hQDB :: hacker Quote Database

Network Stats: 21103 Approved Quotes | 2 in Moderation Queue
#14647 [ + | - ] 276
<zed> I wonder what kind of look my dad would give me if I
said "dpkg dash
dash purge coca dash cola" as I chucked an empty coke
bottle into
the recycling bin.
#14638 [ + | - ] 953
<Noctornus-> you know what they say about a guy with small
hands......
<+Anton> "He doesn't have big hands"?
#14632 [ + | - ] 307
<Adie> I could see pinching pain but fire pain?
<Adie> owwwie
<Cel|Work> its quick
<HeiWork> you just need to moisten the breast a little so the
vaporizing liquid absorbs the heat instead of the breast
<HeiWork> really, there's hard scientific reasons for why i
need to lick your titties
#14631 [ + | - ] 360
<ne|l> hmm, think i was supposed to get married today
<pilt> i know, she just told me from under the desk.
#14629 [ + | - ] 75
(@Drizzt): being fat = broken
(@Drizzt): it got me off army for obesity :D
#14627 [ + | - ] 249
*** Lachlann was kicked by Gromph (omg , are u illeterate?)
#14625 [ + | - ] 52
(@Cloud7): CACK OR HOTDOG
(@Cloud7): THAT IS THE QUESTION
(@RaiNiNG): hotdog tastes better
(@Cloud7): i doubt it
#14624 [ + | - ] 303
(WoHo): im as pure as a virgin :D
(Lachlann): take out the 2nd, 3rd and 4th word from woho's
sentence and it's true
#14623 [ + | - ] 338
(_3TS|ZaW): ahh yes...i recall when i first lit my nuts
ablaze...it was in chemistry...it said "light the burner." and
when i was lighting it, my pants slipped off and my penis
flopped over the bunson burner...darndest thing...
#14622 [ + | - ] 517
<JessiA> Listed as a previous job on a resume:  Domestic
Goddess      <-  Me
<Wilik> so you were a house wife?
<JessiA> No
<JessiA> But I take care of my house a lot
<Wilik> so you were a house wife minus the wife part
<JessiA> basically
<Courtland> lol
<Courtland> so you are a house?
<Wilik> I guess that makes you a house
#14621 [ + | - ] 41
(@Grantfly): i'm actually rubbing my balls right now
(@Grantfly): i wonder if my parents' keyboard is gonna smell
like my balls
(@Grantfly): they might not like that
#14619 [ + | - ] 227
(@Kensey): what's a cack
(@TheNoid): kensey: PENIS
(@Kensey): cool i have a cack
#14618 [ + | - ] 288
<SpeedSk8X> 21 is too fucking old :( :( :(
<type[s]> bah
<type[s]> i'm 22
<type[s]> i think
<type[s]> yeah, 22
#14609 [ + | - ] 35
<[ryan]> there have been many times that i popped a boner on
accident and i was like
<[ryan]> in a cold sweat
<[ryan]> trying to get that mother down
#14608 [ + | - ] 374
<[ryan]> jack i have more mariokart hours than your airline
pilot has flight hours on flights
<class> hours or not
<class> ill let my shells do the talking
<class> and your ass do the eating
<[ryan]> in a pure race i'd own you
<[ryan]> weapons only make things more complicated
<class> thats like saying 'when you take the hard element out
of the game I ROCK
#14602 [ + | - ] 224
<Wilik> I should make a virus
<Wilik> one that installs the bible on the a computer
<Fishbait> rofl
<Fishbait> that'd be a huge as bible
<Fishbait> err virus
<Wilik> rofl
<Wilik> yea
<Wilik> it goes in
<Wilik> and everytime you open a .avi
<Wilik> it'll say thats against the law of god
<Fishbait> the lord shall smite thy porn
<Wilik> and crash wmp
#14600 [ + | - ] 205
<Wilik> i'd download the .txt version of the bible
<Wilik> but it might corrupt my computer
#14596 [ + | - ] 46
<+pfk-serv> your married...thats interesting....your
constantly downloading porn...i figure you were just like the
rest of us...perverts
#14592 [ + | - ] 439
<ElZango> I was introduced to Tolkein by a trio of British
social scientists in Peru who also introduced me to Marxism.
<ElZango> They tossed LotR at me and said "it's reactionary,
but amusing." I was 11.
<FuzLogic> <ElZango> they let me sleep in the closet when I
was good.
#14591 [ + | - ] 119
<@odoyle> guess how much the whole divorce costed me?
<+xenu> 100,000$
<@odoyle> not a penny
<@odoyle> the nice lawyer lady next door did it for free
<@[KdAwG]> odoyle: boom boom?
<@odoyle> nah
<@[KdAwG]> pft
<@[KdAwG]> you know you hit that ;)
#14589 [ + | - ] 260
<+CmOrHaIr> i can put a computer together and be prepareing
the hdd in 20 min
<+CmOrHaIr> or 15 even
<+Jackworks> CmOrHaIr: if u do it in 15 i bet i can make it in
14
* ^Caliban makes sure to avoid any computers put together by
Cmor or Jack
#14583 [ + | - ] 146
*** mad-splat (~mad-splat@2-170.borcpe.cableone.net) has
joined #programming
<mad-splat> @find *turbo*c++*
<mad-splat> @find *codewarrior*
<dos622> @find you*being*banned
*** mad-splat (~mad-splat@2-170.borcpe.cableone.net) has left
#programming
#14582 [ + | - ] 669
<@dos622> apple told his parents he was gay
<@dos622> so he could go on a overnight type trip with a girl
#14581 [ + | - ] 685
<@crystalis> I wish I had a vagina
<@crystalis> I'd keep stuff in it
<@crystalis> like car keys and stuff
#14575 [ + | - ] 721
<prick> "ALRIGHT LIVEJOURNAL FRIENDS IM KILLING MYSELF NOW!
PLEASE LEAVE COMMENTS TELLING ME NOT TO!  SEE YOU TOMORROW FOR
THE NEXT INSTALLMENT OF "IM GOING TO KILL MYSELF [CURRENT
MUSIC: NIN]"
#14572 [ + | - ] 202
<hewbert> goths have been progressivly wearing less clothing
as the years have gone by
<hewbert> how shamless!
<hewbert> they should be progressivly wearing more and MORE
clothing
<hewbert> until they are bundled up with 200 pound parkas
<Unfy> they would have names like goth_eskimo_69
<hewbert> you could save on facepaint by using snow
#14571 [ + | - ] 131
<Cardsfan> ethan - do u know by any chance how to get rid of
something out of dev manager in windows xp?  it says it cannot
delete it because it may be required for the computer to boot
#14569 [ + | - ] 234
<Baby_Gurl16> Does any one here have a thousand dollars i
could borrow to bail my boyfriend out of jail with if so
please msg me
#14568 [ + | - ] 151
<prick> guess who gets to touch breasts daily? IT'S ME.
<prick> god just imagine, jojo your life
<prick> you wake up in the morning. BREASTS
<prick> you eat some lunch. BREASTS.
<prick> RIPE, FIRM AND WAITING TO BE TOUCHED
<prick> I WOULD LOVE THAT! OH WAIT.....
#14567 [ + | - ] 99
<radar1976> want it?
<Spamalope> depends
<Spamalope> how big is it?
<radar1976> 6 inchs
<radar1976> kidding!
<radar1976> how big is too big?
<Spamalope> Well.. I don't want to be downloading all day
<radar1976> nah
<radar1976> if I had the space I would put it on my co lo site
<radar1976> but I can't :(
<Spamalope> that's okay
<Spamalope> are you just going to send here or what?
<radar1976> no putting in on my web server
<Spamalope> sounds good :P
<Spamalope> just tell me where it's at when you're ready
<radar1976> give it 4 mins
<Spamalope> Bah. You're done in 4 mins?
<Spamalope> What a waste of 6 inches :P
#14562 [ + | - ] 493
<Santa_Claus> FOR YOU, LEMMER... A LOT OF BEER
<lemmer> HOORAY
<Santa_Claus> FOR YOU, COOLZX... A GIRLFRIEND
<coolzx> NOW I HAVE 34
<Santa_Claus> FOR YOU, BENCO... A BOYFRIEND
<Benco> ^_^
#14558 [ + | - ] 189
<Fishfood> EVERYONE NET PERSON I HAVE MET HAS ENDED UP SUCKING
MY COCK
<Eurakarte> WOW, I HAVE GOT TO MEET YOU
<Funk> that's why I don't want to meet you
<Fishfood> I HARDLY THINK THAT'S YOUR CHOICE
<Fishfood> YEAH I BET THE ONLY REASON FUNK DOESN'T WANT TO
MEET ANYONE IS THAT HES ONLY JUST STARTED HIGH SCHOOL
<Funk> That's why Fish wants to meet me
#14554 [ + | - ] 19
<fsdf> I DONT CARE I DONT LIKE TALKING TO NAZIS
<fsdf> ESP. JEWISH NAZIS
#14552 [ + | - ] 566
<prick> I hate parents who add letters to their kids'
otherwise normal names
<prick> Or change them
<prick> "JESSICKA" "TIPHANIE"
<prick> Do you really think that your child will be unique or
sparkling because of the confusion associatedwith their name?
<prick> All you're doing is setting her up for a lifetime of
spelling out her name to strangers
#14544 [ + | - ] 50
<@Chibi> You know you're pathetic when roaches are bigger than
your penis :o
#14539 [ + | - ] -17
<Funk> I just watched the Tomb Raider film
<Lammy> WOW YOU WONT WATCH HARRY POTTER BUT YOU WILL WATCH
TOMB RAIDER
<Funk> UHH I watched Harry Potter the night it opened, spastic
<Lammy> OH
<Lammy> BESIDES YOU JUST USED THE WORD 'SPASTIC'
<Lammy> WHICH NEGATES ANY POINT YOU MAKE ON ACCOUNT OF BEING
RETARDED
#14538 [ + | - ] 218
<usrg>  cigarettes are carcinogenic, too
<oink2u> actually, it's the smoke that you inhale from the
cigarette that's carcinogenic
<usrg> well DUH  :-P
<usrg> you don't eat the damn thing!
#14533 [ + | - ] 382
<Vedic> Boiling cheese = DON'T EAT
#14531 [ + | - ] 28
<homerj`> what do I know? I load slashdot and get a pink
screen
<splice> sounds like your sex life
#14530 [ + | - ] 672
*** Darth-Phenom is now known as Guest38697
*** Sopabuena is now known as Guest21415
*** TheRealMatt is now known as Guest60273
*** Whitney is now known as Guest15303
<Flirbnic> Hey, cool. The sum of all the Guest numbers that
just occurred in here, divided by 8, equals 16961.
<Flirbnic> $calc((15303+60273+38697+21415)/8)
<Flirbnic> ...
<Flirbnic> I have no life.
<TheRealMatt> no... no you don't
#14528 [ + | - ] 265
<AutistiCat> I'm forgetful.
<AutistiCat> Yet I can remember 50 digits of pi...
<Arcman> That's why, see.  That took up all your brain space.
#14526 [ + | - ] 1446
<oneo|SUMMER> the US has some of the best schools in the
nation
#14521 [ + | - ] 149
<B|ack> I hate stupid people
<B|ack> god im so stupid.....
#14519 [ + | - ] 288
Craig> craig's penis - 8===========================D O: -
spooky
<Spooky> Your "penis" is less that 3 inches long.
#14518 [ + | - ] 73
* Craig thinks what it would be like if he had a 20" peins...
<Spooky> You'd have to wear a kilt
<Villager> you'd need to buy more bin liners
<Craig> would I collapse if I got an erection?
<Spooky> And you could never ride a motorcycle
#14515 [ + | - ] 267
<m0bi_work> what is the "care for the comfort of a dying
person" called
<hydro-> euthanasia
#14513 [ + | - ] 298
<Stay99>but anyway, back to me. I want to be the ruler of the
world. Sometimes-I play ruler of the world in my basement when
noone else is home
#14511 [ + | - ] 664
(@CitizenC): I'd pay $100 US to shoot a cow with a rocket
launcher.
#14510 [ + | - ] 210
<nightfal> diffused: Runtime().exec() is just a shortcut to
((Satan)System.getPropety("SATAN")).burnMyFaceOff
(). Don't do it
#14509 [ + | - ] 1036
<Joe> Who invented l33t-speak?
<Evil_Lawn_Gnome> Joe, I did.
<milencho880> i invented it
<Joe> Really? Good. I always wanted to meet the world's
biggest fucking idiots.