hQDB :: hacker Quote Database

Network Stats: 21103 Approved Quotes | 0 in Moderation Queue
#4481 [ + | - ] 84
*** Pope (faykdogpo@AC9654C3.ipt.aol.com) has joined #Sphere
<Khross> Raped any children lately?
#4479 [ + | - ] 1008
<Khross> andy, time for the secret unix decoder handshake.
* andy sodomizes Khross
* Khross orgasms
<Khross> Okay, we can start the meeting.
#4478 [ + | - ] 640
<tatsumi> There's a difference between being grumpy and hating
every little fucker in existence.
#4476 [ + | - ] 488
<Dreq> is there anyway to get the DOS version?
<andy> the dos version of win98?
<Dreq> yes
#4474 [ + | - ] -157
<resident> Africa is a mix of clit-choppin' negroes,
godforsaken deserts, and maneating plants.
#4472 [ + | - ] 927
<the_Speed_Bump> I have a severe, irrational phobia against
midgets with red hair who wear black trenchcoats and sell
kitchen cleaners in back alleys behind hotels whose names
start with the letter 'U'.
<the_Speed_Bump> Every day is a struggle.
#4471 [ + | - ] 312
<the_Speed_Bump> I can't imagine a conversation that covers
both philosophy and shit without being terribly disjointed.
<the_Speed_Bump> "So, what do you think of God?" "I just took
the hugest shit ever!"
#4470 [ + | - ] 41
<[Prae|Code]> As it stands, AvDom is a levelless, XPless,
HPless, MPless, Classless game system
<[Prae|Code]> and it is only that way because it was designed
that way ^_^ <the_Speed_Bump> Sounds intricate.
#4460 [ + | - ] 1461
<jre> One time I went into a stupid donut shop to take a
pee-pee.  They had a sign that said: PLEASE "FLUSH TOILET"
BEFORE LEAVING.  Flush toilet was in parentheses.  So I
assumed it was code for something
<jre> So I "pissed in the sink"
#4457 [ + | - ] 418
<phubuh> WHY THE HELL DO PEOPLE DO THIS
<phubuh> I JUST DOWNLOADED SoF2 AND IT WAS BLACK&WHITE
<phubuh> OH I KNOW I'LL NAME IS SOF2 SO MORE PEOPLE DOWNLOAD
FROM ME AND USE MY BANDWITH OR HEY WAIT A MINUTE
<Katana> I tried downloading Harry Potter and got Ancient
Secrets of Asian Sex
#4456 [ + | - ] 958
<HailBrak> me: "we should form a company that makes manly
china patterns"
<HailBrak> my friend: "i agree. i mean, how much success am i
supposed to have when all the patterns are called "tender
blossom" or some shit? i want one called, like, "Glock" or
"Beer and Tits" or "Lets Burn Down Fucking Pier 1"
#4455 [ + | - ] 365
<Nephil> I was given detention because I said "evaginate"
during a debate
<Nephil> :/
#4451 [ + | - ] 82
<amoeba> mouse gestures = OMG IM TOO LAZY TO PRESS TEH BUTTONS
ON TEH KEYBOARD
<@tr0n> HEY IF I MOVE IT IN AN S PATTERN AND THEN A ZIGZAG AND
THEN A SQUARE SHAPE IT WILL TAKE ME TO FAGS.NET
#4450 [ + | - ] 317
<Alien> I believe our girls' softball team had something about
them never being loose or something on their shirts ... they
misspelled lose with HILARIOUS RESULTS.
#4449 [ + | - ] 242
<the_hydra> I got a hemorroid once and used Preparation H's
little "anal applicator" and didn't think it was really worth
it. I think they just included that as a joke.
#4448 [ + | - ] 195
<tr0n> HINT FOR THE RETARDED: BOX MODELERS SELDOM MODEL BOXES.
#4447 [ + | - ] 799
<Idioteq> shit.. the zombie processes have gone chaotic on my
pull parity
<happy> flip the bits, STAT
<Yoinkster> you should also vi the slackware
<thirtyseven|IGOTHEADTODAY> I get the idea that you guys might
be making this shit up.
#4445 [ + | - ] 221
<K0ffing> you should Photoshop Raz ... I'll give you a dollar
if you can make his face look less like a butt
#4444 [ + | - ] 171
<moira> reading my cds with a laser pointer, while the whole
time I could have been using a mac that can run iTunes
#4443 [ + | - ] 234
<Mr_X> THE US GOVERNMENT WILL PROVIDE YOU A NEW SPACEBAR, SO
YOU CAN WRITE PATRIOTIC EMAILS TO YOUR FRIENDS IN EUROPE.
#4442 [ + | - ] 822
<amit> there was a girl in my english class who had a lord of
the rings bookmark. she looked at me, then at the bookmark and
said "Bilbo's so hot!" and put it in the cleavage between her
breasts.
#4441 [ + | - ] 1338
<Euri> They should make an idiot mode. Whenever you try to
alter something you shouldn't, a big smily shiny thing would
come out of the computer and momentarily distract the silly
person doing something naughty, and the computer would then
pick itself up and fly out the window to safety.
#4440 [ + | - ] 47
<Psylent> looks like  I've  got what it takes to climb the IRC
social ladder
#4429 [ + | - ] 224
<tr0n> I want a brazil renderfarm licence. =(
<EvilKosh> AND ALSO A REGULAR FARM WITH SEXY TEEN SLUTS WHO
GET IT ON WITH FARM ANIMALS
#4428 [ + | - ] 516
<happy> the neat thing about java is that it's so slow
#4427 [ + | - ] 1097
<Euri> I am not going to scan a ferret.
#4424 [ + | - ] 554
<amoeba> it's a little known fact that the binary releases
aren't actually compiled by anyone, they just mysteriously
appear on the FTP site packaged and ready for release.. it's
postulated that the Devil himself uses Mozilla, and in return
for using it he takes care of the insane build requirements
#4422 [ + | - ] 400
<moira> I converted an MP3 to ogg, then back again, and then
back and forth between MP3 and OGG format thirty times, and
when I listened to it after that, it was just an mp3 of you
guys talking
#4421 [ + | - ] 272
<moira> yoinkster is like the humpback of notre dame
cathedral, except no humpback, and it's the ogg vorbis
cathedral, and he keeps ringing the bells yelling
unintelligible things about how ogg owns your mom
#4420 [ + | - ] 139
<Hell_Patrol> to win the game, you must kill me... john romero
#4419 [ + | - ] 177
<EnochRoot> #include pestilence.h
#4416 [ + | - ] 356
<ltbs> SomeGirl: you have Pantera. It's a weird strain of
Anthrax. You should also watch out for Sepultura, Megadeth,
and Black Sabbath
#4415 [ + | - ] 639
<MuSKraT> I'm supposed to go to meet a cute girl at a bar with
our class, but I keep farting. I CAN'T GO UNTIL I FINISH
FARTING.
#4414 [ + | - ] 447
<SLP> I request that you allow me back in the chatroom because
you have violated mIRC32 rules by kicking me out
<SLP> if you do not allow me back in the chatroom i will have
an order saying that you never be allowed to use this chat
program
#4411 [ + | - ] 644
<Pantaloons> IT IS AN ENIGMA WRAPPED IN A CONUNDRUM WRAPPED IN
A WARM FLOUR TORTILLA WITH GUACAMOLE AND SOUR CREAM.
#4410 [ + | - ] 896
<amoeba> it's like Beverly Hills 63.217.26.3
#4408 [ + | - ] 1183
<MosServ> Katto: They will keep fighting, they think that
dying in battle for their God is the greatest honor. But they
also think they'll go to hell if they have pork in their
stomach. Solution: Pork bullets.
#4407 [ + | - ] 338
<EnochRoot> BREAKING NEWS: President Bush has declared a state
of Boogie Madness. Preliminary operations will begin at 1100
Hours.
#4403 [ + | - ] -22
<LesserEvil665___> LINUX IS SO EASY TO INSTALL. IT'S LIKE
TAKING A SHIT AND HAS THE SAME RESULTS!!!! HAHAHAHA I AM SO
WITTY!
#4402 [ + | - ] 614
<Amish> Only roaches and IBM Keyboards survive after thermo
nuclear war.
#4400 [ + | - ] 650
<GPF> Quake, Quake II, Quake III....three universes joined by
one common theme....BROWN.
#4399 [ + | - ] 630
<RSN> Classrooms in Canada are actually used for teaching..
not just target shooting like our neighbours to the south..
#4397 [ + | - ] 278
<Sassy> if the GC ends up sucking, i will start calling it the
LameCube and reap the benefits of my witticisms
#4395 [ + | - ] 649
<Predictable> "Peace, love, and Linux" makes me think of a guy
with excessive facial hair in a tiedye t-shirt, shorts, and
sandals saying "You can't use that distribution MAN" "You
can't like, own an OS, MAN"
#4394 [ + | - ] -169
<JustOnePepsi> I work at the walmart picture development
center just to jerk off to the pics of naked babies taking
baths
#4393 [ + | - ] 244
<Rhombus> Rich fat cats hoarding sleep
<Rhombus> cheap taiwanese sleep flooding the market
#4392 [ + | - ] 188
<Alien> Licking lead is like inviting a bunch of friends into
your mouth but then cancer crashes the party
#4389 [ + | - ] 231
<Campster> "DOOM 3 WILL BE PRODUCED ON A BUDGET OF 439 DOLLARS
AND A PACKET OF JUICY FRUIT"
#4384 [ + | - ] 399
<@JP> before i saw miss cleo's commercial, i didn't know there
was a "you are attracted to a large-breasted female co-worker"
card in the tarot deck.
#4383 [ + | - ] 476
<Real> I found a hooker with a heart of gold.  I TORE IT OUT
AND MELTED IT DOWN FOR DRUG MONEY!