hQDB :: hacker Quote Database

Network Stats: 21103 Approved Quotes | 0 in Moderation Queue
#6945 [ + | - ] 306
<skynxnex> let's call it "Glasnosat's and Skynxnex's Rockingly
good Web Broswer with a Cool name"
<skynxnex> or Gasrgwbwacn for short.
#6942 [ + | - ] 100
<Dominitus> I meant what i said, you need a diagram giving you
the proper strategy
<Mr_Fish> ON HOW TO MASTURBATE/
<Mr_Fish> ...
<[SA]mr_box> yes
<[SA]mr_box> lol
<Mr_Fish> i've already looked for instructions on the net.
#6938 [ + | - ] 154
<eric> ...whered #goatsex go?
<PyroP> hell.
<eric> mommy, where do cheerleaders come from?
<PyroP> hell.
<eric> ...whats lleh backwards?
<LdySaphyre> cheerleader.
#6935 [ + | - ] 235
<rayena> Oh great.. I'm covered with salad again
<michael> Lesbian salad wrestling, on the next Jerry Springer
#6934 [ + | - ] 215
<CapnKev> Nothing's illegal when you're dead.
<Satrina> "dead girls don't say no"
#6932 [ + | - ] 51
<Nelson> duh; try not to make getting blown the entire meaning
of your existance
#6931 [ + | - ] 503
<Ibrahim> mike should work for tech support
<Ibrahim> not any company in particular, just tech support in
genreal
<michael> Ibrahim, That seems like a good idea in theory. But
take into account my acute lack of patience.
<Ibrahim> that's the point.
<Ibrahim> we record all calls, video tape you, and sell it as
comedy things.
<michael> Mmmm...no.
<Ibrahim> you'd make plenty of money.
<michael> Mmmm...no.
<Ibrahim> Free Donuts.
<michael> Mmmm...no.
<Ibrahim> how about your choice of 20 nude women at your beck
and call carrying large tropical drinks.
<Ibrahim> actually, we could make more money with said 20
women and the video.
<michael> How about we combine all of them?
<Ibrahim> a comedy about 20 nude women with donuts and large
tropical drinks?
<LdySaphyre> I want the video of Ib trying to talk twenty
women into being michael's nude servants.
<michael> Ibrahim, No. A comedy about 20 nude women seducing
me and offering me large tropical drinks while I try to
perform my duties as a tech support person :P
<Ibrahim> now THERE is a video!
#6930 [ + | - ] 1022
<psichan> nipple rings remind me of giant castle doors
<psichan> whenever I see someone showing off nipple rings, I
want to reach out and yank on them, screaming "SANCTUARY!"
#6928 [ + | - ] 1161
<piman> DAMMIT NETSCAPE!
<piman> DO NOT FREEZE WHEN MY MOTHER WALKS IN AND I AM LOOKING
AT PORN!
#6927 [ + | - ] 209
<MenTaLguY> You know, the trouble with cocaine is that the
"...but I didn't inhale" excuse doesn't work
#6924 [ + | - ] 533
<zed> I LIKE BREAD AND BUTTER I LIKE TOAST AND JAM SOMETHING
SOMETHING SOMETHING SOMETHING AND THATS WHY I LIKE CRACK
<zed> IIIII LOVE CRACK
<zed> FROM MY HEAD DOWN TO MY BACK
<zed> ALMOST AS MUCH AS IIIIIII LOVE EGGS
<zed> FROM MY HEAD DOWN TO MY LEGS
<zed> BUT I DONT REALLY LOVE EGGS
<zed> WELL, I LOVE THEM, BUT IN THE WAY A MAN WOULD LOVE A
FINE CUBAN CIGAR
<Nelson> zed; wtf song is that?
<zed> Nelson, IT'S EGG PROPAGANDA MUSIC
#6923 [ + | - ] 182
<piman> Lindz: Does Ricky Martin scare you too?
<piman> Based on the way he dances, I think he's Steve
Ballmer's long lost twin...
#6922 [ + | - ] 274
<piman> RVD: Whereas the amount of people watching wrestling
grows, oddly enough, at the same rate as the people who are
3rd generation welfare recipients.
#6921 [ + | - ] 252
<Satrina> and no, that's my friend Marissa The Nympho Elf :P
<Satrina> we put the Ho in Nympho
#6919 [ + | - ] 366
<Uriel> crackhead is driving at 60 MPH and talking to the
seats. A stoner is driving at 6 MPH and munching on the seats
<piman> How fast will they be going in 2 hours when they hit?
<pvx> 0 mph. Dammed elephant crossings..
#6918 [ + | - ] 258
<aer> I don't like pamela anderson type breasts
<xf> Their remote controls are annoying and not well
documented.
#6914 [ + | - ] 60
<pvx> alright, ive come up with a good description.. it looks
like snot that was soaked in cum, rolled around in encheladas,
and put in a freezer for an hour.
#6912 [ + | - ] 400
<pvx> why do these psycho's always msg my bot?
<xf> Because that is what psychos do.
<MenTaLguY> more to the point, why do a majority of them seem
to be from Brazil?
<xf> Because that is where psychos live.
#6911 [ + | - ] 266
<CapnKev> btw, chicks really dig a man with a palmpilot.
<goosedaemon> really?
<piman> Yeah. Do they politely excuse themselves rather than
blatently run away?
#6909 [ + | - ] 620
<AaronSw> To prevent this day from getting worse, I'll just
read ERROR as GOOD THING
#6908 [ + | - ] 1849
<Toen> OH NO! A steamroller comes barreling down on brentai!
He must roll 1d20! Less than 6 escapes death!
<Toen> unless he wants to use up his luck charm and make it a
1d10!
<Brentai> I use my raping skill to rape the steamroller.
<Toen> your rape is ineffective against the cold, solid steel!
<Brentai> Well, crud.
<Brentai> 1d10
<Dildice> Brentai: 9
<Brentai> Er, 1d20.
<Brentai> 1d20
<Dildice> Brentai: 14
<Brentai> Crap, and crap.
<Toen> squish
<Brentai> Well, I went out trying to rape a steamroller.  It's
a man's death.
#6905 [ + | - ] 187
<sbp> oh, I just remembered something
<Morbus> no, i already dropped your underwear in the mail.
#6899 [ + | - ] 214
<NalezWork> aaw fuck
<NalezWork> I just did a rm -rf blah * instead of a rm -rf
blah &
#6893 [ + | - ] 39
<dawgs> I got virgins who got a pimp? /msg me
#6892 [ + | - ] 315
<fagg0t> I need no ignore list...I'm quite capable of ignoring
people with my BRAIN
#6891 [ + | - ] 226
<RazorX> tired of hearing my 200 pound upstairs neighbor walk
<chemdog> hey, I'm 200 lbs!
<RazorX> so is she
<chemdog> doh!
<FS_Falcon_GA> Raxoz you haven't tried to hit it yet?
<RazorX> no ive heard it getting hit.... i think it hits back
<FS_Falcon_GA> Man we didn't get you drunk enough yet. I'll
have to work on that
<RazorX> not enough beer in the world my man
#6890 [ + | - ] 592
<sal> how to best explain the need for distributed systems to
management? redundancy?
<Morbus> bodies.
<Morbus> think about it: if you bury a single body in one
place, when the police find it, you're screwed.
<Morbus> but cut a body up and bury it all over the place, and
you're maximizing your potential.
<sal> yeah im sure that'll hit close enough to home
#6889 [ + | - ] 177
<_Tenchi_> jwzrd-: are you a pole smoker too ?
<jwzrd-> _Tenchi_: why, you want your pole smoked ?
#6886 [ + | - ] 34
[Topic    ] Synoptica changes topic to '[ madwoota != sober ]'
[madwoota ] since i have only to quote 2 lines from a .log
file to change all your opinions, wonder hwat i couljd get
insteae
#6885 [ + | - ] 386
<rick_rizzy> dude how's this for a horror story
<rick_rizzy> i just ate a hershey's kiss
<rick_rizzy> but sort of half choked on it
<rick_rizzy> some of it got caught in my throat
<rick_rizzy> so i was all snorting and trying to cough it up
<rick_rizzy> and now it's all up in my upper throat and nasal
passage
<rick_rizzy> I'M IN HELL
#6883 [ + | - ] 177
(Pills) "You've got a low IQ" (new signon to AOL sound)
#6879 [ + | - ] 277
<Bad-Co> Next time your having a bad day, think of this...
Your a siamese twin, your brother is gay and your not. But you
only got one arsehole.
#6876 [ + | - ] 768
<Spectra> hrm.  Optus are going to start charging me >= $10
more per month, because "we listened to feedback from our
customers".
<Spectra> I'm fascinated which customers said "we want to pay
more for your service".
#6875 [ + | - ] 183
<Guest11734> Hello! I can redirect all your bot op request,
even BETWEEN
networks. Just type /msg Guest11734 op [botnick] [channel]
[password],
and I'll fix it for you!
#6872 [ + | - ] 353
*** ChanServ sets mode: +o Nova_Zion
*** ChanServ sets mode: +o Nova_Zion
TwistedSlinky: See.  Channy *really* likes you.  But watch
out.  Now that's he's opped you twice, he's gonna expect you
to put out.
#6871 [ + | - ] 163
Abyss: i deeply resent the use of the term 'purity' in any
context with 'The Brothers Drunk.'  :)
Phil: Oh I dunno.  The purity of the alcohol is an important
concept...
Dex: Yup, anything filtered through that many kidneys is going
to have to be pure.
#6870 [ + | - ] 546
Brucha: I've heard a Kirk/Spock/Scotty slash done similarily.
It haunts my nightmares, I don't need a wrestling equivalent
added.  :)  "The Vulcan emotion is strong and powerful...I, I
can't contain it all..."  "You get that thing away from him!"
Jim Smith: So, Kirk and Spock had an orgy and didn't invite
Bones?  I mean, who's gonna give you more gay sex
satisfaction?  A Scotsman?  Or a guy named "Bones"?
Brucha: Something like that...  Scotty stumbles upon them,
tries to break it up, and then falls to the passion...
Jim Smith: He's such a slut...
TangleToy: *wipes off screen*  I swear.  Why I bother trying
to drink anything while in here is beyond me.
#6869 [ + | - ] 207
* BrooKiki is NOT a bad person.
BrooKiki: I'm not even a mean person.  In fact, if people like
that were drowned at birth like they SHOULD be, I'd be Miss
Freaking Congeniality, dammit!
#6868 [ + | - ] 288
* Brooke just adores the way you people try to worm out of
stuff.  <G>  "Could you explain it to Brooke?"  "I'd love to,
but I'm right in the middle of chewing my hand off."
#6867 [ + | - ] 37
Brooke: If I don't get a manicure, I'm going to stick my hands
in the garbage disposal.
Lynxie: YOU CANNOT WRITE WITH NO HANDS!  I DON'T WANT TO WAIT
'TIL YOU LEARN TO TYPE WITH YOUR NOSE!!!!
#6864 [ + | - ] 207
* araignee doesn't care for DiCaprio.  He's not to her taste.
Rapunzel452: He used to be able to act.  Then he decided he
didn't need to anymore.  I have little respect for an actor
who lets himself get upstaged by a ship.
hetros: I believe his enormous head, while an religious object
in New Guinea, scares some folk.
#6862 [ + | - ] 479
* AlecWire fires a crossbow dart through the arrow, landing it
in Foe's crotch.
Foenix: HA!  Joke's on you!  I had no plans to use that for
years!
#6860 [ + | - ] 175
* Alan wasn't aware Rap was an action figure.
Rapunzel452: Oh, yeah.  Everyone wants a small plastic me
adorning their shelf.
AlecWire: Or a large plastic blow-up you...
#6858 [ + | - ] 110
Abyss: Matt -- you ain't got nothing i can't subpoena,
army-boy.
Matt Nute: From what we hear, it's a rather small subpoena.
#6857 [ + | - ] 181
*** Sparks has quit IRC (Quit: You have never really, truly
known the joys of riding on a public bus until you look around
and realize that the people sitting next to you are the same
ones who converse with cheese on a regular basis...)
Seraph: Nothing wrong with talking to cheese.  :)
#6854 [ + | - ] 38
*** Jim Smith has quit IRC (Quit: MAH GAWD!  New Mexico just
hit Al Gore with that steel chair!  DAMN YOU, NEW MEXICO!
Why?  Why?  Why?!  Tell me why, you sonsabitches!)
#6853 [ + | - ] 273
* t watches win2k grind to a halt
<greg> Give it some credit.  It slows down quickly.
#6852 [ + | - ] 960
<greg> You know what's wrong with this channel, Nathan buys
laptops and scotch, and you people ask him what kind of
laptops.
#6850 [ + | - ] 283
<@unlord> yah I've gotten good at typing in the past few dasy
#6849 [ + | - ] 1093
<cmw> ok how about this one
<cmw> Dear Natalie,
<cmw> How's it going studying at Harvard? I bet it's hard. I
am sorry my sweet but sometimes life is hard. I love you. You
are so beautiful and smart my darling. God made you so
perfect. Will you marry me? We could be so happy together,
forever. We have so much in common, you are in Star Wars and I
like Star Wars. Can't you see we were made for each other.
<cmw> Yours Always,
<cmw> Cody Crenshaw
<ShadowFang11> yea, thats good