hQDB :: hacker Quote Database

Network Stats: 21103 Approved Quotes | 0 in Moderation Queue
#5432 [ + | - ] 275
<DAL9000> i was kicking ass at scrabble
<DAL9000> and got dropped
<DAL9000> i really should spend my time much more
constructively than pummeling lonely housewives and unemployed
fatguys in scrabble
#5431 [ + | - ] 606
<FutabaAoi> i know none of you shower
<Jakov> I shower 40 times a day fool
<FutabaAoi> golden ones dont count
#5427 [ + | - ] 1825
<doctorb> goth clubs should serve coffee. ice cold coffee.
with nails and broken glass. and call then 'depresso's
#5426 [ + | - ] 4288
<Alcaron> You should set yourself up a webcam. I don't know
why, but I get this feeling we'll catch you doing something
stupid. :)
<Longi> Alcaron: thats exactly the reason i wont set one up,
the high probablity of me doing someone extremely embarassing
<Longi> err?
<Longi> THING
<Longi> someTHING!
#5423 [ + | - ] 185
(Ryco) Sex is bad mmmkay?
(Cody) oh yes ryco.. send that msg while i'm AWAY!.. sheesh..
ya know.. my mother gave me the wierdest look a minute ago!
#5421 [ + | - ] 282
* Lots42 has just finished perusing Ladyj.net and is now very
frightened
<LJ-atwork> Lots: frightened?
<Lots42> LJ yes. Since you have the eyes and nose of my
ex-girlfriend.
<LJ-atwork> in a jar
#5420 [ + | - ] 880
<Psifire> I got out of the shower and put my universal studios
shirt on.
<Psifire> And something occured to me.
<Vykuzich> pants?
#5419 [ + | - ] 388
<MisterQ> I found a way you can call people for free while on
the internet
<shilantra> oh really
<Republica> It's called "Your Neighbor's Phone"
#5418 [ + | - ] 203
<Guilty> Now I see that your Utopia is more of a Fruitopia
#5417 [ + | - ] 949
<Yusaku> "God dammit mom, why the fuck did you buy me an xbox?
" "What, how can you tell?" "Well, that present under the
Christmas tree is either a coffee table, or an xbox...I'm
hoping it's a coffee table."
#5416 [ + | - ] 368
<DrWoody> i do'nt belkivein drinkng
#5415 [ + | - ] 624
<Necro-M> anyone here got jpeglib.h ?
<med-> had it when i was younger, i don't think you can catch
it twice tho
#5414 [ + | - ] 144
<cool__G> I can define 1/0
<illusionz> liar
<BeZoAR> thats like trying to define illusionz sexuality
#5412 [ + | - ] 498
<FireMoth> Tat: what were your grades like in the first
semester?
<tatsumizzz> Like, low.
<tatsumizzz> I suppose the fact that I told my English teacher
I had an erection one time didn't help.
<Ear> Yeah. You forgot to raise your hand.
#5411 [ + | - ] 7322
<factorial_nine> "Male masturbation is a personal turn off for
me. As a single woman, I'm especially looking for a man who
doesn't masturbate, even while he's single."
<factorial_nine> GOOD LUCK, BITCH.
#5410 [ + | - ] 385
* Praetor takes a piss right in the middle of the channel
* andy slashes Prae's penis off.
<andy> That takes better vision than you might think.
#5409 [ + | - ] 222
<AK[coding]> females are the anti-c0de
<AK[coding]> Right now, it's like you're high on meth.
<AK[coding]> But in a few months...
<AK[coding]> You'll be fucking and fucking and NO lines will
be showing up in your poor terminal.
#5407 [ + | - ] 425
<Ron> I am from the land where we do not speak english, I am
sorry for this minor setback
#5406 [ + | - ] 1175
*** Swish changes topic to '"I never pirated it....it was
donated.  by the file fairy.  I put a blank CD under my
pillow..."'
#5404 [ + | - ] 255
<JFelix> So they're fags but you still want them to suck your
cock? You fag.
<Zoglog> what can I say
<Zoglog> beggers cant be choosers
<JFelix> Okay, you have a point.
<Zoglog> BUT THATS NOT THE POINT
#5396 [ + | - ] 440
<+SirLudicrus> type /who *.edu and you see why college
students fail so much
#5391 [ + | - ] 339
tatsumio: itd be pretty neat to have a vagina somehwere on my
body that I could have sex with
Oogy Boots: :O
tatsumio: and the vagina got the full orgasmic effects too
tatsumio: imagine.
Oogy Boots: and you thought I was a freak!
tatsumio: double orgasm
CyAteon: if it was on his arm or something would be really
weird.
CyAteon: not only would you be having sex with your arm
CyAteon: but your arm would orgasm
Oogy Boots: LOL
CyAteon: unf unf unf unf ARGGGGGGHARARHGA <arm cramps up>
#5389 [ + | - ] 34
<noj> i hate when my wang pokes out the bottom of my jeans
#5388 [ + | - ] 414
<infin-01> sorry, you don't qualify for 31337 status, only
31336 status.
#5379 [ + | - ] 496
<`axion> dammit
<`axion> they fucked my hair up
<nakke> well
<nakke> now your hair suits the rest of you
#5378 [ + | - ] 47
<offwYtE> noWay man, tha tis a wikked statement
<offwYtE> well i thought it was
<offwYtE> maybe not sure what it means now
#5376 [ + | - ] 567
<]RE[-NarcDog> damn thats a hard on...
<]RE[-NarcDog> one*
#5371 [ + | - ] 455
<Focks> "Can I have a fag?" "You're a fag" "I mean a
cigeratte, mate" "I'm not your mate, you fag!"
#5370 [ + | - ] 493
<D1> some new LCDs came out recently.
<D1> which are suppost to be better than the old ones or
something.
<McMoo> some new computers came out recently, too
<McMoo> amazingly enough, they're also supposed to be better
than old ones.
#5362 [ + | - ] 294
<RvLeshrac> I wonder about stores that get shot up in movies.
<RvLeshrac> What do they say when it's all over with?
<RvLeshrac> "Hello, Mutual Insurance? Yes, I'd like to know if
my policy covers gangland shootouts."
#5359 [ + | - ] 371
<CountZer0> but where is the recycle bin in dos?
#5357 [ + | - ] 90
<+shagman> man, my ice water tastes like shit this morning
<+SuperGayHomo> well don't get it out of the toilet bowl
<@shagman> I wonder if it's my ice cubes
<@shagman> I'm gonna try the ones from the other tray
<@shagman> ahhhhh, much better
<@SuperGayHomo> those ones came from the tank
#5353 [ + | - ] 492
<AlmtyBob> k funny story tiem
<AlmtyBob> there's this guy at work
<AlmtyBob> and back in the days
<AlmtyBob> I would tell people to ask him how fast his dad can
run
<AlmtyBob> and they would
<AlmtyBob> and he'd say, 'dude that's kinda fucked up, my dad
lost his legs in a construction accident'
<AlmtyBob> and he's a total straight-faced mf, so it got the
best reactions from people
<AlmtyBob> (it was a joke, his dad was fine)
<AlmtyBob> I got this new dealer to do it to him today, he's a
supervisor
<AlmtyBob> I was talking to my friend later and I told him to
go up to this chick and ask the same thing
<AlmtyBob> little did he know, her father was murdered a few
years back
<AlmtyBob> joke's on him!
<AlmtyBob> well, you had to be there
#5351 [ + | - ] 96
<brad-> I wish excite personals were still easy to look
through to bag on people with.
<brad-> And find hot dates.
<LkTruth1> brad- wants to find a mother suitable for his
daughter.
<LkTruth1> Or a large man.
<brad-> A little girl suitable to make another.
#5349 [ + | - ] 58
<Guilty> I dont kid around with my fat chicks
<Guilty> Theres one simple golden rule: No fat chicks.
<Guilty> Golden because thats the color of the Golden Arches,
the perferred eating place of Fat Chicks
#5345 [ + | - ] 70
<Ramen> When my penis grows in size at the site of a naked
male, then I'll believe I'm gay.
#5338 [ + | - ] 1119
<Carplos-Duck> You just killed 100 innocent civilians, how do
you feel?
<Pedro> patriotic
#5337 [ + | - ] 406
<Zeddicus> i like Dungeon Seige, but its not something that
hooks me like a good FPS does, or a good RTS
<agentM> i like dating games
<Zeddicus> i dont
<Zeddicus> i always lose
#5333 [ + | - ] 223
<Ophe|ia`> omg I will NEVER shit that fast again.....my anus
is burning *sitting down carefully*
#5332 [ + | - ] 251
<kidpiglet> is there such a thing as putting a "hit" on a dog
<kidpiglet> if so let me know whos avalible to do a "hit"
<Ph4nt0m> marinate a steak in antifreeze
<kidpiglet> yeah with my luck my hubby would go and cook it
for himself
<Ph4nt0m> would that be all bad? :)
#5324 [ + | - ] 266
<highdrow> when you finally get to the end of all the spam
<highdrow> it's kind of dissapointing that there isn't more to
delete
<highdrow> ;
#5320 [ + | - ] 513
<Lucent-H> who wants pictures of high school cheerleaders that
want to do me?
<moijkNrg> Lucent: I don't want to see any male cheerleaders
#5317 [ + | - ] 826
<Cutter> you know whats a trip ? when one of your friends in
high school has to do a speech to the class and does it on
acid, gets confused and pisses his pants - that owned
#5315 [ + | - ] 521
<Knighted> JLsoft: when i was flying into toronto, there was a
good deal of cloud coverage and visibility was low. so i
looked out the window and immediately though "this is like an
N64 game"
#5314 [ + | - ] 190
<McMoo> i think i dislocated my esophagus
<orion-> fix it with everclear
#5311 [ + | - ] 334
<Mutiny-> "large explosion in downtown jerusalem, two cats
scared, houseplant shaken and dropped onto floor, israelis
occupy palestinian owned areas, 12 palestinians dead in
retalitory missle attacks"
#5309 [ + | - ] 264
<Zexion> Jewdass: well thats what I do when I want to get
totally wasted... get some GOOD pot and drink a LOT of GOOD
vodka
<|Ogreboy|> <Zexion> we call those weekdays
#5307 [ + | - ] 437
<Jewedass> atarax: Find yourself a nice 26 year old woman and
pretend she's two 13 year olds
#5304 [ + | - ] 3014
<pdksh> jesus h christ
<pdksh> 'i got tired of that screensaver on that other
computer so i turned it off'
<pdksh> my sister hard-shutdown my bsd box.
<pdksh> in the middle of a kernel compile.
<pdksh> not to mention that the little blinky light on the hub
was annoying her
<pdksh> so she pulled out that wire too
<pdksh> ...
<pdksh> and she managed to rip a wire pair out of the wire.
<pdksh> yet she wants to be a cs major in college.
<dmaster-> I would beat her into a coma
<pdksh> dmaster-: im about to. either that or change her aim
password so she jumps off a bridge.
<bob354> pdksh: haha a cs major?
<pdksh> bob354: yeah... 'i like to surf the internet and chat
on aim to all my friends all the time so im good with
computers and im good at that microsoft wordart. mom said i
should go to computer school like you!'
#5303 [ + | - ] 421
<@atarax> DrConway: Some kid told me a couple days ago "They
just came out with internet 7.0"