hQDB :: hacker Quote Database

Network Stats: 21102 Approved Quotes | 0 in Moderation Queue
#3589 [ + | - ] 361
e l i t e m r p: you think you're so smart cause you go to
"school"
#3588 [ + | - ] 346
*** da-guvnor (~tonto@pc2-stoc4-0-cust224.mid.cable.ntl.com)
Quit (If girls are made of sugar & spice......why do they
taste of fish.)
#3587 [ + | - ] 337
<cheezwiz> anybody know how to have WarCraft 3 run off of a
bnetd server??
<eldee> cheezwiz: yeah
<cheezwiz> eldee
<cheezwiz> really?
<eldee> cheezwiz: yeah! first, become a beta tester. then
they'll give you a serial number you can use. its hella easy
after that. you just hit connect
<cheezwiz> eldee:wow u didn't help at all
<eldee> cheezwiz: cool. mission accomplished
#3584 [ + | - ] 268
MrProgrmmr: I want to encode my sperms DNA with the DeCSS
code, that way when I jack off, I'd be breaking the law
#3582 [ + | - ] 442
<duk0r> Don't forget kids, the faster you download the bigger
your penis is.
#3581 [ + | - ] 266
<Slant> In the process of arguing for chinese food
<Slant> I appear to have slipped my guilt in .. err ..
inability to cook food.
<Slant> If it reaches the complexity of boiling water, I don't
have the attention span.
<Slant> As such, we have had a few vict.. err .. accidents
around the house.
<Slant> So it looks like I'll be eating ramen tonight. Worse,
I'll be eating it carefully monitored.
#3580 [ + | - ] 358
<Slant> Easy way to figure out which episodes Slant likes:
<Slant> for x in StarTrek.Episodes[]
<Slant> if (x.liked_by_everyone)
<Slant> Slant.hates_episode[x] = TRUE;
<Slant> else
<Slant> Slant.likes_episode[x] = FALSE;
<Slant> no wait.
<mightyflo> hahahahahahahaha
<Slant> Slant.hates_episode[x] = FALSE;
<animegoth> lol
<FutabaAoi> so you hate all of tng!
<mightyflo> it's funny when you can debug someone's real life
code
#3579 [ + | - ] 262
<Slant> The problem with having gone this long without
whacking
<Slant> is that I have no quality pr0n in which to celebrate
the occasion
<Slant> that now I can whack
<Slant> and thus I feel the "moment" isn't right
#3578 [ + | - ] 603
<myzery> MIAMI -- An 81-year-old woman who arrived in court
Thursday in a wheelchair plotted to smuggle 9,931 doses of
Ecstasy in her luggage on a flight from London, authorities
said.
<matts> hahah
<[prefix]> haha
<matts> What a doofus
<skycriesx> whered u read that
<myzery> the onion
#3577 [ + | - ] 272
<Corranfox> GF?
<metroid23> you'll get it eventually...
<Corranfox> guitar freaks
<blazemore> it's not like it'd stand for girl friend.. this IS
#bemani after all
#3576 [ + | - ] 505
* RedBull has returned.. I degaussed my girlfriend and I'm
just not attracted to her anymore.
#3575 [ + | - ] 188
<jstepka> perl is the kryptonite of the computer science world
<pagan> if stepka looks at it his penis shrivles up
<pagan> and he gets weak
<pagan> =)
<jstepka> hell yeah
#3572 [ + | - ] 297
*** Villager has joined #akpcep
<Villager> damn AOL
<Joshua> ...
<Alexander> hi vill
<Joshua> jesus shit!
<Joshua> you ARE using AOL!
<Joshua> i thought you were joking...
#3570 [ + | - ] 1508
*** d6|GaiaN has joined #lesbians
<d6|GaiaN> lol
<d6|GaiaN> EVERYONE OF YOU ARE GUYS AND I KNOW IT
#3568 [ + | - ] 182
<KoS-> what the hell is a civic hx?
<matts> hx =hax0red
#3566 [ + | - ] 72
<DMC[tiky]> talon: also can we discuss your choice of
hairstyles?
<DMC[tiky]> talon: the nappy-hair crackhead washed up movie
star shoulder legth hair cut is sooo not in.
#3565 [ + | - ] 61
<DMC[tiky]> talon: and dont get me started on your little
"provicative" look in the bottom of the picture
<DMC[tiky]> look like someone put ginger ale in your vagina
and you are like 'you silly little kitten'
*** DMC[tiky] was kicked by _Talon_ (God, you are so annoying)
*** DMC[tiky] (hi@pcp800792pcs.nrockv01.md.comcast.net) has
joined
<DMC[tiky]> haha
<DMC[tiky]> talon is frustrated with my dmc face
#3563 [ + | - ] 576
<Slant> Maybe I'll be able to ignore my GOD DAMN NEED TO HUMP
ANYTHING HUMAN AND FEMALE
<Slant> ANYTHING
<Zor-SLEEP> i feel for your sisters.
#3561 [ + | - ] 346
<mightyflo> they need to make a car washing sim
<nitrifik_> I'd play it.
<FE2work> what r u a spic ?
<blazemore> haha
<blazemore> would you like to buy a vowel?
<blazemore> or even a whole word
#3560 [ + | - ] 446
<evilbadz> can i show you my function?
<DAL9000> never on a first date.
#3559 [ + | - ] 326
<Geothermal> "<Sphlynxo> Watch your mouth, son." what the hell
was that
<Geothermal> he better be joking
<Geothermal> 'cause this is fucking finalfight
<Kazz-readin> Yeah.  Fight the power!
<dregan> Where the men are men, the women are women, the sheep
are scared, and the preteen girls are 40-year-old men!
#3557 [ + | - ] 208
<mightyflo> and "what technologies do you like working with
best?"
<mightyflo> that's an odd question
<redbatszu> dusteating nanobots?
<mightyflo> i should hook those up to the x10 remote
<mightyflo> i could clean the house from my chair
#3556 [ + | - ] 303
<IceHeartX> we had geekporn.com like, years ago
<IceHeartX> we gave it up 'cause we didn't actually have any
hot geeks
#3554 [ + | - ] 952
<@Dark_un> is there an actual term for banks lending out
money?
<@bytraper> loan
<@Dark_un> i was thinking of the process
<@incorrect> scam
#3552 [ + | - ] 291
<DAL9000> he prolly cried and then shot himself in the head 14
times
<Wronski> DAL9000: I think it would be rather difficult to
shoot yourself in the head 14 times.
<DAL9000> Wronski: think about it.
<DAL9000> if he's stupid enough to use an imac and need help
<DAL9000> then he's prolly not using very much of his brain
<natescape> b'sides, they say we only use 10% of our brain
most of the time anyway
<natescape> his 10% was probably located closer to his ass....
#3551 [ + | - ] 139
<GiRLiE> hey it was funny the doc asked me if I have blood in
my urine
<GiRLiE> thought of u
#3550 [ + | - ] 52
<PowrSlave> dude once i got an altoid stuck up my gf's pussy
<PowrSlave> and everytime i tried to fish it out with my
tongue it went further up.  and she said it burned her hahaa
#3547 [ + | - ] 232
<sQuEeDeN> <applet code="filename.jar"></applet>
<duckman> <monkey sex="now"></monkey>
<sQuEeDeN> <duckman sex="none" orientation="unknown"></
duckman>
#3539 [ + | - ] 1083
<craig> i'm sorry, i should've remembered that many people are
pedanic here
<Crappy> it's pedantic
#3535 [ + | - ] 255
<ScumDog> I never treat women as members of the opposite sex,
Tanya.
#3532 [ + | - ] 61
<blazemore> indian, asian.. same difference, they both end
with "ian"
#3526 [ + | - ] 823
<Korben> tits
<darkraZor> yes, tits
<Soopa> i agree
<darkraZor> ...indeed
#3524 [ + | - ] 4598
<Ouroboros> Has anyone ever logged into dev0n's FTP?
<Affe> ouro: that some kind of sexual innuendo?
<xpander> is that a euphemism?
<Ouroboros> Possibly
<Ouroboros> Shhh
<Ouroboros> I try to be subtle about these things.
<Affe> in that case, i 'log into dev0ns ftp' all the time
<Ouroboros> Yeah, she gave me her "login" but she won't reply
to my "/msgs"
<Affe> dude i had 'sex' with her in the 'butt' the other day
<Affe> oh wait
<Affe> we're being subtle
#3523 [ + | - ] 350
<JFalcon> sex is too much work... and the customers always
complain.
#3510 [ + | - ] 353
<Demamas> RAWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWR! *explodes*
<Nyphur> BAD! NO BONE FOR Demamas! BACK IN YOUR CAGE !!
*** Signoff: Demamas (Ping timeout)
<Nyphur> oops
<Nyphur> I forgot I left his cage off the server
#3509 [ + | - ] 284
<Rasputin> Episode 1 rocked!!!!!
<Rasputin> Let me rephrase.
<Rasputin> The trailer for Episode 1 ROCKED!!!!
#3502 [ + | - ] 389
<Butters> this girl I'm talking to on AIM just tried out her
new "pink panther"
<chowda> Butters: I'm sure "she" did :)
#3500 [ + | - ] 390
<bdi> if you lookin' for sympathy, you better look between R
and T in the fucking dictionary
#3498 [ + | - ] 243
<stack> if($want == "illegal") connect(efnet);
#3487 [ + | - ] 61
<]Di[ein> seriously..... imma put 2x turbos....nos....air
intake...... get that pos lowered even though it is already
lowered
<]Di[ein> get some 5's
<]Di[ein> (it has go cart wheels)
<Vandium> A FESTIVA
<Vandium> ROFL!
<]Di[ein> the only car in the world where u get a buy one get
one free deal!
#3485 [ + | - ] 306
<DrWoody> alcohol is my anti-drug.
#3483 [ + | - ] 775
<Darksyde> dood you make texas look like a big dildo
<blazemore> i'd rather be a big dildo than a small dildo
<blazemore> especially the kind the secretes fake jizz that
tastes like oranges
<Geek-> lol
<Geek-> how would you know about that shit?
* blazemore is away
#3474 [ + | - ] 318
<@Catgirl> The three stages of Catgirl hating: #1) "FUCK YOU
I'M RIGHT YOU'RE WRONG" #2) "FUCK YOU I BET YOU'RE NOT A GIRL"
#3) "FUCK YOU" *ban* PM: "I'd like to fuck you."
#3469 [ + | - ] 273
<blazemore> Windows XP Professional Uptime: 4wks 4hrs 55secs
<blazemore> time to reboot
<ScumDog> that's so retarded
<mandarin> heh...uptime is sad
<mandarin> more sad is most *nix nerds have longer uptime
records than relationship records ;)
<mightyflo> Relationship OSR2 Sexual Uptime: 2wks 6hrs 12secs
#3465 [ + | - ] 432
<f9|war3beta> These Mint Skittles taste like shit.
<Brentai> MINT SKITTLES?
<JDigital> f9: Tell me about it. Over here, we call the green
ones "Excre-mint".
<JDigital> Alternatively known as "New car smell" flavour.
#3464 [ + | - ] 200
<Object> i'm good for 15 minutes
<sh0> Object, 15 minutes ?!
<sh0> you better have a lot of cash to keep yo bitch loyal
#3460 [ + | - ] 525
<agrath> I banned him cause he pointed out i was a virgin
#3457 [ + | - ] 1025
<Legatic> How can you think you matter when your URL has a
tilde in it?
#3456 [ + | - ] 346
<jstepka-w> she said to me 'we need a few months off'
<Flav> "a few months?  sweet, that'll let me run through the
bitches on my TODO list"
#3454 [ + | - ] 401
<Mike> ARGH SHIT
<Mike> Ive been on the internet for ALMOST 3 HOURS
<Mike> SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSHITE
<Mike> BIG HUGE PHONE BILL
<Mike> bye bye everyone
*** Mike (~M@194.165.170.168) Quit (Quit: Mike is Gone, Nobody
Noticed)
<Jumper> heh
<Jumper> "phone"