<TrailMix> Sorry Santorum, you have to carry your dead presidential campaign to full term.
* Andaith has changed topic for #warble to: "Drought in the UK means: It's still raining, but not as much as we'd like."
<benjameno> how do i catch autism <benjameno> i've tried speaking esperanto and using free open source software but it doesn't seem to be working
< Ergo^> Six Stages of Debugging < Ergo^> 1. That can't happen. < Ergo^> 2. That doesn't happen on my machine. < Ergo^> 3. That shouldn't happen. < Ergo^> 4. Why does that happen? < Ergo^> 5. Oh, I see. < Ergo^> 6. How did that ever work? < MatthewWilkes> 7. svn blame < miniwark> 8. one day we will write tests
<DevXen> Today I was at the store and saw a Darth Vader action figure that said "Choking Hazard." It was great.
<Grimhound> You know. You'd think that the human body, being the product of millions of years of evolution, would eventually learn to dull pain when it becomes a chronic thing. <ryzorg> that seems true <@AndrewPH> that would be counter productive
<hq1> i promised myself not to touch java EVER in my life again, i'd rather drive a taxi
<@cougem> at 4am this morning i got a call from another hospital saying they were sending in a patient with a hole in their aorta <@cougem> which as emergencies go is about 1 level below 'his head has fallen off'
<hafiz> <b>hello</b> <hafiz> I NEED ZEND EXPERT!!!!!!!!!!! <zomg> <blink>that so</blink> <DASPRiD> <marquee>what for?</marquee> <zomg> <font size="1337">Please ask your question on the channel, not in my PM</font> <zomg> I really, really hope his irc client actually displays html
Rachel: I'm board. Jeff: I'm chalk, we should get together. Rachel: BOARD! Like I don't have anything to do, not BORD, like a chalkbord. Learn to spellcheck. Jeff: Oh god I hope you don't breed.
<lrvick> whoa <lrvick> i just found a usb magstrip reader <lrvick> i never knew i had <lrvick> i wonder if it works like a keyboard... <lrvick> %B4744740232448132^VICK/LANCE R^ 1506101000000000087800878000000?;4744740232258132= 15061010000000000878? <lrvick> well <lrvick> damn <lrvick> apparently it does <Science> What did we just read? <lrvick> no comment <Science> CC info, gotcha <ThantiK> lrvick... <ThantiK> you swiped a VISA... <ThantiK> 4744 is VISA start code for credit cards. <ThantiK> A bank of america one, specifically. <ThantiK> Might wanna change that now, lol - all of us probably have IRC logging turned on. You just threw your debit card info into all of our machines. <Science> WELL NO ONE WOULD HAVE KNOWN IF YOU HADN'T SAID IT MAN
<Me> the nigerian prince scam is old <Me> today you do it like this: <Me> hi, im an arabic dictator, and i have to get my vast fortune outside the country soon
lemonlimeskull: Newt Gingrich or Mitt Romney to take on Barack Obama. lemonlimeskull: We have to stop letting George Lucas name our Politicians.
<Kerrija> On my income tax 1040 it says 'Check this box if you are blind.' I wanted to put a check mark about three inches away.
<M07w> you haven't been on the internet until you've seen a disembodied breast wearing a pair of panties
<azonenberg> wordpress is an unauthenticated remote shell that, as a useful side feature, also contains a blog
<blaxthos> you want bash.org should participate in the SOPA blackout protest on 18 January ? (+) for yes
<mrfun> speaking of max, i boned a duck <hamumu> are you sure you're speaking of max? <mrfun> took most of yesterday to bone and do two anims, geez <mrfun> but he's limping around in torque <hamumu> this is sounding worse every sentence
<Yokujou`> iPhone autocorrect: Because "Asperger's Cock" is exactly what you were trying to convey.
<drunkill> fuck printers <drunkill> I should name mine Bob Marley <drunkill> Because its always jammin'
<girl> so what's new? <jsn> just got out of an abusive relationship <girl> whoa, what happened? <jsn> decided to stop abusing her
<blaxthos> so tonight i got roped into going to some evangelical church christmas dinner theatre <blaxthos> "oh christmas, carol!" <cue> evangelicals are morons <blaxthos> it was absolutely godawful <blaxthos> until the last musical number, where the main character realized she has a hole in her heart <blaxthos> and sang a song entitled "i'm going to fill my hole with jesus"
Psyche: My roommate and her boyfriend broke up recently. Psyche: This morning a moving truck came to get the boyfriend's stuff. Psyche: On the side of the moving truck? It was an ad for a disaster cleanup company.
<tfair> is there an amazon service that will have something delivered to you at a random point in the next month? <tfair> or in the next year? <dRdR> tfair: that's called USPS
<jeemer> you know, come to think of it i already have a 5 gallon aquarium <jeemer> hundreds of billions of pets <jeemer> i feed them malt and they shit out alcohol <jeemer> its a pretty good system actually
<+GeoFrey> CINCINNATI - A court official in the U.S. says a 13-year-old boy charged with raping a 5-year-old girl at a McDonald's play area is denying the accusation. <+GeoFrey> lol wtf? <+farted> I'm lovin' it
Captain Morgan: I swear I'm going to kill whoever lives above me Saiu: the chair again? Captain Morgan: it's like he's playing ddr with combat boots Captain Morgan: and jumping as hard as he can Captain Morgan is now Away. Saiu: uh-oh
<Matt> A catholic priest, a pedophile and a rapist walk into a bar. <Matt> He orders a beer.
<skydrome> man why are there so many diff aur packages of chromium :/ so confusing <xhazk> skydrome: No manual entry for why are there so many diff aur packages of chromium :/ so confusing
<Brownie> That guy's such a nerd, his first words probably were "Hello World!"
<&Cenobite> I'd like to holiday in China <&Cenobite> I want to see the great firewall <+user> haha <+user> you can see it from myspace <+flying_purple_people_eater> lol <&Cenobite> user: haha
< Maiden945> oh that reminds me, i got told a story about Jerub on the weekend :) < dawnstar> it's probably true < Maiden945> i was told about the time Jerub did a burnout (or tried to :P) out of a ex-gf's street while they were dating lol < zero> he must have pedalled like crazy for that
<Quizzer> Question 45: What are the first three digits of pi? <emai420> pie <emai420> p i e <emai420> Pie <emai420> P I E <emai420> PIE <emai420> PIE <emai420> PIE <Quizzer> Hint: 3. <emai420> 3PIE <emai420> 3 P I E <emai420> 3pie <Quizzer> Time's up, the answer was 3.14! <emai420> this si retartet
<socket7> I was sitting on the train this morning opposite a really sexy Thai girl. I thought to myself, "Please don't get an erection, please don't get an erection. <socket7> But she did :(
<+zubby> strawberry barium shake anyone? * Heartsbane passes. * zubby just did, too... <+zubby> had me drink 2 24oz cups of it. fell in love with the nurse. <+zubby> she kept pulling her phone out... i couldn't mimic... <+zubby> she asked if i knew how to hack facebook cuz she 'likes to snoop' * Heartsbane nods. <+zubby> as we said our goodbyes she let her hair down and i swear it was in slow motion <+zubby> should i have added the part that i'm shitting what appears to be milk and clay?
<@red> so let me rephrase that <@red> you showed up at work completely high on acid and your boss didnt fire you because he knows you code better when youre on drugs? <@bl00e> pretty much
<blaxthos> so what are you guys doing for pedophile christmas^ H^H^H^H^H^H^H^H^H^H^H^H^H^H^H^H^H^H^Hhalloween this year?
// // Dear maintainer: // // Once you are done trying to 'optimize' this routine, // and have realized what a terrible mistake that was, // please increment the following counter as a warning // to the next guy: // // total_hours_wasted_here = 25 //
<megate> solve <megate> The word has 7 letters, preceded by God, greater than God, more evil than the devil, and if you eat it, you will die. <+Jigsy> Apple only has six letters.
<@gongoputch> so my 12 year old has been BEGGING me for a minecraft server. I told him 'OK', he said YEA!', I say 'but you have to install the OS (FreeBSD), configure it, set up a jail and generally learn enough to admin it. <@gongoputch> he hates me now <@gongoputch> BUT - he got it running :) <@gongoputch> after it was going, he looked up at me and said 'This OS is the logical thing I have ever seen' <@gongoputch> ... it's little moments like those ...
<Faust> lol <Faust> when sarah pailn wishes me happy new year it feels like a hate crime <lumpy_> you arent a jew <Faust> the fuck im not <lumpy_> ive never seen you at the meetings
<Vrooom> while taking a stroll in the park, a kid walked up to me and asked, "Do you believe in unicorns?" I answered, "No." He dunked his ice cream cone on my head, laughed hysterically, and ran off screaming, "BELIEVE!"
<vanguard> i lie awake at night <vanguard> thinking about how one day <vanguard> buy some chance of dumb luck <Redback> you will write your whole story on one line?
<@RATA> stupid women <@RATA> "i wanna hang out but i dont have gas money" <@RATA> thats slut for "spend your money on me"
<h00k> making a twitter bot to watch a timeline of a certain (prominent public figure, politician) and tell him he had [x] amount of characters left when he tweets <h00k> 'went 2 $place 2 talk about r jobs' <h00k> Dear @personsname, you had [x] characters remaining and didn't have to shorten it so much. #pleasestop'
Matt: I AM QUERY OPTIMIZATION GUY Matt: AND THIS... IS MY QUERY Andy: wha?... WHO TOUCH MY QUERY?! Matt: WHO TOUCHED MY JOINS!!?? Matt: Some users think they can outsmart me. Maybe... maybe. I have yet to meet one who can outsmart LIMIT. Matt: She weighs in at 300 lines of SQL and she searches 8 million rows per second. It costs 24 billion machine cycles to run this query... for 12 seconds.
<@joosa> how do you say float in java? just 1.5f?
<@Gliptic> FloatFactoryFactory.getInstance
(FloatFactoryFactory.defaultInstanceDescriptionString).getFactory
(Locale.getLocale("en-US")).createBuilder().setString
("1.5").getResult()
<SmilingDevil> My dad is saying that 9/11 was an inside job. <SmilingDevil> Someone help me. <Afforess> it was <Afforess> the planes were inside the towers
<Psychofreak> I have a kid (3 yo) with toys that do stuff and/ or beep. Easily 100 AA batteries in JUST her toys. (although she does not play with many anymore so they are getting packed up for donation) Funny thing is we got her a wooden train set, no batteries at all, and now almost all the fancy electronic toys are left alone! We will see if this holds true for more than a few weeks. <Psychofreak> Amazing how much more powerful imagination is than batteries. <Anonymous Coward> Try telling that to my wife.