hQDB :: hacker Quote Database

Network Stats: 21103 Approved Quotes | 0 in Moderation Queue
#10930 [ + | - ] 301
<rubio_> i'd be afraid of my penis shrinking
<rubio_> to the point it looks like a clit
<rubio_> the humidity here already fuxors with it!
<SEoD> hehe good excuse
<rubio_> hahahahah
<rubio_> its embarassing when a stripper grabs it and stifles
a laugh
<rubio_> then pats you sympathetically on the shoulder
<SEoD> hehe and puts money in your pocket
<rubio_> hahahahah
<SEoD> "go see a doctor"
#10928 [ + | - ] 55
<Methical> i need to get a 100 gig HD just for samples, then
another 100 gig so that i cna back up everything
<Entomorph> methical, I'll give you something that's 100 gig
<thePoizon> hehe
<thePoizon> ento swingin with ol' lazy thunder again
<Entomorph> 'ol lazy thunder?
<Entomorph> more like milimeter peter
#10926 [ + | - ] 222
<Macca_> hi all
<Macca_>  can anyone help me with uninstalling WindowsME, it
hasn't been as
easy as i thought it might be
#10925 [ + | - ] 412
<meiscoole:#pc> my ethernet card isn't lighting up and
displaying physical
connection.  Any one have any idea why?
<munky:#pc> broke ethernet cable
<meiscoole:#pc> what is an ethernet cable?
#10924 [ + | - ] 62
<Knorki666> is solaris fully linux compilant ? or unix maybe ?
#10923 [ + | - ] 187
Karl: do you think a lot of dust on a video card could make
the display a bit
blurry?
#10918 [ + | - ] 311
<Iluvatar> 217.136.168.137
<The_Cat> ?
<Iluvatar> guess who's address that is
<The_Cat> HOW DID YOU GET MY IP ????
* The_Cat kicks his useless firewall
#10916 [ + | - ] 297
<Random> Lesbionic? What's that? The six-million-dollar gay
woman?
#10915 [ + | - ] 553
<McEi8th> God damn it
<McEi8th> I walked in on my mom last night sucking off my dad
and I saw his dong
<McEi8th> It was pretty sick
<Pozzi> Dude that wasn't your dad...
* Pozzi runs
#10914 [ + | - ] 768
<Random> "Mosh pit. Well-concealed tazer. Hours of endless
entertainment."
#10913 [ + | - ] 165
<Random> Actually, I'm not the devil. I'm an interested
third-party broker. Unfortunately, not being the devil, I
can't change the size of your ass.
#10912 [ + | - ] 206
<Random> Yes. Your testicles, if not stopped, will slaughter
the hapless opposition.
#10911 [ + | - ] 138
<Xaotika> if i ever start a band, remind me to call it MY ASS.
<Xaotika> then you could all come watch MY ASS if we ever
perform on stage.
<Xaotika> MY ASS will rock your world. i'm sure.
#10910 [ + | - ] 1213
<LabMonkey> ok riddle me this
<LabMonkey> I open the pack of cigarettes
<LabMonkey> pull out one
<LabMonkey> pick up my lighter
<LabMonkey> put the cigarette back in the pack
<LabMonkey> then try to light my nose...
<LabMonkey> What the fuck, over.
#10908 [ + | - ] 313
<StrScream> jeremy: as long as you're going postal, can you
find out why I haven't gotten any mail for 3 days?
#10906 [ + | - ] 52
<Helly> My sister is Jewish by injection, dammit!  I
mean...uhhh
#10904 [ + | - ] 349
<StrScream> my pants are back up, after almost no downtime in
the last 2 years.
#10899 [ + | - ] 113
<StrScream> there is definitely not NEARLY enough dick being
licked.
#10894 [ + | - ] 597
<Starscream> uh
<Starscream> i just accidentally told my credit card company i
was smoking crack
<Starscream> shit.
#10893 [ + | - ] 217
<octal> i think meeting lots of cute/etc. girls is easier if
you're deaf and thus can tolerate raves.
#10892 [ + | - ] 487
<Random> "You're so sweet, and intelligent. What's your name?"
"Jeremy." "Isn't that male?" "Yes." "AAAAH STAB STAB STAB STAB
NEVER STOP STABBING I HATE YOU KILL YOU KILL MOMMY KILL KILL."
<--- Online lesbians are fun.
#10890 [ + | - ] 597
<gldnmean> I always thought "The sound of one hand clapping"
would be good zen masturbation slang
#10889 [ + | - ] 122
<nwinter> well, there are solutions to getting rid of nads,
eric.
<nwinter> i have a fork and a rusty corkscrew. let's do it.
#10883 [ + | - ] 264
<jorm> fuck freedom. freedom is for weenies.
<jorm> COOL people want to be oppressed.
#10882 [ + | - ] 181
<jorm> i want to get laid. look out, world.
#10881 [ + | - ] 300
<jorm> it will be my favorite thing until i remember that i
have a penis.
#10880 [ + | - ] 290
<jorm> if you have to ally yourself with a subculture that
likes bad music and shitty drugs, you might as well go with
the one where you're more likely to get laid.
#10879 [ + | - ] 514
ZangTT> the earth IS flat. it just stuffs its bra.
#10877 [ + | - ] 318
<Vod> that sentence is even more screwed up than even mine
usual are
#10869 [ + | - ] 627
<Stuckie> I had to sit through the Sound of Music for TWO
FRIGGIN weeks.. bloody school shows... probably why I've
cracked... lol
<Stuckie> The hiiiiiills are aliiiiiive with the sound of
**BANG!!** DIE YOU BASTARDS!!! **BANG!!**
#10868 [ + | - ] 127
<SimonB> .se servers have been quite stable lately
<luna_s> ok so swedish servers are the best ok ok ok
<SimonB> I like webgiro
<luna_s> demons fine most of the time
<luna_s> until a pissed up engineer spills his can on a router
<SimonB> :D
<SimonB> until? its more of a rule than an exception
#10862 [ + | - ] 368
<Danelope> This contract doesn't involve sodomy, does it?
<harb> actually
<harb> damnit
#10860 [ + | - ] 921
<rds|squall> im italian plz help me
#10859 [ + | - ] 160
<BigTongue> man, look at this slut on the price is right...
bob barker is having a viagra attack
#10853 [ + | - ] 838
<_orion> I love escelators, they can never break, only
temporarially turn into stairs
#10852 [ + | - ] 144
<yuu_> Am I lagged?
<el_wado> hard to tell, maybe you're just slow
<yuu_> feh
<el_wado> try responding to this: are you gay?
<yuu_> are you not funny?
<yuu_> how about just pinging me.. that would be simple
<el_wado> hmmm your delay could be interpreted as lag or
underlying homosexual tendencies
-> [yuu_] PING
[yuu_ PING reply]: 1sec
<el_wado> 1 second - I suggest blatent homosexual
#10848 [ + | - ] 254
<Art`> Howabout you hold your racquet like your cock?
<Saccy> You mean double-handed?
#10846 [ + | - ] 805
<Saccy> My password is alpha numeric.
<Strife> Well mine's a mixture of numbers AND letters.
#10844 [ + | - ] 188
<Don Ravioli> you hear about [M]?
<Xav> you mean about how it's full of rampant homosexuals?
<Xav> yeah i heard, bad news man.
<Don Ravioli> haha
<Don Ravioli> why bad news?
#10842 [ + | - ] 1834
<Aegis> Dude this chick said she wouldn't give me head because
she doesn't do that
<Vyse> They still make those?
#10837 [ + | - ] 238
<Keeper> ooooh, another dead mouse
<Keeper> I think it was a radioactive mouse too, cos as soon
as the mousetrap snapped, the TV reception died for a second
<Deke> keeper has mice?
<Keeper> not anymore :P
#10834 [ + | - ] 233
<Pikapi> but microsoft doesn't sell windows for macintosh?
#10829 [ + | - ] 34
<BLAiR`o_o> does anyone know how i can make it so that my
keyboard permenently holds down p?
#10828 [ + | - ] 247
<MeTh|pizzza> ack! i think some1 is tryin 2 break into my
house! i just saw a kladder go by the window...
<ddrfreak> really?
<MeTh|pizzza> in other chan...
<ddrfreak> somoene is trying to break into your house in the
other channel?
#10824 [ + | - ] 171
<Hellwarrior> I bet I can suck my own dick
<Hellwarrior> one sec
#10822 [ + | - ] 193
<deniro> Happy to hear that the french lost the world cup
already!
<deniro> Next time football will pop up into conversation,
those french bastards will pretend an urgent pee to go cry in
the toilets instead of being arrogant as usual
<bloom> Aren't you french?
<deniro> Well... don't tell anyone ok?
<deniro> I don't want anybody to think I must have some kind
of disease to go so often in the toilets for the next 4
years...
#10820 [ + | - ] 268
<mdgslve> Zeek the only good thing about sheep is if you get
em close enough to a cliff they push back really hard :)
#10815 [ + | - ] 254
Topic is 'Your mom has sex with sharks.' *** <Drewtig> oh
SHIT, that's fucked up =D * Drewtig 's mom read that, and
said: "Yeah, but he was more like a weasel that thought he was
a shark."
#10811 [ + | - ] 685
<MadMax> I'm going to buy myself another 6 80GB Seagate
Barracuda IV's :D
<MadMax> That way, I can set up a 1/2 Terrabyte array
<MadMax> Wouldn't that be incredibly cool?!
* Altariel looks at MadMax and shakes her head
<Altariel> thats a penis thing, isnt it.
#10809 [ + | - ] 419
<Leb> I'VE BLOODY WELL FORGOTTEN WHAT I HAD INTENDED TO DO
<Leb> though i have a sneaking suspicion that it involves an
immense iron penis