<sd> I was once trying to explain to an exec why his account would never be absolutely secure. <sd> Me: "If somebody wants your account information badly enough, he's going to get it. He doesn't have to hack the system, he can just get it from you." <sd> Exec: "That's crazy, I'd never give anyone my password." <sd> Me: "Imagine you come home and find someone's broken in. He's got a gun to your daughter's head, and he tells you he's going to shoot in ten seconds if you don't give him your password. What would you do?" <sd> Exec: [long pause] ... Which daughter? <sd> To this day I still don't know if he was joking. But I no longer use that example.
<Twisten> Generalised question. <Blue> Answer. <Twisten> Was I talking to you!? <Blue> Ah, comedy gold.
Doug: Dude... the funniest thing just happened. I was looking for this smart guy that I know on AIM and his name is Russell... And I almost accidentaly IMed you instead. Russ: how do you block someone? Doug: You're probably using a Mac... I have no clue
Yogo: i hate stupid people!!!!! Yogo: stood in the queue at a self service checkout Yogo: guy infront scans a bottle of milk and looks at the screen, a message pops up and an automated voice say "please place item in bagging area" Yogo: he looks at the screen, then tries to scan the item again Yogo: and again, "please place item in bagging area" Yogo: so his wife looks all confused, grabs the milk and.... Yogo: tries to fucking scan it again!! Yogo: i was almost in tears Yogo: i think these machines should be build so if it has to tell you what to do 3 times a small arm should pop out and remove that persons reproductive organs!
<Jim Kuhn> I just think it is silly that if I live in certain states in a 'free country' that I am not allowed to even read a poker forum. <DrSavage> What gave you an impression that you live in a free country? <bigalt> fox news
<Mithandir> it's interesting how much you can tell about the designers of a product by looking at the end result <Mithandir> for instance I can clearly tell that whomever thought it was a good idea to have "exit program" and "suspend computer" buttons on a keyboard didn't have cats
<APC> I steal from the automated checkout all the fucking time now <APC> Well, I still pay <APC> I just lie about what I bought <APC> for instance <APC> 2 pounds of bananas costs less than say, 2 pounds of hustler and playboy
<Shadow> what the fuck <Shadow> my moniter just went black <Shadow> then came back on <&Aphrodite> You're lucky <&Aphrodite> I heard normally they never go back
<jamariquay> I never understood the need for people to kill for their religion. Then I remembered, "Wait. If Optimus Prime tells me to gack someone, that fucker's going down."
<[AOD]Jrgsubzero> Lag isn't something you should have to get used to. <[AOD]Jrgsubzero> Its like getting used to hilter killing jews.
<coolbreze> heres a better qustion; what is the qucikest way to set up and FTP Server? <SpeedEvil> coolbreze: post your root password in a warez group.
<Jarik_Tentsu> Gah, I just snorted while laughing. <Jarik_Tentsu> And I have a cold. <Jarik_Tentsu> Urgh, this is disgusting. <Jarik_Tentsu> Luckily, it missed my girlfriend - they're hard to clean. <Jarik_Tentsu> err... <Jarik_Tentsu> *girlfriend = keyboard. <Jarik_Tentsu> O_O
andrewy: linux exploits are like IF THE MOON IS IN FRONT OF VENUS AND YOU ARE LEFT HANDED AND SOMEONE ALREADY HAS LOCAL ACCESS AND YOU HAVE YAEWS (YET ANOTHER EMACS WEB SERVER) INSTALLED IT MIGHT BE POSSIBLE UNDER CERTAIN CONDITIONS TO BECOME ROOT
<Snurks> holy god they're making a The Little Mermaid III <MessedRawker> featuring a dead horse as a new co-star right?
FLEAM0: I had to watch Memoirs of a Geisha with my friend's Japanese exchange student...I kept wondering what I would think if I went to Japan and they showed me a movie called Memories Of A Hooker
<Panda-> i love irc so much more than my family <Panda-> mainly because my grandmother doesnt recognize me <Panda-> BUT AUTHSERV DOES!
<tC-CS|royce> man <tC-CS|royce> the guy at mcdonalds didnt react at all when i ordered fillet o fish, no fish, no cheese, extra tartar sauce <tC-CS|royce> and i gotta tell you <tC-CS|royce> this thing is disgusting.
<bill-s> why is evryone on the internets suddenly preoccupied if I wipe front-to-back or back-to-front? <BoltBait> Sounds to me like SOMEONE wipes the wrong direction. :D <bill-s> STFU!
<fugi> a friend of mine just got a dog from a vietnamese family today, I suggested he name it Chewy. <b0rked> why? <fugi> why else would vietnamese get rid of a dog?
<Marco> stfu, i'm doing an IQ test on the net <Paranoua> if you want somethin positive do a HIV-test
<JoeyTribbz> A stats professor plans to travel to a conference by plane. When he passes the security check, they discover a bomb in his carry-on-baggage. Of course, he is hauled off immediately for interrogation. "I don't understand it!" the interrogating officer exclaims. "You're an accomplished professional, a caring family man, a pillar of your parish - and now you want to destroy that all by blowing up an airplane!" "Sorry", the professor interrupts him. "I had never intended to blow up the plane." "So, for what reason else did you try to bring a bomb on board?!" "Let me explain. Statistics shows that the probability of a bomb being on an airplane is 1/1000. That's quite high if you think about it - so high that I wouldn't have any peace of mind on a flight." "And what does this have to do with you bringing a bomb on board of a plane?" "You see, since the probability of one bomb being on my plane is 1/1000, the chance that there are two bombs is 1/1000000. If I already bring one, the chance of another bomb being around is actually 1/1000000, and I am much safer..."
SkudSl4y3r: huh, that's odd... reamererj: what is? SkudSl4y3r: the median age of the US population went down SkudSl4y3r: i wonder what this means SirOmnipotent: the terrorists finally bombed Florida?
andyg721: i think it was on CNN andyg721: Condoleeza Rice went to Asia andyg721: the headline was RICE IN ASIA
<Hex77> I was in class today <Hex77> and there was a black lady speaking about hospitality business <Hex77> and she was like "hospitality business is all about selling people" <Hex77> and I laughed <Hex77> but nobody else did
<H_Zula> I read this article online <H_Zula> and in one part it said "FBI agent posed as a 15 Year Old Boy" <H_Zula> So I was thinking how the hell does this guy look? <H_Zula> Something like a short guy in his 40's with acne still? <H_Zula> Then I realized what the hell they meant...
Alcedes53: I've got everything on my computer from Bach to Bad Religion. Tsukemono5: Clearly, you have a wide variety of music. Tsukemono5: Seriously. What fits in that range? Backstreet Boys?
[Synista]: You know what would have been cool [Synista]: if in the superman movie, they had him break a horse's back
Zizzy: The Bible was the first known recorded Wiki, proving once and for all that Wikis are destined to be screwed up by a bunch of teenagers.
Skuddward: i love wal-mart's footwear department teddy: "Flip Flops, Buy 2 get 1 free!"
assmuncher: any idea who's in the running for president next election? sinistercanadian: ahhnold sinistercanadian: he sneaks into the capitol building every night and re arranges 7 letters on the constitution sinistercanadian: by mid 2007 he will be eligible for president
<starmantaav> so i just realized yesterday <starmantaav> i work at a mongolian bbq <starmantaav> next door to a chinese restaurant <starmantaav> shouldn't we have a bigass wall between us?
<dauphin> wrath, what do you mean in a sense you're also african? <wrath> cause i was born here <dauphin> are you black? <wrath> no <GWF> yeah, you arent african wrath <GWF> if a dog is born in a stable it doesnt make it a horse
<LionClaw> i tried to OD on pain relievers once <nanNette> :/ <LionClaw> i didnt have a headache for about 2 months
<Swiich> dude, that girl i went on a date with last night was really dumb <Cindy> fuck you too <Swiich> shit, wrong window
<nonplused> guys <nonplused> what starts up apache on reboot <quadra> hmm it sounds like a native american thing <quadra> so the answer must be Alcohol
<Navatalin> What do we want? less premature ejaculation! When do we want it? ...ahhh shit :(
<Klaatu> Man, I don't know why your g/f has sex with you so much. With your micro wang and all. <Hl1> Psh, it's not the size of the hull. It's the motion of the ocean. <Klaatu> Aye, but it's mighty hard to cross the Atlantic in a dingy.
ScottDoom1944: I have had several customers inquiring about the Wii, but none had inquired about the 360 previously and none have inquired about the PS3. h0ckeygod: That's because you work at Toys R Us.
<spree> downloading movies takes so freaking long <videogameaholic> set it and forget it <spree> i set it hours ago <spree> i want to watch it before i sleep <spree> i imagine it'd be even worse with chicken <spree> if i stuck a chicken in the oven, there's no way i'd forget it <spree> i'd be staring hungrily at it for hours <videogameaholic> you kidding? when I put a burrito in the microwave and push 90 seconds, I grab a bag of chips.
Mike: i downloaded a virus to test my current virus protector. guess what, it failed the test
< dadexter> I stopped using reiserfs because some of my data went missing and my HDD died... ironic, isn't it?
<Ich> I've discovered that people on IRC don't get offended or riled up by racism <Ich> nor politically incorrect jokes <Ich> nor feminism, nazism, <Ich> nor goatse, or even tubgirl <Ich> not even jokes about 9/11 get a rise out of anybody <Ich> but as soon as I tell somebody that macs are better than PC's, things get ugly
<caddoo> why do you need condoms sent to you discreetly, you can get them in toilets, schools, chemists and they are all pretty discrete. <EvilDr.X> I dunno, man. I had a friend who used a condom he found in a toilet, he got a really bad infection.
<anaemic> i like the word inflamable, because its like throwing a curveball at the foreigners in a very dangerous and potentially entertaining way
<antisocial_boris> hmm, my code isnt working, i need a break <hapchi> well, keep in mind it must be inside a while or for loop
KiRBYdaCREAMpuff: I saw the funniest thing today, a group of white guys putting a roof on a mexican restaurant
<Spock> have you ever noticed how closely the jehovas witnesses resemble the sith? <Spock> they always come in pairs of two <Spock> one Master and one apprentice
<RockWolf> one time my friend tried to kill himself by taking 30 advil. <RockWolf> i was like dude...why take 30 advil when you can take 3 aleve? =D