hQDB :: hacker Quote Database

Network Stats: 21103 Approved Quotes | 0 in Moderation Queue
#3908 [ + | - ] 866
*** Jei-Dijitaru has quit IRC (Do we really need warnings that
the lead in paint will kill you? Keep in mind that these
people have already made a conscious decision to CONSUME
PAINT.)
#3905 [ + | - ] 259
<Rbrt> i have decided to file for a divorce
<nharris> Rbrt.. wise move
<Rbrt> yepp neil
<closedown> did you just have a kid?
<Rbrt> yes i did
<nharris> my brother's inlaws are DICKS.. except his bro in
law..he's cool
<Rbrt> the kid doesnt change the fact that she's a psycho
<closedown> ah
<closedown> my gf's trying to hint at marriage
<closedown> that would surely cut into my irc time
#3902 [ + | - ] 880
<+Tre> how do I get girls to have sex with me?
<+sp00n> show them software you have written..woman go wild
for that kind of stuff
<+Tre> for real? how should i show them? do I carry my laptop
around and show random woman??
#3898 [ + | - ] 983
*** opinion (ED@blahblahblah.bla) has joined #bemani
<opinion> hey guys
<opinion> WHY DONT YOU VOICE YOUR OPINION
*** ScumDog sets mode: +v opinion
#3894 [ + | - ] 164
<gc> it would take approximatly 40 286's to equals the power
of your average 1 GHz desktop
<cabbage> um, where did you pull that crap from?
<gc> do the math
<cabbage> haha
<ian> what math
<_gene> well you know .. THE math ;)
<jwzrd-> gc: are you adding clockspeed here ?
<gc> no its the cache,
#3893 [ + | - ] 611
<elliptic> does any1 else name their member set/get functions
with "Please" in the end?
#3891 [ + | - ] 812
(|Chris) it's the gift that keeps on giving
(Amanda`) Herpes?
#3888 [ + | - ] 285
<nitrifik_> wtf? that's blazemore? he looks 12!
<P2E> maybe that's why he has so much porn
#3887 [ + | - ] 229
<KNG_SNK> ok i was at work today
<KNG_SNK> and two ppl were missing...
<KNG_SNK> and this guy's office was locked
<KNG_SNK> but i knew there was someone in there... VERY quiet
too
<KNG_SNK> so me and some buds went over to the next building
<KNG_SNK> to try to peek in
<KNG_SNK> and man... they were goin at it
<KNG_SNK> but we could clearly see humping action
#3885 [ + | - ] 216
<ScumDog> I don't think the act itself is sick, though.
They're going to have sex with someone, it might as well be
me.
#3883 [ + | - ] 64
<baras> who can help me to find job in holland, maybe in farm?
pls
#3880 [ + | - ] 511
<drano> i need to go to sleep soon, i was late for school this
morning
<Wyatt> being late rules.
<furandfx> periods
<furandfx> the only place being late does not rule
#3878 [ + | - ] 370
<nARcOtIC]> any of u know someone witha f ast internet
connection?
<[ric]> me, suppa fast... so fast I can't even see the packets
go by when I open the modem up
<nARcOtIC]> how fast is it?
<[ric]> so fast I can't even explain it
<nARcOtIC]> right
<[ric]> so fast that by the time I try and upload something it
was uploaded 10 minutes earlier
<[ric]> stunningly fast, it is..
#3877 [ + | - ] 183
<MadScribe> it's called working for a growing company
<Soopa> work on my growing cock!
* Soopa has a way with words
<toNe> and a way with cocks
<Soopa> yeah that too
#3876 [ + | - ] 295
<Infe> damn, i hate buying a computer part, you always see a
better deal the next day
<AlmtyBob> not me
<ryo-ohki> Just steal stuff, and you won't have that problem.
<Infe> but then they buy something newer and better to replace
what you stole
<Infe> and you have to steal again!
#3874 [ + | - ] 675
<Hostile> And now that i think of it, the west coast should be
all renamed to the wastelands
<Scofco> It should be renamed to the east coast
<Scofco> then we would have 2 east coasts
<Scofco> it would rid gang violence
<Scofco> end the east coast / west coast struggle
<Scofco> with a simple name change
<Scofco> I AM THE SMARTEST MAN ALIVE
<Hostile> AGREED
#3873 [ + | - ] 467
<Scofco> I wish I invented Jesus
#3872 [ + | - ] 237
<poste> no, i know this chick with awesome big boobs...2
actually
<rox-work> 2 awesome big boobs?
<rox-work> i should hope so
<matthardy> like one boob on a chest, is like kinda funky and
wrong
<spazzer> nah, poste is confused
<spazzer> the chick has one huge uniboob
<matthardy> spazz: ahaha uniboob
<spazzer> and a unibrow to match
#3871 [ + | - ] 197
<crapple> i'd fuck a man for a gay.com vhost
#3870 [ + | - ] 570
<thunderka> somebody speak spanish?
<Suriv> i do
<thunderka> you do what?
#3869 [ + | - ] 216
<Hoosier55> does anyone know where i can get a modchip
installed cuz i hate to solder does best buy do it?
#3868 [ + | - ] 1086
<Wodan> hi wich langage do u spieak?
<moonsee> heh
<moonsee> apparently not yours
#3864 [ + | - ] 51
<ScumDog> I think the coathangers might have something to do
with all those, ahem, "random" miscarriages
<shin_k> scum : THAT'S JUST STRAWBERRY JAM ON THE COAT HANGER,
REALLY!
#3858 [ + | - ] 785
<TURBOMEAT> my car caught fire.
<TURBOMEAT> I tried to flick a cigarette out the window
<TURBOMEAT> and it was only like 1/4 down
<TURBOMEAT> so it bounced off the window and went under the
seat
<TURBOMEAT> 2 streets later there was smoke billowing out from
under me
<TURBOMEAT> it landed on some paper
<TURBOMEAT> then started to burn the material under the seat
<TURBOMEAT> I wish someone had TOLD me smoking could be
hazardous
#3857 [ + | - ] 261
<Hiko> "all the people in #bemani are child molesters"
<nitrifik_> I'm not.
<mightyflo> not according to swedish law, anyway
<nitrifik_> exactly.
<nitrifik_> I have never sexed anyone below 15, so I'm all
legal.
#3855 [ + | - ] 353
<imsoemo> i should sell information on how to join irc on ebay
<imsoemo> FOR ONLY $3 I WILL SHOW YOU HOW TO TALK TO MORE
ARROGANT ASSHOLES THAN YOU EVER DREAMED
<CaliburX> Just make it sound complicated and expensive
<CaliburX> Have you ever wanted to talk with other
sophisticated beings like yourself for free on your own
personal computer? With this 42 step guide your dreams will
become a reality and your life will be forever enjoyable.
<CaliburX> Only $99.99 plus shipping and handling
#3852 [ + | - ] 1170
<Hendrix> Its fun to go out in the cold weather and watch
smokers pass out becuse they dont know when they're done
exhaling
#3851 [ + | - ] 293
<shin_k> rez is great though
<shin_k> just because of how insane it is visually
<shin_k> and w/ a great sound system it will make you CRAP
YOUR PANTS
<TURBOMEAT> I don't think I've flat out crapped my pants yet
<TURBOMEAT> but there may have been some subtle fecal leakage,
yes
#3849 [ + | - ] 288
<DMC[tiky]> the word rocks is funny to me, cause when i was a
little kid in fox chapel, my friends brother told him GO SUCK
ON A ROCK, so he did, and everyone crowded around him and
watched him suck on this rock for like 10 minutes.............
#3848 [ + | - ] 204
<zedebsky> Coughing sucks, but does get you higher :)
<tonic4> zedebsky, coughing opens up parts of your lungs that
usually don't get in air, in the case of smoking, smoke, so
thats how it gets you higher
<latez> lol
<latez> we've got a medic
#3846 [ + | - ] 404
<d1cer> omfg
<d1cer> i just shit the bigest shit in the world
<d1cer> :/
<d1cer> it was like a fucking legg
<LivinDead> lol
<LivinDead> how big was it?
<d1cer> umm
<d1cer> k
<d1cer> hold on leme get my ruler
#3842 [ + | - ] 233
<Ash> Op me so hard.
#3841 [ + | - ] 213
[17:23:28] [Synoptica] I AM GOING TO TAKE A SHIT NOW EVERYONE
[17:29:32] [Xta-C    ] COOL!
[17:30:13] [Synoptica] jesus christ i dont remember eating
chili
#3840 [ + | - ] 663
[neckarse] well berret tesratr
[neckarse] wtf.. somone swapped my r and t...
#3838 [ + | - ] 604
<NeonId> general- Internet talk isn't even worth of being
called a dialect.  It's a mutilation of language, and we are
the people who have to compensate for it's brazen idiocy.
<Potato> I'd even say it bites.
<JDigital> lol kthx
#3837 [ + | - ] 347
<Slant> dpkg -i kernel-image-2.4.18_kami.1.0_i386.deb
<Sam|foo> ok
<Slant> ok, reboot.
<Sam|foo> brb
* Slant nods.
<-- Sam|foo has quit (QUIT: User exited)
<FlipTopBox> sucka.  he's doomed, isn't he.
#3835 [ + | - ] 694
<Rajio> my friend's such a bastard, he wouldn't let me get my
quarter's worth with VF4, challenged me just for the sake of
beating me :P then he did the same with tekken, but then i
wipped paul out and owned his ass :P
<toNe> Rajio: paul? is that like a nickname for it?
#3834 [ + | - ] 563
<dot> *shrug*
<dot> i know most references
<dot> because i am ... whats that word?
<dot> i know stuff
#3833 [ + | - ] 152
<Sylffor> The Legend of Zelda for the NES had replay value
with the Second Quest.
<TURBOMEAT> by that logic, every single game with Randomly
Generated Dungeons has infinite replay value
<nitrifik_> I don't even think those have one-play value :o
#3831 [ + | - ] 71
<Rairu> I'd rather play mvc2 and smoke chronic than get head
#3830 [ + | - ] 377
<ScumDog> the mom-look is sexy though
<ScumDog> don't take it wrong
<nitrifik> ScumDog: what weird fetish do you NOT possess dude?
#3828 [ + | - ] 934
<Sylffor> I prefer "blood-engorged mayonaisse cannon" or
"yogurt slinger"
<nitrifik_> ok. Sylffor knows too many colorful synonyms for
'dick'.
* Sylffor is a homosexual, remember?
<nitrifik_> you being gay is fine.
<nitrifik_> I draw the line at "blood-engorged mayonaisse
cannon".
#3817 [ + | - ] 328
<JackDaiLo> i need to learn how to sing chinese angry music
#3812 [ + | - ] 192
ù MrP- slaps AlterAFK around a bit with his slapping thingy
#3810 [ + | - ] 516
<Scofco> i used to have wet dreams about carmen sandiego
#3809 [ + | - ] 331
<Scofco> whenever I get a hardon
<Scofco> I pass out
<Scofco> well, I actually faint
<Scofco> because the idea of getting laid shocks me
#3807 [ + | - ] 526
[bytraper] they are my family.... I love them like they were
my own, I couldn't part with them for less than $20
#3806 [ + | - ] 325
*** Parts: GiRLiE (~girlie@144.139.91.234)
* Xta-C sets mode: -stupid
#3800 [ + | - ] 343
<JibberJim> what should happen to your webpages if you drop
dead?
<Jumper> is this a trick question ?
#3794 [ + | - ] 674
<kalani> Today a young man on acid realized that all matter is
merely energy condensed into a slow vibration, that we are all
one consciousness experiencing itself subjectively, there is
no such thing as death life is only a dream and we're the
imagination of ourselves...Here's Tom with the weather.