hQDB :: hacker Quote Database

Network Stats: 21103 Approved Quotes | 2 in Moderation Queue
#20987 [ + | - ] 145
gree: this girl asked me whats wrong, i told her im a
different man when i run linux
#20980 [ + | - ] 240
<kisama_> the things i do to get my porn on
<kisama_> gonna wait until 1 am
<kisama_> then move comp into the bathroom
#20978 [ + | - ] 1948
<rzrshrp> I want food
<NickBlasta> build more farms
#20976 [ + | - ] 157
<maalox> The period between clicking on a link to stileproject
and waiting for the picture to load is probably the most
intense feeling since when I first penetrated myself with a 2
liter
#20973 [ + | - ] 687
<Fredo> wanna see something cool?
<Dementio> no, the last time someone said do you wnna see
something cool i ended up pregnat
#20940 [ + | - ] 198
<Adrennalyne> i want icecream but its like 4am :/
<viscera> you can't always get what you want, but if you run
fast enough, can tiptoe effectively and carry a large, blunt
instrument at all times, sometimes, possibly, maybe you can
beat it into an amnesia hazed coma long enough to play
make-believe
<viscera> life is grand, no?
#20929 [ + | - ] 634
<anti-hero> how do u do the quote things?
<@renetiq> anti-hero you have to write a script :P
<anti-hero> like a play?
<@Oz> rofl
<@renetiq> lol
<anti-hero> how do u do it then?
<anti-hero> i dont have time to write a play
#20928 [ + | - ] 277
<damocles> osama bin laden is hiding in my shed.  I feed him
boiled cabbage once a week, and when he sleeps I read the
bible to him
#20924 [ + | - ] 303
<Chebarak> dude where you live?
<Ildefonse> i live in the netherlands
<Chebarak> right
<Chebarak> so where you live ?
#20922 [ + | - ] 25
Brax-SP: Now, a for a test of group effort. Everyone decide
who should ask the next question. I need a unanimous vote.
Morrolan: owch
Bruxail: Morrolan!
Xerin: Morrolan
Ildefonse: Morrolan
Morrolan: whoah
BowenTheKotoc: Morollan
Omni: Morr
Raven|E: Morollan
Primalmoon: Primalmoon
Bruxail: hehe
Omni: whered that come from :)
Ildefonse: OMG..
Faeleia: dork
Primalmoon: Morrolan I guess..
#20920 [ + | - ] 167
<[PtFe]Harrison> If I ever purchased a firearm, it'd have to
be something like...  I dunno...  A fifty calibur sniper
rifle.  If I'm going to get a gun, I might as well be able to
punch a hole in a tank, you know?
<[LsR]Darrian> lol
<[LsR]Hotwire> law launcher for me. if it dont blow stuff up,
i dont want it.
<[LsR]Darrian> I just want something I can whip out in the
middle of a strip joint and yell "suck it, bitch!"
#20891 [ + | - ] 658
<Fraud> hehe ill never forget in math class in high school
back in the day, 2 negros get in a fight and one stabs the
other with a screw driver right in front of me when im like a
freshman, then some black girls stands up and screams OH SHEET
HE STABBED CORNBREAD
#20879 [ + | - ] 699
<GameBot> 133.  What three letters are overly used to indicate
'Laugh Out Loud'?
<Wolf-Olo> heh
#20875 [ + | - ] 642
<cainispissyill> YES YES YES YES YES YES YES
<cainispissyill> GOOOOO MATH!
<cainispissyill> GOOOOO STATISTICS!
<badtz-maru> GOOOOOOOOOOO AWAY
#20872 [ + | - ] 517
<orf> animals are just refridgerators
<orf> they keep the meat fresh till yer ready to eat it
#20788 [ + | - ] 826
<Murgatroyd> You know you've been playing Nethack too much
when...
<Murgatroyd> You look both ways down the corridor, start to
sweat... then realise you're looking at your EMail address.
#20782 [ + | - ] 163
<Shastao> ...which is more disturbing, the fact we calculated
a weird, weird way to go impossible distances in virtually no
time, or the fact you can become a minister online? :P
#20761 [ + | - ] 97
<lewney> I remember being wasted last night; I went to the
bathroom and shared an asla with some other guy
<lewney> cause there was a long queue
<lewney> to the bathrooms...
<lewney> yes, I'll shut up now.
#20759 [ + | - ] 198
<z|davies> quote: "this looks object oriented" when he saw a
spinning cube on
the screen... I think he misunderstood object
oriented =)
#20757 [ + | - ] 276
<[DMK]Relvox> can anyone tell me what "BUST A CAP" means?
<DrStrangelove> It means they'll friggin slit your throat if
you use caps, ever again.
#20755 [ + | - ] 752
<Teirlap> Nickelback needs to be shot. All of them.
<Bucky> Why stop there?
<Teirlap> Uh... Because I need to reload?
#20753 [ + | - ] 256
<Gothmog> hmmm... we keep on changing our nicks to reflect
what we're doing... so how come when we're chatting, we don't
change our nicks to whatever|IRC?
<Gothmog> Gothmog: asking the hard questions since 2002
#20750 [ + | - ] 32
<Wing_Zero> cyxx: http://www.d8.dion.ne.jp/~marquis/
yamato31.jpg
<cyxx> that's like...6
<cyxx> wait..fuck
* cyxx curses his nick
<cyxx> I mean
* Nakago curses 6
* cyxx gives up and goes to the corner
#20749 [ + | - ] 35
<clairey> a blowjob is fobbing someone off half the time
because you couldnt be fucked.  pardon the pun.
#20748 [ + | - ] 641
<ShadowMouse> bye
<Coan_Arcanius> bye
<[Bryan]> bye
<cams> bye
<[Bryan]> (damn we sound like a boy band)
#20747 [ + | - ] 123
* infinitySPZ gives it to Wolf-Olo in the butt.
* Wolf-Olo howls
<Peri> aww how cute
<infinitySPZ> $replace($1-,it,Peri)
<Wolf-Olo> Bastard
<Wolf-Olo> We were just getting close
#20744 [ + | - ] 876
(Duo): HOW HARD DO I HAVE TO PULL THIS STUPID JUMPER
(Rai): hm
*** Duo has quit IRC (Connection reset by peer)
(Rai): That was too hard.
#20740 [ + | - ] 1454
<Inignot> here is a magic trick Mordecai - think of a card in
a stardard deck and type done and I will tell you the card.
<Mordecai> done
<Inignot> 10 of diamonds!
<Mordecai> I was thinking 'blue mana'
#20739 [ + | - ] 261
** ragum sets mode: +b *!*@Baseball.conversation
<mrclean> guerrero is the best hitter in baseball
<ragum> excuse me
<ragum> didn't I just ban baseball talk?
<ragum> I could've sworn I did
*** HighChief sets mode: +b *!*@fat.ass.chicks
<HighChief> Didn't I just ban all american females?
<HighChief> I could have sworn i did
<Atlantic`> ROFL
#20696 [ + | - ] 738
<Rasix> I like tits and I don't want anything rammed up my ass
nor do I want a cock in my mouth. I'd say that makes me
hetero.
<Rodent> Heh.
<SirBruce> Honesty is the best policy
<SirBruce> Rasix - What about your cock in someone else's
mouth?
<NephKa> jesus
<Rodent> Well, I for one don't belive Bi is the natural state.
<Rasix> Female, yes, man no.
<@Technogeek> Hey, if I'm getting a blowjob, I don't care who
it's from as long as they don't bite it off.
<SirBruce> But blindfolded you wouldn't know the difference
<NephKa> i care, it has to be a chick
<Rodent> Unless you felt a beard by the balls.
<NephKa> lol
<SirBruce> Only because you've been trained that way by
society.
<Rasix> that's not an issue, when the fuck would I stand
around blind folded waiting for a blowjob
#20645 [ + | - ] 312
<AvatarADV> Condensed version: "How the hell did his KNIGHTS
shoot down my strategic bombers?!"
<ShadowLotus> LOL
<meep_meep> lol. catapults
#20623 [ + | - ] 334
[aq] i love irc quotes
[ob0t] i hate them
[ob0t] i always end up looking like a retard
#20541 [ + | - ] 1208
<JBurna> lol you got free AOL knowin AOL sucks ass
<Demi> Its
<Demi> Free.
<@Prowler> So is gum on the bottom of chairs.
#20537 [ + | - ] 197
<Communista> I'm going to hell.
<Communista> I'm just a wicked person.
<Communista> I was on lunch with the trainees and a news story
came on about the showing (funeral) of a man that drowned...
<Communista> and I turned to them and said "Wanna go see a
dead body?"
#20528 [ + | - ] 387
<Nugget94M> I remember when my mom first got on the internet,
about 2 years ago. She *almost* had it figured out.
<Nugget94M> she managed to use a search engine, and found a
web page she was interested in.
<Nugget94M> so she printed it out, stuck it in an envelope,
and _mailed_ it to me so I could see it too.
<acidkill> Nugget94M: hehe, i guess she didnt know about
email?
<Nugget94M> she knew about email. it just never dawned on her
that she could mail the url.
#20507 [ + | - ] 329
<SuM_gUy> wat did i do rong
<SuM_gUy> ô¿ô
<wok> learn to spell then i will tell you
<SuM_gUy> wat did i spell rong
<SuM_gUy> hay
#20506 [ + | - ] 246
<ian__> I feel like an idiot sitting here with my face 5" away
from the monitor with my eyes crossed trying to see a picture
of a mans asshole hidden in a jpeg.
#20505 [ + | - ] 326
<frink> A properly configured microsoft firewall will stop
100% of hackers.
#20470 [ + | - ] 35
<Fugazi-> one time i was at sibley and playing football and
this guy tackled my cousin and fucken ripped his nipple off
<Fugazi-> there was nothing but a goddam bloody nipple
#20466 [ + | - ] 162
<freedumb> He's the kind of person who will wind up paying for
this first sexual-encounter at age 31, get frustrated in the
middle, and kill himself
#20459 [ + | - ] 170
<weed> the wife goes "Why don't you marry your computer geek
friends this saturday instead of me!"
#20457 [ + | - ] 37
<Casper> i think we have talked this retard into taking a shit
in the sink at school
#20452 [ + | - ] 261
<KingJehu> you poeple that had part in the steal of this room
should be down right shamed and all you that agree with it
should be shamed as well, your not of Christ, your evil of the
devil... if this room had problems "which it did" then all you
had to do is not come here simple as that!!! YOUR OF THE WORLD
though so you cant see hwat this does to the shake of the name
of Christ!! the athiest are having a field day... hope you are
proud!!!
<ircbuddy> Stop whining.
#20446 [ + | - ] 176
<freedumb> When i was like 8 my dad tried to teach me to count
cards in blackjack
<freedumb> for when im 'of legal age'
#20441 [ + | - ] 241
<DaReN^|53|> if ya ever wanna get outta class, just shit your
pants
#20433 [ + | - ] 215
<Horus-23m> Hello. I am a 23 year old male, with a biology
degree. I'm currently involved in the construction industry
and will be getting involved in supervision, as well as
running jobs which will earn me a lot of money. I'm athletic,
strong, intelligent, and fairly good looking. Why do you care?
Well most of you won't and will just mock this, but one of you
might, and that one, can message me..
#20431 [ + | - ] 25
<Dirty_Society> im talking this gurl into letting me give her
a internet Facial
#20418 [ + | - ] 314
<StephHauth> why the fuck did my nick have OWNED at the end? i
ddnt put that!!!!
#20417 [ + | - ] 94
<freedumb> i just made dinner and broadcasted it "online"
<freedumb> im fucking E-Martha Stuart
#20408 [ + | - ] 357
<marlana> sorry had another contraction