<tress> i have no arms <tress> i have to type by blowing through a straw <tress> i dropped my straw
<defproc> i made a program that crashed once. i put it in my resumé and sent it to microsoft.
<ckx> i wish i had a gf who was into really cheap things <ckx> like 5 cent rings from vending machines <ckx> then i'd be in heaven <ckx> "yah i got you something today... it's a gumball" <ckx> "OH WOW LETS FUCK" <ckx> stupid women <mdl> haha
<metroid23> i ask for whole milk and people look at me like i wanna suck it right off the cow or something
*** C2H5OH has joined #finalfight <MightyQuinn> greetings, Mr. Ethanol <Rico> Mmm... caffeine. <Squizzle> Wow, one of you failed organic chem.
<Zaratustra> Kei is the deity of putting 'in bed' at the end of fortune cookie messages.
<Badforyou> Does anyone know where you can buy large, exceptionally strong plastic bags, fake dog poo, sulphuric acid, aroma therapy candles, and a ten pound dead doberman on the internet? <freekoala> all but the dead dog on amazon.com i bet <freekoala> you could put together your 'amazon.com' wishlist and send it to people. they will wonder about the theme, but keep them wondering.
<ckx> i'm not gay <ckx> i just like to see people fuck <ckx> even if they're guys
<ckx> i get a bunch of scrambled porn <ckx> one time i was jerking off to this channel <ckx> 102 <ckx> and like then i realized it was two guys <ckx> cuz 102 was a gay channel <ckx> 101 was the good hardcore porn <HomerJ> HAW <ckx> but by then i was already into it <ckx> so i didn't change it
<ckx> i hate when i find other people's underwear sitting on my toothbrush in the bathroom <ckx> i fucking clean my mouth with that thing <ckx> i don't want no skank ass panties on top of it at 8 fucking am *** skmt changes topic to '<ckx> i hate when i find other people's underwear sitting on my toothbrush in th' <ckx> yah that's pretty funny <ckx> almost as funny as picking pubic hair out of your teeth
<ckx> when i worked at the sub shop <ckx> whenever a fat person would get a sub and a regular pepsi <ckx> i'd be like "umm wouldn't you rather have a diet pepsi?" <ckx> and they'd get all offended <skmt> haha <ckx> but they'd still get the diet pepsi instead
<iMike> i was just thinking of hiring a man to service my septic system <maff> is that the classy way to say you want to get fucked in the ass?
(timmo) the average testicle is the size of a walnut. [maff] the average walnut tastes better than the average testicle
<peng> Guilty and I never had dealings <Guilty> Remember that time you were lonely and couldnt find any new Brittney porn <peng> which time <Guilty> And I hadnt gotten a haircut in a while so my golden locks were flowing <Guilty> And I happen to have a tight red jumpsuit... <Guilty> And well, you know
<Evil_Kneival> I see. <super`radish> dude <super`radish> stop with the punctuation <Evil_Kneival> Why? <super`radish> because its like putting a rainbow cowboy sticker on your car bumper
<Delusion> I'm reminded of someone I worked with who was about 35 and who dyed a streak of grey in his hair to look 'distinguished'. <Delusion> Instead, he looked 'gay'.
<fastahj7> what's the difference between the usa DC lightgun and the euro one <smcn> the usa one has a "shoot up your school" button
<vermifuge> dude what the f <vermifuge> 256 megs kingston for 20 dollars, shipped <dr\gonzo> FOR LESS THAN A PILL OF ECSTACY YOU CAN HAVE 256MB OF RAM
<qbpsawk> but try saying <qbpsawk> "ID LIKE TO BUY A FAG" in a bar in america <qbpsawk> and you see what happens <qbpsawk> :D <St-Knight> Well if I was the bartender I'd know to give the guy a cigarette. * slow wants to buy a pack of fags <Rivers> i'd like to burn a pack of fags
<JDigital> Speaking of which, did you know that Slashdot.org just changed its name to Gullible? <HoJu> Really?
<mydgear> wow, im listening to the best of dj premiere <mydgear> every beat sounds the same <diagram> kinda like how all blacks look the same
<AlexChiu> Brent: Oh yeah. Well, would you have felt better if I hadn't told you about it and you got hit with a noxious stench upon prying off a girl's dry, crusty panties?
<JDigital> We used to have this kick ass game when we were kids.... <VillainSede> Swallow the chlorine tabs? <VillainSede> that one takes me back..
<Geothermal> Jesus, I can only say so many things about fat people before they become redundant. I think it would help if they all flew to their own personal little island made of gumdrops and then ate themselves to the bottom of the sea like some kind of Atlantis. You know, only really fat.
(JazzSax) tim likes 8 year old girls (JazzSax) he looks sooooo big in their hands. (JazzSax) they like picture books (tiko) rhonda: Think of me more as a childhood educator. (dev-) um, I don't think sex ed lessons aren't supposed to be in the back of a white van
(lo^fi) ok who thinks the "burning schoolhouse" that comes in boxes of fireworks sux ass (tiko) bill: I do (dawly) me too :) (superdave) bill you just have to soak it with gas first
<w3nis> people with down syndrome are all "Hey check us out we have an extra chromosome, weeee, wipe our ass"
(br0kerman) leave him alone (br0kerman) hes more l33t then u (br0kerman) he deserves +o (Skizer) no, he can fuck off (Skizer) he deserves +JEW (br0kerman) why? (Skizer) cause he's a faggot (Skizer) not even +JEW (br0kerman) hahah (Skizer) some jew's are cool (Skizer) he's gay (Skizer) he deserves +SANFRANCISCO cause he's a flaming faggot
<studmuffn> one day i will find a way to implant annoying songs in other peoples heads <studmuffn> it will be my supervillian power
*** Quits: ZiGgA (Ping timeout: 240 seconds) <ZiGgA> help me.. <ZiGgA> i think i am being packetted! <ZiGgA> my receive light is on fulltime!
(e-city) why do they rip trance as one huge mp3???? (Graeme) 'cos it's mixed, and the gaps you'd get in winamp would spoil your ecstasy trip
<nexxai> man, I love having hookups <MTrez> found someone who works in an abnormally large dildo factory?
<mrmanic> Stacy, are you what they call a "hottie"? <StacySHWR> hhaha <StacySHWR> i'm 17 :P <mrmanic> Oh. <mrmanic> So you're what they call "Jailbait"?
<drgonzo> fuck linux <drgonzo> that's the OS for people that don't wear deodorant
<steef> i feel sorry for kids today, when they reminisce on their childhood, they will have songs by britney spears and backstreet boys
<MrP-> i have pillows shipped UPS so when i get them they are already pre pounded and fluffy
*** collusion is now known as CmdrTaco <_vulture> OMG <_vulture> CmdrTaco I kick your ass <CmdrTaco> i shutdown slashdot <CmdrTaco> i realized its a piece of shit <_vulture> mandrake hates slashdot too <CmdrTaco> im gonna go cry cuz i hate M$$$$ <CmdrTaco> somebody cheer me up and send me a kernel to compile
* AaronWL licks jwilbur seductively. <jwilbur> AaronWL: rawr, you're a frisky one. Too bad you're on AOL, I might catch something
* NtG puts on his glasses with lenses thicker than the glass on the popemobile <NtG> the contact lens version is only good if you can fit half a tennis ball in your eye socket
<NtG> now if only people would swallow their syringes <NtG> im sick of stepping on them
<`TiGgEr`> fuck u need a dvd drive to rip dvd's thats what the program says <`TiGgEr`> alls ya want is to put a rented dvd in to ripp it and watch it later but no u need the fuckn dvd drive
<aorie> shit slashdot STILL down <MrP-> yeah, im crying now <MrP-> whats wrong with it? <aorie> this sucks <aorie> this totally fucked up my day heh <MrP-> me too <MrP-> some girl asked me if i wanted to have sex with her all day, but i said "after i read slashdot" <MrP-> GOD DAMNIT!