hQDB :: hacker Quote Database

Network Stats: 21103 Approved Quotes | 0 in Moderation Queue
#6848 [ + | - ] 792
<Iggz> i had a touching experience on the subway today
<Iggz> i sat beside a priest
<spoon> kinky
<Iggz> ......
#6843 [ + | - ] 268
<Logan> What kind of router takes 30 minutes to "cycle."
<glasnost> i think we all know the answer to that
<Logan> I don't think they're using an NT box for routing.
#6842 [ + | - ] 100
<{Work}Logan> It feels like quitting time, and one should
trust one's feelings.
#6838 [ + | - ] 299
<q[torg]> joel is a cox high speed member.
<bliant> so he gets high speed cox?
<japov> nah it's my uncles high speed cox
#6836 [ + | - ] 495
<angst> i want a relationship with more depth.
<angst> and no, i don't mean a deeper asshole.
<angst> i mean someone who can deep-throat.
#6834 [ + | - ] 284
<angst> someone off campus was looking at my penis.
<angst> i think i spend too much time analyzing people's
actions in my webserver's logs
#6833 [ + | - ] 231
* Logan learns how to say no to requests of programming
assistance.
<loop> uh oh
<loop> that sounds bad for everybody like me
#6828 [ + | - ] 679
<tweet> does n e one else's gf ever told them they wanna fuck
you with a strapon?
<Nekorin> Good news, Tweet, you have a girlfriend.
<Nekorin> Bad news, she's thinks you're gay.
#6824 [ + | - ] 6104
<@Logan> I spent a minute looking at my own code by accident.
<@Logan> I was thinking "What the hell is this guy doing?"
#6812 [ + | - ] 858
(user1) whio'
(user1) is awke?!?2
(user1) aggha
(user1) aned to think i oepratd a motr vejcal
#6810 [ + | - ] 18
<Funicide> oh oui oui merci oui oh oui merci
<Funicide> awwwww oui
<Unill> french?
<Funicide> thats the sound of 2 gay dude humping in paris
#6804 [ + | - ] 131
<justin> i had a guy claim sending ctcp fuckyou's was a DOS
attack and try to get my account deleted
<justin> 'cain' on efnet.. fuckwit
<cafuego> '*!*@*' on efnet.. fuckwit
#6803 [ + | - ] 529
<drdink> what are c31487-a and cc31487-a?
<drwiii> they are numbers, accompanied by letters and dashes.
#6802 [ + | - ] 257
<YyzKnicks> what is anal sex anyway, when you think about it
too much and get neurotic?   Ohh, you mean butt sex
#6800 [ + | - ] 317
<fuckin`eh> If you think your cool CLICK HERE!
<JtHM> fuckin`eh: nothing happened when I clicked :(
#6798 [ + | - ] 297
<bos> whats that goatse  website again ? I need it
#6797 [ + | - ] 346
<drdink> WaL-_-MarT: I used to know how to do an overhead page
in your store
<WaL-_-MarT> cool, drdink..
<drdink> actually what you do
<drdink> is you take walmart's employee phone off the pole
<drdink> and go get a portable phone from the electronics
department
<drdink> and plug it in to the pole
<drdink> and you can walk around the store
<drdink> and they can't catch you
<drdink> just don't leave, or its stealing
#6794 [ + | - ] 241
<shawn> refurbished is when something is defective and the
manufacturer finds it to be a simple repair and then resells
them to cheap bastards like myself
#6791 [ + | - ] 386
<Kelly> i know a guy who was so facinated w/ tits he take two
condoms, fills them w/ water, ties them together, slings them
over his shoulders and wears them in a bra
<crazym> Kelly: you need to get out less.
<Kelly> heh!
#6789 [ + | - ] 327
<astyanax>  /topic Yes, slashdot is down, please remain seated
and oxygen masks will drop frmo the overhead compartment
#6788 [ + | - ] 692
<drdink> hey
<drdink> who's good at graphics and logos and crap?
<xanatos> drdink; I'm pretty good at crap (I make my own)
#6786 [ + | - ] 429
<nwa_> someone sniff me and send me a copy of all the info you
collect, i am most interested
<beeMind> nwa_: I've been sniffing you and I have some info.
You smell funny.
#6785 [ + | - ] 207
<LordSuggs> and i got a new 19" monitor at work
<DeLorean> I can just imagine THAT interview; "...and how big
was the monitor at your last job?"
<LordSuggs> heh
<LordSuggs> well my monitor isnt the only thing about me thats
massive ;)
<DeLorean> heh
<DeLorean> ego
#6784 [ + | - ] 54
<DeLorean> fuckin' idiot.
<DeLorean> My boss has me checking his AOL mail ever 30
fuckin' seconds.
<DeLorean> I hate when he's in the office.
<DeLorean> He's never here.
<DeLorean> He's here maybe one day a month.
<`Sean> DeL:  Hey, those life and death decisions are made on
AOL!
#6782 [ + | - ] 230
<^o-o^> the development version of Xemacs has a warning file
in it
<^o-o^> "People with epilepsy, persons with a history of heart
problems and users of Viagra should not use this version of
Xemacs"
<drwiii> i bet bob dole is sitting home pissed because he
can't use that version of Xemacs
#6781 [ + | - ] 499
<^o-o^> somebody told me once never to use the words "I",
"myself" or "me" in a resume
<^o-o^> anybody here follow this rule ?
<DeLorean> No.
<DeLorean> It sounds wishy-washy.
<cafuego> I myself have never applied that rule to me.
#6780 [ + | - ] 224
<DaScott> I want to be in the @home commercials, when they
interview the dorks that use it "I can sure download a ton of
porn!"
#6778 [ + | - ] 338
<Dr-Arcane> so the profile is black trenchcoa wearing doom
players who listen to industrial and make explosives.. Well..
looks like we should just start arresting CS students randomly
#6777 [ + | - ] 836
<FindUrFire> how old are you rad,alone?
<SUPER--RAD> i'm 22 years old alone & with others i'm still 22
#6775 [ + | - ] 703
<RadiX> I had a thought
<Isando> Wow it must have come as a surprise to you.
<RadiX> at first I thought it was a headache.. I wasn't sure
what it was.
#6774 [ + | - ] 93
<didas>   ok when anyone sees nirvanas_owner i need them to
tel me to mail me
<AnnoyN_Princess> u want him to tell u to mail urself?
#6773 [ + | - ] 194
<jabroni77> ANY FEMALES NOT BLOND 120 POUNDS AND MODEL LIKE???
ON THE NET?
#6771 [ + | - ] 207
* Fox-20 is down with gcc (yeah you know me)
#6770 [ + | - ] 321
<Romhog> anyone know what an (edict 75) repeating error is in
3wctf?
<Superf0Rk> Romhog- yes
<Superf0Rk> Romhog- but i'm not telling you
<Superf0Rk> Romhog- until you comment on my nipples
<Romhog> they look like little stereo knobs  ;o
#6766 [ + | - ] 184
<Hickboy> i gotta piddle
<Hickboy> doh did i say that out loud
<wolvie> yes, now run to the little boy's room before anybody
notices
#6764 [ + | - ] 324
<dbaker> pine4 came out recently, by the way.
<dbaker> A customer called me a "fucking unix admin nazi" for
not having pine4 installed the day it came out... :)
#6762 [ + | - ] 397
<Elementl1> In all seriousness, I am currently looking for
some warez at the moment.
<Elementl1> I would like a Vigilante 8 ROM for the Nintendo
64.
<Mulet> I'm usually not here this early. do we have an AOL
hour?
#6761 [ + | - ] 212
<Domino> what are you doing?
<Elenkis> eating and drinking and being merry
<Elenkis> well, eating and dirnking anyway
<Elenkis> dirnking
<Elenkis> ...
<Elenkis> drinking
<Elenkis> and typing too fast
#6759 [ + | - ] 314
<Superf0Rk> you're cute.. i'd do you :D
<Superf0Rk> i'd do my bed if it had a hole in it too but
anyways..
#6758 [ + | - ] 289
<Kilroy`> I had this blind date, her name was :. .:. : ... .::
-
<Kilroy`> well, all I saw was the top of her head
<Kilroy`> I wonder if I'll recognize her if I meet her again
<Kilroy`> .....
<dh> Kilroy`: I guess you'll just have to make every chick you
meat give you head
<dh> err meet
<dh> but then, meat works too
#6757 [ + | - ] 467
<Belhade> my gf wanted to use Saran Wrap one night when we
didn't have anything else
<Belhade> I was like, uhm, no, it's a dick, not a turkey
sandwich
<Dipstick`> it's beef... but not that kind of beef
<Belhade> caucasian...the other white meat
#6756 [ + | - ] 292
* compupc1 really wants a new version of something
<compupc1> anything...i just feel like upgrading
<PetrDoubt>  /dcc send compupc1 trojan4b38.tgz
#6755 [ + | - ] 574
<ODD> optimism is having a ups on a win95 box
#6754 [ + | - ] 547
<newkid99> Whats everyone reading today
<Wed> The screen
#6753 [ + | - ] 169
<CyberPunkWanabe> I broke my new stereo that I got after
christmas cause I broke the one I got for christmas..
<CyberPunkWanabe> I shouldnt be allowed within 10 ft of
electronics
#6751 [ + | - ] 1064
<ding0> ahahahahaahahahahah i was just taking a huge piss and
my mom says from behind me "wow jack! your getting big", i was
like, OH MY GOD wtf, and then i finished and turned around and
she was looking at the size on my shoes, whew!!
#6749 [ + | - ] 247
<josh> I was on this conf one time and they were doing 3way
calling to prank call grocery stores, and this chick would ask
if they had keilbasa, then ask if it would be good for
'experimenting" with
<josh> this one guy was like "yeah, it'd work good for that"
#6748 [ + | - ] 521
<josh> usually when guys shoow me their penises I try and
fondle them
<penney> whoa josh
<penney> are you gay?
<josh> no, I'm just friendly
#6747 [ + | - ] 120
<jc> I want photos!
<succubus> jc, i want doesnt get
<jc> I want photos PLEASE!
#6743 [ + | - ] 402
<@helloraj> if ya rape a positute would u get arrested for
stealing?