<Spike> You know what I want to do? I want to go on eBay and buy all the souvenier pieces of the Berlin wall, then reconstruct it along the Mexican border
<Super_User_2> the very first time I practiced driving I scared the shit out of my dad. It was a manual transmission truck. I had it in first and tired to shift, but the timing on the clutch was fucked up and it just spun, but the pedal was lighter then I thought and I floored it. The truck sounded like it was doing 90 and my nervous laugh sounded maniacal. He just screamed "NOOOOOOOOOO!" as we moved about 1/2 mile an hour... he drove home.
<@puto|^_...> i went in the restroom to take a piss <@puto|^_...> then my fucking shorts snuck out of my reach <@puto|^_...> and fuckign snapped my penis up while pissing <@puto|^_...> fuckign pissed everywhere and on myself
< cygnus` > this girl broke up with me once < cygnus` > becuase i was sucking her tit < cygnus` > and i said it was to try and get milk to come out < cygnus` > and i started laughing like a retard
<@brosie > you know what sucks <@brosie > when you shave your ballsack <@brosie > and then get diarrhea <@brosie > and some of the poo gets in a cut you didn't know was there <@brosie > and you get gangrene <@brosie > in your nuts
<pres589> Chuffy, were you there? <ChuffyCow> pres589: yeah man <ChuffyCow> pres589: I was there <pres589> ChuffyCow: oh man, Charlie was everywhere, in the trees, talking about Richard Stallman, it was visious <pres589> or was that a LUG meeting I went to <pres589> same thing, it was fucked up <ChuffyCow> I don't remember <ChuffyCow> but we killed 'em all <pres589> fuck yeah we did <ChuffyCow> every last one of those GNUook motherfuckers <pres589> LOL
(Pixie_Pete): Care to join me in a little sven co-op? * ssmmdd fires up Sven (Dogsdinner): That's quite possibly the most homoerotic thing ever said in #TPNGC.
(+AeroBob): Ooh! New saying. "A Werthers Original is like anal sex..." (@Pixie|3554Y): They're both given by grandad? :O (+AeroBob): And, of course, both are best served hard.
(Louhi): mind u, I'm called "whats wrong with Cock teasers?" (Pixie_Pete): Are they like malteasers? * Waller buys a box of Cock teasers for Mother's Day as his mother's present
<herk> wait'll i put out my hip hop album <chrissyb0> i can see it now <chrissyb0> "Im herschel i get all the bitches i want, i can make a webpage with any font
<magoo> herk knows all about liquid saftey <herkit> i know where to buy new keyboards
<Raize> http://www.geekissues.org/quotes/?top <Raize> I got quoted in the top 50 IRC quotes of all time <jaguar> !quote <jaguar> !add quote <jaguar> how do u add!
<MissTika> how have you been? <Sage> Good, good. And you? <MissTika> oksy I guess, had a falling out with two of my " best" friends but other then that heh <Ne0_Rat> Tika has been arguing with her boobs again.
<SporkPrez> largo, whats it like being net-famous? <asr> whats net-famous? <largo[mt]> net-famous is when you get the all drawbacks of having computer geek fans who know about you, without any of the benefits. <asr> like groupies? <largo[mt]> no, you get those, but the rank smell takes awhile to get used to. <SporkPrez> like when you mix bleach and ammonia? <largo[mt]> I wish it were that pleasant.
<Wi|d-Ride> I'm madder than a 3 legged dog trying to hide a turd on a frozen pond.
<SpunOne> To The Taliban: <SpunOne> Give US Osama Bin Laden or we'll send your women to college. <nersh> To the US: <nersh> Leave us alone or we, the Taliban authorities would not hesitate to cut off America's supply of convenience store managers.
<Zarzig> If i had a cup of liquid nitrogen right now, i would drink it. <Zarzig> Granted my stomach would solidify and i would die in a matter of seconds... <Zarzig> but at least my underwear woulden't be so sweaty...
<CrazyLich> GET IN MAH PANTS <_Mantis_> ok <_Mantis_> but get out of my parking spot <_Mantis_> I dont care if its "your corner"
InVerSeX: I scanned my penis in a flatbed scanner once. The Spunn: did it hurt? InVerSeX: No, I didn't close the lid. InVerSeX: It was only a 14" scanner. The Spunn: Ah, so you couldn't scan the whole thing. InVerSeX: Exactly. The Spunn: I had to fold mine in half to fit it all on the 14" scanner, that's the part that hurt the most. InVerSeX: Well, I scanned mine limp and then used photoshop to get a stiffy.
<Fustard> i dont understand this commercial <Fustard> "SOBE YOURSELF" <Fustard> WHY WONT THE GOD DAMN DOOR OPEN <orion> because that guy was in sandlot <orion> and his career sucks so much even cold storage doors won't open for him
<L33t_Hax0r[no_job]> hey, i (illegdibly) wrote a pretty damn good essay in class today, with no grammarical/spelling errors to be seen <Mr_X> CHOKE ON YOUR LIES <L33t_Hax0r[no_job]> Mr_X : when i type i fucking spell and wahtever all fucking bad cuz i dont give a fuck' <Mr_X> ...
<Zuwadza> "When all you've got is a penis, everything looks like an anus." - Japanese proverb
(@MpTaNk) today, somthing on TV was going in slow motion, and my first reaction was "Damnit, the tv is lagging"
<@AniDean> THIS FREAK NAMED NICKSERV KEEPS ASKING ME FOR MY PASSWORD <+darkmind> Report him :x <+darkmind> Or try to flood him off
<Swamp|haircut> omg @ big breasted hairdressers *** Swamp|haircut is now known as Swamp <Swamp> whenever she leaned over it looked like i was wearing a mickey mouse hat
<Rammie> how do I change my quit message <EileenB> type /quit message *** Rammie has quit IRC (message) <EileenB> :D
<jablowme> why do some people associate nerds with small cocks? <Jonny-TD> so girls wont like nerds.....duh <jablowme> those fucking fags.
<evn|z> Anyone who feels like sending me GTA3? <Zappha> no <dkcp> You can download it from www.iamaretard.com/GTA3 <evn|z> Thx... <evn|z> ... <evn|z> asshole
<PreZ> u'd think I'd dream about britney spears, or christina ricci, or something <PreZ> but nooooo <PreZ> I dream I'm on IRC in #aussies <PreZ> *sigh* <goombah> wake up prez.. your having a hard disk crash
<Mae|str0m> fuckensonofabitchdamnitalltohellfuckmedeadbastardofaprick. <Mae|str0m> I just dropped a weight on my foot. <Mae|str0m> FUCK. <Mae|str0m> they should make those things lighter.
<blue-elf> IRC Weather: Partly laggy with an 80% chance of netsplits.Expect some afternoon smurf attacks coupled with windbags from the east.
<Journey> I get, from the reactions of the world to our policies, that it doesn't matter what the hell we do--we're always the bad guy. So fuck everybody else. <RedFox> You've been a chanop before, haven't you?
<Aiee> That statement is either so deep it would take a lifetime to fully comprehend every particle of its meaning, or it is a load of absolute tosh. Which is it, I wonder?
<Peter> Scooby-doo. Reason enough to *never* get your pets high, especially on weed.
<Vang> No matter how dead one is, it's still demoralizing to see one's crotch get hurled explosively across a warehouse.
<Seros> Did you get my hat back? <Spleen> what kinda question is that? <Seros> An easy one?
<outlaws> that's so gay <joyrekz> speaking of gay <joyrekz> i watched the gay pride parade on tv just to see some lesbians, is that wrong of me? <outlaws> nope
<Dryzzid{SAS}> OOOOOW
<Dryzzid{SAS}> I just sat on my nuts :(
* Jaedra stares at Dryzz
<Jaedra> dude...
<Dryzzid{SAS}> What? I sat down the wrong way..
<Dryzzid{SAS}> I crushed one :(
<Dryzzid{Nap}> So I wonder...do people in France, England,
etc. measure their penises in the metric system?
<perianwyr> LET'S LOOK UP SOME UK GAY PORN AND FIND OUT
<GreyPawn> My friend Dan once woke up screaming because his nuts got twisted around each other.
Lara: I wonder if something scary will happen if I rotate my Everglide 180 degrees *** Joins: Twitch (none@12-218-101-151.client.mchsi.com) Lara: |\O_o/| * Lara rotates it back
<Gamblor> are you trying to play NES games on an SNES emulator? <Gamblor> or perhaps on notepad.exe? <RomminAvatar> listen gamblor. SHUT UP! <RomminAvatar> YOU AREN'T HELPFUL! <RomminAvatar> AH FUXOR! I WAS USING A SNES!! WORD OF THIS DOES NOT GET OUT!
<Wilson99> omg thats so phat !! i never knew saw that <T1Jr> yeah it is pretty overweight.
<Flash> you can start it by typing alt+F4 <Digimon> wot does that do <FanBoy> and a little window will pop up <FanBoy> its a secret *** Digimon has quit <FanBoy> it is an IQ test
(morganj): 0 is false and 1 is true, correct? (alec_eso): 1, morganj (morganj): bastard.
<Kateryne> brb <Kateryne> back <Malcavious> front <Kateryne> side <Malcavious> middle <Malcavious> other side =P <Zarakinthish> bottom <Zarakinthish> top <Malcavious> no i wanna be on top <Zarakinthish> Of who exactly? <Kateryne> ....dude.... <Kateryne> ew.