of the great servers <h0ward> three were given to the geeks, immortal, wisest, and fairest of all beings <h0ward> seven to teh jock-lords, great football players and craftsmen of the locker halls <h0ward> and nine, nine servers were given to the race of men whom above all else desired PRON <h0ward> within the servers was a power that could govern each class <h0ward> but they were all of them deceived <h0ward> for another server was made <h0ward> stile, the deceiver, forged in secret a master server to control all others <h0ward> one server to rule them all <h0ward> one by one the people of the servers fell to the great power of the master server <h0ward> but there were some <h0ward> who resisted <h0ward> a great alliance of geeks and jocks marched against the fanboys of stile <h0ward> and on the slopes of blogwars <h0ward> they fought for the freedom of good, and only good pron <h0ward> AAAHHH <h0ward> FAPFAPFAPFAPFAPFAPFAP <h0ward> victory was near <h0ward> but the master server could not be stopped <h0ward> the dark lord stile killed brunot son of brunob <h0ward> and as luck should so have it <h0ward> brunob cut the wiring of the master server <h0ward> stile the enemy of good, decent pron of the earth <h0ward> was wanked out of existence
<Lunchbox> The day Microsoft makes a product that doesn't suck is the day they make a vacuum cleaner.
<zamros> haha yeah being a plumber would be fucking awesome actually <zamros> like if i had my own fuckin' company <zamros> with a van and shit <zamros> like i'd go in to a plumbing business with a friend <zamros> cuz like when you got two motherfuckers putting the time and money in <zamros> you can buy a van <zamros> you can buy fuckin tools <zamros> you can buy advertising and shit <zamros> haha i'd have the funniest fucking public access commercials for my plumbing business <zamros> like some dude would be taking a shit <zamros> and he'd jiggle the handle <zamros> and he'd be like ".....FUCK!" <zamros> then he falls over on the toilet and grabs the phone <zamros> and calls me <zamros> and he's like "HELLPP!!!" <zamros> then i bust through the fucking wall <zamros> and fucking beat the shit out of a big monster in the toilet1 <zamros> with a plunger <zamros> and the dude is laying in his own shit on the floor <zamros> with the phone in his hand <zamros> and after i won the fight he'd be like "THANK YOU ZAMROS INC" <zamros> and he'd hug me and i'd get shit all over me <zamros> and i'd be like "ALL IN A DAY'S WORK" <zamros> and then bust through the other wall
<simon-say> asking for relationship advice on irc is like asking for computer help at mcdonalds
(Angelus): If you're in a war, instead of throwing a hand grenade at the enemy, throw one of those small pumpkins. Maybe it'll make everyone think how stupid war is, and while they are thinking, you can throw a real grenade at them.
<@shiwan> Hmm. I need to find a "Windows NT Server 4.0 System Administrator" t-shirt to wear around to BDSM clubs. <@shiwan> "So, what are you into?" "I admin a 3-tiered, 12-node NT4 cluster." < XyZzY> shiwan: "oh youre in the 'sick fuck' territory"
<princessangelic> how do you turn on a guy? <+monty> dicksuck <princessangelic> um before that <+monty> get naked <princessangelic> then? <+monty> dicksuck <princessangelic> hmmm I must have missed a memo somewhere <jomomma> hahahahaha
<Zee-sleep> i got full marks for answering "what would encryption be used for?" with "KFC's 11 secret herbs and spices"
<+Disasterologist> wtf why does nobody ever convert to judaism on their death beds? <@Locke> they cant make money as they're dying
<NobleArc> There's always google, WhiteBicycle. <NobleArc> Google is like.. The Oracle from The Matrix. O_o <NobleArc> it knows EVERYTHING. <WhiteBicycle> good call noble <NobleArc> Yet at times can be unimaginably useless.
<Node> i think the person who came up with the a b c d f grading scale failed english
<Hylke> hmm, the movie Titanic isn't really realistic <Palantyre> No shit? <Hylke> they walk through cold water all the time, and the girl gets no stiff nipples
<BOYD1981> you know, i hate it when a channel suddenly goes quiet after a debate <BOYD1981> it's like masturbating, and when you're finally about to ejaculate you hear somebody entering the house <BOYD1981> or walking up the stairs <BOYD1981> so you have to put it away until later <BOYD1981> another reason i hate it is because you never know if it's because nobody has anything to say, or somebody took what was said a little too seriously and is sitting there a bit pissed off <BOYD1981> show me an argument/debate/disagreement i haven't seen before and maybe, just maybe i might get a little pissed off <BOYD1981> i'm more likely to get pissed off by something pissing me off <BOYD1981> like developer and publisher and hellotomyfriendsandfamilyer logo animations before a game loads <BOYD1981> and it even gets on my nerves before a movie <BOYD1981> especially if it's on a dvd that won't let you skip it or go straight to the menu <BOYD1981> to me that's propaganda, it's forcing you do watch something you don't want to <BOYD1981> ofcourse you can't put your hands over your ears and close your eyes, because then you might miss the start of the movie, accidentally hit the skip back button instead of rewind and force yourself into being forced to watch the logos again <BOYD1981> or you could watch the movie once, time how long it takes for the menu to appear or the movie to start, then turn around and face a clock, put your hands over your ears and count the seconds <BOYD1981> but then if somebody walks in on you they'll wonder why you're ignoring what the clock is trying to tell you that's preventing you from watching the movie <BOYD1981> so it's either watching something you're against, or having people think you talk to clocks <BOYD1981> ofcourse you could do the same counting method, but turn the tv on to a different channel for a certain amount of time <BOYD1981> but then somebody might walk in just as soon as you change the channel and think you were watching porn or the mobo awards or something like that <BOYD1981> or, you could do the same but with the tv off <BOYD1981> but then if somebody walks in and sees you sitting there with the dvd player running, the tv off and you with the remote in your hand that you've forgotten which button turns the tv on
<Ale> they are closing down both streets that access my house (I live on a city street conrer) <Apaul> You live on a street corner? <Apaul> Work there too? :) <Ale> Yes, I do <Ale> shit
<Dharkbayne> Reverse Jesus is created when you masturbate in the bath and your sister falls pregnant by then bathing in the same water. <Dharkbayne> Reverse Jesus would blind and cripple random people. And give them leprosy. <Dharkbayne> Reverse Jesus crucified the entire Roman Empire. <Dharkbayne> Reverse Jesus makes you die for his sins. <Dharkbayne> Reverse Jesus can sink in water. <Dharkbayne> Reverse Jesus can turn wine into water. <Dharkbayne> Reverse Jesus dares you to stone whores if you're sinner. <Dharkbayne> He was born in a cave on Easter and was killed in a shootout on Christmas eve when three kings finally tracked him down for outstanding debts of gold and spices.
KabeDerlin05: Bring it on. I have a level 19 Weapon Master that can kick your ass KradenTalcaria: ... KradenTalcaria: brb KabeDerlin05: Yeah that's right! Run Away! Just like your mother did when she saw my huge dick! Auto response from KradenTalcaria: Mom's using the computer. Be back in a few.
<Baybee_Gurl> that wuz so awesome last night <Baybee_Gurl> i had a great time <SiCkNeSsS> says: yea... me too <Baybee_Gurl> if you're interested i'm willing to do it again ;) <SiCkNeSsS> mm hmm <Baybee_Gurl> yea <Baybee_Gurl> ... <Baybee_Gurl> is something bothering you? <Baybee_Gurl> because your acting weird <SiCkNeSsS> it's nothing <Baybee_Gurl> tell me <SiCkNeSsS> dont worry 'bout it <Baybee_Gurl> tell me plz <Baybee_Gurl> plzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz <Baybee_Gurl> ......... <Baybee_Gurl> come on just tell me <Baybee_Gurl> i wont care <SiCkNeSsS> fine if you put it that way <Baybee_Gurl> okay so tell me!! <SiCkNeSsS> if you fucking get pregnant i am so dumping your ass <Baybee_Gurl> .....
<Davus> Earth - The only place people that don't use condoms use computer anti-virus software. <Davus> Ah, the priorities.
[Lex_Talion] if the english language was good enough for our lord jesus christ, then it should be good enough for everybody else!
Safia: your just sittin there watching me? Sean: No I have creepy music playing too
[Filefront|Juice] the french version of halo 2's campaign mode is only 1 minute long. Master chief lands on the earth and the covenent surrender
Arteryman92089: does Wyoming have a baseball team? MoocluckRULES: wait, people live in wyoming? Arteryman92089: thats the thing. im not sure
(*)Embers(*): should i ask jonny this--- (*)Embers(*): ok so i know we haven't known each other for long and I really shouldn't be asking you for this..... but I want it so bad don't get me wrong it's just that I haven't had it for a long time I could already feel it going in so hard and coming out so soft and wet. No one has to know about this, I'm desperate, but your help can be very grateful!!! (*)Embers(*): you must think I have a lot of nerve asking you for this but I can feel my tongue around it sucking all the juice out until there no more left, this has been on my mind all day long and I hope I'm not being forward but.... can I have a piece of gum? Sarah: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
<Rostam> 1 in 4 girls has problems with incest at home <Rostam> that sickened me <Shrap|Wal> the others 3 are fine with it ?
<eviltown103> one time my friend was having ass sex wiht his gf in the living room <eviltown103> and when they were done....she dropped one on the carpet <eviltown103> then his parents came home <eviltown103> it ant biog <eviltown103> just a little thing <eviltown103> but <eviltown103> they ran out leaving it there <eviltown103> when the parents c it <eviltown103> they take the dog to the vet and put it to sleep <STLFX0> LMFAOROFL
<WDeranged> i just had a chickhan dinnhar and 4 hours of entertainment brought to me <WDeranged> sometimes life is nice <patrick``> macdonalds happy meal with a free toy?
<peer> Bad timing is when you are running late and you get all the red lights <+FyreDaug> Nah, bad timing is what happened yesterday <+FyreDaug> One of my girl friends was over and she asked me to do something and I was doing something on my computer already so I said "just gimmie another sec" <+FyreDaug> and shes like "aw cmon I've given you lots of secs already!" <+FyreDaug> as my mom was walking upstairs where the computer room is. She just looked at me funny and walked away
<M[at]> know what I hate? <M[at]> when you download shrek 2, and find its in german <M[at]> then download it again and get it in french <M[at]> then download it again and finding its a different film <M[at]> then do you know whats worse? <M[at]> when you download debbie does dallas <M[at]> and get the english version of shrek 2 :(
<Dubious|Laptop> gotta go give a training session on Cisco.
lates.
<{pdX}aldawg> isn't cisco a form of oil they sell at
supermarkets
<Dubious|Laptop> thats Crisco. Its not often that you find
someone who is both technology and culinary-impaired, but you
have shattered that paradigm.
* {pdX}aldawg has quit IRC (Quit: )
[ Parroflex ] I have a badass hangover. [ @Ashley ] Don't drink so much next time. [ Parroflex ] Thank you for that, Ashley. [ Parroflex ] Ow. [ @Ashley ] You're very much welcomed. [ @David ] Have a few shots to numb the pain [ Parroflex ] Thank you for that entirely unhelpful advice, David. [ @David ] You won't feel any pain with no head. [ Parroflex ] Owowow. There is a medieval re-enactment going on inside my head. [ Parroflex ] Fat geeks with cardboard armour are arguing about what type of swords they'd have had back then.
<MO-Pantsu> dentist gave me a temp crown and a HUGE lump of filling to hold it on. now I can feel the pain starting as the painkiller wears off and my jaw don't sit straight. In fact the temp crown is like sharp and shitty and I could bite my tongue off with it. <karaipantsu> Why? Linkin Park's music is awesome. Their Lyrics leave a lot to be desired, but I don't put much stock in lyrics <Cidsa> yeah <Cidsa> i like the music a lot <Cidsa> the guitar <karaipantsu> I like their reliance on more non-rock related instruments. <karaipantsu> Like Pro audio and piano <Cidsa> yea <Chimerasame> i just got my conversations crossed <Chimerasame> i'm like "what the how does dentistry involve Pro audio" <Chimerasame> i guess they can blast your plaque off with sound <Cidsa> yeah <Cidsa> they use a air blaster thing too * MO-Pantsu whimpers <Chimerasame> <dentist> "CRAAAAAAAAAWLING IN MY SKIIIIIIIIIIN" <tartar> well fuck this, i'm leaving
({emily}): ACK! Amazon.com's gold box offer today contains CSE
Natural Menopause Relief
({emily}): wtf?!
(Gwydion-): O.o
({emily}): then deodorant
({emily}): so I'm smelly and old. lovely.
({emily}): and oooh, a yoga mat.
({emily}): smelly, old, and out-of-shape
({emily}): where do I put in my credit card number?
<@Terror> "It's easy to forget what a sin is in the middle of a battlefield." <@cky> opposite over hypotenuse <@cky> dipshit
<@Weirdbot> Question 11 of 12: Where is it illegal for chickens to cross the street? <+Evil_Chipmunk> crawford, texas <+Evil_Chipmunk> ... <+Evil_Chipmunk> aw, why not... everything else that's come out of there has been retarded.
<Booster> whyd you get a mac? <Nick> I have conqured the PC <Nick> just wanted to try it out <Booster> you got it cause you were bored? <Booster> thats like saying "ive mastered walking with 2 legs" so you cut one off
<@[S]W|Supey|Around> what the fcuk? a DVD enlargement system? did my two spam senders mix their titles?
<green> We vegetarians love the environment. carnivores are sick freaks. <Frank> How can vegetarians possibly love the environment.. you keep eating all the fucking plants
<Crac|ked> So anyway my griendfriend came over last night and like i was playing CS and not paying her any attention, <Crac|ked> so like she silently slid under my desk and undid my pants and gave me oral - <Crac|ked> to cut a long story short after i was done, she looked up at me and said: <Crac|ked> "You do realise i just gave you a geeks fanatasy - CS and a blow-job!" <RoCkYTrAiL> lol. <JimmyBoy> I don't think that's a good fantasy... <JiveHut> FAG!!! <RoCkYTrAiL> fag! <Treader> homo <JimmyBoy> :(
<Innkeeper> ===== Question 15588/19999 ===== <Innkeeper> What is the first book of the Bible <Innkeeper> Hint: @@@@@@@ <looloo> genocide
Be1ial: remember the old arcade games that had a message from the president about saying no to drugs? Krizkor: haha yeah. Krizkor: because of that blue screen before mortal kombat, i stayed off drugs. Krizkor: but unfortunately, i began pulling people's spines out.
<Rachel> 15. Mycophobia is the fear of? <Vaen> MY COCK <Skylar> small things <Vaen> fuck you
<_chaos> The world will be perfect when you can log conversations from real life. <_chaos> For example if a man denies sleeping with another woman his wife can just check the logs. <_chaos> And the only way to cheat is if you had admin powers to edit the logs... like me. heh :) <CCDude> or i could kick your nerdy ass and make you do it for me <_chaos> Then you would be arrested after they checked the logs! <CCDude> shit <CCDude> your still a fucking nerd <_chaos> And your still an idiot. :D
<Dogan> Just try and imagine michael jackson as a football player <Samurai> .... <Samurai> All that i'm going to say to that is: <Samurai> the touchdown dances would be insane