<jre> I wouldn't eat dolphin. I refuse to eat anything smarter than me. Which is why I abstain from broccoli. <AmbushBug> I would love to only eat things smarter than me. <AmbushBug> ... <AmbushBug> I assume the silence is all of you standing agape at the opening i left for all of you. <jre> Ambush: It's too predictible. We want originality in our comedy. <jre> ALL YOUR BASE ARE BELONG TO US
<pork> gudrow: what about when you're driving and eating a sloppy meat pie and you sneeze really hard into the pie and squeeze it and the meat comes out and scalds your legs and you're doing 120 and can't do anything about it trying to wipe snot from your steering wheel and scalding hot pie <pork> cause i did that once and it sucked
<jre> What should I read next, the Canterbury Tales, Don Quixote, or a book on Greek Mythology? <GenericSuperhero> READE YW OLDE KANTVRBVRY TALES <GenericSuperhero> THEYE ARE SHURE TO BEE VARY INTERASTINGE <GenericSuperhero> HOPEFULLYE, YOU WILL READE IT IN THINE OLDE ENGLISHE <EvilKosh> HELLO I AM JRE AND I HAVE TO READ HIGH FALOOTIN' BOOKS <jre> GENARIKE, THOU ART AN FAGOTE OF THE LOW'ST ORDRE <GenericSuperhero> THANKE YOU JAREE-EE <jre> DAMN'D BE THOU SEED, AND MAY'ST IT NE'ER PRODUSE A PERSYONE OF ATTRAKTIVE CALIBAR <GenericSuperhero> AYE, TISS MUSTVE HAPPENED TO YONDERS MOTHERE WHENCE THOU WAS CAPTURED WITHIN HER WOMBE! <jre> THOU SPEAKST LIKE A RAGEING MANHAT <GenericSuperhero> AH! THEN EYE SPEAKTH LIKE THINES FATHRE!
<Murder-Is-Funny> I know this girl who is supposedly kinda anti-social - so she says - and she's mentioned she doesnt go many places or have many friends.. - but when I call her, she's never home - whats that mean? <Byte^> she has caller-id
<Brando457> wait NJ is east coast right <PizzaMind> ... <PizzaMind> dont you live in NJ? <BRando457> yea
[02:21] * ekum is away, sleep [log:OFF] [page:OFF] [02:21] * ekum is away, work [log:OFF] [page:OFF]
Panny: I could sell my soul back to my ex for a computer. RebelPrincess: don't. Panny: I could sell my soul to Microsoft for a computer. RebelPrincess: don't!!!!
<Murder-Is-Funny> I get this huge kick of trying to talk people I judge as worthless into suicide
<Outhouse> my wife is cool but when she starts that shit like, hold me, talk to me...it's like why?
centenarygirl: maybe someday, but not right now RKM 82: "maybe someday" do you mean that, or is that just thrown in there to comfort me centenarygirl: no.........I really mean it <PizzaMind> maybe means "when I'm 30, my pussy is floopy, no one else wants me and I've finally grown out of liking assholes"
<Burnquist__> : /msg NickServ@services.dal.net IDENTIFY jillhanna <Burnquist__> fuck *** Burnquist__ (FBI@TeraPro33-41.cable-lynx.net) Quit (Killed (NickServ (Ghost command used by ne14a69)))
<BiG_GuY> did u know mother fucker what im gonna to do *** BiG_GuY Quit (Quit: Leaving)
<@SwiftEdge> when i get my new comp I can play network games <@SwiftEdge> but seeing as i have no friends i will have to run fast back and forth between the two
<oneiros> Damn it. <oneiros> I do not understand this. <Kyle> Uh oh. <jwbozzy> ... <Kyle> Oneiros is reading "The Roly Poly Puppy" again.
<DJ> apparently, a friend of mine has split with his g/f "for a couple of mouths" <DJ> im assuming thats a typo
<Al> vasectomy is a foolish barbarism <Al> it would be completely unnecessary is men weren't so stupid to keep having sex with women <jre|away> It's not that. The odd sperm cell can cling to air particles and accidentally get sucked into a passing vagina <Vodex> like an extraction fan but in reverse <Al> damn those vaginas, is there no depravity they will not commit
<FatherShark> Does anyone know how to make real Sangria? <[empathy]> blood of retards <FatherShark> okay, find me a vein empathy.
<lukeiyo-e> my housemate alex used to deliver drugs on his bike <lukeiyo-e> .. from a chemist he says <kodos> speed on a bike <lukeiyo-e> peddling crack
<Disco`Stu> fat girls need loving too <kodos> someone has to take one for the team <kodos> i vote its luke <lukeiyo-e> damn you fuckers <lukeiyo-e> alright.. someone pass me a torch
<[empathy]> i found out the other day that i was in the local newspaper <[empathy]> under a title along the lines of 'new station security cameras paying off
<crushed-out-girl> lucky that my breasts are small and humble <crushed-out-girl> so you dont confuse them with mountains <sod-off> what does that have to do with fisting?
<[empathy-playing]> irc didnt look feasible to cave men.. we fuckin showed them didnt we?
<les_savy_fav> all i know is mr.Ed was really a mr, because he went on to have a distinguished career as a porno actor in denmark
<heyyohey> Im having a lot of lag here. i cant answer the questions in time <Damarr> Pressing Alt+F4 should help. It stops the client sending useless information to the server *** heyyohey has quit IRC (Quit: Client exited.)
<helminthes> i had a vision today of an infomercial where someone goes, "only 29.99??!" and shoots himself
<lovemebaybee'> hey guys asl? <rafeil> she just wants to be loved, look at her screen name <helminthes> so stick it to her.. a sharp knife that is
<coldacid> someone poured cleaner into the toilet bowl <coldacid> now when i piss <coldacid> i get the smell of cleaner instead of urine <nover> damn that has to suck <coldacid> and the normal pee-bubbles look like cleaner bubbles <keerus> things must be rough for ou coldacid <coldacid> yes <coldacid> next thing you know, i'll be bathed and wearing fresh clothing
[Modnar] 3y3 0wnz j00 [TMBG37] n0 j00 d0n7 [Modnar] dude, i've got the inv0ice right here
Moonli3756 : my butt looks 100 times better than your face Shaboobooboo : and gets fucked over 10 million times more
<Skitzo> fuck my image, i get off on huge horse wangs inside of human female vaginas <Skitzo> esp when they fill with cum and it gushes out <Skitzo> yeah <Skitzo> bestiality :D <Skitzo> this is what happens when you go to church as a child and attend christian private schools, folks <Skitzo> <--------- end result
<Wampa> Screw the little children of the world <Falcon24> ok <ROFISH> he didn't mean that literally falc
<midi> if you find some poor idiot with his tongue stuck to the rail <midi> with a train coming and decide that you really don't wanna see <midi> him splat, a convenient source of warm mostly-clean saltwater <midi> is indeed your bladder... <midi> (or so said one of my scoutmasters...) <Squeedle> midi: though they might just rip their tongue off trying to <Squeedle> get away from a scoutmaster pulling his pants down at them <midi> squee: either way, he gets his tongue off the track. and if <midi> you're lucky, you get to piss in an idiot's face. <midi> it's cathartic and good karma. how cool is that? <Squeedle> well hey, what more can you ask for <hoche> o/~ hey baby, if you'll be my dog, i'll be your tree, and you <hoche> can pee on me! o/~ <Squeedle> schadenfreude: A malicious satisfaction in the misfortunes of <Squeedle> others <midi> which is kinda neat. you get a choice between letting natural <midi> selection work or pissing in the idiot's face. it's win-win.
<waffle> <+SKubber> as if I'd remember all my one night stands. <+SKubber> hehehe maybe I COULD remember them by smell <waffle> #bearcave <Proz512> He remembers by the smell of one's colon
<Odin_Tiger> Even those maps that the psychics show of the earth flooded (the ones where science says there isn't enough water on earth for it to be possible) would have me a good 4 or 5 hour drive from any beaches.
<FairLighT> we'd have to do something incredibly crazy to distract the wal-mart staff <V3nOm> lol yeah go take a shit in the front garden
<FairLighT> you know something's wrong when you have dreams about eating pudding and you wake up with a spoon in your ass
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<Mikado`> dammit <Mikado`> I misspelled a l33t w3rd <^cell^> u have brought shame to the l33t community