hQDB :: hacker Quote Database

Network Stats: 21103 Approved Quotes | 1 in Moderation Queue
#11597 [ + | - ] 549
<bLaKeiMuS_TiReD> i had a dream 2 nights ago that my penis was
stuck in the hole of a TDK silver cd and i was really nervous
<jAyVeNoMx> damn dood if my dick fit in a CD hole I'd be
nervous too
#11595 [ + | - ] 175
<JohnerSuKt> ok but it wont put people in control of my
computer or deleting/altering stuff, just a good ole virus
right?
#11593 [ + | - ] 278
<Fireklar> Anyone know what could cause a monitor to dim like
that besides impending death?
<mig|flurry> fireklar: impending death.
<slurpee> impending death of your eyesight
<mig|flurry> fireklar: capacitors pretending to be resistors.
<Fireklar> DAMN YOU CAPACITORS
<Fireklar> I hate those bastards
#11590 [ + | - ] 570
<ShockSMX> I have more important things to do right now than
sitting in front of the computer... For example sitting behind
the computer, where its safe and nobody will hurt me.
#11588 [ + | - ] 340
<pfk> oh its may 21st..almost time for my bath
#11587 [ + | - ] 852
<arenotelicon> and jason picked it up.  "hello?  *pause*
yeah, she's right here. *glances at me*  thirty-four C."  me:
"thirty-six."  jason:  "thirty-six c.  yeah.  bye."
#11580 [ + | - ] 204
<UberCore> who here wants to participate in a stastical
analysis
<UberCore> involving sex, and star wars/star trek
#11577 [ + | - ] 849
<Dark_Lord411> hi
<Dark_Lord411> asl
<ShockSMX> no, dsl... you?
#11573 [ + | - ] 924
<Amit> I was going to commit seppuku but I accidentally
commited bukakke
#11571 [ + | - ] 383
<Hell_Patrol> I wish the girl of my dreams would stop fucking
haunting my dreams, I wish death upon the stupid bitch
#11552 [ + | - ] 584
<happy> dude, when will i be able to buy a big gigantic fibre
line for like $10/mo?
<jre> You can make one for free if you eat a lot of bran.
#11551 [ + | - ] 316
<orion> the cube is but an infant
<orion> soon it will be flexing and thinking about cubettes
<orion> noticing files in weird places
<orion> experiencing new and unusual programs and applications
<Guilty> MY GOD WE MUST KILL IT NOW
#11532 [ + | - ] 637
<jre> God is a racist.  Look in the old testament and you'll
find nothing but nationalistic hatred of others.
<JesusGurl> God is not a racist. what racist would have Jews
as His chosen people?
#11530 [ + | - ] -56
<GI_Clutch> I made a mixture of BBQ sauce and water and put it
in a spray bottle.  I sprayed a few cats.  They were swarming
with flies and other bugs only a few minutes later.  It was
pretty funny.
#11526 [ + | - ] 1549
<futard> IS YOUR NAME
<futard> NICK BECKER?
<strangury> no.
<futard> ok good
<futard> beacuse then you'd be me
<futard> and that'd be awkward
#11520 [ + | - ] 1096
<jre> If you were a Nazi and had 2 hostages but only 1 bullet,
who would you shoot?  Some normal crew-cut soldier or G.I.
Joe?
<Gudrow> I'd shoot myself because Nazis are assholes.
#11516 [ + | - ] 145
<Al> Cooties is God's way of punishing straights
#11512 [ + | - ] 411
<Gudrow> I hope I get hired
<jre> wear a miniskirt to the interview
<jre> show some leg and some nutsack
#11509 [ + | - ] 400
<amit> I DO THIS FOR ALLAH!
<FBI> we have Allah in a secure facility
#11507 [ + | - ] 1262
<Kurt> I will now make this man disappear!
***Exitium has been kicked by Kurt (Hocus Pocus)
<Kurt> Voila!
<jre> Hey, I saw you palm him and place him in your ass!
<Kurt> THIS SHOW IS OVER!
#11506 [ + | - ] 227
* Teufel is a moron
<_wEaSeL_> well said
<Teufel> I tore up my room looking for the receipt for my
'broken speakers' to return them; when all I had to do is plug
them in
#11504 [ + | - ] 797
<Kurt> Who would win in a fight, Batman or Jesus?
<jre> Batman
<egg> Batman
<jre> Does Jesus have a Christ-mobile or a utility belt?  NO.
#11497 [ + | - ] 1543
<jre> There is no profile of a school shooter.  They come from
all walks of life, all religions; they listen to different
music, have different crowds; they are just random individuals
who cannot be determined to be killers until they actually
kill.
* jre is now known as SoccerMoms
<SoccerMoms> WE BETTER CENSOR MOVIES, TV, MUSIC, BOOKS,
VIDEOGAMES AND THE INTERNET THEN
* SoccerMoms is now known as Politicians
<Politicians> K
#11485 [ + | - ] 306
<jre> I know how to end racism.  It involves a lot of fucking.
<egg> 1st ANNUAL ORGY TO END RACIAL DISCRIMINATION
<Idiotsavant> Usher in the vaunted age of syphilis
#11481 [ + | - ] 1761
<cave> what does stfu mean??
<nso> shut the fuck up
<cave> sor-ry.. it was a simple question.. no reason to get so
mad..
#11474 [ + | - ] 953
<orion> hold on here
<orion> does the cube have a dvd drive?
<Amanda`> It's probably a 12x cdrom
<orion> ><
<orion> insulting the cube is like kicking me in the privates
<orion> i don't know how to eject the cdrom
<Amanda`> drag it to the trash can
<orion> strike two
#11473 [ + | - ] 253
<largo`> my client thought an swf extension stood for "single
white female"
#11461 [ + | - ] 149
<mrunix> WCOME   Ticker symbol has changed to:  WWENT
#11455 [ + | - ] 40
<Reipin> I do makeit quite obvious I want nothign to do with
them
<Reipin> and I have had quite a few call me an asshole
<Reipin> just cause a guy is gay doesn't mean he can't fight
back
#11444 [ + | - ] 17
<synk> ok
<synk> I know this is a dumb question
<synk> but how do you tell what kind of fish something is
<synk> like bass or northern and stuff
#11442 [ + | - ] 545
<dan> what the hell is a ponzi scheme
<brian-w> where you go into a meeting with a leather jacket
and go 'Aaaaaaaayyyyyyyyyyy!!!!'
<brian-w> and they give you money
#11439 [ + | - ] 588
<adr> if kashmir gets nuked we won't have any soft wool
sweaters any more
<TS> thats cashmere you tool
#11437 [ + | - ] 703
<ccc> The next time you're having a bad day, imagine  this:
You're a Siamese twin.  Your brother, attached at your
shoulder is gay and you're not. But you only have one ass.
#11435 [ + | - ] 46
<doc> i feel no need to go to canada
<doc> if i want a taste of canada, i'll drink a canada dry
#11433 [ + | - ] 159
<EC> bikeracer doesn't understand biggles
<fet> no one does
<biggles> my hairdresser understands me
#11428 [ + | - ] 392
<antix> i have a poem
<Lulu> share
<antix> its call "an irc life"
<antix> my bandwidth
<antix> i lag... i lag
<antix> i die....
<antix> the end
<fluxz0r> that was so touching
#11427 [ + | - ] 742
<DannyBoy> Hey CB, do you have any old website interface
templates laying around that you have no use for? =8)
<Cowboy_w3rk> er
<Cowboy_w3rk> <html><body>insert content</body></html>
<Cowboy_w3rk> there ya go
<DannyBoy> wonderful
<DannyBoy> hey, that looks like shit
#11424 [ + | - ] 46
<]CkB[Ireckon> OMG...I found a KrissKross/Britney Spears mix
#11422 [ + | - ] 552
<hobophobic> cant be fucked going to the toilet
<hobophobic> i reckon i'll piss out the window
<hobophobic> brb - pissing out my window
<Mr_J_Beam_1981> lol
<hobophobic> brb - pissed on my window
<Syncope> Yeah you gotta open it first
<hobophobic> :(
#11418 [ + | - ] 195
<SirPrux> My heart bleeds a bittersweet syrup, coating my mind
as one would embrace the fury of nuclear fusion with lead.
#11416 [ + | - ] 143
<NOCKY> OMFG
<NOCKY> I JUST WENT TO GET THINGI PRINTED OUT
<NOCKY> AT THE COLOR PRINTER
<NOCKY> AND SOMEONE ELSE PRINTED
<NOCKY> A CHUCK E CHEESE COUPON
<NOCKY> AND BETTER YET IT WAS ALL PIXELLATED AND SHITTLY
LOOKING
<wolfwork> astounding
#11415 [ + | - ] 133
<wolfwork> her zip drive was broken because HSE HAD NO ZIP
DISK TO PUT IN IT
<NOCKY> that's just poor design, isn't it
<NOCKY> (is what the dumby guy here says whenever computers
dont work for him because hes dumb)
#11410 [ + | - ] 323
<+Shaym> i progress in my VC++ learning :)
<+Shaym> hey
<+GoodScrat> baby shaym
<+Shaym> my boss want to make skinnables apps
<+stereo> hehe
<+Shaym> is it hard to do it ?
<+GoodScrat> Shaym, Where did you learn engish on the back of
a gum wrapper?
<+Shaym> excuse me for my poor "engish" ;)
#11402 [ + | - ] 35
<Nova> Damn that chick is so hot ill e-mail her
<Orion> Dude thats playboy.com you fool!
#11397 [ + | - ] 355
<zx64> ducktape is merely a physical manifestation of regexps
#11395 [ + | - ] 310
<dine-sa> no it won't MoP, amusment park jobs actually suck
<dine-sa> I had a friend who worked at six flags all summer.
<SA-MoP> dine had a friend! *dies* :D
<SA-Metathrom> Hehe
<dine-sa> :P it was before I had a modem
<SA-MoP> lol ok
#11393 [ + | - ] 459
<Dark_Brood> Next thing Mac will do is introduce the 1 button
keyboard, you type by morsing the ASCII codes of the letter
you want to write
#11391 [ + | - ] 611
<Dark_Brood> #define sizeof(x) rand()
<Rangsk> you can do that?
<Dark_Brood> Yup
<Catafriggm> OMFG!
<Catafriggm> That's disgusting!
#11389 [ + | - ] 251
<Cu-Ius> 'in an interview recently Keith Richards intimated
that kids should not do drugs. Keith Richards, said that kids
should not do drugs. Keith, we can't do any more drugs,
because you already fucking did them all. We have to wait
until YOU die, then smoke your ashes"
#11386 [ + | - ] 545
[00:45] [@{Defenderz}] WTF THE FUCK?