<sthmnstr> So I was in this restauraunt with my gf the other day and she wanted to emberas me. <sthmnstr> I had eaten too much and was holding my stomach moaning and then she's all like 'aww, is the baby kicking?' and i said 'Yup. Thats the last time I eat one of those whole...'
<GreyMantledWolf> the internet guy is out side trying to shut off the internet to my neighbor's apt <GreyMantledWolf> and they'res a hornets nest in the box <GreyMantledWolf> they're stinging him like mad <GreyMantledWolf> i should stop putting flowers and nectar in that box
<KoRnkid88> omg man <KoRnkid88> weirdest bus stop moment ever <Owned34> >.> <KoRnkid88> last night it was snowing like crazy right <Owned34> yeh get hit by it? XP <KoRnkid88> and my neighbor lady calls and asks me to do her driveway <KoRnkid88> so i go over and shovel it off <Owned34> =o <KoRnkid88> next day im standing at my buss stop talking to all my friends and my neighbors house is at the corner where the bus stop is <KoRnkid88> and im talking with my friends and she walks up and hands me a 20$ <KoRnkid88> and says thanks for last night <Owned34> lol omg <KoRnkid88> i was like WTF <KoRnkid88> my friends and all the people at the buss stop were just staring at me...... <Owned34> how old is this lady <KoRnkid88> my sister gave me the weirdest look in the world <KoRnkid88> like 70 <Owned34> Bust a cap <KoRnkid88> once we got on the bus the girl behind me was like "u got a 20 for one night?" <Owned34> XD <KoRnkid88> i was about to turn around and slap her <Owned34> =o <KoRnkid88> it was THE weirdest bus ride ever
<+Hellion_Prime|Work> heat output is considerably less, however, which is also something to consider. <+iceheart> I like heat output <+iceheart> it's fucking cold here <+iceheart> I can go from 16c to 24c in 15 minutes by turning on all screens and the tv <+iceheart> then I open a vent to compensate <+iceheart> maybe I am not energy star compatible
britt: And that the only reason we PMS is because our uterus is screaming at our brain to go out, get fucked, and have a baby. britt: and it makes us angry.
AgentScrewball: i know a guy who had a plastic tube implanted in one of his balls b/c of surgery. we called him mr. plesticle
Pramma: like, this one time at a texas hold'em table, and i was like "man, lady luck is really smiling on me today...she's cute too, i'd tap that in a second" Pramma: and then people started looking at me
<NonHomogenized> ...I was young. I needed the money! <Stopper> ew... * Stopper hides Non from Michael Jackson <NonHomogenized> not that young
<drealoth> one of the differences between a geek and a normal person is that, when a warrenty ends, a normal person is worried that it might break <drealoth> the geek, on the other hand, is like 'hey, I can take it apart now.'
* lios has two tests he is totaly unprepared for.. <Placid-Nightmares> pregnancy and urine <Placid-Nightmares> :/
[The KaptKneeemo] I went to the recruters office stoned as fuck [The KaptKneeemo] he asked me how many times I had smoked weed [The KaptKneeemo] and I was like "TODAY??"
me:what color bulbs should i get for my new headlights? brother:get one red and one blue so everything is in 3D
<A_Analog> like alot of atheists I figured my life has absolutely no meaning even though I persue goals and have a job, school etc. <lobyaway> A_Analog: the pain of existence <A_Analog> yeah mate <psykoz> well we're all just holograms anyway :).. vibrations in space time moving along the string of our universe, an instrument far beyond our comprehention <A_Analog> amen <lobyaway> pass the bong
<scrapFx> I want to live in 3000 where I'm fed through tubes and never have to take a dump again <scrapFx> make that 2999 so I could throw a mad partai
[KillerGeek] Everyone thinks I can pull computer equipment out of my ass on demand. [KillerGeek] Ah well. [KillerGeek] If I could shit new P4 systems, I wouldn't be here. [KillerGeek] Fucking sell the GoatsePC.
<Archie> as long as their nail polish is drying, women are practically defenseless.
zero:dude that computer you nicked from school, ive just had the police round being questioned about it, they will probably be at yours soon. Anony-X: WTF SHIT!!!!!what do i do? my parents are gunna fucking kill me and im gunna get fucking expelled Anony-X: Man, im running away from home, it sucks anyway theres never a sprite in the fridge when you need it,take care. *** Anony-X has left #bnbn zero:HA APRIL FOOL! zero:danny? zero:oooh shit...
<Zeta7> man <Zeta7> dont give me that guns are bad shit <Zeta7> I have numerous guns and I dont remember the last time a life was taken with any of them <[sq]> guns <[sq]> hehe <[sq]> you know i have blackouts like that too
<tag0y> A UNIX saleslady, Lenore, <tag0y> Enjoys work, but she likes the beach more. <tag0y> She found a good way <tag0y> To combine work and play: <tag0y> She sells C shells by the seashore.
<{Stone}> Television is called a medium since is it so seldom
rare or well done.
<ajh_home> I'm not sure I can convey how uncomfortable it makes me when people just randomly come up to me. <kyle> the funny thing is, if you killed them, it would be / you/ who gets arrested. <kyle> what a backwards society.
<beno> i love you mannnnnnnn!!!!11111111111 <rock> i love you to, in a fuck off and dont come near me kind of way.
SuperCoW : i once questioned a turtle about advanced trigonometry SuperCoW : but after a while i found out it was only a rock eightyapes : idiot SuperCoW : fuck u... it was all mossy n stuff so it looked like a turtle eightyapes : i dont think u get my point
<ProfBahddins> ... . ... . ....... . . ... .. ......... ..... .. ...... .. . <ProfBahddins> ... . ........ . .... ....... . ... .. ...... <eruhu> ? <ProfBahddins> i'm talking to my blind friend.
abmac: you should listen to more phish abmac: and smoke more weed speedo: you should smoke less weed abmac: psh abmac: hey! abmac: if you put an "i" in psh abmac: it's phish abmac: mind-blowing.... speedo: no it's not, idiot speedo: it's pish abmac: psh abmac: maybe i should smoke less weed
<FarkinWorkin> my dog used to freak out whenever I brought home a fresh jar of peanut butter <pakman> is that because you let him lick it off your penis FarkinWorkin? <FarkinWorkin> it was a "she" pakman...I'm no fag....
<Moonpie> one time, in middle school, some people let some pigs onto the campus. They painted on the pigs "1", "2", and "4". The faculty spent weeks looking for the third one.
sigmaflare: So there's this app for my phone called 'torch' sigmaflare: It just makes the screen white so you can use it as a flashlight. sigmaflare: And that got me thinking... I wonder why nobody has made an app that just makes the phone constantly vibrate.
<eGagz-Trevor`> i spilt weiner juice in my lap <blue[2q]> WHAT?! <eGagz-Trevor`> the stuff that comes out of those cans with those vienna weiners
<Nirvana000> So I went to Wal-Mart today to try and buy a copy of San Andreas. <Nirvana000> I couldn't see any copies on the shelves so I went to the counter to ask. The girl didn't speak a word of English. I tried asking her "Do you have San Andreas for sale? " in a REALLY slow and clear tone, but she just shrugged her shoulders. Then she said something in Spanish over the speakers. <Nirvana000> I was REALLY getting pissed at this point. <Nirvana000> She must have called the manager, cos he came up to the counter and started asking me in poor English what I wanted. <Nirvana000> Me: "Do you have San Andreas? SAN ANDREAS!" <Nirvana000> Him: "SAN FERNANDO!?!?!" <Nirvana000> Me: "WTF? SAN ANDREAS!" <Nirvana000> Him: "AAH, SAN FERNANDO!" <Nirvana000> He went into the back muttering something about San Fernando. WTF? <Nirvana000> Couple minutes later he came out with a copy of Madden NFL 2004. He was waving it around, and he wouldn't stop saying "SAN FERNANDO! SAN FERNANDO!" <Nirvana000> And then I just left.
<*> Narutard is distracted by pron <[AN]Kaji> ya.. that'll work every time.. <Narutard> and it's cheaper than taking your GF out <[AN]Kaji> and less time consuming.. <Narutard> porn doesn't nag at you <[AN]Kaji> and when you get bored you can just turn it off.. :P <Narutard> hehe <Narutard> Porn won't complain if you don't quite finish <[AN]Kaji> porn doesnt mind you shgaring it with your friends <Narutard> porn doesn't blame it on you if you don't make it orgasm. <[AN]Kaji> porn wont complain when you bring home the newest version.. <Narutard> porn doesn't mind if you stay out late with the boys <[AN]Kaji> porn is always in the mood.. :P <Narutard> porn is ok with you pulling late hours at the office <Narutard> and it will never say, "My needs aren't being met."
DragonAtma: malware = spyware that hurt your computer yayz muffin: ah DragonAtma: so if you open ie and the homepage was changed to goatse.cx, the file that did it is probably malware yayz muffin: probably was crashing my browser too yayz muffin: >_< DragonAtma: same think if you realize there are bookmarks to pages like "gay anal fisting", "horse rape", and "republican national convention" ;)
<Coyote> ok I'm bored <Coyote> noir, can I telnet you? <Noir> why not <Coyote> Can i get you rroot and play in your filesystem? <Noir> why not <Coyote> wewt <Noir> just dont break anything <Coyote> oh don't worry <Coyote> I'll be gentle <Noir> k <Coyote> I'll slowly input keystrokes to your cli until you come to emacs
lonemalika: The story of how my kitty got her name is funyn lonemalika: funny* lonemalika: Back when I lived in Georgia, I was on AOL in a chatroom(yeah, LONG time ago xd) lonemalika: me and my chatter friends were going spastic over stuff lonemalika: then my sister goes outside, comes back with a paper lunch bag with two little kittens in it. lonemalika: Not even 2 weeks old Trevor: You stole someone's lunch? Trevor: That's mean.
<Sefy> I found 1 error in windows XP <Dested> Oh i guess thats not that bad <Sefy> Shit brb, my zero key isnt working
<plexiglass> what do u mean? I wasnt even here when they tried to takeover the chan <haplo> Why can't you just admit that you asked them to take it over!? <plexiglass> Sheez.. didnt expect the spanish inquisition.. * SpanInqui (spanish@34-ZARA-Y343.libre.retevision.es) has joined #commonsense <SpanInqui> NOBODY EXPECTS THE SPANISH INQUISITION!!!!
<savage> Comic convention all day tomorrow, then off to a role playing (paper & pencil) convention for the remainder of the weekend :-) <marv> role-playing a pencil sounds like it could get boring after a few days
<olik> Jesus was the best pirate of them all. <olik> He walked the seven seas! <deathfish> and got nailed to the plank instead of walking it
<&Shauna> ~dare <%ChocoCat> Shauna Has Chosen Dare. Dare: Your dare is to describe in detail the last time you masterbated. * +Asu unzips pants and watches chat attentively <+vegeta76> answer shauna! <+[indy]Muaddib> answer <+[indy]Muaddib> in detail <+bahn> She's working on it... :P <&Shauna> bahn is taking notes <+[indy]Muaddib> hes got his pencil out but hes not taking notes
Lindsay: I have a gaydar, and your sending off a strong signal... Dustin: Well, I have a whoredar...
simplisteartiste_sanguineaskew: Hey love. How did the Valentine's treat you? le_tedious: Like a rape victim.
<Maky> Women do: <Maky> - Piercings in the strangest places <Maky> - Tatoos everywhere <Maky> - Face liftings <Maky> - Cesarian Birth <Maky> - Liposuction <Maky> - Chirurgial reduction of the abdomen. <Maky> - Plucking of facial hair and eyebrows <Maky> - Depilation with hot wax <Maky> SO HOW CAN THEY DARE TO TELL YOU "IT HURTS" WHEN YOU ASK FOR SOME ANAL SEX?!?!?
<ph03n1x> Didnt Ray Charles die right before [Ray] came out? That would suck if he never even got to see it.
Scud: The other day, in the park, I was wondering why frisbees look bigger and bigger as they get closer to you Scud: And then it hit me
<shane> there is a special place in hell, down the hall from hitler, for real player
[masterchris] oh wow. I love the way Norton backs you up against a wall and tells you that you have to reboot to complete the installation of these updates.. [masterchris] ..no 'reboot later' button [masterchris] just 'okay' [DRUFER] pfft [masterchris] i wonder, if I hit the x, will it close it - or reboot it. [Pickle_Weasel] just keep it in the background until you're ready [DRUFER] get your virus updates [DRUFER] be happy *@masterchris is going to try the x. [Pickle_Weasel] ping timeout [Pickle_Weasel] $5 on ping timeout [DRUFER] lmao [masterchris] Norton wouldn't be that prickey and make the x button the same as 'ok' i would hope. * masterchris [GAT-X207@=SHVbyv-508.chebucto.ns.Ca] has left IRC * @masterchris (GAT-X207@=SHVbyv-508.chebucto.ns.Ca) Quit (Connection reset by peer) [Kraid] ahaha
<RaveZeroX> stupid me put the square root of 50 as 25 instead of 7.1...... <GuiltySpark> o.O <GuiltySpark> Temporary retardation? <RaveZeroX> i guess u can call it that.... >_> <GuiltySpark> That would SO be a good card for a "Hax0r: Teh 1337 trading card game" <GuiltySpark> Temporary Retardation: Target creature becomes AOLer
<sme> i want an easier girlfriend :( <sme> it's too hard <sme> its on nightmare atm <sme> need an 'i can win' girlfriend <Kamikazee> /god
<@LZ|5133p> gonna have to rebuild my fish tank tomorrow <@LZ|5133p> getting a new filter <@LZ|5133p> and fish <+Toba> pkg_delete fish-tank-1.0.23b <+Toba> cd /usr/ports/fish/fish-tank-1.2.43c <+Toba> make all install clean -WITH_FILTER -WITH_FISH