hQDB :: hacker Quote Database

Network Stats: 21105 Approved Quotes | 0 in Moderation Queue
#27608 [ + | - ] 468
<Tuxedocat> The other day i noticed some similarities between
Willy Wonka's chocolate factory and a meth lab
<Tuxedocat> if you stay there a while you see some strange
shit
<Tuxedocat> there's stuff that can kill you if you mess with
it
<Tuxedocat> it's run by a strange guy who doesn't like
visitors
#27535 [ + | - ] 323
<Red_Draco> "See the Pope, $5. Ride the Pope, $10."
#27510 [ + | - ] 161
<@SiZZuRp> dude ask ne1
<@gatrhaze> ne1 No such nick
<@gatrhaze> ne1 End of /WHOIS list.
#27494 [ + | - ] 114
< Logik-> jesus fucking christ this lag!
< cristib> 11:33 CTCP PING reply from Logik-: 1.527 seconds
< Logik-> cristib, my computers ram
< cristib> your RAM is fucking lagging?
< cristib> that's deep
#27491 [ + | - ] 366
<+Hotaru> Hmm, 1 in 32 Americans are either in jail or prison,
on probation, or on parole.
<@Riffraff> COOL!
<+Vulpes> I didn't know we had that many politicians.
#27489 [ + | - ] 162
<damocles> one day...tv will be nothing but "when good pets go
bad 27" and porn
#27485 [ + | - ] 74
<SickRick> anyone know why linuxvideo.org is down?  was it
shut down?
<ian_> Because "linux" and "video" are mutually exclusive
#27484 [ + | - ] 145
<bri> 12
<bri> er
<bri> 22
<napalm_> sweet...
<napalm_> oh
<bri> either way
<napalm_> darn thought someone I might be able to score.
<napalm_> lol
<bri> im not gonna ask
<napalm_> I always keep lollipops on me.
#27483 [ + | - ] 645
<bri> when you're stoned at night the golf course looks like
marioland
<bri> :
<kitten> heh
<bri> i hum the theme music
<bri> and jump on bushes
<bri> but then i get all cut up
<bri> :
#27481 [ + | - ] 38
<freeweed> NEVER try to add your C: to winamp all at once
<freeweed> it really fucks things up
#27478 [ + | - ] 41
<sdlkfj> ahnyone know what dedicated hosting does?  like can I
run ICQ in there ?
#27477 [ + | - ] 231
* Joins: Julie_ (~warez@63.243.0.98)
Julie_ is ~warez@63.243.0.98 * * I'm to lame to read
BitchX.doc *
<jube> Julie_ you're using bitchx and therefore unix.
<jube> that doesnt bode well for your dress size
<Julie_> ha
<jube> prove me wrong in .jpg form
#27474 [ + | - ] 408
<Fishfood> DONUT MASTURBATION IS LIKE SEX IN THE SAME WAY A
CYRIX 333 WITH A VODOO 3 AND A 2 GIG WD HARD DRIVE IS LIKE AN
ATHLON 2600 WITH 1TB MAXTOR RAID ARRAY AND A MODERN NVIDIA
GRAPHICS CARD
<Funk> Fish, could you make sex any less sexy?
<Fishfood> FUNK IM TRYING TO EXPLAIN IT TO DONUT
<Donut[AFK]> UHH FISH
<Donut[AFK]> I DON'T JUST SIT THERE AND PUMP
<Fishfood> DONUT IT DOESN'T MATTER IF YOU HANG UPSIDE DOWN
FROM THE DAMN CEILING
<Fishfood> IF MASTURBATION WAS LIKE SEX WHAT THE HELL WOULD
GIRLS BE FOR
<Funk> Masturbating over.
#27467 [ + | - ] 366
<Lilmuckers> i watched this great program about gays getting
murdered
<crt2k> ...
<Lilmuckers> well,
<Lilmuckers> gay people being persecuted
<IUG> ...
<Lilmuckers> damnit
<Lilmuckers> i'm not making this sound good am i?
#27466 [ + | - ] 433
(@Xolution): what is this "social" you speak of?
(moriarty): it's like IRC, but with touching
#27462 [ + | - ] 75
<Woody> some guys can last longer than 5 seconds mendy :p
<Mendez> I wouldn't know - I've never had a guy give me a
blowjob.
#27460 [ + | - ] 204
<Markie> i dont hate dido, i just don't think she's got a
particually great voice
<Woody> she sounds better than mendy in the shower and thats
good enough for me ;)
<Markie> how do u know what he sounds like in the shower ?!
<Mendez> I'm very quiet in the shower I'll have you know...
you have to be otherwise they hear you coming up behind them
as they bend down to get the soap...
#27455 [ + | - ] 59
<J{E}K> What is the best song of NIN?
<uidv6> ALL THE SILENT TRACKS ON BROKEN
#27452 [ + | - ] 291
<pvah> when i got my cable modem.......i had to get rid of
about 4 friends in order to manage my time
#27447 [ + | - ] 390
<Aximili> aha Kids' Jeopardy is like Celebrity Jeopardy except
they know the answers
#27444 [ + | - ] 268
<Aximili> WHAT THE DAMN HELL WAS THAT AHHHHHH
<Nicklon> ·Aximili· => puberty
#27443 [ + | - ] 322
<Nicklon> agh i just typed in lego technic into limewire
search and i got porn results
<Reubenoit> probably because you typoed 'lego' as 'hardcore
penetration"
#27441 [ + | - ] 299
(|Robot|Bender): Kronos, so angry. So mad. so full of hate.
Have a salad, a lite beer and take a nap.
(jot): salad, lite beer? you want to make him happy, not gay
#27440 [ + | - ] 596
<Wonderboy> so what you're hacking?
<MastaB> im not a hacker, im coder
<Wonderboy> what you're coding?
<MastaB> Hack tools.
#27438 [ + | - ] 205
<synjaWrk> did you know co.ck is a real top level domain
<synjaWrk> $300/year
<synjaWrk> daamn
<sno_uk> synja: haha : so you can you and buy abig.co.ck ?
<synjaWrk> sno_uk i dont need to buy one
<synjaWrk> :)
#27437 [ + | - ] 162
<Bitstorm> i like that "Dead bodies in the trunk" air
freshener
#27436 [ + | - ] 150
KiSsAbLeMaiDeN: question
KiSsAbLeMaiDeN: is it good for a girl to be hairy er no?
KiSsAbLeMaiDeN: ?
Eric3934: no
KiSsAbLeMaiDeN: aight thanks
#27433 [ + | - ] 349
TC3743: My laptop is ghetto.
sgtpudding: sweet, does it cuss at you and say things like
'bling bling'?
TC3743: Haha , yeah I came home and it was pimping out the
toaster to the coffee machine =/
sgtpudding: LOL
sgtpudding: it's probably thinking "stop being a playa' hater"
right now
TC3743: lol
TC3743: I dunno, we just got a new rice cooker...
#27427 [ + | - ] 59
<weed> alright, i gotta get back to work
<Phucker> You mean masturbation?
<weed> i havn't done that in a while
<weed> i must be gettin old
<Phucker> I did it 6 times yesterday
<Phucker> So I'm good
<weed> 6 times?!
<Phucker> Yeah
<weed> you must be 'chapped'
#27421 [ + | - ] 284
<@BhodiZzZz> cevik: help, my code won't compile and I don't
know what's wrong!
BhodiZzZz (bhodi@dda9aaf9.net.hmsk) is now known as Bhodi
<cevik> well.. part of your problem appears to be that you
were asleep when you wrote it.. ;)
#27406 [ + | - ] 220
* ashie is already starting to miss senior year of high school
<ashie> i cut school so much, i'd end up coming in on
holidays, not knowing there was no school
#27388 [ + | - ] -20
<SmMeTh> im more VERY bi-polar
<SmMeTh> heh
<Eightba||> lol, more very bi-polar
<brainwreck> schizophrenia is a physical malady that only
manifests mental problems as a symptom
<soup> i used to hear ppl screaming and a man whispering to me
about blood when i was younger does that make me schizo?
<NastyNate> more like gay-polar ROFLMAO
<Eightba||> lol
<soup> lolo nate
<soup> you are to witty for your own good
#27386 [ + | - ] 964
<shmooo> i cant wait to see my gf tonite
<shmooo> im gonna eat her sweet pussy
<gortho> we're happy for you
<shmooo> it's like sweet strawberries
<psmylie> what?!?
<psmylie> ...
<psmylie> you're a virgin, aren't you?
#27312 [ + | - ] 1189
* Xian just heard a loud bang out side
<Xian> OMG
<Xian> THe pizza boy hit our car!
<Valv|tuba> WHAT?
<Boko> Is the pizza okay!?!?
#27306 [ + | - ] 364
(timmo) her boobies are fake
(timmo) ;[
[nyisles] hmm
[nyisles] are they photoshopped
[nyisles] ?
[Guilty] No
[Guilty] They're implants
#27289 [ + | - ] 210
(timmo) id fucking stab someone if i was in a dorm room
(timmo) and woke up
(timmo) and they were fucking whacking
[Gimdb] i'd finish them off
#27275 [ + | - ] 223
<kisama> these penguin mints are weak
<Guilty> Snow you're in college now, you need amphetamines
<Guilty> No weak caffeine mints
#27238 [ + | - ] 299
<Staberinde> Ah lovely.  First I get Hirsuite women spam mail
now I get "Anal breakfast fisting" spam mail
<Boogaleeboo> Eh.
<Boogaleeboo> "Do you like gay fisting?" still tops it for me
<Boogaleeboo> Not because it is so out there, but because it's
really a blow to the ego for three seconds
<Boogaleeboo> Before you think "Hey, they don't know who the
fuck I am"
<Staberinde> What I love is getting 2 viagra spam mails
surrounded by spam mail for car loans or home loans
<Staberinde> Apparently they think that I can't get a loan and
it's making me impotent
#27232 [ + | - ] 3
<crnk>  I CAN ACTUALLY SAY I DON'T LOOK AT PORN
<crnk>  BUT I'M THE FIRST TO ADMIT THAT I CAN'T NUT
#27181 [ + | - ] 192
<clay> if i take an open wire from my motherboard and stick it
in a cup of water will it do anything
<jonathans> yes
<jonathans> it will heat the water
#27168 [ + | - ] 469
<PENGUIN_FUCKER> LINUX RULES ALL!!!!!
<PENGUIN_FUCKER> LINUX RULES ALL!!!!!
<PENGUIN_FUCKER> LINUX RULES ALL!!!!!
* PERL_ZEALOT has been kicked by PERL_ZEALOT (cock in mouth)
* PERL_ZEALOT (~perlzeal@d-xxx-xxx-xxx-xxx.dynamic.umr.edu)
has joined #xxxxxxxx
* ChanServ sets mode +o PERL_ZEALOT
<PERL_ZEALOT> whoops XD
<PERL_ZEALOT> Stupid auto-complete
#27111 [ + | - ] 881
<Ronwe> Why is it that every time I say something everybody
runs to "bas"?
<Ronwe> wtf is bash
<viro|away> http://www.bash.org
* Ronwe goes
<Ronwe> oh fuck.
#27028 [ + | - ] 210
<Everdraed> We can't grab women's boobs?  The terrorists have
won!
<Luna`> can't let the terrorists win.
<Everdraed> Exactly Luna
* Everdraed grabs Skyday's boobs
<Skyday> :OP!!!!!!
#27025 [ + | - ] 542
<bionic_6) Dude never argue with an idiot. They will bring you
down to their level and beat you with experience.
#26999 [ + | - ] 37
<+MaNiAk> she cant use stuff like
<+MaNiAk> webcams
<+MaNiAk> since she has win95
<+Yamatto> why does your mom wanna be on webcam?
<+Munkey> lol
<+OGE> *coughcamwhorecough*
<@Magus> eww
<+MaNiAk> fuck you oge and i hope you balls rot off
#26996 [ + | - ] 653
* nephlite is listening to korean pop
<Anwar> is it about starcraft?
<nephlite> probably
#26995 [ + | - ] 897
<Tracer[Quoting]> a friend of mine told me once that he is so
unlucky that if he would fall into a barrel of nipples, he
would come out sucking his thumb
<eelhovercraft> The concept of a barrel full of nipples
frightens me
#26994 [ + | - ] 696
<sean> I could jack off to a barbie doll and it'd be the
equivilant to jerking off to the girls in playboy
<Ronwe> sean: you've jerked off to a barbie doll?
<iTM> wtf
<Ronwe> that' just pathetic
<sean> yes, many MANY times
<Ronwe> I mean, I've done it to Charsi's ass in D2.. but never
to a barbie doll
<Ronwe> and it was only once... too lazy to go find some
decent porn to smack to
<Astro> lol
<iTM> Charsi's ass?
<Ronwe> yeah... it's tight and firm
<Ronwe> I'm not going to explain any more
<Ronwe> I'm already afraid of this making it to bash
#26989 [ + | - ] 979
<infinitySPZ> In the beginning, God Created man out of his own
image.
<Fleebis> Was it JPEG?
#26988 [ + | - ] 347
<Drago> hey random, ya want to test something for me?
<random> if its long, tubular, made out of plastic and gently
vibrates..... then no. But if its some code.. ok