hQDB :: hacker Quote Database

Network Stats: 21103 Approved Quotes | 0 in Moderation Queue
#4152 [ + | - ] 177
<boozie> AnIonU: if i washed my dick would you suck it?
<AnIonU> bbozie: if you washed your dick you would realize
that it was only dirt...no dick
#4151 [ + | - ] 142
<BucWork> dude; 2pac isn't dead
<BucWork> he is in Europe
<BucWork> my dad works for the fbi
#4150 [ + | - ] 458
<Raiden> my cats used to lick my penis if I slept naked...
<Raiden> I had 5 cats...that was uber
#4143 [ + | - ] 589
<uneasier> would it be out of line if i were to request that
my testes be softly nestled within your food receptacle?
<Jan__> mmm braized testicle
<Jan__> with a nice bottle of chianti
<Jan__> fthfthfthfthfthfthfth!
* uneasier runs away
#4140 [ + | - ] 266
<uneasier> [ric], a student has to make money.. the pay was
good and it wasnt nearly as degrading as you would think
<[ric]> uneasier: I realise, but think how the chickens felt?
<uneasier> they were heavily drugged
<[ric]> I am sure there is some bad joke in this about
chickens eating seed, but let's just leave it at that
#4134 [ + | - ] 378
<Scofco> just because i like hairless chicks with small tits,
and that are younger than me, does not make me a pedophile
<Scofco> it makes me borderline pedophile
#4133 [ + | - ] 478
<TURBOMEAT> arguing over musical taste is pointless, really
<ScumDog> pretty much
<TURBOMEAT> it's subjective
<mightyflo> not when you have ops. :)
#4131 [ + | - ] 686
<prence> o
<prence> h
<prence> m
<prence> y
<prence> g
<prence> o
<prence> d
<prence> i was supposed to be cleaning the bathroom, and i was
in there and was like fuck it, ill shave my balls, so i was
shaving away, i had my penis stretched out so i could get the
hard to reach hairs
<prence> and my mom came in, and saw me, and was like oh im
sorry and left!@##@!#@!#@!#@!  she thought i was just cleaning
the bathroom, but I was shaving and now i cant look her in the
face, fizuck
#4130 [ + | - ] 109
<djazonic> tiko: do you know how to setup a win2k's telnet
server?
<JediPimp> djazonic: format c: ; <insert linux CD>
#4129 [ + | - ] 238
<SilverJag> babyd did you get any play yet?
<eldee> babyd gets as much play as my atari
#4125 [ + | - ] 189
<Scofco> my anus is itchy, and i can't scratch it, because
then my hand would smell like ass
#4123 [ + | - ] 439
<HA[OffDay]Dima> one thing i learned though, never let my gf
play GTA3, cause afterward she was tryin to play it IRL
<HA[OffDay]Dima> i thought i was gonna die on the way home
#4119 [ + | - ] 110
* TpS has returned, cleaning shit stains off my panties.
[gone:3h28m12s]
<BDawkins> party on
<Yourname> my my! you've been cleaning panties for 3 hours!!!
<Yourname> lol
<sycon> heh
<TpS> the stains were really bad
#4118 [ + | - ] 241
<orange1> i think i got it figured out.
<orange1> instead of giving users a long explanation on why it
won't work when they uplaod a file named "what? me worry?.doc"
to their web space, we can just give them the message "this
file will not work. if you read the documentation, you would
know why"
#4113 [ + | - ] 339
[madwoota ] stupid fucking bullshit auto aiming lock on
bullshit mouse aim at guy not where hes runnign crap fuckoff
cunt lick my balls 99% miss rate guys 2 metres away with a
perfect head shot and misses fuckoff game
#4111 [ + | - ] 55
<JackTaiwn> damn u english speakers >_<
#4110 [ + | - ] 500
<Ouroboros> Tang is as good as sex.
<ruiner> my sex isn't powdery and orange
#4109 [ + | - ] 47
*** williard (~buttertop@sdn-ar-003njnbruP070.dialsprint.net)
has joined #oscars
<williard> this channel should win a award for being so lame
#4108 [ + | - ] 284
<reaper> I'm not racist I have colour TV :/
#4105 [ + | - ] 555
* dodgearse learns to need how to say somthing before thinking
of it
[dodgearse] wow... that dont sound right
* dodgearse needs to learn to think about what hes going to
say before saying it...
#4102 [ + | - ] 298
<FlipTopBox> Concatenate?
<mightyflo> its something sexual
<FlipTopBox> Concatenate can be sexual, baby.
<mightyflo> its something sexual to someone who hasn't taken a
programming class
#4099 [ + | - ] 379
(ALF) KMFDM: you havent blown your load in so long, the next
bitch will prolly have to chew before she swallows
#4098 [ + | - ] 299
<akh76> Hello, I'm "an ki hong" from Korea.
<akh76> I want to know The reason Why I'm ven
<akh76> I'm lacks a Knowledge of  irc
<akh76> Thank you and I hope to get your reply back soon.
#4097 [ + | - ] 226
<[ric]> pfft... oh, well when I am dead my gravestone will
simply read..  http://www.geekissues.org/quotes/?search=
%5Bric%5D
#4087 [ + | - ] 307
<boxed> I still have the marks of her nails on my back I think
:P
<jwzrd-> boxed: ahahahahah
<jwzrd-> boxed: I get marks on my chest :)
<boxed> well, that happens too
<jwzrd-> boxed++
<nightfal> I bruised my right nipple while I was sleeping 3
nights ago
#4084 [ + | - ] 346
<nightfal:#java> damn, this quotedb gets funnier as a function
of sleep loss
#4083 [ + | - ] 251
<[ric]> puddy.. but I need to live on the internet... without
p0rn I would forget what a naked woman looks like!
<[ric]> I know there are those magazine things, but hey I keep
clicking [next] and the pages don't turn!
<winmutt> ric thats scares me
* winmutt looks ric up on the sexual offender listings
<[ric]> what scares me more is that it will end up in
geekQuotes... (again.. sigh!)
<[ric]> what I would like to know is how come all my
inspirational leaps of genius, stunning breakthroughs in code
or precise observational musings don't end up in geekQuotes,
just the ones that make me look like some drunken, banter
merchant, goth obsessed nutter seem to make it!
* [ric] looks squarely in Jumper's direction, and taps his
foot...
#4082 [ + | - ] 391
<[ric]> Jim, tsk, tsk... you're getting as bad as me :)
<JibberJim> Eh, I've never been unnatural with a goat.
<[ric]> jim... ok, almost as bad as me
#4080 [ + | - ] 447
<ar5WRK> Is it fucked up, to like, when she was sleeping, jerk
off on her so when she would wake up she would have a mound of
jizz on her body some where?
<ar5WRK> Not like i ever did that.
<ar5WRK> Just wanting to know...
<ar5WRK> ...
#4078 [ + | - ] 956
<Mukluk> My lungs hold 650 cubic cenimeters of air. :P
<Mukluk> I know this because it was measured by a doctor. :P
<fRy-> WHAT THE FUCK? :P
<Mukluk> I was told that that's an extremely high capacity. :P
<Mukluk> I could fucking beat all of you to death. :P
<DeadRinga> with your lungs?
<z0rg> Mukluk hahahah
<Mukluk> Laugh all you like, little-lung. :P
#4077 [ + | - ] 201
<BombScare> i need to get my eyes lasered
<eldee> ditto.. 2k per eye though
<eldee> i'm saving my money for something i wont take for
granted though :)
<enos> i don't trust that eye laser surgery yet
<enos> it'd be sweet tho to not need glasses or contacts
<BombScare> i have an aunt that had it done, she loves it
<BombScare> like 20 seconds and you can see
<eldee> BombScare: damn.. i dont even think jesus was that
fast
<eldee> god bless america!
<eldee> or something
<BombScare> hah
#4076 [ + | - ] 398
*** BlackDeth (xxdethxx@res135a-026.rh.rit.edu) has joined #
snogs
<tyne> uh
<tyne> who are u?
<matts> BlackDeth on #snogs @#songs
<BlackDeth> hypr told me to do it
<BlackDeth> i dont know how well you guys know him
<BlackDeth> but you probably realize he isn't the greatest
typer/speller!
<matts> HAHAHA
<hypr> shut up flamer
<BlackDeth> so i joined #songs first when he said #snogs
#4075 [ + | - ] 702
<Zooropa> :B
<Lynkx> you have an ass on your chin
#4070 [ + | - ] 98
<[ric]> uneasier, 2 line taskbar is XP default
<[ric]> and if you have like 20+ windows open at once and the
quicklaunch active in nt/9x/2k/me then it is necessary
<uneasier> i never knew.. god has reached down from the
heavens and stuck his omniscient thumb u my ass
<[ric]> hmm... do you feel discomfort in any way?
<uneasier> no i feel big
<uneasier> and shiny
<[ric]> like stretched and stuff?
<uneasier> no, sort of waterlogged
#4068 [ + | - ] 251
<K34R> im not one of these grey haired freaks who flies
bitches from out of state then keeps them in a shed
<K34R> but i will be one day <3
#4065 [ + | - ] 213
<Mazroth> ya vodka is potato water, thats why everyone in
russia drinks it
<Mazroth> too many potatoes there
<Mazroth> They have it at mcdonalds, heh
<Mazroth> in fountains.
<Mazroth> big mac, large fry, and supersized vodka
#4064 [ + | - ] 697
<FreshBrew> i dont know why i floss before i go to the dentist
<FreshBrew> i never ever do it
<FreshBrew> its like going to the doctor and pretending not to
be sick so he doesnt yell at you
#4062 [ + | - ] 530
<DigDug> <nowakow> does anyone want to teach a horny female to
masturbate to orgasm?
<DigDug> Approve Kill Nothing
<orion> kill;
<jestuh> kill
<jestuh> if she's horny she knows what to do
#4061 [ + | - ] 200
(@Jumper): I've been to LegoLand
(@Jumper): I've actually been drunk in LegoLand !
(@Jumper): We had a huge company party in the Lego Castle
(+offwYtE): drink out of lego cups
([ric]): lagerland... sure that wasn't where you were Jumper?
#4056 [ + | - ] 287
([ric]): see if you were scared in legoland, would you shit
lego bricks?
#4054 [ + | - ] 303
<conio> 99% of all americans SUCK
<poon> conio: i guess that leaves Monica Lewinsky in the
remaining 1% that blows?
#4050 [ + | - ] 112
<dean`> LunaRain: i can rape myself any time without going to
prison
#4044 [ + | - ] 273
<[Shinji]> Statitics say that 85% of College men mastrubate at
least once per day.   Hmmm... I'm about due....  I'll be back
in 10..
#4043 [ + | - ] 71
<TALLC00L1> Why do dogs lick their dicks? cuz they can't make
a fist
#4040 [ + | - ] 40
<TYRESE> Does anybody know how it feels to have a faggot bug u
on the internet????
#4039 [ + | - ] 635
<kapusta> Slut: a woman that fucks everyone. Bitch: a woman
that fucks everyone but you...
#4037 [ + | - ] 38
<ftstjohn_> 6" long and 4 1/2" thick bald penis
<ftstjohn_> looking for a girl to watch me masterbate in real
life
#4036 [ + | - ] 968
<Tragician> MOTHER...FUCKING...FIREWALL!
<mightyflo> that's a horrible mental image
#4033 [ + | - ] 478
<prence> you masturbate too much if your mom has to snap your
tube sock over her knee to get it in the washer
#4032 [ + | - ] 351
<blazemore> one of my friends that i haven't talked to in
forever said "Hey what's up" through icq last night
<blazemore> i didn't say anything though cause last time she
said whats up she just needed a cd burned :|
<mightyflo> cdrs before hos