hQDB :: hacker Quote Database

Network Stats: 21105 Approved Quotes | 0 in Moderation Queue
#29237 [ + | - ] 31
(irix): scrim?
(irix): :o
(jot): against?
(irix): team colorado
(irix): :)
(jot): we only play people from states that matter
#29198 [ + | - ] 1173
<Coldfeet®> having sex after 20 beers is like playing pool
with a rope
#29151 [ + | - ] 144
<SteveCase> what does one do here?
<hunnybun> jerk off to girls gone wild infomercials
#29134 [ + | - ] 466
<InkyTriviaBot> Question: what was the first zeppelin made of?
<InkyTriviaBot> answer:  --------
<AlexisMachine> fire
#29083 [ + | - ] 927
<Chyno> Oww...I was wanking so hard I got cramp in my leg.
<Critíc> Fascinating.
<Chyno> I thinked the guy liked it though.
<Critíc> ....
<Critíc> I don't think anybody saw that coming.
#29074 [ + | - ] 727
<Puddle of Mudd> Have they named the disorder where you become
obsessed with terrible songs?
<Critíc> Pop culture.
#29066 [ + | - ] 429
<rudesmurf> oh, by the way, you have woman arms.
<@Chomps> not really, but I have child's wrists
<rudesmurf> why is that?
<@Chomps> because i cut them off some kid
#29046 [ + | - ] 1592
<zamros> My names Nickie.Im a 17 year old mommie to a
beautiful 13 month old little girl(born July 21,2001).Im also
19 weeks pregnant with what is believed to be a boy..and our
last child! Our meaning my husband.He's 19 years old and in
the army.We've been together 3 years and married for almost 1.
We're currently stationed in Fort Bragg,NC. Look forward to
reading all your posts!
<zamros> DEAR NICKIE
<zamros> YOU'VE RUINED YOUR FUCKING LIFE
<zamros> SINCERELY,
<zamros> GOD
#29043 [ + | - ] 317
(|Kore|): whats the best webcam to get lads?
(DawnRazor): to get lads you'll need breasts
#29040 [ + | - ] 243
<spoony> i'm not bright but i can lift heavy things
#29025 [ + | - ] 375
<Ed> Why is there so much fat porn lately? Someone needs to be
shot.
<Rivorus> what the hell is wrong with fat porn?
<Toad> Yeah, I'm sure they all have great personalities.
#29003 [ + | - ] 801
<nosliwc156> So I walk in to the living room, and Patricks
watching Hanson on TV...
<nosliwc156> he turns around to me, and says "I would so
totally do her"
<nosliwc156> and all I could think to do was turn around, and
walk out...
#28978 [ + | - ] 20
<GRiPEX> why am i getting packeted from ACA2CA99.ipt.aol.com
<GRiPEX> its killing my linux machine
#28975 [ + | - ] 191
<%jdp> i come first!
<%TruWizdom> yeah thats what i hear
<%TruWizdom> like after 12 seconds
#28972 [ + | - ] 312
<@mike> i think what we all want to know, orion, is whether
the ice cream truck hit the kid
<@orion> unfortunately not
<@orion> it was just some kids screaming after the missed
creamy treat opportunity
#28970 [ + | - ] 448
<jestuh> QDB TIP OF THE DAY: ALL THE GOOD NIGGERS JOKES CAN BE
ACCESSED BY CLICKING 'BOTTOM'
#28923 [ + | - ] 82
<FZ1> raff on #banan
<FZ1> raff using irc.efnet.pl ATMAN Network, Warsaw, Poland
<FZ1> raff End of /WHOIS list.
<shaan> wow
<shaan> the polish have an irc server
<shaan> i wonder how many it takes to run it
#28918 [ + | - ] 398
8:08PM  <Shiznaz> for our senior prank we took about ten
buckets of white oil paint and painted in 30 foot tall letters
"GAY PRIDE" on the black tar shingle roof of out school
<Shiznaz> I went to an all boy's school
<Shiznaz> you could see the GAY PRIDE from blocks away
<cornflake> lol
<Shiznaz> they tried painting the white paint black so you
wouldn't see it, but the shingles were more grey than
anything, so it was just as easy to read
<Shiznaz> I think they've just reshingled it since then
<Huge_Spatula> I wish I went to an all boys school. All that
fresh, untapped man ass
#28881 [ + | - ] 225
<Tbodd> I pull no punches with the women
<Tbodd> otherwise, they just get back up and beat the crap
outta me
#28701 [ + | - ] 31
<Damocles> one of my classmate from HS apparently got a boob
job.
<ogre173> cool
<ogre173> is it done good?
<Wetzel_116> heh
<Jim258> lol
<Damocles> dunno.
<Damocles> she works at the video store by my house.
<Damocles> I should go take a look.
<Jim258> or two...
#28690 [ + | - ] 199
<Falsity> tricks are fo kids
<ircbuddy> And hookers.
#28605 [ + | - ] 280
<Yukanojo> engrish.com is proof that the japanese are just as
bad as the americans in that they like to spout stupid things
in other languages
<Yukanojo> for all we know, those shirts with trendy kanji on
them probably say "WOODEN BLOATED CHICKEN PENIS"
#28496 [ + | - ] 343
*** Quits: amyafk (africhot@vw-12506.bigpond.net.au) (Exit:
Faith is the bird that feels the light and sings when the dawn
isstill dark!)
<jm> Karma is the bird that shits on your car after you wash
it from doing donuts on the local church's front lawn
#28436 [ + | - ] 38
<+santa|> wouldnt it be funny if eminem was mexican
<+[SLiM]D12> lol
<+santa|> and he was like.. Eminesse
#28379 [ + | - ] 170
<Tr1driph0n> shouldn't the past tense of shit be shot?
<Tr1driph0n> like, you know, 'i shot my pants'?
#28348 [ + | - ] 1844
<tis_berni> I'm a construction worker
<tis_berni> for one more week
<tam> and then?
<moof> then he has to be the indian or the navy guy.
#28226 [ + | - ] 397
<Threeboy> don't use it ever when i'm in here please.
<_3D_Mike|work> use what?
<_3D_Mike|work> whigger?
<Threeboy> "nigger" it's fucking rascist.
<JonM> I am not racisct
<JonM> it was easier to type then african american
#28214 [ + | - ] 279
<krisi> anyone from ireland?
<Tbodd> no, we're all sober
#28175 [ + | - ] 263
<clay> my car is immobile
<ryanwrk> doesnt that go against the whole point of a car
existing
<clay> i can push it around
#28167 [ + | - ] 1092
<worksoufy> man i need to eat
<Trak3r> that's "yoda" speak for "i need to eat a man"
<worksoufy> sick bastard you are
#28141 [ + | - ] 743
<Dedushka> Syntax error: function hell() needs an argument.
Please choose what hell you want to involve
<Dedushka> i dunno much fortran
<madiera> FORTRAN compilers are more like "error, gorak think
u program not working.  gorak consult rock and tree."
#28132 [ + | - ] 286
<BMTwigzta> People act like 9/11 was some big thing, it's not
like they crashed EFnet or anything
#28125 [ + | - ] 437
<Rjx> I could be good at marketing
<Rjx> I'd target spam at geeks
<Rjx> "Viagra! Increase your Uptime!"
#28079 [ + | - ] 152
<PS_GAMER> Neill, just to be sure, that text compression
problem with SD3 is a thing of the past, correct?
<Neill1712> PS: Well, I killed the text compression. But now
the text compression's big brother is hiring someone to kill
me, so I'll keep you posted
<PS_GAMER> Thanks.
#28053 [ + | - ] 122
<+Fro`> flea markets have black people?
<+santa|> Fro` yeah, cheap too
#28049 [ + | - ] 643
Statik : are you going to sleep?
Statik : I need to get off so my sister can go to sleep
Statik : um...I didn't mean it like that >:(
#28033 [ + | - ] 106
<@i-node> I thought battlenet checked to see if you were
korean
<@i-node> if(iskorean()){acceptconnection();}
#28007 [ + | - ] 511
<|Crash|> condoms suck!
<iota> so do kids
#27944 [ + | - ] 1999
UsMc-LiTe: OMFG I JUST GOT A GF!!!!!!!!!
AkIrAgOrN909: Sadly folks, hes talking about the Grandfather
sword in Diablo 2.
#27921 [ + | - ] 313
<Kiko> I love you guys
<@mjau> we love you too kiko
<@mjau> dude, kiko... isnt that a type of soy sauce
<@mjau> KIKOMAN
<@mjau> hehehe
<@mjau> salty yet delicious
<Kiko> Thats what SHE said
<Kiko> :)
#27914 [ + | - ] 418
<aiko> Whenever I see animal sex on TV, it's always awkward
because there's no cheesy porn music in the background.
<aiko> But I guess if they used cheesy porn music, people
would automatically start masturbating.
#27893 [ + | - ] 171
<Rick^y>shit, one time, i jerked off into kleenex, but i
didn't have enough time to through it out cause the phone rang
<Rick^y>so i forget about the kleenex, and couple hours later
i end up wiping my mouth with it
<illy>yumm...
#27863 [ + | - ] 1311
(@BigTruck): 'magine havin' to go to the emergency room and
fill out that little questionaire paper at the beginning
"description of ailment"
(@Phitz): hahahaha
(@BigTruck): i got a nerf football stuck in my hootie
*** Joins: hootie (blah@209.250.58.28)
(@BigTruck): :o
(@Phitz): wtf
(@BigTruck): my mind just exploded
(@Phitz): *nod*
#27823 [ + | - ] 581
* m4z3` kicks dalnet
* Quits: m4z3` (maze@216.206.242.213) (Killed
(zone.hub.us.dal.net ()))
<Jagfire> And DALnet kicks back
#27794 [ + | - ] 1137
<Vellius>  ... I wonder if the really nerdy Klingons learn how
to speak english
#27791 [ + | - ] 474
<Raenne>  Damnit, my cookies are only half baked
<Tungee>  Smoke em up a bit more then
<Futility>  Heh heh heh... half baked.
<Raenne>  I stuck em back in the oven :)
<Tungee>  Mazi
<Tungee>  Nazi
<Raenne>  ...
<Raenne>  They are COOKIES, not PEOPLE
<Raenne>  chocolate chip :)
<Tungee>  The nazi's didn't believe the Jews were people
either
#27741 [ + | - ] 513
<jagyd> I think you finally found a character not limited by
your intellectual capabilities.
<Dwopple the Orc> huh?
#27690 [ + | - ] 813
<Dragon-Beast> Yoshi's Story
<Dragon-Beast> so so so easy
<lazz|away> well it wasnt exactly aimed at older gamers
<Dragon-Beast> I know that, but I can't figure out how
pregnant women are supposed to get the controller past the
cervix so Nintendo can reach  its target audience.
#27650 [ + | - ] 523
<Inter> 90 percent of chicks on the internet are cock teases.
<`MT> other 10% have cocks
#27628 [ + | - ] 202
<Guilty> If I ever smoked crack I'd be sure to put aside a few
dollars per robbery for hygenic purposes
<Guilty> Like for every DVD player I jacked, buy a bottle of
shampoo
<Guilty> Maybe some q-tips