*The topic is 'English Language ONLY! That means no German or other Germanic, French or other Romanic, Latin, Leet, Spanish, Portugeese, Croatian, Binary, any Nordic or Slavic or Turkish or Klingon or any animal Language! No Singing! No inventing new languages!' (set by drt_foksie)* <drt_foksie>: if anyone manages to find a loophole in topic now, im banning him.
narutomegafan: Yes... narutomegafan: If I become next hitler type figure, I'll make sure you get high rank. Pilotheplane: SWEET Pilotheplane: I call the jews Pilotheplane: u can have the blacks narutomegafan: Sounds good. narutomegafan: That'll get us money and weapons
<Rattlsnak> so my mom is looking to get a f/t job where she can work till she's retired <Rattlsnak> she's got no formal education but she used to work in an office in front of a computer <Rattlsnak> also... she's Japanese... <Rattlsnak> any ideas? <RkdJehova> massage parlor <Rattlsnak> fuck you. * Rattlsnak has left #allnitecafe
<atariboy84> I'm a little discouraged, I went to match.com and typed "sane." It came back "sorry, no results."
<RollOver> so whats the difference between dating and going out then? <Vindexus> Dating comes before going out, it isn't as serious. <Vindexus> THink of dating as Beta and going out as Release. <Vindexus> ....and that statement shows why I've never got to play the Alpha build.
Jeff: I love microsoft office Eric-san: I love girls, weirdo Jeff: then get a girlfriend Eric-san: I never said they love me Jeff: there is always someone out there. Jeff: always Jeff: even adolf hitler had a girlfriend...c'mon Eric-san: Best. Justification. Ever
guitarchick177: lolz, christie's already drunk SenorAnderson86: nice guitarchick177: one shot drunk SenorAnderson86: band name guitarchick177: i'm halfway through my second SenorAnderson86: album name guitarchick177: hahah SenorAnderson86: now we need a song name guitarchick177: that's what she said SenorAnderson86: Oh snap
<Malagmyr> This linguistics professor was lecturing the class. <Malagmyr> "In English," he explained, "a double negative forms a positive. In some languages, such as Russian, a double negative is still a negative." <Malagmyr> "However," the professor continued, "there is no language wherein a double positive can form a negative." <Malagmyr> Immediately, a voice from the back of the room piped up: "Yeah..... right...."
<Raptorx5> So I found a prepaid cellphone the other day at school. <Raptorx5> Swear to god I did. <Raptorx5> It had a small amount of airtime left. <Raptorx5> And a shitload of contacts. <Raptorx5> I called "Mommy" and left a voicemail "Your child is dead" in a low toned whisper. And then I ran out of airtime. <Osmodius> I love you :D
<SpuD|work> augh, I hate MS Office and people's expectation that "IT'S PART OF WINDOWS SO I WANT IT FREE!" <SpuD|work> for starters, IT'S NOT PART OF WINDOWS, also, IT'S NOT FREE, and it's not even cheap, and NO IT'S NOT MY FAULT YOUR MATE PIRATED IT FOR YOU LAST TIME AND YOUR PC DIED AND YOUR MUM GOT SCARED AND SAID YOU'RE MOVING WITH YOUR AUNTIE AND YOUR UNCLE IN BEL-AIR
<Erasmus> You know how you can really annoy a trekkie fan when you're watching Star Trek? Suddenly point at the screen and shout "Hey, isn't that Captain Jon Luc Skywalker?!" <Erasmus> You can actually see them wince as the mix up causes them physical pain. <Erasmus> You then wait till they've spent ten minutes explaining to you (in minute detail) the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek, pretend to think deeply for a minute, and say: "but he is a Jedi, right?" <Erasmus> This can cause instant cardiac arrest in some of the more hardcore Trekkie fans.
<ShaggyShaggs> heh, my grandmother amused me earlier <ShaggyShaggs> I got up, got dressed, took a leak, washed my face, got out of the bathroom and mom's there holding the phone telling me it's for me <ShaggyShaggs> I grab the phone and mutter "Is this more important than coffee?" <ShaggyShaggs> and my grandmother says "Nothing is more important than coffee, call me back later"
<knucklz> i have to say i think i'm completely out of touch with porn these days <knucklz> i heard 'inside the porn actors studio' on howard stern they other day and they played a clip from this girls porno <knucklz> she said, and i quote, "yeah, stick your big cock in my shit locker" <knucklz> call me old fashioned, but the term "shit locker" doesn't exactly get my motor going
<MystyGlyttyr> No, had to spank the cat for crawling up on the gun cabinet. <Vennie> Next time just leave them loaded and let the problem solve itself <MystyGlyttyr> Nah, it's not my cat.
<geckosenator> my new approach to optimizing is comment random lines of code out and check speed and verify the results are still correct
<Wells> i upload my movies to snipurl.com as a series of urls <Wells> base64 encoded
<Peza> A terabyte is 1/8th of a bit, right? <sungo> If it is, I have a lot less disk storage than I thought
<danbee> Ah well. I'm going for a shower in my new rave bathroom. <weealan> rave bathroom?? <danbee> Aye. The bulb is on the fritz. <danbee> So now I get an epileptic fit every time I go for a piss. <danbee> It's... messy.
<Jonathan> So, let's assume I have a display connected via DVI. <jimmy> yes jonathan your porno will be crystal clear <Jonathan> jimmy: but I like my porno to be all smeary and blurry like I'm in an adult theater with some fat smelly guy pulling his crank behind my seat! <jimmy> then you need to use the native windows drivers for your video card <Jonathan> Okay, thanks.
<chilomen> *Now Playing: bathtub_lesbians.avi* <zeddevil2> rofl dude i didnt need to know that <chilomen> oh shit <chilomen> lol :S ill change it <chilomen> *Now Playing: nsync_tearin_up_my_heart.mp3* <zeddevil2> ... <zeddevil2> go back to the lesbians
<Ward> man, at work I had to demo Vista for some customers <Ward> and I was like, MAN VISTAS SO AWESOME <Ward> but XP is so much easier to use <Burty> wtf dude, you've been using XP for what.. 5 years? <Burty> thats like going from vag to anal <Burty> sure it feels different <Burty> and its a bit hard to get into at the start <Burty> but its true merit shines after a few trys
<blazeboy>you dont have to be willing <blazeboy>only unwilling to file charges
Houdini: I have a couple of modems on "long term loan" from work :) [ape crap]: yer, so do i. then i lent them out to friends on ebay.
<bennyb73> People who abuse animals should be shot in the face. <29fps> If I can kick an animal's ass, then that's natural selection at work right there, baby. We were put on this planet to conquer, and today's pansy-ass hippies are nothing but a disappointment in God's eyes. <29fps> What do you think the guy at the golden gates is checking under your name in his big book when you're standing in line? How many puppies you've kicked in your life, that's what. <ksaintdouble> Isn't it the pearly gates? Or are you talking about that homeless guy who stands in front of SanFran yelling? <bennyb73> If that doesn't sound like God, I don't know what does. <29fps> IT'S WHATEVER GATES THE GOOD LORD WANTS, PEARLY GATES, GOLDEN GATES, BILL GATES, WHATEVER. <Valvados> If it's Bill Gates I really think I'd rather go to hell.
<El_Pompo> what would be the best language to build a crawler in? <Emetri> jawa.
TheLegendofMouse> You know when you drive by those amusement parks, sometimes they have those slides shaped like the titanic? TsunamiNoAi> Thats kind of macabre isnt it? TheLegendofMouse> Let me find a picture of one TsunamiNoAi> does this mean in 100 years there will be a WTC: The Ride bungee jumping?
<Weregoose> I had to fill in these spaces (........ .....) with a phrase associated with "murder" and "alternative". Apparently, "elevator music" wasn't an acceptable answer.
< muon > I wish someone would invent a decent packing tape dispenser < Cyd > I'm telling you, a simple ball gag is not that expensive < muon > try explaining to a cop why you're hanging around a middle school with a ball gag dumbass
<lemmonza> OK, So I was watching some gangster film on BET last night <lemmonza> And they showed this commercial obviously for kids <lemmonza> Just as i was wondering why they would show a commercial for kids this late at night during such a violent movie <lemmonza> I realized two things <lemmonza> One: It was a commercial for kool-aid <lemmonza> Two: I was watchin BET
<NaStyChoC> hey babe asl? <sweetangelic> hi, 14/f/aus ^^ <NaStyChoC> ive a real big cock.. <sweetangelic> o how big?? <NaStyChoC> 9in <sweetangelic> dats prty big, mines only 8 <NaStyChoC> ok <NaStyChoC> wait wtf
<embrace> Hi <embrace> How do i download guys? <Frogworm> wouldn't you rather download girls instead?
<wankel> i think high-end computer hardware manufacturers should have to pay an extra tax, which gets sent to the game developers. we all know that people who pirate video games spend their savings buying fancy computers.
<Chrtsalid^Revenge> I spent about 45 minutes watching concerned neighbours and some maintenance workers dismantling a drainpipe in order to save a kitten today, <Chrtsalid^Revenge> And ten minutes of porn later, their effort was wasted.
<+Acksaw> how do you get 100 babies in a bucket? <+crank> 100? <+Acksaw> with a blender. <+crank> auch <+Acksaw> how do you get them back out? <+crank> i dunno <+Acksaw> with doritos
<nitekrawler> I was taking a piss, and my toliet suddenly flushes it self. <damageisking> maybe it was japanese <nitekrawler> I dont think toliets have ethnic races
<error27> Assertion: token is identifier of typedef or open "
(" of arg list of typedef'd pointer to function
<error27> programmers always wonder why people punch them in
the neck
<astrix> theres a little clip on the side of your drive <@KiNgDeeM|AFKish> jumpers <astrix> theres 3 options, master, slave and something else <@KiNgDeeM|AFKish> cable select <@Cyan> master, slave, and "likes to watch"
<Kirkburn> Shouldn't RCs be called Gamma? <Maldivia> in Microsoft's case: RC = Alpha, Release = Beta, Service Pack 1 = RC, Service Pack 2 = Release
<Erodice> 1 time last year we just had freezing rain and people where goin' 60-70 mps over the bridge form where i live to the main city New Bern. you never seen so many morons slipin' an' swervin' and wouldn't anyone slow down it was insane <Bligyith> On the fire department we call those return customers <Bligyith> ...well not really, but I do
<archaios> I WAS A VIRGIN TIL 21 <poonTheta> archaios i thought you are 20 :| <archaios> poonTheta: I am still a virgin <archaios> I expect to get laid next year
<skulk> why the hell is wrestling on the scifi channel? <skulk> that's like MTV playing music videos
Trev: dang baby did i tell u that u looked FINE today! Trev: u looked likea dime Trev: that was so sexy i just couldnt stand it Grace: thanks trevor, you're lying Trev: nooooo u were beautiful Grace: trevor I was absent today Trev: o
<dogs> we use IPv7 now <dogs> it's pretty much IPv6, but the headers contain porn <dogs> saves bandwidth
<Mulcibre> I just had a case of deja jew <Mulcibre> I'd swear I've seen this $20 bill somewhere before
<ehFk> so today in class Mr. Frank was like "Guys, turn to page 404...." <ehFk> me being a smartass say "Sir.... I can't find it" <ehFk> "Michael, It is page 404" <ehFk> "SIR! I CAN'T FIND IT!" <ehFk> I spent the next two minutes explaining to my class what 404 meant <ehFk> and they all looked at me like I was the biggest fucking nerd EVER <TheTik> wow... speechless.
<raven^> What do I chmod a directory with to make it accessable from the web?
<Folkomo> So in class today we were playing guesstures or password- one of those games you have to guess a word or phrase- my friend apparently got T.V., but I didn't know that. He got up and said "Back in my Grandma's days, these used to only be black and white." <Folkomo> I fucked up and said "water fountains" outloud. <Folkomo> ...thats why I got detention.