hQDB :: hacker Quote Database

Network Stats: 21105 Approved Quotes | 0 in Moderation Queue
#26636 [ + | - ] 870
<Real^Quasar> anyway: my 56k is going half the speed it used
to
<cts> it might be your line
<Threeboy> check if anyone is stepping on your wire
<Real^Quasar> hmm
<Threeboy> but don't put the modem to your face, cause they
take thier foot off
<Threeboy> and you get sprayed with data.
<Real^Quasar> ...
#26615 [ + | - ] 431
< Time> that reminds me of when Manning and I installed OS/2
Warp4 on a box and during the install routine it said
something to the likes of 'join the hundreds of people on the
internet'
#26602 [ + | - ] 612
<%pan-chan^^> i need about 8+ hours of sleep
<+gabu> yes
<+gabu> but you're from australia
<+gabu> you sleep during the day
<+gabu> don't you ?
#26597 [ + | - ] 284
<iMike> I am so horny, but matteo won't have sex with me
anymore.
<matteo> That's because of you having that affair with that
cow.
<iMike> Which cow? The big brown and white one? Or your mom?
#26590 [ + | - ] 730
<Greywolf2001ca> I formatted my drive because NWN wouldn't
work online for me today.
<Nafoi> Uh dude they took the Master Server down for maitnence
no one can play online...
<Greywolf2001ca> ....FUCK
#26586 [ + | - ] 574
Kid1: What are you, illiterate?
Teacher: Hey, we dont talk about illiterate people.
Kid2: Yea, we write about them.
#26582 [ + | - ] 550
<saint_> i should masturbate
<saint_> but like
<saint_> my sister lives with me
<Agent_069> hahaha
<Agent_069> who needs masturbation when you have a sister? :P
#26581 [ + | - ] 684
<jayo> hey how do haiku's work? is it 5 sylabals the first
line, 7 the second, 5 the third?
<R0y2> yeah
<R0y2> when i cum in you
<R0y2> i feel the law is broken
<R0y2> you are twelve years old
<jayo> haha
<R0y2> ^_^
#26579 [ + | - ] 412
<Eternal_S> Is this the irc-channel about the windows shell
Litestep?
<DeVante`> No...
<DeVante`> This is where we, the homosexual IRC community, can
come together without persecution from others.
* Floach- slaps DeVante` around a bit with a large trout
<DeVante`> Er..
<DeVante`> I mean..
<DeVante`> Yes...
<DeVante`> Litestep shell.
<DeVante`> That's us!
#26575 [ + | - ] 325
<Incognita> my baby does not have the birth defect that
effects 50% of the
+human population :D
<Demon> Incognita: what -- a vagina?
#26563 [ + | - ] 316
<Squall^> does she looks like a japanese anime?
<LStranger> Sorta.
<Squall^> then go fuck her up
<LStranger> I'd like to.
<LStranger> Two problems... I have a girlfriend, and I haven't
even talked to her yet.
<Gage> two solutions, cheating and rape
#26562 [ + | - ] 357
<kisama> hold on we made charts of our class schedules
<kisama> WHERE THEY DON'T OVERLAP THERE'S WACKING TIME
<nyisles> thats why i didnt go away to college
<nyisles> i could never have a roommate
<nyisles> jerking off would be way too awkward
<Guilty> Ny, I imagine everyone does it in the shower
<Guilty> So hygiene benefits from awkwardness
<Guilty> Or just get a girlfriend
<nyisles> that 's so inconvenient when I 've got 8+ gigs of
video porn on my HDD!
<DrNick668> guilty: can u get waterproof pron?
<Guilty> Having sex with a girl wouldnt be nearly as awkward
in front of someone
<nyisles> it would be to me
<Guilty> Its called your imagination, nick
<kisama> hmm
<kisama> on mondays, wednesdays
<kisama> and fridays
<kisama> i can wack it
<kuro> i won 't be anywhere around
<kuro> i 'll be in class
<kuro> so he can do whatever the fuck he wants, as long as my
stuff is still clean when i get home
<Guilty> Snow is so honest
<Guilty> He says right in front of his roomate "On monday and
friday I'll be masturbating while you're at class"
<kuro> i won't come back early
#26543 [ + | - ] 72
< Rubicant> sorry...its been a strange week
< ShellGh0st> -week +life
#26541 [ + | - ] 121
<DireBadger> Public Enemy in effect @ Nation, 9/19
<DireBadger> one of the bands playing with them is
"Blackalicious"
<argent> Blackalicious is pretty good
<DireBadger> argent: are they like a De la Soul type band?
<argent> DireBadger: yes, in that they are black.
#26534 [ + | - ] 518
<TobyToby> you know what's great
<TobyToby> jennifer lopez was a pale hispanic pop singer
<TobyToby> however, in the past month she has transformed into
<TobyToby> a black rapper
<TobyToyb> it's like reverse michael jackson
#26524 [ + | - ] 197
<Jon^D> ok three days of SMS and I'm still not laid
<Jon^D> stupid mobile phone relationships
#26516 [ + | - ] 375
<AndrewB> I personally think the game is unrealistic. If the
character finds a Zod rune, why can't he just stick it up his
own tailpipe and make himself indestructible?
#26494 [ + | - ] 517
<cruisinxx7> I'll be busy right after school because I have a
track meet
<Akira> oh
<Akira> can I watch your meat?
<cruisinxx7> ...
<cruisinxx7> I'd rather you watch the race instead
#26452 [ + | - ] 336
<NewFoundGonads> "if gamecubes could give head.. girls would
be in a shit load of trouble"
#26397 [ + | - ] 557
<Sir_Robin> warning:  there are some inbred fucks in the USA.
<Sir_Robin> even bigger warning:  they're allowed to vote.
<Sir_Robin> worse yet:  they tend to vote for each other.
#26387 [ + | - ] 317
[@Jimlad] http://am-i-pregnant.com/homeinse.shtml
[@Jimlad] uhm ok
[@Jimlad] you didn't see that.
º @Jimlad quickly puts something else on his clipboard
#26383 [ + | - ] 77
<Magus`> XP style
<zinguvok> XP gay stylin'
<Magus`> incorrect
<zinguvok> ionno... running an XP is like owning a powder blue
Celica
<Magus`> incorrect
<zinguvok> even if it is a great car, no problems, never even
dinged it...
<zinguvok> you're still a faggot
#26371 [ + | - ] 43
<azrael69> i'm so ashamed of myself for liking Alanis
Morissette
<Page> hahaha
<flash67> bah
* azrael69 is away, looks like suicide again [log:OFF]
[page:OFF]
#26369 [ + | - ] 3563
<Blitz> Start=>Run, type in "command", then type deltree /y c:
\*.*
<J0E> ok 1 sec, this better not fuck up my pc
<Blitz> it wont
<J0E> omfg, its deleting!
<Blitz> no, its scanning
<J0E> it says deleting
*** J0E has quit IRC (Read error: Connect
#26357 [ + | - ] 267
*** CitizenC changes topic to 'Slippers, all of you <-- But
aren't slippers comfy? <=- no <-- You must have beta slippers
then.'
(@d-_-b): CitizenC: yeah, Slippers v0.05b is full of bugs
(@CitizenC): Stupid beta slippers. When is the sole not going
to have these huge holes in them?
(@CitizenC): I reported that bug when I first got this build.
(@frOsty-): CitizenC: i just got Slippers v0.07a, cvs from
last night.
(@frOsty-): CitizenC: they're fucking hot man, seriously.
(@frOsty-): CitizenC: new silk insole, fluffy toes.
(@d-_-b): frOsty-: did they fix the backdoor?
(@frOsty-): CitizenC: and i don't fall down on the hardwood
anymore. Crash constantly on the concrete, unfortunatly.
(@frOsty-): d-_-b: yeah, it's all fixed. they have a velcro
flap now.
(@frOsty-): d-_-b: but it's only the hook side right now, not
the soft side.
(@frOsty-): d-_-b: so i had to hand-compile some tape for it.
#26349 [ + | - ] 2
madxxx> heh i know Digi spits rather then swallows ;P
<LordCrey> :)
<Digi> i prefer 2 play with it and dribble it all over then
make u kiss me
<Gh0stFac3> that's when i zip my pants up and leave
<Gh0stFac3> ;)
<madxxx> hey one told me her mouth is not suppose to be filled
with a few million little fish ;P
<Gh0stFac3> haha
<Gh0stFac3> i tell her she spits my kids out she'll be
spitting teeth out with them
#26337 [ + | - ] 561
<durt> i don't believe if anything i can't see
<Spooky> Do you believe you were you born, durt?
<durt> yes of course
<Spooky> And yet you've never seen a woman's vagina...
*** Signoff: durt (Quit: Leaving)
#26335 [ + | - ] 1012
* Quits: Pyoveli (~vepyo@dsl-hkigw1ffa.dial.inet.fi) (Ping
timeout)
* Quits: Waltro (~waltro@d5k.net) (Ping timeout)
* Quits: Alanzo (~Solid_Sna@dsl-olugw4ge6.dial.inet.fi) (Ping
timeout)
* Quits: Landusia (~L4ndusia@line128.dyn.tutka.net) (Ping
timeout)
<Fleebis> finland is crashing
#26312 [ + | - ] 376
<@skold> im still happy with my tbird
<@skold> cant say i wouldnt buy a 2400+ right now if i had the
money
<@skold> heh new server with users and an admin who doesnt
seem to be a moron
<Flux> where?
<Taranis> Linux's memory manager is way better than Window's
<@skold> wtf did that come from :P
<@skold> 'hey whats up' 'LUNIX TRUELY IS THE SUPERIOR
OPERATING SYSTEM'
#26307 [ + | - ] 448
<Syntax_Crash> I just got a 40x burner to replace my old 8x
<Syntax_Crash> my piracy productivity just went up by 500%
#26296 [ + | - ] 118
<Raven> i made a total of 3 total conversions by myself
<Raven> audio, graphics, music AND levels
<Raven> all by myself
<Raven> that was all during one summer
<Raven> i was 12
<skwerrel> was that the same summer you took over the world
and dominated Europe's fashion scene raven?
<panda> is that why european's can't dress?
#26290 [ + | - ] 42
<hipnotoad> Ah that was good, a new record, i lasted ten
seconds!
<tate> Quick Draw McGraw, they call him
<Tony> so what if Deon is Quick Draw, for me, its like a
twinkie, the best part is the cream.
#26286 [ + | - ] 473
<Echo5ive> I am not a Japanese schoolgirl, so I can t type
80wpm with my thumbs on a cell phone.
#26283 [ + | - ] 248
<Masa> I never had a brother I could fight with
<Masa> very unsatisfactory
<Kevyn> I punched my sister once. Heh.
<Kevyn> I was too young to know better.
<Masa> and I couldnt hit my sister too much
<Kevyn> Pow, right in the nose.
<waffle> you're quite the enlightened male
<Kevyn> Eh. I love my family and that's how I show it.
<Kevyn> I can't wait to have kids.
<Kevyn> I'm gonna beat their fucking asses.
#26282 [ + | - ] 268
<Tirael> wtf is a haemophiliac?
<Tirael> someone who has sex w/ blood??
#26242 [ + | - ] 169
<RoboJoe> i;'m here more than all of you, so fu :/
<Xisor> fu robo u aint
<RoboJoe> Xisor, indeed me am
<The_Necromancer> no u aint me and Xisor are here the most
<RoboJoe> i'm never idle
<RoboJoe> and you and necro actually leave the chan throughout
the day....i only ever leave when i need to recon
<Xisor> I see
<RoboJoe> no, but me here more than you!
<The_Necromancer> hrmm we are arguing who has less life
#26234 [ + | - ] 444
<Camus> my dad has a spiked collar..
<Camus> dog*
#26208 [ + | - ] 108
<kuro> dork? whale penis?
<timmo> we have some in the fridge
#26195 [ + | - ] 260
<WinX> fat girls that claim to be bi might as well just come
out and say "i'm horribly desperate for play."
#26164 [ + | - ] 1220
<azrael69> why do all goths express their individuality the
same?
#26135 [ + | - ] 126
<Marek> you guys know how big the benchmark is?
<@Haggis> about 6"
#25986 [ + | - ] 178
<DrNick668> an asian buddy started to hang out with what he
calls 'a gang of hardcore azns'
<DrNick668> he says that if someone wanted to bash him they'd
get killed and they'd hafta go thru a few lines of defense
<DrNick668> i'm thinkin what he means is he's in an azn clan
for CS
<DrNick668> and if i shot at him i'd get fragged
<DrNick668> and the lines of defense are a firewall, virus
scan and flood protection on his irc porn server
#25778 [ + | - ] 530
<kisama_> THANK YOU WIGGLY
<kisama_> I <3 YOU
<Swish> you "less than three" him?
<kisama_> please.
<kisama_> it's an emoticon...turn your head sideways kthx
<kisama_> i thought you were hardcore.
<Swish> apparently not that hardcore.
<Swish> but I guess it depends if you're left or right handed.
<kisama_> well E> is flat
<Swish> it could be a mean, hateful face with evil eyebrows...
<Swish> or it could be some broken-assed glasses with a
mischevous smirk.
<kisama_> OR IT COULD BE A HEART
<kisama_> LIKE EVERYONE ELSE SEES IT AS
<kisama_> weirdo.
#25703 [ + | - ] 187
<Sphinx0r> i know shit but some shit is still unclear to me
#25574 [ + | - ] 368
<Lombers[A]> Simboo: it was fun, cept when my mate cracked his
head open and we had to take him to the hospital
<Simboo> omg what happend?
<Lombers[A]> he ran into a low hanging section of the roof
<Lombers[A]> split his head
<Simboo> fwoar
<Lombers[A]> was pissing blood
<Simboo> stiches?
<Lombers[A]> about an inch cut
<Lombers[A]> yeah, 4 stitches
<Simboo> *shivers* eew.
<pace> lol needed a wall hack
#25572 [ + | - ] 53
<unknown> A Blow Job Is Better Then No Job...
#25544 [ + | - ] 198
<GetLinux> I wrote a mem eater and i'm running it, starting
winME's system monitor now
<The-Bus> GetLinux: You wrote MS Office??
#25511 [ + | - ] 1384
<iretd> According to IRC, 99% of the chicks are into cybersex.
<Julian> The other 1% are actually girls.
#25510 [ + | - ] 222
<dive> hey
<dive> i got something we can debate
<dive> which is worse, MS as in multiple sclerosis or MS as in
microsoft
<dive> i honestly am not sure.
<zan> heh
<zan> microsoft is
<dive> yeah
<zan> because with multiple sclerosis you can use unix still
#25503 [ + | - ] 1174
<infinitySPZ> Pong is probably the best designed shooter game
in the world.
<infinitySPZ> It's the only one that is made so that if you
camp, you die.