hQDB :: hacker Quote Database

Network Stats: 21103 Approved Quotes | 2 in Moderation Queue
#14195 [ + | - ] 191
<fsck> sorry, my penis confused me
<tika> s'ok.. we're used to it
#14194 [ + | - ] 51
<fsck> or maybe yanush gummed up the works with his seminal
fluid
<vicodin> no that wasnt yanush that was me
<vicodin> sry
#14190 [ + | - ] 581
<joey`> what was that url again langdon
<joey`> ircnews
<sharkbyte> http://www.ircnews.com/lamers.html
<joey`> langdon...tell people to stop answering questions for
you
<sharkbyte> langdon says no problem
<joey`> good
#14185 [ + | - ] 263
<Jon> The Force is very much like making love to a beautiful
woman...
<Atob> Jon: BEEN SAID
<Luke> YEAH JON
<Krista> Jon... someone used that one already
<Atob> Krista: BEEN SAID
#14178 [ + | - ] 514
*** Emo has joined #GDProject
<Emo> hwat kind of emo do u like emo?
<Emo> oh shit
<Emo> thats me
<Emo> lol
<Emo> boy do i look like a dumbass
<Emo> forgot i switched comps
#14175 [ + | - ] 228
<Adiemus> what country is .mk
<B|1nD> mexiko
#14166 [ + | - ] 143
<Doser> ill kick the shit out of him in an email if i dont get
it in 5days
#14162 [ + | - ] 40
<Doser> put a little red bull in a saucer for the FUCKING 12
yr old divorcees outside
#14139 [ + | - ] 239
<Choc> CARDIFF: Twelve people have been taken to hospital
after Spanish world title contender Carlos Sainz's Ford left
the road and hit spectators at the British rally here.
<morty> they were obviously cheering for another driver
#14137 [ + | - ] 215
<Miff`NickHunting> Have tragically nasty news
<Miff`NickHunting> Bath Bird, for those who dont know the
people directly below me built a bathroom on the outside of
their house and have a skylight allowing v. clear view of
their bathroom antics, has changed
<Miff`NickHunting> Shes gone from being slightly ok to this
new person
<Miff`NickHunting> Who I can only describe as..large
#14130 [ + | - ] 188
* fuzzy-lumpkinz was kicked by Soul|Reaver (Soul|Reaver)
<eX|remix-> soul why u ban fuzzy?
<eX|remix-> he has a hot sister
#14103 [ + | - ] 1118
<xxx> I think I'm having some problems with my sexlife...
<phunqe> oh? :/
<xxx> Yeah, yesterday my girlfriend and I wanted to have sex,
but I had a... hmm.. well you know.. problem..
<phunqe> Ah, no ping reply?
#14102 [ + | - ] 1096
<dphead> I think my cat is sick :(
<phunqe> Why?
<dphead> It's all twitchy and stuff...
<phunqe> I'm sure it's just lagged.
<phunqe> Check its fps.
#14100 [ + | - ] 177
<mommiebear44> so max....how long have you stopped smoking
for?
<|non_smoking_max|> let me see ....... about 1 hour 30 min ...
#14098 [ + | - ] 882
<phunqe> As I was walking home from work the other day, I saw
a funny ad in the subway. Instead of laughing quietly for
myself I actually said "lol" quite loud. The high voltage
tracks seemed very inviting at that point.
#14093 [ + | - ] 285
<Shandz> i just got an electric shock off the phone
<Quicksilver> static or live?
<Shandz> I dunno, think live
<Shandz> cos when i stuck my hand in again it shocked me again
*** Shandz is now known as Shandz|phone
#14086 [ + | - ] 537
<dudeforev> hehe
<dudeforev> my mom said what r u wathing
<dudeforev> i said pohrn
<dudeforev> she said well dont make a mess
<dudeforev> hehe
<[0sec]Hero_Man> hahahahaa
<[0sec]Hero_Man> your mom sounds cool
#14084 [ + | - ] 162
<Ixnorp> saber has a job?
<Zanok> yeah
<ducks> YES I HAVE HAD THIS JOB FOR ABOUT FOUR YEARS NOW
<Zanok> he manually masturbates animals for artificial
insemination
#14083 [ + | - ] 477
<Entwife>  I sometimes think we have one collective mind here
that we just pass around occasionally
<Entwife>  when we aren't using it as a coaster or something
#14079 [ + | - ] 636
<Mantis> Sorry guys, I've got to go and spend some time with
the gf
<Mantis> brb
#14076 [ + | - ] 594
<Jester-> *rapes Eevee a lot*
<Red_Sky> It's not rape if he enjoys it.
<Jester-> .... he?
#14072 [ + | - ] 179
<geekster> i'm thoroughly tempted to put mandrake on this
lappy
<geekster> think dad migh go ape when he boots it up at work
next
<drochaid> LOL
<durnik> geekster - LOL
<geekster> it'll interface with the netware servers no problem
<geekster> but won't interface with my dad atall
#14061 [ + | - ] 240
|bardamu| y'know, sometimes i'm tempted to start a site at
www.christianitykills.org detailing stories of christians who
went on murderous rampages or killed themselves after praying
and stuff
|bardamu| i'd get real controversial and get hundreds of
thousands of hits
|bardamu| and then one day i'd pull the plug and replace it
with an homage site to myself
|bardamu| surely that would be a good way to get lots of
attention
#14059 [ + | - ] 171
|foomanchoo| i have a crush on this lady with a mullet at
school, i think she has a 4 year old kid too
|Teargarden| a mullet?
|foomanchoo| yeah she looks terrible
|foomanchoo| maybe i feel sorry for her
#14055 [ + | - ] 1877
<foobar> the FUNNIEST tech glitch ive ever heard of happened
at my workplace
<foobar> ok.. so we run an internet storage service right?
and one of our clients is a large photo site that allows
people to upload pics and view them online
<foobar> well.. our software had a little bug in it ..
sometimes if a file is uploaded and not cached properly by the
system, the system will deliver the same file for hundreds or
thousands of different files
<foobar> so what happened is someone uploaded some bestiality
pictures, and those got caught in the cache, so everbody
uploading their 4th of july pics got them ALL replaced by the
same picture of a girl jerking off a horse
<foobar> 50,000 times
#14045 [ + | - ] 479
<Rosipam> (is glad she has AOL now)
<Rosipam> ^_^
...
<Zack`> Rosipam?
<Rosipam> Hello.
<Zack`> When did you get AOL?
<Rosipam> A few weeks ago.
<Zack`> What did you have before that?
<Rosipam> Microsoft Internet Explorer.
<Zack`> Ah
<Zack`> What do you like about AOL?
<Rosipam> It's faster.
<Zack`> Wow.
<Zack`> What was your old Internet connection?
*** Rosipam (quickchat@=RWNRPD119P.ipt.aol.com) Quit
(Connection reset by peer)
#14032 [ + | - ] 528
<Arky> im a repeat stupid
<Arky> haha funnily enough..i didn't mean to type stupid :/ i
meant to type student...i guess we can see why im repeating
now can't we....
#14031 [ + | - ] 367
<Pepper-> "Dear valued customer, it appears you have attempted
to transmit data through your modem. Here at iiNet, it is our
policy to stop all outgoing traffic from client's computers,
as it encourages rampant misuse of our outragesouly overpriced
and underserviced internet accounts. Please refrain from doing
this in future, and thank-you for your continued support of
our company."
#14028 [ + | - ] 26
<Pepper> BEEP BEEP YOU DONT HAVE ANCIENT 640x480 VESA DRIVERS
ISNTALLED IM NOT GONNA CONTINUE YOU SUCK BUY AN OLDER PC
<Pepper> BEEP BEEP EXTENDED MEMORY: 2408204282048208420 BYTES
INTEGER OVERFLOW DIVIDE BY ZERO CRASH
#14024 [ + | - ] 400
<Hayd1488> Any Intelligent Women here?
<grovibtch> yeah
<grovibtch> but they're not dumb enough to msg u
#14022 [ + | - ] -29
<Hempy> i said the funniest thing today
<Hempy> iwas quite impressed by my own wit
<Hempy> my mum was bitching to me about how i smoke to much
weed and how i have no motication and i go
<Hempy> "fuck... i have motivation... do you think its easy
getting up to go to the tinny house in the morning?~"
<Hempy> thats what i said
<Hempy> and it was funny
<rhythm> guess u had 2 be there
<rhythm> or not.
#14019 [ + | - ] 263
<ion-> at least she has correctly proportioned genetalia
<ion-> within two standard deviations from the mean
#14015 [ + | - ] 532
<TimMm> (_/)
<TimMm> (='.')
<TimMm> (")-(")
<rhythm> shoot it
<rhythm> shoot it now
#14014 [ + | - ] 1307
<Chelle> I'm gonna get something to eat - brb
<GreenDragon> If they had an eating contest Chelle would win.
<Slerte> Nah, I could eat her under the table any day.
<Slerte> err
#14012 [ + | - ] -50
[16:31:14] * flash- is away, back [log:OFF] [page:OFF]
#14006 [ + | - ] 153
<FPT-[away]> crotch fires and you: the untold story.
#14001 [ + | - ] 190
<demagogue> :(){ :|:&};:
<demagogue> type that at a bash prompt
<dg> not recommended
* Antony ssh'es to bacardi
<Antony> [1] 21057
<Antony> what does it do :'(
<ross> er I can't ssh to bacardi
<taz> 1:01pm up 3 days, 20:11, 4 users, load average: 714.55,
670.25, 890.24
#13996 [ + | - ] 389
<killah667> shit i left my jacket in another channel!!
<madlib> wich one!?
<killah667> #lobby
#13973 [ + | - ] 1083
<Zack`> I wore my boxers backwards all day yesterday
<shea_> haha
<Zack`> And I didn't realize it until I scratched my ass
<Zack`> And my hand went through the slot and made contact
with my crack
<Zack`> And I was like WTF
#13970 [ + | - ] 435
<TrashCanB0B> Oregon
<snowchyld> isnt orgeon a cookie ?
<snowchyld> wait
<snowchyld> thats an oreo
#13969 [ + | - ] 535
<[]qube> Plz, someone tell me where i can download GEFORCE 4,
i need it, i got so low fps in cs =( /msg me FAST!!!!!!!
#13954 [ + | - ] 116
<TripleAgent> well i didnt really, but ive poked my cats
testicles...theyre are big...for a cat
#13947 [ + | - ] 156
<KidDynamite> my tribes2 updater is out of date and i need to
update my updater
#13946 [ + | - ] 242
<URinsane> i'll restart after i sync my palm
<element> oh fancy pants with a palm
<URinsane> HANDSPRING VISOR EDGE BIZATCH
<element> do you keep your bitchs digits on there
<URinsane> hell yea
<element> do you stylus them in at bars
<URinsane> i whip that shit out
<element> HOLD ON I CANT FIND MY STYLUS
<element> DONT LEAVE
<element> ARE YOU SOBERING UP
<element> ILL BUY YOU ANOTHER
<element> JUST DONT LEAVE
<URinsane> pfft plz when u have as sexy of a pda as me you
dont need to buy them drinks
<element> yeah thats just wasted money for them to find out
you are a nerd and not sleep with you anyway
<element> now you have a warning device
#13937 [ + | - ] 308
{TSL}-{Capo>School crams the giant cock of knowledge down your
throat.
#13936 [ + | - ] 26
<V|-Nicotine> cog, i think u should go and be eaten in third
world countries :P
#13935 [ + | - ] 460
<total> fucking fantastic phone
<total> phone = movie
#13927 [ + | - ] 48
<Meke|Sleep> Lates, thanks.  I'll tell the people of the world
that IRCops aren't big bad ogres who like to hurt innocent
pieces of cheese with their claws.
#13925 [ + | - ] 42
<@Jamie_M> a log that proves ZXD bought his girlfriend at wal
mart
<@Jamie_M> THIS COULD BE FUN
#13923 [ + | - ] 1638
<djamok> wb justin
<JFlex> wb yourself, mother fucker.
<JFlex> Oh, welcome back, I get it.