<Nietzche> what kind of weird keyboard are you using <Nietzche> dvorak or something <Nietzche> BECAUSE GUESS WHAT <Nietzche> IM USING QUERTY <Nietzche> QWERTY <Nietzche> omg <Nietzche> how can i misspell qwerty <Nietzche> >_>
<Prysm> my dad just said 'I just exploded' <Prysm> and my mom said 'that's not the first time today' <Prysm> I REALLY HOPE THAT WASN'T SEXUAL <Prysm> or I will kill myself <Taidahn`> Prysm, it was * Prysm dies a little inside <Taidahn`> Prysm, and a little of your dad probably died inside your mom. <Taidahn`> Prysm, or maybe on
<Demon Beaver> So, at the LAN-party, there was a new guy. <Demon Beaver> And when he went for a drink, we snuck up to his pc, and created a folder called Horse-Porn on the desktop. <Demon Beaver> Then we took a screenshot, put it as his wallpaper, and deleted the folder. <Demon Beaver> He tried to get rid of that folder for 3 hours! ^^
mcilhemnny: see, this is why I like bittorrents mcilhemnny: Family guy, Seasons... 1-4 + the movie mcilhemnny: Now thats fucking organisation mcilhemnny: I don't have to do any work mcilhemnny: I just sit on my fucking ass and wait... mcilhemnny: for mcilhemnny: 196.5 days... mcilhemnny: awww... the simple life
<Vorpy> seriously, "alote"? what is your first language? <Vorpy> do you buy ingredients at a shoppe? <Vorpy> ye olde shoppe? <Vorpy> is where ye buye ye goodes? <Vorpy> muche goodes are needed with whiche to cooke <Vorpy> to cooke alote of foodes, ye neede alote of goodes from ye olde shoppe
<tarheelcoxn> iank has trouble with English. his native language is Python <iank> Yeah <iank> I'm forced <iank> To indent <iank> My sentences
<Analyzer> I'm on the come-down <Analyzer> I ran out of heroin at 10 this morning <Breathe> You're gonna be such a good daddy :D <Analyzer> You'll have to watch the police blotter to see just how good
MorningQueen: Why are you against abortion? MassHypnosisJoe: I'm just against women making choices
Centurion04> did you see the terri schiavo .gif? Centurion04> it was a .jpg Centurion04> afk
<Jlax> wow <Jlax> i just opened microsoft word <Jlax> apperently, i only had the trial version <Jlax> and it expired yesterday <Jlax> so i read the message it gave me <Jlax> "some features may become unavailable" <Jlax> then i discovered what some of those features were: <Jlax> 1. <Jlax> TYPING <Jlax> 2. <Jlax> DOCUMENT VIEWING
balial: docvin: 24 blows docvin: I know, but I can't stop watching. docvin: It's like a fat stripper. docvin: OK, that wasn't a very good analogy.
<smearedink> what's your SAT score? <|nevermind|> smearedink: 1930 <smearedink> are you serious?!?!?!?! <smearedink> dude <smearedink> fuck no <smearedink> i hate this <smearedink> all the dumb people try to act smart <smearedink> and all the smart people try to act dumb <|nevermind|> smearedink: welcome to IRC
<TWK|Tharensk> im sure you could've googled it <Fneb> nice to know people still haven't learnt to google :/ <Accipiter> Nice to know that some ppl still can throw arrogant comments on ppl who doesn't know the entire world encyclopedia :/ <skenk> yea because google is clearly in an obscure corner in britannica as far as public knowledge goes
(@xt) mexican independence day is sept 16th i believe (@mitch) yeah (@xt) may 5th has significance in pueblo mexico and those from pueblo .. its not celebrated by most of mexico (@mitch) day they defeated the french (@RossH) dude.....if everyone celebrated on a day they defeated the french it'd be a year-round holiday
<HorseC> parrots are like children... you spend 2-3 years teaching them to talk, then the rest of your life wishing you never did.
<@semi> heres the way I see it <@semi> they say you are supposed to spend two months salary on the ring <@semi> better do that now when you are earning 50 bucks a month
Jeffrey: Our customers at Cox are simply amazing. Jeffrey: So I'm trying to troubleshoot this customer's cable. I tell her to punch in "zero, three" on the remote control. Jeffrey: These instructions were followed shortly by two tones in my ear.
lemonlimeskull: You know you've been chatting too long when you think C:/> is some kind of depressed Arab smiley.
creativeembassy: you know what's really, REALLY cool about the dvorak keyboard? glotigerglo: what creativeembassy: when you're playing hangman, all you gotta do is hit everysingle key on the home row, and you automatically kick your opponent's ass
<@Rask> ... oh man <@Rask> The next version of TCP/IP <@Rask> Must replace SYN and ACK <@Rask> with ORLY and YARLY
sitexec: okay, question sitexec: if you have a whole loaf of bread, and 3 peices have mold, are the rest okay? kitchen: sitexec, not bread kitchen: cheese yes, bread no sitexec: they wernt touching each other kitchen: doesnt matter sitexec: hmm, second question sitexec: what if ive eaten it already?
You Are Hemp: i bit my lip pretty hard today You Are Hemp: there was blood on the opposite side You Are Hemp: didnt get me laid though hobopower113: does biting ones lip usually get one laid? You Are Hemp: i guess not...
<leefal> Holy shit! Zacarias Moussaoui must have downloaded a serious ammount of albums to get 6 life sentences.
<JDigital> Religion in Northern Ireland actually has only very little to do with religion <bee> is it more like stamp collecting <Divine> Yes, except there are only two different stamps. And they want to kill each other.
Dr-Mambo: so yeah Dr-Mambo: how about that <recent current event> Dr-Mambo: did you catch that <local sporting event> last weekend? Willuknight: no i missed <local sporting event> but i did manage to get to <recent current event> and it was pretty damm cool Willuknight: i met <person we both know> there as well, they were with some friends Dr-Mambo: oh thats just <emotive statement> Willuknight: <unecessary agreement> Dr-Mambo: well im going to go <masterbate furiously> to <lesbian pornogrophy> Dr-Mambo: <parting statement> Willuknight: <salutations>
<MDRL> see <MDRL> when i want to remember shit <MDRL> i write it on my arm <MDRL> problem being, i wake up the next morning <MDRL> with, like, "30 foot tall cock" on my forearm and no context <MDRL> i'm sure it was a great idea <MDRL> but i'll never know for sure
t903576: When I got arrested my dad told me "Youre lucky there arent any "doctors" around here that will perform 72nd trimester abortions"!
<Ashley`> thats the first example of sex with a birdhouse ive ever seen <[Rabite]> second here <[Rabite]> but definately the funnier of the two
<Javin> God I hate people. <Javin> I'm trying to program here, and some chick walks in and starts gabbing over my shoulder about nonsense. <Javin> So I continue to work, and just ignore her. Apparently, she took this to mean I was "frowning." <Javin> Her: "You know, it takes 36 muscles to frown, and only 12 to smile." <Javin> Me: "And none at all to ignore you with utter indifference." <Javin> Apparently that wasn't as subtle as I thought it was. She took the hint.
Veav: I would do weird things with my kids. Veav: Their first language will be BASIC. Veav: They'll be running around yelling "10 print daddy, 20 print daddy, 30 print can I have some candy, 40 input x?" Chef Brian: So Veav, I take it they won't be functional members of any society? Veav: And I'd be all "X = NO!"
<Rockman_20xx> Life goal: Have three kids, name them CTRL, ALT, and DEL. If they piss me off, hit em twice.
<tyrius> i have no job, no car, no gf <tyrius> its 4am, sitting in my parents basement <tyrius> my fingers are now permanent orange from the cheetos, and so is my wang (dont ask) <tyrius> and dont you hate it when you step in a puddle of cum, then step in leftover dry ramen on the floor <tyrius> if you let this shit dry, its impossible to get off. like instant liquid cement <tyrius> ... <tyrius> hello <ef_slinky> You make me feel so good about my life right now. Thank you.
SeanM: Go ahead and try it - just back up the database first. PaulN: I am pretty confident everything will just work. SeanM: That is the tech equivalent of "hey guys watch this!"
(@Morkoth) i drove over a man changing his tire on the highway once (@Morkoth) they never caught me ([P]Rhea) *The FBI monitors all channels on IRC* (@Morkoth) fucker ruined my suspension (@Morkoth) Did I say drove over? I meant got out and helped (@Morkoth) yep helped him change the tire (@Morkoth) after setting off regulation flares, and parking 3 meters from the bumpber and activating my four way signals
<<Cerberus>> i swear, these nintendo fanboys remind me of girls. those girls who fall in love with the guy who takes their virginity, the girls that keep calling him 4 years later even tho he has changed his name to sadiq after he got raped in jail
(+shadebug) so, I just spent half an hour getting a latino radio station to work on my computer (+shadebug) you know, to keep abreast of the latino music scene (+shadebug) finally get it working (+shadebug) they're playing coldplay
<jHeriKurl> some kid once told me supermans only weakness was kyptonite <jHeriKurl> then i lit his comic book on fire <jHeriKurl> and said <jHeriKurl> i guess bic lighters too
<davean> http://news.com.com/ Judge+Worker+cant+be+fired+for+Web+surfing/ 2100-1030_3-6064520.html <blorpy> can't look, i'm work <blorpy> i'll check it out later
mellotron: wow, this is just begging for police investigation mellotron: alt.binaries.porn.children Indolentron: dont worry! it's porn *for* children! Indolentron: the word of the day is "clitoris!" can you find the clitoris on this woman's vulva?
Cope: we have been so bored at work we made a sport Cope: we call it condomball Cope: theres a used condom thrown in the ally and if the ball touches it the game is over forever
Schraitle: IP's are like old phone numbers because when you get a new one you're stuck with all the shit that the person who had it before you did. Schraitle: for instance, the guy who had my IP before i did had a lot of fun spamming irc and getting himself blocked from every website that i like to go to
<dp> theres no games stores near me <dp> and by near i mean walking distance <dp> and by walking distance i mean within 30 metres
<Blabber> i just started working out, to get me some muscle and feel confident <Blabber> so after the first time, i come home and look at myself in the mirror <Blabber> to see if there is already improvement <Blabber> my mom steps in and says "you look good enough to play in a warmovie" <Blabber> so she boosts my confidence and i say thx! like a sergeant you mean? <Blabber> and i swear to god then she says: no like a concentration camp victim <Blabber> she left the room laughing her ass off...
Pep Boy Manny02: I was a little disappointed yesterday. Pep Boy Manny02: Got "Religion for Dummies" from the library. Pep Boy Manny02: You know how the "...For Dummies" books usually have the bomb icon for, "Don't do this!"? Pep Boy Manny02: This one didn't.
SansMuse: is there a word for using words in a passage from a language other than the one you're writing in? mr telnorp: Pretentiousness?
Drahmen: I unbutton your blouse and start to massage your brest. Higgs23: I moan and start to undo your pants. Drahmen: Wait a minute...This is the wrong window. Higgs23: I noticed. Drahmen: WTF dude? Higgs23: I felt like playing along.
<slot|processor> I thought today was the day I would meet a hot chick reading an oracle book in books-a-million.... but i was once again wrong. <sdodson> It turned out to be a dude? <slot|processor> Worse. <sdodson> He was reading a MySQL book?