hQDB :: hacker Quote Database

Network Stats: 21103 Approved Quotes | 0 in Moderation Queue
#4816 [ + | - ] 485
<kanin> if (User->HasAppropriateBook()) { while (User->
LacksClue()) { User->ReadAppropriateBook(); } }
else { while(User->HasNotGottenAppripriateBook()) {User->
StumbleAroundHalfAssedInTheDark(); User->WhineOnIRC(); } }
#4815 [ + | - ] 216
<Dabljuh> hey
<Dabljuh> People keep mentioning I would be akilled
<Dabljuh> which is simply not true
*** Quits: Dabljuh (~dabljuh@195.141.143.ZiRC-52133) (User has
been banned from ZiRC (Repeated ban evasion))
#4814 [ + | - ] 676
<ishmal> wandered into a lesbian bar once,  was there about an
hour before i noticed
<ishmal> lots of girls,  no guys
<ishmal> thought i was just lucky
#4813 [ + | - ] 133
<mov> scali and DAL here, cool must say
<DAL9000> mov: nice set of lips to reach my ass all the way
from sweden
#4809 [ + | - ] 904
*** Now talking in #bible
<Synial> Have you ever wondered what JESUS looks like without
his skimpy loincloth? WITH advanced technology, we have made a
realistic image of the full Jesus!  Is he hung like his dad?
FIND OUT NOW! FREE XXX PICTURES!!!
#4801 [ + | - ] 291
<Amanda> Oh yeah, a thug did his commemorative speech on "P
Diddy" today
<kisama_> fuck thugs
<kisama_> thugs will amount to shit later
<kisama_> there's a bunch of thugs here taking CISCO
NETWORKING CERTIFICATION courses
<kisama_> they are all "YEAH MAN I'M GONNA MAKE 80K COMING
RIGHT OUT OF HIGH SCHOOL MAN!"
#4800 [ + | - ] 208
<lewpoo> whats the most advanced topic in java?
<joeblowgt> lewpoo: not getting kickbanned in #java
#4799 [ + | - ] 848
<BadM0f0> Hello, this is a Polish virus. Since we do not have
the technology to create a real virus, please delete all files
on your home directory.
#4797 [ + | - ] 714
<DrWoody> We're talking about C++ here right?
<detmod> no java, duh
<DrWoody> Oh, I though Univ. of IL was too l337 for java
<detmod> what the hell is l337?
<DrWoody> OMG YOU CANNOT POSSIBLY BE A COMP SCI MAJOR!  YOU
DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT L337 IS!!! =O
#4795 [ + | - ] 593
<The_Roach> Well, the boss' wife needs me to fix her computer.
<The_Roach> You know what that means.
<Anton> you're gonna be fixing a computer for a bit?
<Waldo> pr0n music stuck in your head?
<The_Roach> Yes and yes.
#4792 [ + | - ] 416
[Synoptica] no, he's not lagged. he's just stupid.
#4791 [ + | - ] 576
<Aaron> +v
*** Crappy sets mode: +v Aaron
<Aaron> typing +v made crappy put me on +v automatically?
<Crappy> maybe, try typing +b :)
<Aaron> +b
*** Crappy sets mode: +b *!*@m57-mp1-cvx1a.bre.ntl.com
#4790 [ + | - ] 623
<DAL9000> my pseudogirlfriend's preacher was like, all over
her
<DAL9000> and she's not very liked at her church
<DAL9000> cuz they think she's seducing him
<trep> pseudogirlfriend, haha
<DAL9000> yes
<DAL9000> that's a fancy word for stalking interest.
#4789 [ + | - ] 596
<DrWoody> Look I'm writing a letter!
<DrWoody> Dear Internet Explorer:
<DrWoody> I HATE YOU!  DIE!!
#4786 [ + | - ] 568
<malkav> 96 kbps is cd quality
<sic> you must have cd's from mexico or something :[[
#4783 [ + | - ] 241
<cluelezz> ok... i'm in #bearcave... now what?
#4781 [ + | - ] 227
<Matt_of_Ni> is there anyway of overclocking your modem?
#4780 [ + | - ] 6884
<Thumb> do you know of any major organizations that are
similar the CDC?
<Lucent> who?
<Thumb> center for disease control
<Lucent> i said WHO
<Thumb> what? i'm asking you
<Lucent> World Health Organization
#4779 [ + | - ] 593
<Lucent> i'm just about fucking tired of middle schoolers
named samantha e-mailing me for chemistry homework
<Lucent> without giving a picture
#4777 [ + | - ] 496
<Lucent> stupid fucking mirc filling the filenames with
underscores!
<Lucent> WE ALL HAVE OPERATING SYSTEMS THAT SUPPORT SPACES IN
FILENAMES, YOU PIECE OF SHIT
#4776 [ + | - ] 237
<ToiletDuk> i'm known as the boston poonmangler
<Lucent> yet you are in atlanta?
<ToiletDuk> jeup
<ToiletDuk> that's why i own
#4774 [ + | - ] -111
<Lucent> i stay in touch with girls after i dewum
<Lucent> in case i need to punch thay jooterus
#4773 [ + | - ] 221
<maagui> I lub to take adderall, the clenched jawls is so
sectsay... Girls look at you and think, 'nice cheek
structure'... No bitch, I'm just speedin through life on
amphetamines... NOW LEAVE ME ALONE
#4771 [ + | - ] -165
<ToiletDuk> i want to meet a 2 year old with no gag reflex
#4769 [ + | - ] 304
<kyle> if you are aroused by the sight of a penis, are you
gay?
<Scofco> nope
<kyle> good
<Scofco> you're A FUCKING QUEER FAIRY WHO DESERVES TO DIE
<Scofco> either that, or a girl
<Scofco> but even girls don't get aroused by penises
<Scofco> at least not MY penis :(
#4768 [ + | - ] 316
*** [ric] is now known as reign
*** reign is now known as [ric]
<[ric]> heh... mental note... try /whois instead of /nick next
time
#4767 [ + | - ] 252
<aRse> dudes.. i'm not eating asparagus again for a while.. i
just pissed green
#4765 [ + | - ] 234
<m00cow> i'm downloading mozilla rc1
<m00cow> i wonder what its like
<m00cow> i hope mozilla uses its firebreath on microsoft
<m00cow> then eats microsoft
<m00cow> then poos micro soft poopoos
<DCBastard> uh-huh
<DCBastard> how many cones have you smoked tonight?
#4762 [ + | - ] 982
<tatsumi> I wish I could look up and see the stars.
<Toen> you can, if you go outside
<tatsumi> ...... go where?
#4760 [ + | - ] 318
<timmo> which sucks because
<timmo> sometimes you forget the thing behind the sn
<timmo> is a fucking ugly troll
<timmo> you start thinking youre talking to a person and shit
#4759 [ + | - ] 238
<Guilty> All she wanted was a good fuck
<Guilty> That will stop the tears
<Guilty> And if not, tears make decent lube
#4758 [ + | - ] 279
<Navaash> SHIT-FUCKING ASSLICKING ELECTROPLATED BLACK JESUS
CHRIST ON AN ELECTRIC MOPED
<mightyflo> times 7.6
<FlipTopBox> squared
<FlipTopBox> with a cherry on top.
<mightyflo> plus alpha!
<FlipTopBox> for matching service
#4757 [ + | - ] 31
<Guilty> Heavy petting zoo
#4756 [ + | - ] 886
<kyle> I'm trying to get this girl to go out with me but every
pick up line i use sucks.
<kolby> next time you see her, ask her what the difference is
between a pile of dead babies and a BMW
<kolby> then tell her that you don't have a BMW in your garage
#4754 [ + | - ] 57
<`tate`> you ever see palm's api, my god, its like they said
"you know what, apple's api is good(ie we're insane), lets
copy it"
#4753 [ + | - ] 18918
<xterm> The problem with America is stupidity. I'm not saying
there should be a capital punishment for stupidity, but why
don't we just take the safety labels off of everything and let
the problem solve itself?
#4752 [ + | - ] 250
<rhost> no_ana.... i miss you
<rhost> with every bullet
#4751 [ + | - ] 276
<ellipse> whoa. i hate farts like that.
<ellipse> that one was so hot, i couldn't tell if i shit
myself or not. i think i'm going to have to manually check.
#4750 [ + | - ] 325
<RD_> i miss those good ol days, no woman, no money, only
games, chatting, and lots of masterbation
#4748 [ + | - ] 168
<watchy_> i'm so fat
<watchy_> i forgot where my leg was
#4746 [ + | - ] 210
<morganti> the problem is if I have referrer logging turned
off, the images will not load because the site is trying to
stop queers from linking to their content, so if the referrer
is blank the image won't load....
<morganti> however I have a program that is supposed to set
the referrer to the sites domain that I am visiting, but it
doesn't seem to be working
<_8ight> humm.  well, u go to alot of trouble to surf for porn
then huh?
#4745 [ + | - ] 1053
<timmo> wtf is sunburn
<Amanda`> Are you serious?
<timmo> yes
#4743 [ + | - ] 411
<Object> well if a girl can speak of how different men taste
and how it relates to their physic I'd say she's pretty much a
slut
#4738 [ + | - ] 1637
* Synoptica bangs OutLore and Lord-Data
[Synoptica] fuck
[Synoptica] no i dont
* Synoptica bangs OutLore and Lord-Data's heads together
#4734 [ + | - ] 32
<BurntAsh> you know what was funny
<BurntAsh> when aalyiah died
<BurntAsh> man i hated that bitch
<BurntAsh> she wont be dusting herself off and trying again
anytime soon
#4733 [ + | - ] 570
<Guilty> Jees its going to be 48 tomorrow
<Guilty> I thought I was done with waring a jacket
<Guilty> But apparently not
<maff> you go outside?
#4730 [ + | - ] 1138
(skankman) oaid, halo is when two gay guys put their dicks in
each others mouths, but the rule is it cant touch the lips or
tongue or anything. the only thing it can touch if anything is
the tonsil, and they both do it at the same time, and they
dont have sex until they do it perfect.
(Emo|Cuomo) GROSS SKANKMAN
(Emo|Cuomo) I MEANT THE FUCKING XBOX GAME
(skankman) yeah whatever, you sick fuck.
#4724 [ + | - ] 305
* spockdude rustles smoothly and gingerly
<Wyatt> spockdude: Careful, don't exhaust your vocabulary
<furan> haha
#4723 [ + | - ] 62
<+DCBastard> just a jpg
<@m00cow> what of ?
<+DCBastard> apache ah-64
<@m00cow> i've got an apache
<@m00cow> webserver that is
#4718 [ + | - ] 924
<tormy> hey when u burn games in discjuggler, under the
advance tab... should the block be 2048?
<DCBastard> leave the advanced tab alone
<DCBastard> if you were advanced you'd know how to use it