hQDB :: hacker Quote Database

Network Stats: 21103 Approved Quotes | 2 in Moderation Queue
#14776 [ + | - ] 1063
<Psinic> windows 98 is like that drunk uncle that thinks he
knows everything and always tries to convince you he was a CIA
operative, and when you argue, he gets violent and then passes
out.
#14775 [ + | - ] 165
<webba> A movie doesn't have to have 3 gay guys talking about
bagels to be good.
#14761 [ + | - ] 302
<deltax> your not to smart
<SofaKing> too smart
<SofaKing> your not that bright yourself
#14755 [ + | - ] 24
<morbid> shh we are sleeping.
<myn> morbid you awake?
#14753 [ + | - ] 190
<morbid> I had this plan
<morbid> i was going to join the band
<morbid> and kill myself, and leave my tuba there.
<morbid> it would explain it all
#14750 [ + | - ] 598
<gee-1> we should market heart monitor devices that're like
implanted. so if you die, it'll remotely run a program, to
like make your computer log in, get on irc, and msg your
friends that you're dead
#14747 [ + | - ] 144
* lastgrrl silently chuckles very loud
#14746 [ + | - ] 267
<|dxb|-XeS`006-> i have a nuclear bomb
<Mercury}W{> I bet its in your pants too.
<ONP-Trugoy> great now this channel is being monitored by the
gov't
#14745 [ + | - ] 196
<ninrh> like shes cool, but seems like maybe the kind of
person who goes back to their high school and blows it up
kinda thing
#14743 [ + | - ] 61
<GoDMoNi> it's like if someone asked what i liked about myself
<GoDMoNi> i'd have to say, "cause i give good head"
#14741 [ + | - ] 298
<[KoF]Pyramus> you wound me, sir
<EdgeCrusher> sorry
<EdgeCrusher> ill hit harder
#14738 [ + | - ] 150
<tortoise> what should i name my turtles?
<archon> name one kurt, and one courtney, and blow one's head
off with a shotgun
#14733 [ + | - ] 263
<tortoise> this channel is only big enough for one
slut.....and i aint' leaving
#14729 [ + | - ] 254
<Sin> there must be a better way to get money then to actulyl
get a job
#14727 [ + | - ] 283
<DistORt> is anyone here actually an op
<DistORt> or are you all just clever lines of script
#14722 [ + | - ] 44
<meatpie> Cuz I'm a mean nasty cruel asshole who wants to make
the entire world eat a loaf of his shit while he stands on
high and has his schlong adored by a bunch of really hot red
heads with bald snatch!!!!!!!!!!!
<dorqus> meatpie: you sound like marilyn manson
#14719 [ + | - ] 54
<nonplused> anal sex is funny
<nonplused> but hey
<nonplused> not that id turn that shit down
#14718 [ + | - ] 301
<ChlOrPh> it's rillY frustrating to wanna fuck someone who
doesn't exist
#14716 [ + | - ] 175
<eden2> t_r: heh, patrick and i went and saw star wars last
night......and i saw the WHOLE thing this time
<eden2> ...the whole movie, that is
#14714 [ + | - ] 147
<hellraiser> dude theres shit more important than grls
<eV-RaVaGeD> dude shes fuckin hot and she wants me :)
<eV-RaVaGeD> and theres more to life than Q1DM Tourneys
<hellraiser> yeah rights its prolly jus some 30yr old fat guy
in his basement waitin to meet u somewhere to ass rape u in a
public bathroom n video tape it, make copies and sell em on
eBay for 9.99
#14712 [ + | - ] 94
<antivert> flah. semen's nasty.
<antivert> except.. on nachos..
#14711 [ + | - ] 494
<Snacktify> what happens if a girl who is in the olympics is
going to have her period during competition?
<deltax> then they put off the 100m cunnilingus for a week
<deltax> "this event cancelled due to bad turf" etc
#14710 [ + | - ] -160
<zombie-x> nothing wrong with a little punanny in yer fuckin
mouth
<zombie-x> suck that clit like a fuckin tequila worm
#14709 [ + | - ] 242
<deltax> i saw a dog teabag another dog today
#14707 [ + | - ] 217
<Tomes> rpenguin is the picture of credibility, you know.
<Tomes> rpenguin is the standard of integrity to whom all
others are compared
<Tomes> when i meet a man, i ask, in true socratic method, "is
this a greater man, or a lesser man, than rpenguin?"
#14705 [ + | - ] 179
<Brujah_> Bubble Gum Cute: (adjective) Conventionally cute,
sweet, and lending itself well to being chewed up for a while
and then spit out when the user is done with it.  eg. "She was
OK...not hot, but bubble gum cute."
#14704 [ + | - ] 385
<PTM> when i was ten...
<PTM> (interesting story, no?)
<PTM> i was messing around with a neighbor girl
<PTM> and like
<PTM> it was mostly naked wrestling
<PTM> with penetration
<PTM> but no orgasms.
<Damsel> you fucking fucked at 10?
<PTM> well if that's your definition of fuck, i suppose
#14703 [ + | - ] 46
<blue_> Bullshit I am very smart dl and you fucking no it
#14702 [ + | - ] 245
<th0m> i've had cocaine stuck in my ass since then
<PTM> *snort*
#14701 [ + | - ] 217
<th0m> have you ever had a booger that looked like it was
designed by h. r. giger
#14700 [ + | - ] 9
<b0ing> I listen dark evil jungle and pounding acidy goa, not
happy 'i love you, you love me, lets go in the bathroom and
fuck because we are fags' music.
#14697 [ + | - ] 559
<kRadD3ViL> fUk1n n0n-31337 h4x0rz! t4lk l1k3 n00bZ!!!!
<evildewr> hey, i used to speek like that.. but it don't make
you leet with women
<kRadD3ViL> WhY u s4y d4t n00b?
<evildewr> cuz my girlfriend dumped me for using numbers when
we communicated
<kRadD3ViL> u h4d a g1rlfr13nd? fuk1ng 31337!!!!! g1rls s0und
1337!
#14696 [ + | - ] 135
<Psychic-A> if i move its vancouver
<Psychic-A> unless i can get in the usa...but its hard no?
<James> are you muslim?
#14692 [ + | - ] 239
<ShoeFlip6058>: I made this screenplay where a serial killer
goes to random victims houses, goes into their bedrooms, and
screams "DON'T WAKE UP" in their faces while they sleep. The
wake up, see him, and they die of fright
<ShoeFlip6058>: I would cast Christopher Walken as the killer
<Claypeople>: Dude, if i saw christopher walken in person I'd
die of fright
<Jenova>: He's a scary mofo
#14690 [ + | - ] 819
Zedd: i fucking hate kids.
IronHelix: They won't shut up. Ever.
Zedd: Fucking annoying brats.  They serve no practical purpose
other than taking up valuable resources.
IronHelix: They scream when they're happy. They scream when
they're scared. They scream when you toss them in the garbage
disposal. It never ends!
#14687 [ + | - ] 212
<player> oh i lag hard
<geez> lag=?
<player> that means my connection is slow
<geez> oh... i thought you said something dirty..
#14686 [ + | - ] 351
<pKx> My car was running without the battery installed.. man,
the alternator was spilling amps all over my driveway
<pKx> how do you clean that shit up?
<`72`Monte> lol pkx :>
<spazzer> i usually use a dirty sock
<spazzer> oh
<spazzer> wrong topic
#14685 [ + | - ] 359
<Abbadaba> man when i kick burn me and toss my ashes on some
beach somewhere
<Abbadaba> yes
<Abbadaba> tan girls in thongs lying on me
<Abbadaba> something i could never have in life i get in death
<Abbadaba> amen
#14683 [ + | - ] 113
[:: The_Brain] --> ppp9-2.aquanet.co.il
[:: riksta] --> leet dialup
[:: riksta] --> i feer u
[:: The_Brain] --> its a vhost that makes you *think* its a
dialup
[:: The_Brain] --> its actually an oc-48
[:: riksta] --> oc48 in isreal dont make me laugh
[:: riksta] --> u barely got electricity
#14674 [ + | - ] 1024
<Normandy> I told my sis to go to hotmail to set up her own
email account, and she went to www.hotmale.com and now she
thinks I'm gay ;(
#14669 [ + | - ] 938
<@Aureal> Wow, free web space for only $15.
#14668 [ + | - ] 680
toAzron1:Did you ever notice, when you are sitting at a red
light, that when the person in front of you pulls up a couple
of inches, you are compelled to move up too? Do we really
think we are making progress toward our destination? "Whew, I
thought we would be late, but now that I am nine inches
closer, I can stop for coffee and a danish!"
#14666 [ + | - ] 504
[02:17:43]   +wysiwyg sings "your no good for me i dont need
nobody, dont need no one thats no good for me"
[+wysiwyg] and if ne1 points out it should be "you're" ill
kill em
[@Miz] i'll
+wysiwyg slaps Mr Pedantic with a flacid kipper
[Sarcho] flaccid?
[+wysiwyg] oh fuck off
#14664 [ + | - ] 291
<Dejocko> I lose 50 IQ points when i talk to girls, no fair
<GIJosh> you had 50?
#14663 [ + | - ] 1998
*** NeoCid[nothere] is now known as NeoCid
[learninggermanhistory]
<imag|WC3> I thought it said "learning nigger man history" at
first
#14662 [ + | - ] 738
<Funk> I need money fast.
<wildkarrdex> ok I have an idea
<Funk> What?
<wildkarrdex> well you send me £100 by cheque
<Funk> And then?
<wildkarrdex> and then what?
#14658 [ + | - ] 368
<Funk> Apparently Lisa Left-Eye Lopez would have survived that
crash, only the hospital heard about her strict "no scrubs"
rule.
#14652 [ + | - ] 983
<[Waste-TkO-Sc-`nnG]-a> Ah man
<[Waste-TkO-Sc-`nnG]-a> can u believe rthat/
<[Waste-TkO-Sc-`nnG]-a> i was walking out of the bathroom
<[Waste-TkO-Sc-`nnG]-a> like really fast
<[Waste-TkO-Sc-`nnG]-a> and my belt loop got caught on the
door
<[Waste-TkO-Sc-`nnG]-a> I swung around and smacked into the
wall
<[Waste-TkO-Sc-`nnG]-a> Damn that hurt
#14651 [ + | - ] 40
<foop> what the fuck is stealing all my megahurtz
#14648 [ + | - ] 15
<pandz>the computer guy at the store told me to flash my
bios...i says to him flash this...