<mmiikkee12> XD, i just got the best spam message ever <mmiikkee12> "Make $$$ Fast" <mmiikkee12> "Hold down your shift and 4 keys at the same time. In about a second you will be making $$$ fast."
<phex> so you excited for your interview at RIM? <burnison> yep <phex> so then you're hoping to get a rim job? <burnison> hell yes *phex waits for the pun to set in
<KittieRose> So I get this email from this girl. <KittieRose> "I made out with a chick and got mono..." <KittieRose> I email her back. <KittieRose> "If you'd have made out with two chicks, would you have gotten stereo?"
<Mik0r> I wish they made cars that run on methane cause I sure produce a lot of it <gerbil> i wish they made cars that run on methadone <gerbil> cuz id siphon everyones fuel
<Jonno> What's the difference between regular garlic and roasted garlic? <Arclight> A gypsy once told me it was the roasting, but you shouldn't trust the gypsies
dracony_gentoo: C#? dracony_gentoo: i like to keep away from objects dracony_gentoo: especially sharp ones dracony_gentoo: get it
jrronimo: Hah! On a whim I figured I'd check some of the bigger companie for open jobs in Boulder... so what do I get? Comcast's career website: "Could not connect to remote server". Sounds like they've got a Network Engineer position open for me. :D
<Ezekiel> When we were doing about the 3rd world in RE, the teacher was saying how we live in the 1st world, africa is the 3rd world, but there isn't really a 2nd world <Ezekiel> So this kid asks the teacher "Where was world war 2 fought then?"
Lush Puppy: I lost my virginity at an anime convention - this sentence makes me sound a lot fatter than I actually am.
<Triumph> No wonder we can't win in Afghanistan. <Triumph> We drop a dozen bombs and when no one is left standing, drop a bag of food. <Triumph> Instead, we should drop the bag of food first and when everyone gathers around it, drop a single bomb.
<Mr_Saturn> Diagnosing computer problems over IRC is like trying to diagnose brain cancer with a pointy stick
<Simon>man, i'm farting like a motherfucker over here! you can really smell the decaying hampster flesh... <Simon>there's a two week backlog of shit held up by that furry fucker <Nick> OMFG, that is WRONG, you're fucking sick! <Nick> you put a P in HAMSTER...sicko
<Harkila> i've always wondered what "holy shit" actually is <Harkila> my strongest mental image is about the pope taking a crap <bleak-> a radiant turd with a halo <Rancid-> like, xbox?
aaront: :-P aaront: Whatever ya say xxkuku4purplexx: dont stick ur tongue out at me, are u like 2 or something? aaront: you take emotiocons way too seriously <3 xxkuku4purplexx: ewwwww xxkuku4purplexx: gross
<&TwoZero> so.. the internet at work died completely and after trying to fix it I said fuck it and went home <&TwoZero> and ran netstumbler on the bus.. and found 336 accesspoints <&TwoZero> the bus stopped in front of a church, and the SSID 'satans partyhouse' appeared <&TwoZero> must be some student living next to it or something
< traicovn> I'm stealing wifi at the shearton right now < traicovn> until security comes and gets me < traicovn> Some older upper 30s drunk woman invited me up to her room. < traicovn> But I think the high speed is just about the same up there so I turned her down.
<BenS> Matt, have you heard about that webserver that's running off a potatoe for power ... just displays a text smiley face and takes like 15 seconds to load? <Omnica> Brings new meaning to the term "server farm" <BenS> You should be shot.
Scouthouse: king kong was a good movie elcucarachaloco: an AWESOME movie elcucarachaloco: only one better is return of the king Scouthouse: never seen it elcucarachaloco: awesome movie Scouthouse: but how can he return when hes dead?
<Doc> All this pollen is killing me, You can see the green clouds of it floating in the air. <Doc> pollen is just tree sperm... <Doc> I feel like mother nature just gave me a facial..
<dil-hole> Today I was at a restaurant and was waiting for my food. <dil-hole> Then I started to play my DS on pictochat see? And I found someone that was playing it too. <dil-hole> We started to draw pictures and thinking it was some older guy and everything, I was joking around and drew a penis. <dil-hole> I looked up to see who it was and about 20 feet away, I heard a gasp. I look up and it s a 10 year old girl with a DS in her hands. <dil-hole> I immediately closed my DS and hid it. That was freaken scary.
<Choko> i know 101 ways to use a penis <HamsterMan> cool <HamsterMan> does it include writing with it and playing baseball <Choko> okay... now i know 103 ways <HamsterMan> XD
<MJak> whats that movie with the the planet full of talking apes? <Nitrix> Planet of the apes...? <Mjak> Yah the one where the space guy crash lands there whats it called <Nitrix> Planet of the apes...? <Mjak> YES BUT WHATS THE FUCKING NAME OF THE MOVIE
ZA|Drinking|: I remember in high school, during somebody made an off hand remark about wondering why they sacrificed virgins ZA|Drinking|: And I was all like, they sure as hell ain't going to give up the ones that put out ZA|Drinking|: And then I got detention
<@Miss_Morgan> heh <@Miss_Morgan> ok get this <@Miss_Morgan> I came up with a marketing campaign for a new cereal <@Miss_Morgan> I was staring at some fruit loops I poured myself <@Miss_Morgan> and after about 5 minutes of staring and munching, I realized something <@Miss_Morgan> red... orange... yellow... green... blue... violet <@Miss_Morgan> it's the 6-color rainbow! <@Miss_Morgan> so get this <@Miss_Morgan> in an approaching perspective and going up, stars and glitter-things coming off of the name <@Miss_Morgan> Hom-O's <@Miss_Morgan> and have three gay guys in the corner of the box <@Miss_Morgan> on the bottom of the front pane, there'll be the slogan <@Miss_Morgan> "They're fruity, they're colorful, they're fabulous!"
<Josh> i ogtta go to an apointment <Josh> i cant spell <Josh> ps its not a spelling appt <Phil> smart of you to abbreviate it the second time
Rabid Manyak: Oh man, my mid-term mark update is awesome Rabid Manyak: computer science: 61% science: 74% math: 51% philosophy: 97% Rabid Manyak: Thanks LSD!
shotz190: my cellphones just gettin worse as time goes on shotz190: whenever somebody sends me a text, it just takes longer and longer to get here shotz190: either that or jake wants to know if i can give him a ride to school yesterday
Clainsynar: What if all numbers were multiples of pi and our integer system was wrong? TokMor: stop having such irrational thoughts
<sai sce> what's up? <marc> nm, just plotting to kill my psych teacher <sai sce> he'd probably be like "THE GUN SHOWS THAT YOU FEAR INTIMACY!!!" <sai sce> while you were shooting him.
<Chcherrycola>Oh shit I'm fucked <Chcherrycola>I hid my weed in my PSP carrying case. So I get up to go get some and I can't find it anywhere, then I realise my little brother must have taken it with him on the plane to Florida with my family... O_O
<KillerB> man, while I'm excited about the interview, getting my ass up at like 1:30pm is gonna blow.
<werro> damnit :/ <werro> my dad found my porn <Bob112> So what? I bet my dad knows I have porn. <werro> but my dad didnt know Im gay :/ <Bob112> Um, like, neither did I * werro has left #hookerz
<benjick> i talked to a friend, who is a bit geeky about doctypes <benjick> "when it comes to girls, i'm xhtml 1.1 strict, you are like 4.01 loose" :(
<calvin909> I don't know what gives, but the last 3 movies i've downloaded are in frigging spanish. <princess> dey took our pirating jobs! <calvin909> yeah no doubt
<bloodmaster> this guy keeps sending me notices, how do i send them back????? <`Trust`> ./notice <nick> <message> <bloodmaster> ty! <bloodmaster> ./notice <Tommyboy872> <hello tommy, my name is john i am from michigan im 16! Im 5 foot 11 inch tall, you sound cute n we should talk more often ok??>
<sdodson> can you provide that in wma format? <Corydon76-home> Only if you can provide an encoder <Corydon76-home> but it has to be able to run on my Apple IIgs <Wonton> Wma sucks <sdodson> you can encode oggs on your Apple IIgs? <Corydon76-home> No, but if you're going to be an asshole about encoding formats, I'm going to be an asshole about the platform the encoder needs to run on. <Catonic> lol
monetcopy: girls are like nun chucks monetcopy: they are awesome! monetcopy: but when u mess up it hurts monetcopy: ...alot
Kanuck: i like to look at porn in pdf files.. just so i can make the little hand grab things.
<WarMoose> Think about how stupid the average person is. Now realize that half of them are dumber than that. <Chunda> Why half?
chewp: so i have to make a movie for chinese class ransom: must be a pretty short movie huh? chewp: fucker...
scuttlemonkey: This [face recognition] technology should speed airport check-ins, but it could also be used in banks or for checking ID cards as it allows full identification in less than one second. mcc: Great, I can't wait until the day when I get punched in the face, and suddenly I can't use ATMs anymore.
<Coma.> I'm drawing a pony for my friend <Coma.> Except I can't draw so basicly I am drawing a horse only making it look small. <Coma.> Because a pony is basicly just a little horse. <Fish> wtf? No they aren't! <Fish> That's like saying a midget's a person!!
<Alex> i <Alex> f s h <Alex> t c k s <Alex> s i <Laila> ...what is he trying to do? <Reiz0r> Trying to make a fish from fishsticks. <Reiz0r> It's MODERN ART <Reiz0r> It's the true pesonification of the juxtaposition of the sombre emotion that the world of man made aesthetics is slowly and irrevokably destroy the nature of that which is ... <Reiz0r> Something <Reiz0r> Modern art doesn't have to look like much. It just needs an explanation with lots of long words
<sceadu> i really need to figure out how to use a debugger in emacs <iank> pfft, how could you *not* know? <iank> It's just ctrl+alt+meta+f7+numlock+c+e+m+< <iank> Hell, you could discover that by accident in emacs..
<who> i can't watch brokeback mountain for the same reason i can't watch horror movies <who> i would scream "HE'S RIGHT BEHIND YOU!!!" in the middle of the theater
Tanith: Today was so fucked up; in science we have a really hot teacher and she was bending over talking to a student and this other kid stood behined her and pretended to hump her and i was standing glarign at him coz i have a thing for her. Tanith: she fucking turned around and saw me staring Tanith:....now she thinks im a pervert :(
<Towzzer> hey ufo <ufo8mydog> hey ugly <Towzzer> that's not my nick <ufo8mydog> sorry, i'm a faceperson, not a nameperson <Towzzer> ouch
<notjoe> yesterday i brought my cat to the vet since he wasnt peeing. So, the vet forced him to pee by putting pressure on his bladder but i swear i saw his finger was on the my cats asshole <tripsta> did he put his finger in his mouth after <samurai_> did he light up a smoke? <notjoe> no and no <notjoe> but there was no need to be fingering the cats ass by doing what he was doing <notjoe> this other time he commented on how nice the cats testicles were