hQDB :: hacker Quote Database

Network Stats: 21105 Approved Quotes | 0 in Moderation Queue
#23234 [ + | - ] 240
<RobertRence> Okay, since I've apparently got my definitions
screwed up, define a hacker for me.
<Straylight> Hackers are people who dress in fruity colors and
say things like "HACK THE PLANET" and hang around with Matthew
Lillard and stuff
#23231 [ + | - ] 140
[Belisaurus] you never know what your going to get like , A
sexy wooomaaan or a boated guy with a deformed willy and a
buckshot round in whats left of his head
[Belisaurus] its like playing russian rullette with your
erection
#23228 [ + | - ] 137
<pinepusher> Anyone know a good place where someone with no
credit can get a loan???
<xENo> yeah, but the rates are high
<xENo> and if you miss a payment, they repo your life
<pinepusher> what are the rates like?
<pinepusher> any idea?
#23225 [ + | - ] 367
[logic1] hmm even though it does state "freakcock" in the url
i think this might be a cute picture of a little kitty.. let
me take a look
#23224 [ + | - ] 148
[Shinji] hate that you know.... pants off, hand cream on the
desk, then the fucking thing announces "22 minutes remaining"
:/
#23223 [ + | - ] 230
<+Fantasma> makes me feel all special and gooey inside
<+Fantasma> like a little catholic shoolgirl having her first
orgasm in the rafters of the church during communion
#23209 [ + | - ] 349
<Rockman> anyone can be an idiot, but it takes a special kind
of stupid to match kornbix
<kornbix> proove it
#23204 [ + | - ] 238
*** Legalize- (ravecave@adsl-61-166-233.rdu.bellsouth.net) has
joined channel #baseball
<Lumpy> what do you want to legalize?
<Lumpy> blunts?
<Legalize-> child labor and wastewater dumping
<Lumpy> hahahaha
<Lumpy> thats cool
#23195 [ + | - ] 269
<PabloEsteHome> What do you want for christmas that is under
40??
<|fS|Jot> mmmmmmm
<|fS|Jot> Solaris's mom
#23190 [ + | - ] 526
<|fS|Solaris> oh man...i gotta get some viagra darts
<|fS|Solaris> going around shooting people with viagra
<|fS|Solaris> don't like a teacher?
<|fS|Solaris> see how everyone else likes him when he's got
wood
<|fS|Solaris> is there a woman that you think is a man?
<|fS|Solaris> you can find out!
#23182 [ + | - ] 10
<[peepee]> Can I see your $me
#23181 [ + | - ] 272
<Yoshi> I watch way too much leave it to beaver.
<Yoshi> I'm just going to stop resisting and start calling my
dad pops and saying gee wizz alot.
<hampsterdance> g wizz alot?
<hampsterdance> isn't that a rapper?
#23179 [ + | - ] 124
<Monkey-wrench> when i first came to irc i tried to change my
nick to @Monkey_wrench
#23175 [ + | - ] 725
<Ryutaro> I liked it when things were simple
<Ryutaro> gravity wasnt known
<Ryutaro> things stuck to the earth because they loved it
#23170 [ + | - ] 971
<SSJ3_Goku> you fucking nerds should really get a fucking life
god like really go and get laid cuz you nerds really need it
to let you know what reality is!!!!
<Hsu> this coming from a guy calling himself ssj3_goku
<Chimpbot> point, match, set
#23166 [ + | - ] 219
<m477[Lain]> Customer: "I don't have a cdrom drive, and the CD
is too big to fit in the floppy drive. And the software store
won't take it back. So you have to help me install this,
because it's all your fault. If you had sold me the version of
Windows I wanted, I wouldn't have had to buy Windows 95."
#23163 [ + | - ] 517
<Yoshi> I got free unlimited php asp etc hosting with no
banners or ads whatsoever!!!!
<Yoshi> And a free domain name for life!
<Yoshi> Now if I could only speak Norwegian and figure out how
to login
#23159 [ + | - ] 53
<LDopa^^^> People are dancing around a burning baby? Where?
Where? I hope they are playing some kickin' music....
#23153 [ + | - ] 1312
<Nick^> CS!
<Nick^> CS!
<Nick^> CS!
<Nick^> CS!
<Nick^> CS!
<Nick^> CS!
<Mr_Day> I think Nick is trying to tell us something.  What is
it, boy?  Is Timmy trapped down a well?
#23150 [ + | - ] 168
(+Normandy) is there an online talking clock anywhere?
(+Glittz) roflmao
(+Kazimierz) he wishes to hear the secksay lady voice tell him
the time
(+Normandy) not twue! ;(
(+Normandy) is there one then?
(+Kazimierz) www.clock.com
(+Kazimierz) or something
(+Dogsdinner) www.omfgtehonlineclock0r.com
(+Kazimierz) I dunno
(+Morikins) lol
(+Glittz) www.time.co.uk
(+wu) #the-time
(+Normandy) You all suck.
#23137 [ + | - ] 618
<dreamkast0r> This is the abosolute worst joke I've ever found
on a string cheese wrapper.
<kingLatency> what is it?
<dreamkast0r> "What happened to the fireproof, unbreakable,
shockproof, waterproof watch?"
<dreamkast0r> "It is lost!"
<dreamkast0r> They just aren't trying anymore.
<dreamkast0r> That's not a joke.
<dreamkast0r> It's a sad story.
#23131 [ + | - ] 604
[13:49] <Saxon-> but I am still two steps up the evolutionary
ladder from karma
[13:49] *** Saxon- has quit IRC (Read error 54: Connection
reset by peer)
[13:49] <ShadiZar> rofl
[13:49] <`KArmA> THATS WHAT YOU GET FOR FUCKING WITH ME PUNK
[13:49] <`KArmA> !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
[13:49] <`KArmA> incidentally
[13:49] <Vikki> lol
[13:50] <`KArmA> despite the impressive coincidence
[13:50] <`KArmA> I had nothing to do with that
#23126 [ + | - ] 10
<[zc]Kinslayer> yo, this customer is a fucking redneck
<[zc]Kinslayer> I'm going to bomb Jackson, Mississippi
<[zc]Kinslayer> and i dont care if I spelled the state name
right or not, no one will care when I wipe it off the planet
<[zc]Kinslayer> thereby removing the shallowest gene pool in
the universe
#23124 [ + | - ] 390
<Nookadum> Microsoft plans to disclose 385 pieces of computer
code and internal operating rules, previously kept secret,
that outside developers can use to write programs to run on
Windows.
<Nookadum> 385 pieces of code...
<Nookadum> WTF do they mean by 385 pieces of code?
<Fraggy> "take one down, pass it around!"
<Fraggy> "384 pieces of code on the page....."
#23119 [ + | - ] 688
<Denyerec> Welcome to Britain, the USA's largest non-nuclear
aircraft carrier!
#23117 [ + | - ] 2123
*** DADDDDDY has joined #hockey2
<DADDDDDY> HONK
<DADDDDDY> PIMPIN' AINT EASY
<FredSmyth> PIMPIN' IS QUITE DIFFICULT
<Eulogy_> PIMPIN HAS PROVED TO BE MORE WORK THAN I FIRST
ASSUMED
<Maltby> THE DIFFICULTY IN THE OCCUPATION OF PIMPIN' IS
EXPONENTIALLY MORE COMPLEX THAN FIRST BELIEVED
<DADDDDDY> FAGS
*** DADDDDDY has quit IRC
#23116 [ + | - ] 142
<antijon> So, what does everyone think of a web server written
in Java?
<d-aliegri> slow?
#23114 [ + | - ] 1370
<+crystalis> un-tss
<+crystalis> un-tss
<+crystalis> un-tss
<+crystalis> un-tss
<+crystalis> un-tss
<@d1sturb3d> wtf?
<+crystalis> I'm a techno song
#23110 [ + | - ] 347
<lawngnome> isnt chelsea clinton like, 10 years old?
<fire_hawk> what?!  no!  She's going to Stanford next year!
<lawngnome> wow...
<lawngnome> pretty fucking smart 10 year old.
#23106 [ + | - ] 143
<GaiKaiyzer> Eminem is getting his own movie.,
<Grue> I'm surprised he doesn't have his own breakfast cereal.
<Grue> "White Rapper O's" or something.
#23105 [ + | - ] 519
*** Switch is now known as Jesus
<Jesus> I am GOD!!
*** Quits: Jesus (switch@vividtv.com) (Local kill by Lucifer
(Muhahaha) )
#23103 [ + | - ] 438
<Quixo> how about we kill their daughter and hang them from a
tree instead
<Quixo> upside down
<Quixo> split down the middle
<WildWing> With tobasco sauce?
<Quixo> ...uhh...sure
<Quixo> freak
#23096 [ + | - ] 469
<nicks> I drew the most realistic cock you'd ever see on a
graphic calculator yesterday in math class
#23093 [ + | - ] 289
<Clockwork> You know.. The complexity of an N64 controller and
sensitivity of that analong stick, not to mention the hidden Z
button, is alot like a woman..
<Dekan-> Except for the love and affection and sex. And tits.
And vagina. Yeah I'd say it's pretty much the n64
controller...
#23089 [ + | - ] 489
<FFChatter> I wanna' change my nick!
<Onyx> type /nick (NAME HERE)
<FFChatter> Trying to trick me?....
<FFChatter> I won't fall for it....
#23070 [ + | - ] 188
<sab0tage> in yer dreams perhaps
<Nys|Work> i dont dream about you
<Nys|Work> although i once fell off a building
<Nys|Work> into a pile of shit
<Nys|Work> that might have freudian links?
#23061 [ + | - ] 130
·nsanity· !kick Buster128 BAHHAHAa
Buster128  you need a bot first LOL
·nsanity· doh
#23056 [ + | - ] 191
<Cricket> talk about bush then.
<Cricket> the kind you eat, not the kind you vote for.
<pesti> ew, no
<pesti> no political,stuff,
<dUb> lol
<pesti> like, mowing the lawn?
<dUb> I like the george michael clip
<dUb> hihi
<Cricket> yeah, like mowing the lawn.
<pesti> trimming the hedge
<dUb> chocking the snake
<dUb> ...
<pesti> pounding the beaver
<dUb> spanking the monkey
<pesti> dub, you still have a lot to learn if you think that
is having sex with a girl
#23055 [ + | - ] 423
<JakeStone> *shift change!*
<geo--> that's a very pretty shift, jake.
<geo--> don't think I've seen you wear that one before.
<JakeStone> thank you geo.  I got it at Macy's.
<geo--> the pearls complement it well.
<JakeStone> I'm thinking though, that the tiara is a bit much
though.
<geo--> well, only because you're wearing it as a codpiece.
#23051 [ + | - ] 123
<Harlequin> i got fkn fired from westnet coz i cheated in cs
#23044 [ + | - ] 23
<z0rk> why do you want this indian so much?
<acid> i want him as a wallpaper, reminds me of something my
gf did tonight
#23036 [ + | - ] 146
<GreenEyes> gawd i hate it when i'm mid sneeze and it just
disappears!
<GreenEyes> it's like almost cumming heheh
<DJUrsus> Does GE have blue sinuses?
#23029 [ + | - ] 535
<MAZgyrl> skootlez, take me off ur ignore list. i need 2 talk
2 u
<jared> that's not going to work MAZgyrl...
<jared> cause if you were on his ignore list he couldn't see
you, you are stupid
<MAZgyrl> shut up
<jared> MAZgyrl: send me your pic, you sound easy
#23026 [ + | - ] 592
<Sugizo> "Bother" said Pooh. "j00s 4ll my bi4tch3s"
#23020 [ + | - ] 144
<jbou> I live in the liberal state of MA, and we can
drinkalcohol, and penetrate naked women at the same time
<YCDK> Drink alcohol, penetrate naked women... #insert
"kennedy_joke.h"
#23014 [ + | - ] 283
<Shana> such memories
<Jake> I had some decent memories with Stacy's mom
<Axel> jake unless you had a nice time with a 50 year old
you're a sicko
<Jake> She wasn't 50 at the time
<Jake> Hello, son
#23011 [ + | - ] 245
<haole-writing> did you ever read my story, vampress?
<Vampress> I'm sorry I didn't get a chance yet
<Vampress> it's sitting on my nightstand
<Vampress> staring at me everyday
<Ragnarok> haole must have put a lot of himself in that story
#23007 [ + | - ] 229
<T-Girth> that girl kept me up all night long <G>
<T-Girth> of course it was just cuz she wouldn't shut her trap
while i was tryin to sleep
#23003 [ + | - ] -15
[    Orochi]: Network Interfaces[#1 (Realtek RTL8029(AS)
Ethernet Adapt (10Mb/s) 2029.16MB In, 65.49MB Out) #2(3Com
EtherLink PCI (100Mb/s) 2541.76MB In, 942.64MB Out)]
[ anim0sity]: hell
[      sTek]:  [NetWork]  #1 (NETGEAR FA310TX Fast Ethernet
PCI Adapter (10Mb/s) 213.70MB In, 55.17MB Out) #2(ELNK3
Ethernet Adapter (10Mb/s) 0.00MB In, 0.00MB Out)
[ anim0sity]: dialup[globe via Generic 56K HCF Data Fax Modem
@ 50Kb/s for 6h 34m 44s (4.73MB up, 124.54MB down)]
#22999 [ + | - ] 907
<Notoes> YES
<Notoes> FINALLY
<TlMMAH> u kissed a girl?
<Notoes> no
<Notoes> EXTERNAL 60GIG HD