hQDB :: hacker Quote Database

Network Stats: 21102 Approved Quotes | 0 in Moderation Queue
#1380 [ + | - ] 554
[orion] man i had a fucked up dream last night
[orion] i think my maid was fondeling me
[orion] i was being spooned by this chick when she started to
finger my asshole, and i was like "wtf is this shit, get that
outta me, but i couldn't move"
[orion] so then i finally got all grossed out and woke up
[orion] and my asshole felt funny.
(|Chris) you probably fingered your own ass in your sleep
[orion] nah mang, i smelled my fingahs
#1379 [ + | - ] 1464
<studmuffn> ive been to one star trek convention, and i was 14
<studmuffn> it was cool. patrick stewart was there
<studmuffn> they told us not to ask why they cant fix baldness
in the 24th century
#1377 [ + | - ] 455
<TheFlux2k> i just teleport everywhere
<TheFlux2k> walking is for faggots
#1375 [ + | - ] 853
[Fustard] I just walked out into the living room today
[Fustard] and my mom just randomly went
[Fustard] 'the dog has been masturbating too much, ive never
seen it that big'
#1370 [ + | - ] 427
<diz> i remember sticking lightbright pegs in places they
shouldn't go on a girl
#1367 [ + | - ] 281
(_dev) you go get what you want for supper
(_dev) and i will cook it
(Ashley) wings!
(TwinWorkn) Ashley: with dry weave?
(TwinWorkn) for added panty protection?
#1366 [ + | - ] 244
<MadHatter> kids are out of school for now...
<MadHatter> that means 2x the takeovers
#1361 [ + | - ] 180
<immi> i want madonnas pussy
<dr\gonzo> besides you putting your penis inside madonna would
be like you putting your penis out the window
<dr\gonzo> that shit has to be sooooo loose
#1359 [ + | - ] 588
<Starchild> Someone say something clever/interesting/
homoerotic, I'm bored.
*** Starchild was kicked by Defcon (All your base are belong
to gay men. Sex.)
#1356 [ + | - ] 580
<McGrue> You need messageboards?
<Sharkey> Certainly not 'need'. Probably not even want. I just
occasionally have this nagging implacable emptiness that I
think a message board might fill.
<Sharkey> Maybe I just need cock.
#1355 [ + | - ] 1140
<McGrue> The truth, like a penis, sometimes slips out at
inopportune times.
#1354 [ + | - ] 974
<Brentai> I have Q3, but I like playing it about as much as I
like trying to suck my own wang.
<Brentai> i.e. it's painful and futile, but once and a while I
try to do it just to prove that I can. And I can't.
#1353 [ + | - ] 305
<Gayo> I went with purple even though two characters wear
purple and the first city is made entirely of purple
buildings.
<Gayo> Which means that so far the only green is in the little
"occupied" lights above the bedroom doors.
<Sharkey> ... that sounds really familiar for some reason.
Probably reminding me of some retarded childrens program.
<Sharkey> Something where all the people are purple and live
in purple houses and have purple lawns, until mysterious green
men come from the moon and everybody learns the wonders of
ethnic diversity.
<Sharkey> Well slap ma fro! Where da purple woman at? Where da
purple woman at? "Kill the greenie!"
#1352 [ + | - ] 1025
<CyberThor> HIDE THE SHIT, SHARKEY'S HERE!
* Silkenray throws a blanket over Thor
* CyberThor is soothed by the calming, womb-like combination
of warm and dark
#1351 [ + | - ] 467
<slyfox> lol
<slyfox> dude! I typed "lol" with my head!!!
#1350 [ + | - ] 448
<Sharkey> Man, I'm getting flashbacks from Renegade.
Apparently when I was a kid I was so bored I made up little
songs to go with the damned music and now it's all coming back
to me.
<Sharkey> Nothing remarkable, though. Mostly just little
ditties about killing myself.
#1348 [ + | - ] 1053
<Sharkey> Why is it whenever I hear the phrase 'Battered
Women' I think of fried food?
#1346 [ + | - ] 629
* Sakura02 rips Brentai in half and stabs one half with the
other half. >:(
#1345 [ + | - ] 1557
<Orm-Riva> I knew a man who had sex with a helicopter once.
<Illandir> ...
<Orm-Riva> Alright, I didn't, I lied to try to impress you.
#1344 [ + | - ] 924
<Brentai> Do you ever wonder if Japanese people all laugh at
the zany translations they get of American games? "Did you
know that in America, 'Super Flamey Skull Man' is named
'Scorpion'?" "Ha ha! Scorpion!"
<gaspump> "Can you believe they wouldn't even LIKE commuter
train simulators in America!?!"
#1343 [ + | - ] 736
(nexxai) Five seconds later, I'm getting the upside of 15Kv
across the nipples. (These ambulance guys sure know how to
party).
#1341 [ + | - ] 306
<SPD-DMN> i wanna get a 6.5L turbo-diesel and like.. put it
into a honda accord
<SPD-DMN> or is that.. put a honda accord into a 6.5L
turbo-diesel?
#1338 [ + | - ] 738
<Frodo1234> Although it turns out that "non-toxic" isn't
synonomous with "great for snacking" when it comes to toys
<Frodo1234> Even though they say that bubble blowing fluid is
non toxic, apparently you're still not supposed to chug it
#1337 [ + | - ] 933
<Sharkey> Bah. Searching for 'harlequin hentai' on google
turns up my own page at the top of the list.
<Sharkey> This is happening me increasingly often when I go
looking for stuff.
#1335 [ + | - ] 58
<lizx_:#916> i hsaid U becaude i am ficked up
#1332 [ + | - ] 457
<D1> today, I started the supermodel diet.
<maff> that must be a step up from the all sperm diet you were
on
#1331 [ + | - ] 537
<felix> that raid card is gonna saturate that machine
<felix> that's like giving a chihuahua a fire hydrant enema.
#1330 [ + | - ] 165
(fub) I walked into a police station once to pick up some
court papers, and I smoked a joint about 5 blocks away and I
was was sitting in there for awhile and I looked down at my
shoes and the roach was on the front tounge of my shoe ;/
#1328 [ + | - ] 1711
<Brinstar> If it wasn't for C, we'd be using BASI, PASAL and
OBOL.
#1327 [ + | - ] 543
* Cybertrx is 5'3, 198 pounds, ugly, balding, highly skilled
programmer. All my shirts are yellow with cumstains. I am
seeking a tall, gorgeous, stunningly hot babe in her early 20s
with an amazing rack and thick luxurious blond hair. /msg me
#1325 [ + | - ] 836
<immi> a penny for your thoughts
<dr\gonzo> a nickle for anal with your mom
#1324 [ + | - ] 106
<[cut]> fuckin russians made my ftp server crash last night.
somebody from 212.46.194.123 -> ip-583.dialup.cl.spb.ru
<hypr> hahhahwhaw
<[cut]> what the fuck
<[cut]> somebody from romainia tried to steal my leapFTP
bookmark file
<[cut]> (005570) 6/3/2001 12:04:28 AM - 56k (217.13.97.62) >
asked to change directory : 'C:ftpmp3 -> C:ftpmp3C:PROGRAM
FILESLEAPFTP' --> Access denied (No Such Directory).
<[cut]> Resolved 217.13.97.62 to mflorin.soft.forte.ro
<hypr> hahahahahaha
<SysError> cut the foreigners want war with you
<[cut]> i added to my welcome message.. IF ALL OFF YOU
EUROPEAN/ASIAN FOREIGN FUCKS KEEP TRYING TO "HACK" ME. THE
SERVER WILL GO PRIVATE.
#1323 [ + | - ] 1168
<hypr> ¿
<LkTruth1> hypr is confused in Spanish.
#1322 [ + | - ] 536
<MadMAxJr> they should replace /kick with /stab
#1320 [ + | - ] 382
(pervert) roy: get off your "would be heterosexual if i had
enough options to have a preference" ass and go get some :P
#1319 [ + | - ] 184
<DigDug> i have gay fantasies about every guy i meet
<DigDug> i try to take his picture
<DigDug> and then i masturbate to it
<DigDug> i have a whole archive of it on my hard drive
<DigDug> that's why i'm running out of space
<DigDug> not because i download warez
#1317 [ + | - ] 283
~ BigTongue is talking to a 18 year old portuguese chick..
that means she's either gunna give good head or clean my house
nicely
#1314 [ + | - ] 132
<Tektrnica> i got roller blades
<Tektrnica> they have orange on them tho :P
<Tektrnica> fawking raverblades
#1309 [ + | - ] 307
~ TwinWork is craving chinese
(TwinWork) any asian girls in here?
#1308 [ + | - ] 265
<CiXeL> america where a poor black boy can grow up to become a
rich white woman
<CiXeL> michael jackson
#1307 [ + | - ] 237
(tiko-gfx) I'm mkaing my cock dance
(tiko-gfx) right now it's doing the robot
(tiko-gfx) I wonder if I can get it to do the funky chicken
#1306 [ + | - ] 399
(nexxai) holy fuck...I was just reading a ton of IRC quotes,
then got up, and it was like I entered a new dimension
(nexxai) reality.....it's weirder than you think.
#1303 [ + | - ] 85
<Eblan> nirvana smells like teen spirit is on, and i can't
help but headbang to this song
<Eblan> and it dosent feel right with short hair
#1302 [ + | - ] 913
<|Chris> okay...here's one
<|Chris> what's the worst crime you've ever commited?
<Guilty> I once taped a Golden Girls episode with only implyed
oral permission and not expressed written permission
#1301 [ + | - ] 334
<homerj> I'm starting to have a real dislike of vegitarians
<homerj> and their holier then thou attitude
<noxnbox> we should eat them
<ryo-ohki> I bet they'd taste good.
<berzerker> my band has a 6 minute track about hating
vegitarians
<ryo-ohki> Their body is like all meat, with just a little bit
of fat.
<berzerker> and throwing steaks at their face
<homerj> because they must have some sort of rule that they
tell you they are vegetarian like 5 times a day
<homerj> must be in the handbook "when you hvae the desire to
eat meat, tell someone your a vegetarian"
<DigDug> you know, vegetarians are probably kosher too
#1297 [ + | - ] 263
<LkTrout1> I'm getting a GBA from ZD next month.
<LkTrout1> with an unintentional $5 discount on Castlevania
GBA
<LkTrout1> I ordered it before they realized the price goof on
Castlevania.
<SYch0> wow!
<SYch0> five WHOLE dollarS?!
<wild_> thats 2 months salary in korea
#1293 [ + | - ] 829
<l0g1c> Does giving handjobs make you go blind??
<ApOkAliPs> HAHA
<ApOkAliPs> well...
<ApOkAliPs> depends where you aim it...
#1290 [ + | - ] 424
<Wazm> I was photographed in my natural environment today.
<Wazm> some photographers from the admissions office working
on some brochure for UNF took 60 photographs of me programming
#1289 [ + | - ] 1589
<Wazm> I spent the entire day being normal, now that I'm home,
I just want to duct tape fuzzy green pipe cleaners to my head,
turn on the strobe, take off my clothes, and IRC.
#1280 [ + | - ] 443
<disgrunt> New "Britney"'s born in the US every year:  1,483.
<disgrunt> New "Dick Tease"'s born in the US every year:  3.
<disgrunt> That's the funniest shit I've ever seen.
<disgrunt> How would you like to be named Dick Tease?
<fade_> haha
<fade_> well, britney sure is a dick tease
<cout> disgrunt: I'd go by "Richard"