hQDB :: hacker Quote Database

Network Stats: 21103 Approved Quotes | 0 in Moderation Queue
#8701 [ + | - ] 80
*** jamesm sets mode: -snt
<jamesm> dunno why people keep fucking up the channel modes,
like, who gives a fuck
<jamesm> oh my god, someone protect IRC!
<jamesm> fucking choad munching morons
*** cactoid sets mode: +k jamesmisgay
#8700 [ + | - ] 214
<Bleve> where an engineer says "1/0 = infinity"
<Bleve> and a mathematician says "1/0 is undefined"
<Bleve> and a SPARC designer gets root
<Bru> which sparc designer is this?
<Bru> oh
<Bru> heh, I read that as 'and a SPARC designer gets A root'
<Bru> hence my scepticism
#8695 [ + | - ] 454
<spoob> MCSE is to computers as McDonalds Certified Chef is to
fine cuisine
#8693 [ + | - ] 93
<mmm> i'm single and stuff
<Bobski> mettas relationships have an idle timer
#8691 [ + | - ] 216
<^_^Sasha^_^> im unzipping ma pant
<Nikki21[woaHOTTY]> wait a second
<Nikki21[woaHOTTY]> Does Allah know you are fucking an
american?
<^_^Sasha^_^> yeah he knows everything
<^_^Sasha^_^> He
<Nikki21[woaHOTTY]> so is he cool with it?
<^_^Sasha^_^> no:|
<Nikki21[woaHOTTY]> oh, so do u want 2 stop? allah might get
mad
No such nick/channel
Session Close: Sat Jun 08 02:05:24 2002
#8689 [ + | - ] 360
<MMouse> the dates I started and left positions "dont give an
accurate impression of how long you worked at that position"
<drewb> god, it almost sounds like you were deliberately vague
about dates to hide the fact you didnt last long in a job..
<Tippytoes> what format did you put the dates in, max?
<SataniKKa> roman numerals
<Sep> binary
<SataniKKa> Monday is not a date.
#8687 [ + | - ] 385
Ryk> "let's be friends" is what chicks say when they're
feeling guilty about shafting someone.
<Ryk> they don't mean it.
<Ryk> they mean the kind of friends that never speak and never
see each other.
<Tippytoes> thats the best kind of friends
#8685 [ + | - ] 189
<jamesm> geez, it's only 10:20am and i'm already completely
e-bullshitted out
#8684 [ + | - ] 916
<Pryk> I am so fucking h0nry today, I don't know what's wrong
with me. It's like someone is licking the crotch of my voodoo
doll.
#8682 [ + | - ] 86
<jamesm> what are you running on the alphas?
<MMouse> tru64 at the moment
<MMouse> with oracle
<jamesm> no wonder so many dotcoms go under
#8681 [ + | - ] 228
<Ryk> you know the bottom half of an egg carton? I got me one
of those, and cut holes where the eggs sit. I'm gonna take it
home tonight, get nekkid, and have my own game of "smack the
weasel".
#8680 [ + | - ] 142
<jamesn> max: best become a sales guy
<jamesn> those jobs are easy to get
<jamesn> and you dont need skillz
<undrewb> heh
<MMouse> both. yeah i was thinking sales, but that's like a
last resort
<undrewb> but to get into sales, you need to be a superficial
wanker with no clue...
<undrewb> oh.. ok :)
#8679 [ + | - ] 44
<toNe> Nall is like an xbox
<Nall> thank you
<toNe> big, heavy, not fun, and useless!
<Soopa> good graphics though...
<Soopa> and easy to develop for...
<toNe> and you have to pay extra to get all the features
<Soopa> and will be dead in a year
<acetonic> and Bill Gates spends Billions on it
<Nall> who will die
#8677 [ + | - ] 37
<drewb> I still dont get how you can use linux when it doesnt
have a control panel
<jamesm> well duh, use xeyes
#8674 [ + | - ] 191
<jamesm> fear the day when the president sends an icq message
to the loser saying 'eye fuxx0red j00!!'
#8673 [ + | - ] 284
<X-man> i had a comp sci teacher that named her dog scsi
<X-man> i felt bad for it
#8672 [ + | - ] 205
<Duck[STFUF]> you know ath, why did you change your name to
avin...A, V, I and N are pretty much as farthest they can be
from one another:<
<Jumper|TMC> BECAUSE IT'S HIS NAME
#8671 [ + | - ] 301
<DigDug> i'm so tired of reformatting quotes :/
<c-rOCK> THEN DONT
<c-rOCK> KILL THAT QDB
<c-rOCK> LIKE YOU WERE ABRAHAM
<c-rOCK> AND THAT SHIT IS YOUR SON
#8670 [ + | - ] 699
<|Spanky|> peeing your pants it like happiness
<|Spanky|> everyone can see it, but only you can feel its
warmth
#8669 [ + | - ] 4
<SDGR406> I'll send you some of my worn panties
<SDGR406> will that work?
<|Spanky|> i need womens
<|Spanky|> men dont get me off anymore
<|Spanky|> i want hair though
<|Spanky|> those are like finding a treasure
<|Spanky|> finding a pube on a this week's stolen pair is like
having a goose that lays the golden egg
#8668 [ + | - ] 8
<cryterion> hooker fucking is an art.
<cryterion> you have to be able to do it with one arm up
<cryterion> and shave her pubes
<cryterion> while doing your business through shaving cream.
#8667 [ + | - ] 322
<cryterion> that the girl had a nickname.
<cryterion> "mouse"
<cryterion> have you ever stepped on a mouse's tail?
<cryterion> and heard it squeak?
<cryterion> this girl did that at the point of orgasm.
<cryterion> "EEEEEEEEEEEE!
#8666 [ + | - ] 189
<bbl-away> sheeesh sickjay, ease up on the #eos spam
<CactusJac> don't talk to him that way
<CactusJac> he's my boyfriend
<bbl-away> well, take him and get a room
<CactusJac> we're exhibitionists
#8665 [ + | - ] 300
<iggypop> if i dont get on tomorrow, i'm probably burnt up
<iggypop> i took the battery out of my smoke alarm for my
digicam
#8664 [ + | - ] 36
<litigator> alcohol always helps the cause
<litigator> roofies only as a last resort
#8663 [ + | - ] 49
<Renegad3> Cannibal Corpse is good just cause of the lyrics
<Renegad3> i cut her from her neck down to her anus. then i
cut out her vagina. then i ate it.
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
#8662 [ + | - ] 892
<iggypop> i told my gf some shit when i was drunk, and now
she's like "you weren't just saying that because you were
drunk, were you?"
<iggypop> and i don't have a fucking clue what i said
#8660 [ + | - ] 226
<CactusJac> masturbating is like pringles
<ori0n> once you pop, you can't stop!
#8659 [ + | - ] 22
<cryt> germans can't speak straight.
<tyree> cryt, ever been over here?
<cryt> unfortunately.
<cryt> found meself shitting on the park benches. no public
toilets.
<cryt> "YOU THERE, STOP! I NEED TO USE YOUR SHIRT TO WIPE ME
BUM!"
#8658 [ + | - ] 247
<imsuxok> Maybe there'll be some breakthrough in internet
technology
<imsuxok> I hear the powerline stuff is close to being
released commercially
<imsuxok> I'm just worried that it'll overload the outlets in
my old house. I don't feel like burning to death just so I can
download porn faster.
#8656 [ + | - ] 28
<Pottsy> http://www.consumer.att.com/dsl/promotion/assets/
images/headers/hdr_landing2.jpg <- heh
<JtHM> whats funny about that jpg?
<Pottsy> look at what hes pointing at
<JtHM> ah
<JtHM> yes well.. kids are 'tards
<JtHM> as are people who make webheaders for large
corporations it seems
#8655 [ + | - ] 33
<Roga> wats the dirtiest thing clare has sed to u while ur
goin at it?
<grinners> dunno jake... can i shit on your face maybe?
<grinners> she a nice girl
<joker2> "got a hand free? 'cause i forgot to wipe"
#8653 [ + | - ] 485
(¨) signoff/#housemartin.. erandus (Quit: If a guy builds 1000
bridges,
and sucks one cock, he isn't a bridge builder. He's a cock
sucker.)
#8650 [ + | - ] 49
<gallagher> why the fuck do my fingers smell like something i
have never smelled before
<gallagher> and it smells horrible
#8649 [ + | - ] 54
<snoggerT11> fuck you
<helminthes> obvious immature retort:
<helminthes> "OH I JUST LOOOVE WHEN YOU TALK DIRTY"
#8648 [ + | - ] 254
<hakan> i asked this hot girl out, she said she just wanted to
be pen pals
<hakan> and she dropped our class
<dr_rotcod> haha
<hakan> is that a good thing?
#8647 [ + | - ] 235
<helminthes> I WAS RUDELY AWAKENED
<helminthes> the pest control people showed up
<helminthes> and obviously this guy had a sense of humor and
sprayed by face with pesticide
<helminthes> oh he's so funny
<helminthes> i'm never sleeping in the den again
#8645 [ + | - ] 417
<dr_rotcod> if my computer were human it'd be a limbless
retard
#8644 [ + | - ] 260
<Wehrwolf> From CNN: "Sci Tech / Featured Sections : Is VHS
obsolete?"
<SD-Crono> this is a followup to thier Future of Gaming E3
2002 report with a Dreamcast picture ... nice ^^
<Wehrwolf> Maybe their sci-tech guy is some 90 year old who
lives in the woods
#8643 [ + | - ] 147
<mewse> we all gotta satisfy our irc addiction in one way or
another
<mewse> if that means using aol, so be it
#8637 [ + | - ] 1443
<NiTro> i gonna go test for hiv
<NiTro> bbl
<Impolite> think positive
#8636 [ + | - ] 288
<teste_fly> i talk shit, and none of it's true and i'm a
skinny pussy who wouldn't harm a turd
<teste_fly> but i will give it a stern talking to
#8634 [ + | - ] 80
<gord> i dont like you
<gord> and if i met your mom i probly woudlnt like her either
#8632 [ + | - ] 114
<@Lum_> 128 mb is enough
<@Lum_> it's fucking enough for microsoft dev studio
<@da_slog> NO IT ISNT STFU NEWB
<@Lum_> I think it's enough for my TANK GAME
#8628 [ + | - ] 122
<FactsOfLife> wasn't linux a peanuts character?
<FactsOfLife> yeah linux, the kid who carried a blankie to
keep the bad guys away...
<FactsOfLife> yeah yeah, linux, short kid, charlie brown's
friend...
#8620 [ + | - ] 620
<Cyride> the other day i was in the mall with my wife and we
pass by a pictuer of two girls that are in the playboy bunny
suits and my wife says i bet you wished i look like
that... what is someone supposed to say to that? is "duh" the
proper response to that?
#8618 [ + | - ] 962
<Inflex> Oh my lord
<Inflex> This is so wierd.
<Inflex> In fact, it's wack.
<Noonan> what is
<Inflex> Non engineering classes.
<Inflex> They're like 40% chicks.
<Noonan> heheh
<Noonan> sometimes more
<Inflex> It's so fucked up.
<Inflex> When I walked in, I thought I was in a bar.
<Noonan> hahah
<Noonan> Welcome to the real world
<Inflex> This new world scares me.
#8617 [ + | - ] 224
<inflex> the best way would be to be a lesbian stuck in a
chicks body
<inflex> that way when you couldn't get any, you would still
enjoy fucking
yourself
<inflex> wheras whenever i want to fuck myself i've gotta
touch some dick
<inflex> and any situation where i have to touch a dick is
undesirable
#8614 [ + | - ] 140
<shwartz> anyone know about text interface ftp browsers?
<inflex> "text interface ftp browsers"
<inflex> are you referring to ftp(1)?
<Deviate> Like the kind where you have to do all that typing?!
<Deviate> Those are so 80's!
#8613 [ + | - ] 43
<zealot_> man, if aids made you not want to masterbate, it
would be the most
awful disease ever