<NIGHTMARE> I'm black from the waist down. <n10shun> How do you steal a TV with your feet?
jared 33 ghs 02: i heard possibly the most racial remark the other night at a restaurant The Magma Hawk: ? jared 33 ghs 02: an old jewish lady was lecturing my friend who was waitressing about the two tattoos she has and how its not good for her body and a drunk was listening and finally had enough and said "hey old lady, shut up, ur just jealous u got ur tattoo for free" The Magma Hawk: buahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha The Magma Hawk: that's what she gets for preaching jared 33 ghs 02: everyones jaw dropped and there was silence, and then he just turned around and continued talking to his friends or whatever
<EqD> How many emo kids does it take to change a lightbulb? <Castille> 1 to cry about it, 5 to post to an indie rock forum talking about how great the new lightbulb is, 15 to say that the old lightbulb was just fine, and to wish they'd stop changing their light and 25 to flame each other on typoes and musical taste? <Castille> so ... 41? <EqD> Frankly, I don't care. Let the little fuckers cry in the dark.
IAn553: I love making fun of the Amish online. Eddie0235: Why? IAn553: Cause they'll never find out.
OsakePenguin: I would go see elephants in Sri Lanka, but I think they're all planted with bombs to kill tourists. Zephurus: Haha. Zephurus: They even have their own navy and air force. Zephurus: How screwed up is that? OsakePenguin: The elephants? That's hella screwed up. Zephurus: The terrorists.
<Goldmoon> its amazing what you can get with batting your eyelashes and showing your tits.. lol <n0nthing> raped?
guardian_elma: my son just said to me, "you don't even know the basics of cool"
<AnonymousPosterChild> oh god <AnonymousPosterChild> I just messaged a chick on okcupid saying how I thought she was kinda hot AND SHES 13 <AnonymousPosterChild> oh god <AnonymousPosterChild> Shes 13 AND she thinks shes a lesbian <AnonymousPosterChild> this is the least appropriate erection EVER
LiQuIDsCyThE1: Like the Mallard Duck and Peacock, the wigger male will go to great lengths to secure a mate. This young wigger, for instance, has donned a vibrant all pink outfit to ensure success during the mating season. In this case, the flamboyant color scheme serves the dual purpose of both helping him get noticed by females in heat and distracting other males who will be too busy beating his ass to steal any of his mates. A borderline suicidal strategy, but successful nonetheless. ElPikachupacabra: who the hell are you, and what the hell was that
<yoozer> the speed of sound is defined by the distance from door to computer divided by the time interval needed to close the media player and pull up your pants when your mom shouts "OH MY GOD WHAT ARE YOU DOING"
<Metalcore> works now, though <Metalcore> it's just because I have shitty internet <Metalcore> fast as hell <Metalcore> but stable as a refrigerator balanced on a coke bottle <Metalcore> in hurricane force winds <Metalcore> on a 45 degree slope <Metalcore> of teflon
<@MacG> people take their dogs car shopping? < Feenyx> they make cars for dogs now? <@MacG> sure. there are plenty of bitches on the roads :D < Feenyx> touché
<s7|eelektrix> want to scrim with us? <s7|eelektrix> Vin Diesel challenged everyone in the sub-continent of India to an arm-wrestling match. After humiliating that nation's finest arm wrestling warriors, an Indian holy man placed a curse on Vin Diesel, which is why he doesn't have a single hair on his body. But when Vin Diesel saved India from a tsunami by delivering a stand-up routine so hilarious the tsunami shook apart with laughter, the holy man rewarded Vin with the secret of morphing into an alpaca, and the secret of cooking the perfect terducken. It is from Vin Diesel's personal kitchen that John Madden purchases his annual terducken. <s7|eelektrix> oops <s7|eelektrix> dont mind that
benjiwenji07: this one time i saw a 40 foot tall wrench benjiwenji07: and that was the biggest tool id ever seen until i met john genz blahdy78: thats weird because this one time i saw this 40 foot tall wench blahdy78: and that was the biggest whore i ever saw till i met your mom
<LUEshi> What's the default font of the GameFAQs forums? <Sexy_Truck> Braille. <LUEshi> ...
<mattb> funeral was for my uncle <[OmegentooX]> Did he die? <mattb> that seems to be the popular opinion
<@Aprentice> girls who fuck animals should be put in a mental institute <Rjx> or on TV
<Beaph> Whatcha gonna make? <Alacard2k> Spaghetti, beef stroganoff, or tacos. I don\'t feel like the chicken tonight. <Beaph> Mmm... Beef Strokin\' off. <Alacard2k> well it\'s down to two now
<remial> gah... <remial> I was visiting my college roommate earlier today... <remial> his ex-GF and his daughter were there... <remial> they were in the other room watching cartoons or something... <remial> and my friend asked me how my life was going, and I told him that things wre OK but it felt like there was some sort of consperacy to keep me from getting laid... <remial> his ex GF immediatly calls someone on her Cel phone and says "He knows"
hbkshowstopper75: For only 15 grand, we could have our own music veriety show. it could be revolutionary televison even it its on at 2am hbkshowstopper75: i was just pondering the idea today ianepson: need 15k first ianepson: and if we saved that much up i can think of much better uses hbkshowstopper75: it\'s only one thousand 500 dollars ianepson: uh ianepson: yea u could buy urself a calculator with whats left over
Cooler1011: can you explain to me why i need to format and/or partition this disc? Cooler1011: It does not make sense to me. mrrc00: imagine a giant room mrrc00: now, throw millions upon millions of identical things into the room mrrc00: now these things can be used to make larger things, but only if they have some order to them mrrc00: a filesystem, which you create by formatting, orders those bits Cooler1011: yo, get a job Cooler1011: you're qualified Cooler1011: that really sounds like it came right out of PC Magazine mrrc00: oh, I'm not surprised mrrc00: I was pulling it out my ass, after all
<mooman> so i saw this number plate on some ricer car today... YAG-108 <mooman> except i saw it in my rear view mirror, so it looked like BOI-GAY <mooman> i nearly hit the car in front from laughing so hard : /
<Divarin> that's the thing about binary humor <Divarin> it either IS funny, or it's NOT
[dark-force] how long is a second? [[RAA]Ajarn] rofl [dark-force] ? [[RAA]Ajarn] that's priceless
<@PaulGonegooley> I just opened the box for my new harddrive <@PaulGonegooley> it smells like victory <malicious> the fuck it does <malicious> opening a new pack of MTG cards. <malicious> that smells like victory. <@PaulGonegooley> that smells like never getting laid, ever <@PaulGonegooley> that's what that smells like <malicious> fuck you :(
Roi: That's all you have to say? Some Dutch minor is hitting on me and you say "see you tomorrow"? Man, don't ever work for the suicide prevention hotline.
<Adjaro> i hate the internet <Adjaro> i have spent 15 minutes looking for george bush with a lightsaber <Adjaro> and have found NOTHING
< teferi> I lost the office pool < teferi> damn <+res0> aww, no more swimming at work
<KOMPRESSOR> guess what i got <KOMPRESSOR> i got a 100 dollar cigar <Lurch> wow, don\'t spend it all in one place
<Ali_mastah> so our exam finishes and i go to hand my paper in about 2 mins late, and the tite-arsed teacher says "sorry no more exams to be handed in it's too late you get zero" so i go "DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM!" and she goes all cocky and says "no, i do not" so i go "good" i pick up the papers and slid my exam in somewhere in the middle of them all.
a_spank_horses: Bro i_spank_horses: I was driving in a passenger seat of my friends car i_spank_horses: piss wasted i_spank_horses: He was driving like 45 mph i_spank_horses: And there was a mexican guy getting in a truck i_spank_horses: Close to my side i_spank_horses: I stuck my hand out the window and smacked his ass i_spank_horses: and he screamed so loud i_spank_horses: he thought he got shot i_spank_horses: I hurt my elbow i_spank_horses: It was so sick muzzleflashed: AHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA i_spank_horses: I couldn't breahte for 2 days i_spank_horses: funniest thing ive ever done
<d0ppy> I just had an idea <d0ppy> If I spray cheese into a condom.... <cdkj> :/ <d0ppy> I can actually have sex with easy cheese <cdkj> get a girlfriend please
<Darth_Blade> Wow. <Darth_Blade> Word crashes whenever I try to quote the constitution article about human rights. Conspiracy theories anyone? %) <aetherspoon> heh <Darth_Blade> But it's really really weird. <aetherspoon> try openoffice. It only crashes when you quote Microsoft License Agreements. :P
<ChunkyQ> The man's a whore. His balls have seen more chins than a Chinese FedEx employee.
<Breserk> I love your humour :D <ErectuZ> I love your balls <Breserk> :/ <ErectuZ> you seen Team America? <Breserk> Physically? <Breserk> Nope. <ErectuZ> oh <ErectuZ> then that miht have sounded a bit perverted <Breserk> Yes.
<PinkLady> Seen pussygirl pop in and out, but never speak. <PinkLady> Man, that didn't sound right at all. <Shiffer-Brains> I think you had her confused with dickman
[phuong]: zim: smoking harms ur baby [somdomy]: how does smoking hurt your laptop?
<uZi`> i got a photographic memory <uZi`> :/ <Grimmeehh> cool <Grimmeehh> porn on demand <uZi`> mainly for numbers tho <Grimmeehh> o <uZi`> only ascii porn <uZi`> :(
(XisXisXis): I wanna find an old Star Wars pinball machine (XisXisXis): just so I can hear Yoda say, "Extra Ball, you have"
<monarch> the other day i skipped church and went to get something to eat at 7-11 <monarch> i paid with a 10 and recieved $6.66 in change. <monarch> am i going to hell? <qbert> almost certainly <monarch> fuck
DBO: the guy in the middle lane is blasting his music full blast DBO: so loud I cant hear my own music with the windows up DBO: I mean really FREAKING loud DBO: I look over at him and give him a nasty look DBO: and then I see something on the car on the other side of him DBO: its a note DBO: written on cardboard DBO: help up against the window Muz: Yes...and? DBO: "You music sucks, your stereo is too damn loud, and I'm sorry you have a tiny penis" DBO: he turned it down after that
<Admiral_Payne> One day she was typing and turned to a secretary and said she was almost out of typing paper, and asked she should do <Admiral_Payne> "just use copier machine paper," the secretary told her <Admiral_Payne> You know what she did? <Admiral_Payne> she took her last remaining blank piece of typing paper, put it on the photocopier and proceeded to make five copies
<helgrl> What c:\DARTHVADER said to c:\DARTHVADER\ LUKESKYWALKER ? <helgrl> "I´m your folder"
<mikael> people should get beat up, for stating their beliefs <penisbird> is that your belief?
<Boo|Marking> Can you think of any reason why IE, on my dad's laptop, won't display animated .gifs ? <Mirabilis> Because they're disabled in the IE options <Mirabilis> Other than that, security settings <Boo|Marking> Hm. I looked for it. <Boo|Marking> I'll have another lookie-see. <Donovan> I dunno, Boo|Marking, I have a feeling it may have to do with "Microsoft KB #2383892: Internet Explorer is a Steaming Pile of Shit"
TheOrigionalFuzz: this one guy was yelling at me in spanish the other day, so I said "speak a real language or go to hell" and he kept yelling at me, and it was pissing me off, so I flipped him off, so he started chasing me, so I started running, and that's about it TheOrigionalFuzz: turns out I was on his property TheOrigionalFuzz: or something