hQDB :: hacker Quote Database

Network Stats: 21117 Approved Quotes | 1 in Moderation Queue
#290 [ + | - ] 721
<Evilspoon> Legalize cigarettes!
<Evilspoon> wait nm
#289 [ + | - ] 793
<rouge> you vegetarian?
<AlmtyBob> yah
<rouge> i'm sorry. :/
#288 [ + | - ] 1943
<enex> MadHatter: eat shit!
<MadHatter> what
<MadHatter> fuck you
<enex> oh
<enex> hi
<MadHatter> yeah hey
<enex> what's up
<MadHatter> nothing man
#287 [ + | - ] 1319
<wild-> so a guy goes to the drugstore, he says 'i need some
condoms for my 11 year old daughter' druggist says 'your
daughters sexually active at age 11?' he says 'nah she just
lies there like her mother'
#286 [ + | - ] 3054
<Infe> what happens if you try to recharge an alkaline battery
<HomerJ> blows up
<Andrigaar> Don't they explode?
<Andrigaar> I wonder if it's violent or just some leaking
battery acid.
<Infe> i think it's all a scam to get you to pay more for
'rechargeables' and ---
<Infe> AHHHHHHHHHHH MY FACE
<Infe> AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
#285 [ + | - ] 1227
<BlackDeth> that was the night those gay dudes were hittin on
me
<BlackDeth> and the one offered me money to go sex0r him
<BlackDeth> they prolly saw i was wrecked
<BlackDeth> and thought they could take advantage
<BlackDeth> boglins own
<ikkenai> so how much did he pay you
<BlackDeth> he didnt
<BlackDeth> he just offered
<ikkenai> oh
<ikkenai> so you did it for free
#284 [ + | - ] 55
<ikkenai> what does sex in a boat and american beer have in
common
<ikkenai> they're both fucking close to water
#283 [ + | - ] 1024
<GreenJelly> omg this lisa chick and me are gonna get married
<GreenJelly> her turnoffs are Arrogant Guys, S&M, and Big
Dicks
<GreenJelly> IM SO IN
#282 [ + | - ] 577
<Hatter> I was over-circumsized
<Hatter> the law suit is still pending
#281 [ + | - ] 391
*** Joins: root (kode54@excellent.I.found.yourdads.cc)
#279 [ + | - ] 919
<gloone> internet, movies and masturbation ruined my life.
<gloone> but it also made it worthwhile
#278 [ + | - ] 338
*** Joins: SLiPMaTT`
(slippy@I.get.my.STDs.from.the.girls.at.geishagarden.com)
#277 [ + | - ] 574
<Hatter> Sometimes hypr, I can hear the gears in your head
grind to a halt
<hypr> haha
#276 [ + | - ] 714
<papasui> i bought a box of crab ragoons
<papasui> and i looked to see how many calories are in each
one
<papasui> and its freaking 400 and 250 fat calories
<Marcus-> "WARNING: May cause manboobs!"
#275 [ + | - ] -544
<ikkenai> these tortilla chips are growing dangerously salty
<ikkenai> old dutch is approaching the limits of the sodium
frontier
<CanuckGod> ikke: the Ristorante ones?
<ikkenai> yeah
<CanuckGod> those things are as salty as a nigger's balls
#269 [ + | - ] 715
n e r d b 5: i smell a burning smell
n e r d b 5: maybe its my pc
n e r d b 5: oh wait, ewww, its the cat pooping
#266 [ + | - ] -168
<Low`DOHC> I got a tin can with some string, and a nigger from
ethiopia that can make all those l33t african carrier tones.
That's my bandwidth.
<Low`DOHC> he goes "oot click weet barada chicken please"
<Low`DOHC> I feed him dog food and tell him it's chicken
<Low`DOHC> When I go out, I put him in my trunk with a drum
<Low`DOHC> SERIOUS bass
<Low`DOHC> nigga goes "booooom booooooooom clicka gimme
chicken please BOOOM boom"
#265 [ + | - ] 783
<hypr> i rember in kindergarden the teach took me upsidedown
by my ankles and swung me around cause i wasent eating my
pees..
<hypr> fucking bitch
#263 [ + | - ] 117
<SWM> i hate your fucking pancakes
<SWM> i never eat them
<SWM> "FUCK YOU EAT MY FUCKING PANCAKES"
#261 [ + | - ] 1602
<EFX>I hate it when the cats stare at me when I go into the
livingroom to jackoff to pornos :(
#260 [ + | - ] 623
<Guilty> Pen, you're going to hae to give something up
<Guilty> You cant go to a gym and run geekissues.org
#259 [ + | - ] 694
<reptile-> My hands are soft and girly-like.
<reptile-> Masturbating is so much better for me!
<Taurclave> You dream of handjobs
<DigDug> reptile- pretends that the hands belong to a girl
<Taurclave> He probably has painted nails on his favorite hand
#258 [ + | - ] 837
<subHero> Help! i just got my penis stuck in my cdrom!!1
<johndoe92> grab a kleenex and hit 'eject'
#257 [ + | - ] 374
<repp0r> Dude, pot first, then porn.
<repp0r> Trust me. It's so much better. :D
<lele> dude i'm doing before AND after
#250 [ + | - ] -30
n e r d b 5: wait a minute. 'my' b-days on 31 may... lol i was
thinking aboiut my uncle hehe
e l i t e m r p: umm how could you confuse your own bday with
your uncle?
n e r d b 5: their so close together hehe
#247 [ + | - ] 507
n e r d b 5: you use redhat?
n e r d b 5: thats a program you can get warez from, right?
n e r d b 5: like napster
n e r d b 5: d/l apps from other people
#246 [ + | - ] 544
e l i t e m r p: first type this
CD WINDOWSCOMMAND
n e r d b 5: i dont have a cd in the cdrom
#245 [ + | - ] 115
n e r d b 5: ever farted and the smell stuck to you for like a
whole day?
#243 [ + | - ] 887
<!Lun_e> ill just sit here and eat my Kice Rispy
Paralellogram.
#242 [ + | - ] 2078
<McMoo> An infinite number of monkeys, on an infinite number
of typewriters, will eventually produce the collected works of
Shakespeare. John Romero's Daikatana was a ten-minute,
five-monkey job.
#241 [ + | - ] 1510
<SWM> if the average penis is 6"
<SWM> and the average pussy is 8" deep that means there''s
about 2 miles of unused pussy in like New York
#239 [ + | - ] 1143
<Amanda`> I just went out to the parking lot in my bathrobe to
exchange warez CDs.
#238 [ + | - ] 486
[thinkmad] does anyone know a good car audio site
(McMoo) www.40plus50plus.com
[thinkmad] you fucking bastard moo
[kisama] mcmoo: i have member logins to that site
#236 [ + | - ] 3147
<FyNXeR> Pardon my spelling... but I'm from Sweden
<sumbody> pardon my accent, i am from southeast asia
<DrMonkey> pardon my shotgun, i'm from west virginia
#235 [ + | - ] 2109
<noss> wank in a thunder storm, it will make you feel like
Thor
#231 [ + | - ] 363
<ArIck> mann
<ArIck> i sure am getting a porno addiction
<ArIck> i mean, i feel empty in the morning if i haven't found
good porno
#230 [ + | - ] 1058
<kisama> i'll have dsl too, by this week, brett
<kisama> cockface is hooking me up
<kisama> :)
<Guilty|> Thats really nice of your mom to do
#229 [ + | - ] 940
<iMike> i remember every time i closed my eyes
<iMike> id see your penis
<iMike> it was great
<iMike> i mean disgusting.
#228 [ + | - ] 1288
<Guilty> Nov 27 23:45:02 Box1 MormonGuard[20721]: Mormons be
tryin' to break into y0 system!
<Guilty> Thank god for you MormonGuard
#227 [ + | - ] 1728
<Amanda`> We're going to have matching motherboards and
processors
<timmo> AMANDA: NOW THAT IS THE TYPE OF WEIRD SHIT IM TALKING
ABOUT
<timmo> MOST WOMEN WANT MATCHING SHEETS AND SHIT
<timmo> weirdo
#226 [ + | - ] 480
<DigDug> and i *don't* need an absolute nerd like me. THAT's
when i will shrivel up and die, because i will never leave the
house then.
<Guilty> Yeah pen and his wife would just compete for first
post on slashdot
<Guilty> It would never end
#225 [ + | - ] 704
<Amanda`> WE COULD USE DHCP FOR WINS RESOLUTION IN OUR ROUTING
TABLES OR A STANDARD IPX PACKET TRANSMISSION PROTOCOL WHEN
CREATING REVERSE PTR TABLES FOR DYNAMIC CLASS A IP ADDRESSES
AND MAKE SURE OUR DNS KERNEL HAS THE CORRECT START OF
AUTHORITY RECORD FOR OUR SUBNET MASK WHEN PREPARING PTR
RECORDS FOR LOOPBACK MULTICASTING.
<Intra> exactly amanda
#224 [ + | - ] 1003
[deft-:deft@98A9C369.ipt.aol.com] at least i don't go on aol
#223 [ + | - ] 729
<[azn]> i am valid victorian
#218 [ + | - ] 627
<CrazyDe> man, back when i was in my sexual prime..
<CrazyDe> in the 7th grade...
#217 [ + | - ] 1028
<Amanda`> while(every_girl_except_me == idiot)
<Amanda`> cout << "INFINITE LOOP OF H8" << endl;
#216 [ + | - ] 75
[iMike] zach if you got a bike we could ride up to west
manchester
[iMike] get a kickass one
#205 [ + | - ] 1001
(D1) ignore me
(D1) 9 out of 10 women do.
#204 [ + | - ] 876
(|Chris) i felt boobies tonight!
(McMoo) did they belong to a womang?
#203 [ + | - ] 149
(Guilty) If only shafr was a large negro like the real shaft,
then he could bust into the colo and frighten them