hQDB :: hacker Quote Database

Network Stats: 21103 Approved Quotes | 2 in Moderation Queue
#13921 [ + | - ] 79
<kineticupid> asian + mullet = cant get better
#13916 [ + | - ] 333
*** tate|work is now known as tate
<chaoticset_Perling> Hey tate
<tate> yo, chaotic
<tate> I just did two of the dumbest things possible
<chaoticset_Perling> ...first?
<tate> the first was staying up all night as part of a plan to
attempt to reset my internal clock
<chaoticset_Perling> ...and the second?
<tate> the second was laying down in bed two hours before work
thinking I could catch just one hour of sleep
<chaoticset_Perling> LOL!
#13900 [ + | - ] 278
<Elfhelm> ya can never have to much coffee.
<Elfhelm> the stuff is great for the soul
<Spriggan|UT> just like heroin .... i mean church
#13894 [ + | - ] 28
<sat985> u know how to overlock the chip defcon?
<Bouyo> Put your processor into mineral oil and you can
overclock a 300 Mhz to 1.5 Ghz ( This has been done )
#13887 [ + | - ] 228
<BlackNovember> Yesterday when I woke up I found my missing
Borknagar CD under my pillow.
<WinterDemon> Yeah, that's the "Cum residue on your hand
fairy"s way of repaying you for the left over man juice on
your hand after you finished beating off and passed out with
your hand under the pillow.
<BlackNovember> Whoa, so if i jerk off tonight and put my hand
under my pillow, I'll wake up with a Rotting Christ album
under it?
<WinterDemon> Yes, but not the album with a bonus disc, that
would be too greedy
#13883 [ + | - ] 299
<Nall> I'm so confused everytime I come in here. Either stop
changing your names, or like, start cybering with me, so I
fucking remember you.
#13876 [ + | - ] 1993
<@Beramode> nall?
<+Nall> Huh?
<@Beramode> are you outside my apartment?
<@Beramode> it sounds like someone's raping a duck out there,
but i don't wanna look, so i had to ask.
<+Nall> ...Are you room 7F?
<@Beramode> maybe..
<@Beramode> are you raping a duck?
<+Nall> maybe..
#13874 [ + | - ] 240
<Nall> ...you know what's funny? I was expecting to hit my
rock bottom a few minutes ago
<Nall> And yet... here I am, talking about scribbling vaginas
on my chest in order to spooge on myself
#13872 [ + | - ] 159
TX Luder : dude, i made "still fly" my ringtone, i am now
officially the coolest person
BeHeMoTh101 : reality check
BeHeMoTh101 : what color are you
#13868 [ + | - ] 41
<bpb> let's all play a game shall we?
<bpb> ok, everybody who has a line that is probably tapped
raise your hand
* bpb raises his hand
<bpb> now, raise your hand if you think iip is completely
secure ;)
#13857 [ + | - ] 320
<colins> Anyone got $50 to lend me, I'm thinking of taking
over WorldCom
<fallous> not anymore.  I just bought xerox for $27.95
<colins> you got ripped
<fallous> it included a new toner cartridge for my photocopier
#13853 [ + | - ] 25
<ken-ichijouji> This IQ test has too many questions, and one
third of it is repeats.
<Sushimon> ken ... the longer you go the lower your score gets
<Sushimon> it's just repeating the same ones
<ken-ichijouji> Figures.
<bliP> i took that 1 b4
#13851 [ + | - ] 397
<Shounen> The expression "smooth as a baby's bottom" is
socially acceptable.
<Shounen> But saying something is "tight as a baby's bottom"
gets you all kind of weird looks.
<ssai> you shoulda seen the looks i got when i said i had a
breast feeding fetish
#13850 [ + | - ] 162
<LeanaAnne> Oooh, I guess lacrosse builds up the ol' ass
muscles ^___^
<Seiya> Ha, so does being gay. :x
#13841 [ + | - ] 572
<yrlnry> When was 'O Canada' introduced?  Must have been
pretty recently---maybe in the 1960's?

<ignatz> "A Canada" through "N Canada" were failures.
Then
MacKenzie MacKenzie, a defrocked Mountie from Lard
Heights,
Alberta, had a flash of inspiration one day while
drinking
maple syrup.
<ignatz> The rest is history.
#13821 [ + | - ] 433
<Jonathan> Hey you know what's hard? Trying to move your toes
individually!
<Jonathan> I've been practicing though. My left foot's toes
are almost completely independent.
<Sumez> gee, Jon, what awaste of time
<Sumez> At least spend your time pulling your penis so it gets
longer or something else that's useful
<Jonathan> I have people who do that for me.
#13813 [ + | - ] 1534
<Leo-chan> I have a large warehouse full of large weapons of
mass destruction
<webrunner> Destroying mass is against the laws of
thermodynamics!
<Leo-chan> screw the laws of thermodynamics!
* Leo-chan pulls out a perpetual motion machine
* webrunner stops the machine
* webrunner holds out a "Thermodynamics Police" badge
#13753 [ + | - ] 1552
<Flirbnic> I have a time machine.
<Twilo> That's your fridge
<Flirbnic> Then explain how I can put perishable food items in
there and take them out several days later STILL FRESH?
#13746 [ + | - ] 318
<Blondebeard> Sumez: Why are you always confusing me with
Blood? :)
<Sumez> Blondebeard: Nick completer
<Ben Whatsisname> Blondebeard486 It's called typing "blo" and
hitting [tab]
<Ben Whatsisname> Sumez just isn't watching who he's "blo"ing.
:)
#13745 [ + | - ] 193
<Bone Man> anyone know how to setup a streming thingie for a
webcam
<RonWeasley> www.surveyorcorp.com get webcam32 and go crazy
<InsomniFox> bone- have you got a bible handy?
<Mort-Hog> Yes. The Bible tells you how to set up your webcam.
#13739 [ + | - ] 24
<Sumez> Did you fight Ozma?
<Darth-Phenom> Maybe...who's Ozma?
<Sumez> The bad-ass optional big boss
<Darth-Phenom> Where is he?
<Gaffa> Right behind you!
#13735 [ + | - ] 437
<Adam> C'mon, make me one more!
<God> You're out of ribs
<Adam> Here, take my spleen then!
#13734 [ + | - ] 472
<Sumez> Adam could just sacrifice another rib for another
woman. :P
<Nobuyuki`> sumez: yeah, and two more ribs and he wouldn't
need any more women
#13732 [ + | - ] 206
<[-FeC-]sKratch> PENISES
<[-FeC-]sKratch> random penis, sorry
<Kwyjimbo> i understand
<Kwyjimbo> i once did that while giving a speech in class...
<Kwyjimbo> i never did do to good in that class after that
#13731 [ + | - ] 270
<Otto[half-a-always]> I made AI smarter than George W. Bush
with 47 events
#13730 [ + | - ] 233
<ShadowCaster> since nobody is doing anything... lets see who
can be the FIRST to type the alphabet backwards with their
eyes
#13729 [ + | - ] 122
<Sumez> Echythus is just a weak wizard. He doesn't want to
retake the world.
<Sumez> He doesn't even have the power to enslave all humans.
<Twilo> Hitler didn't have magice powers but he took Poland.
#13728 [ + | - ] 195
<Darth-Phenom> So Sumez...how was Nadine?
<Sumez> Nice
<Sumez> She liked big cocks
<Sumez> And she did oral
<Yolkhead> Luckily you are a big cock then.
#13727 [ + | - ] 183
<Kimmo> I don´t know you
<Kimmo> Are you good at something?
<Otto[NS]> Yes
<Kimmo> What?
<Otto[NS]> Dames
<Otto[NS]> *Games
#13726 [ + | - ] 156
<Sumez> I must admit having two functional penises must have
it advantages
<Darth-Phenom> You could fuck a woman and piss at the same
time?
<Yolkhead> Would you really want to pee while having sex?
<Sumez> You miss to see the opportunities
#13725 [ + | - ] 78
<_emma_> I'm just like a Barbie doll, I come with all the
accesories <Mort-Hog> And you have your underwear melted on to
you? :)
<_emma_> Barbies in my day had no underwear
<Mort-Hog> What? My barbies all have their plastic underwear
molded on to their bodies
#13724 [ + | - ] -2
<djmax> temptress, But then I started seeing that the left was
more interested in handing out fish to the poor, than teaching
them how to catch fish themselves.
<Temptress> djmax: You are moron #1
#13723 [ + | - ] -2
<ChrisD[TK]> Sumez = Super fag0t Fighter 2 turbo champion
black belt edition
#13720 [ + | - ] 286
<Flirbnic> 26% of final doom has been... bought.
#13711 [ + | - ] 30
<theSonarch> is there a command for turning a number into a
string representation of a number?
<Aximili> yes
<Aximili> /msg Aximili (yournickservpassword)
#13707 [ + | - ] 310
-MemoServ- DALnet would like to recommend that you exercise
some standard password security precautions and regularly
change your password(s). Please remember that it is your
responsibility to remember your password(s).
<Huz> Hey, is that news post DALnet code for "We got hax0red
and someone saw everyone's passwords"? :)
#13687 [ + | - ] 833
<Darth-Phenom> But the SNES was only good for its games, much
like the PSX
<Pedgey> Well what else you gonna use it for? Making
toast?!!?!
#13686 [ + | - ] 2
<geforce2> get voodoo5 6000
#13670 [ + | - ] 122
<Cytoplasm[BLS]> #include <iostream.h>
<Cytoplasm[BLS]> void main(void) { float i = 0; while(true)
{cout << i; i+=1; }
<reptile0> umm congrats on your programming accomplishment
Cytoplasm[BLS]. John Carmack better watch out!
#13669 [ + | - ] 19
[23:24] *** Now talking in #nasa
[23:24] *** Topic is 'we get higher than any of you fools....
;) | i DO NOT give ops in this chan. end of story.'
[23:24] *** Set by rags on Fri Jul 05 16:21:59
[23:24] *** rags sets mode: +o Deth`
#13664 [ + | - ] 655
<Mack_Salmon> do you ever listen to Meat Loaf?
<Flirbnic> No.
<Mack_Salmon> he's food....
<Mack_Salmon> er!
<Mack_Salmon> he's good
<Mack_Salmon> whoops
#13655 [ + | - ] 1261
<MrCoulomb> ok, i'm taking out the 3 of spades, and reinsert
it into a random point
<MrCoulomb> and i assure you, it is random
<MrCoulomb> I'm now shuffling the cards
<MrCoulomb> and it's a real shuffle too
<MrCoulomb> Now.. I cut the deck.
<MrCoulomb> and there is your card
<MrCoulomb> the 3 of spades
<MrCoulomb> found instantly within a randomly shuffled deck
<Mort-Hog> How did you do that?..
#13634 [ + | - ] 353
<me tarzan> someone please tell me the name of disk 2 in the
curse
<Huz> Tarzan: "Disk 2". You should be able to find it in the
CD case you got when you bought the game. It's quite distinct,
being the only other CD in there other than "Disk 1", which is
also clearly labelled.
#13630 [ + | - ] 255
<Robertuybrush> HELLOW, I'M ROBERTUYBRUSH THREEPWOOD!
<Robertuybrush> I JUST WANT TO BE A PIRATE
<FortKeeper> To become a pirate, turn off CAPS-LOCK
#13629 [ + | - ] 573
<Flirbnic> The American dream is to move to Canada.
#13625 [ + | - ] 421
<Sumez> there's no way a girl could ever imagine the pain of
being hurt in the testicles
<Mort-Hog> emma: The pain oozes up, and your ahems swell up to
the size of pomigranits, your voice goes high and squeky, and
your eye lids flicker.
<MrCoulomb> I thought that's what happened when you get
possesed by mickey mouse...
#13621 [ + | - ] 223
<Mort-Hog> Is 'clenches' spelt right?
<Flirbnic> No, it's 'headphones'.
#13618 [ + | - ] 106
<spinner2019> i've got an error msg no such file 'file.mp3'
<Mutt-Away> Spinner: That's because the tidal winds in Africa
are continental.
#13617 [ + | - ] 247
<Ashe> I'm really busty this summer, with School and the trip
to Colorado.
<Ashe> busy
* Dingy feels busty this spring
#13608 [ + | - ] 288
<]Darkstar[> Everyone hit ctrl+v
* MMK[TP] hits ctrl+v... ctrl+v runs away
<MMK[TP]> Now I lost these two keys!