hQDB :: hacker Quote Database

Network Stats: 21105 Approved Quotes | 0 in Moderation Queue
#31867 [ + | - ] 719
<%pain> let's do some al quida jokes. anyone? /:
< baggy>  well has anyone ever noticed that The War Against
Terrorism is never abbreviated as TWAT ?
#31836 [ + | - ] 1386
<Meridian> fucking
<Meridian> best thing about ramen noodles
<Meridian> my girlfriend did NOT know what they were
<Meridian> so i was making some
<rohan> rofl
<Meridian> and i put the flavouring packet thing on the sink
<Meridian> and she sees the packet
<Meridian> and what SHE sees
<Meridian> is a little condom shaped wrapper
<Meridian> saying "beef flavour"
#31817 [ + | - ] 958
(oddmud): oh great, here comes another idiot
(@tekzil): afraid of a little competition?
#31812 [ + | - ] 215
<_kd> msn is the closest thing to parking a white van outside
a school yard
#31797 [ + | - ] 329
<Dejer> anyone know where the hell Femunda cheese comes from
<InCDeathmeister> Femunda these nuts
#31781 [ + | - ] -198
<blake> they used to play this game called pheonix
*** Satan-\\\ has joined #doctors
<blake> where they dress up like orcs and shit
*** ChanServ sets mode: +v Satan-\\\
<stx-tyler> these people at college last yr always played
magic....they were like total fags
*** Murder|away| is now known as LoD|MurdeR
<blake> and run around in the woods
<stx-tyler> i think they were seriouslly homo :/
<blake> and hit each other with styrofoam swords
*** [WS]n00b is now known as [WS]Arutha-Drinking
<stx-tyler> AND THROW BALLS AND YELL "LIGHTNING BOLT"
<^TV^SinSemilla> lol
#31759 [ + | - ] 620
essiah00Guy: I can't stand your fuckery.
jass10816: lol
jass10816: my mom is standing right behind me
jass10816: good one
Messiah00Guy: THE DRUGS YOU ORDERED
Messiah00Guy: ARE ON THEIR WAY
Messiah00Guy: GG
jass10816: im going to get you
Messiah00Guy: From behind?
#31744 [ + | - ] 321
<@*****> :( i suck
* @SpeedyPhoenix zips up
<@SpeedyPhoenix> why the sad face? it was good.
#31742 [ + | - ] 37
<DarkSkeye> my mouse died :-(
<casmill2> you gonna bury it in the backyard?
#31698 [ + | - ] 131
Feyd-Rautha: So when are you getting cable anyways?
Hsu: soon
Feyd-Rautha: I can taste the broadband
Hsu: taste like victory
Feyd-Rautha: But a word of advice: don't put your lips on a
live cable wire.
#31659 [ + | - ] 276
<tethfs> you're a bit dim, arent you?
<Hazza|1942> dim?
<tethfs> evidently so.
#31632 [ + | - ] 320
<CreepingDeath> what was that other guy
<CreepingDeath> during WWII
<CreepingDeath> he was in charge of the concentration camps
<CreepingDeath> argh can't remember his name
<Malek> colonel klink?
#31585 [ + | - ] 180
<SkycreatoR_> SkycreatoR_ Loves to suck every chinese boys
dick!
<SkycreatoR_> Eh uh ..
<SkycreatoR_> Squirly Loves to suck every chinese boys dick!
#31578 [ + | - ] 1190
<kng^hem> jävla kattkräken satt å käka på min inplastade
baguette ja just köpt..
<kng^hem> dom fick straffsitta på kökslampan ett tag :P
<Robbat> hahah
<kng^hem> faans jävla okynnes feta små as ibland
<orion> ï dønt kñõw  wëèdï h
#31577 [ + | - ] 290
<Godsey> there is a problem w/ our house :)
<Godsey> there is a small cosmetic call next to the toilet
<Godsey> and I'm afraid my fat ass won't fit :)
<Godsey> so I'm taking the wall out
<etrigan> with your ass?
#31576 [ + | - ] 212
<ThundR> does this irc client make my butt look big?
#31573 [ + | - ] 94
<Neural> I learned who I was while sitting in county lockup
for soliciting underage girl runaways into taking nude photos
for their hollywood actress portfolio.
<Neural> you'd be surprise how many show up at the L.A. bus
terminal everyday.
<Neural> at first I was there for the 2600 meets....then it
was for the teeny runaways.
#31568 [ + | - ] 106
<storm_> http://www.cnn.com/2000/NATURE/01/13/monkey.cloning/
index.html
<storm_> they clone them and send them on to irc
#31565 [ + | - ] 13
<etrigan> im gonna take that fricking printer and stick it up
your asshole, and then print out gay pron on it. fricking
h0m0.
#31564 [ + | - ] 301
<meenk> and when you get to the point
<meenk> fold it up and tuck it?
<ophie> +-----------------*
<ophie> |  roll with this |\_    when you get to the flap
<ophie> |  flap --->      |  \_   tuck this little pointed
<ophie> |  to the outside |    \_  end into the flap
<ophie> |                 |      \_
<ophie> +-----------------+---------*
<etr1gan> how odd, an ascii diagram for rolling a dollar for
snorting
#31563 [ + | - ] 265
<sin|away> wanna see a turtle ride a slug?
<sin|away> compile a vb program in wine
#31561 [ + | - ] 212
<etr1gan> you know your drunk when irc gives you motion
sickness.
#31560 [ + | - ] 234
<twink-E> man i've tried PCP, LSD, DMT, and THC, but nothing
beats IRC!
#31558 [ + | - ] 163
<ginger> my summer was alright i guess, went to the beach and
met a couple guys blah hehe
<ginger> still a virgin
#31553 [ + | - ] 192
<neocakko> playing in a pile of leaves is more fun than sex.
<neocakko> because leaves don't say "you really suck at this."
<syke> a pile of leaves won't nickname you "scrape & wash"
afterwards either
#31552 [ + | - ] 1283
<spritegoddess> I poked myself in the eye
<spritegoddess> while feeding myself cheetos.
<spritegoddess> I suck at life.
#31551 [ + | - ] 161
<spacegirl> because i don't suck dick
<P-Rex> how do your mates keep you from talking during sex
then, kellie?
#31549 [ + | - ] 49
<sdr> SHE MAKES MY DILL GO KOSHER BABY
#31548 [ + | - ] 83
<entropy> goin to get my tatt touched up here in about 10 min
<j0shua> what kind of tatt?
<entropy> 'entropy' on my back in apple ][e chars
#31547 [ + | - ] 740
<Porridge> after the prom... we went to stay at this girls
house... they had an assload of good CDs and CD-Rs and a
burner
<bmk> you went to a girls house after prom..... and you were
thinking about burning cd's?
#31546 [ + | - ] 32
<punkgrl> have you had anal sex?
<Pr1ncess> hahaheoah
<Pr1ncess> no
<Pr1ncess> have u had anal sex punkgrl?
<punkgrl> hahah nah :) im a wimp.. that would hurt too much..
it would be like taking one of those poops that hurts your
butthole real badly cuz it stretches it apart.. yeee-owie
<Pr1ncess> i think it would be worse then taking a big shit
#31543 [ + | - ] 557
<Pr1ncess> oh sick i just sneezed and blood shot out of my
crotch
<etrigan> that time again??
<Pr1ncess> hahaha
<Pr1ncess> yes
<Pr1ncess> that was a pretty fucking sick thing to say wasnt
it?
<etrigan> hell yes
#31542 [ + | - ] 144
<napster> if you have issues w/ him, take them up in msg
<bill^> no prob
<bill^> actually, when he comes back to NJ I will take it up
with him with a baseball bat....
<napster> why is that?
<bill^> it is much more effective.
#31541 [ + | - ] 219
<athena-> I'm not a jew, but I have been known to make some
boys men at age 13 *wink*
#31540 [ + | - ] 306
<zugz> I can't stand people that preach, "Only God can judge"
and yet simultaneously ridicule others for adultery, etc
<zugz> I don't know about what they believe, but my God wants
me to get some.
#31511 [ + | - ] 322
Frosterfree: I will tell you what my hell is, you guys
probably don't read enough to know what ADD is do you
Frosterfree: Attention Defecit Disorder
Frosterfree: it's a learning disability
Frosterfree: discovered extensivly in 1980
Frosterfree: a year before I was born
Frosterfree: I have had to fight that my entire fuck'n life
Frosterfree: my kids will have to fight it for their entire
lives
CatGonk: You won't have kids. Trust me on this.
#31488 [ + | - ] 28
Kiyomi_Shinfuji: CaptKirby: ne1 that uses drugs
Kiyomi_Shinfuji: CaptKirby: is stupider than LP for fucking
men
LavosPhoenix: what's wrong with knowing your place?
LavosPhoenix: and it isn't men...
LavosPhoenix: since my friend and I are under 18
Kiyomi_Shinfuji: minors buttfucking just makes it SO MUCH
BETTER then, doesn't it, LP?
LavosPhoenix: well... we don't do anal secks much anyway...
#31467 [ + | - ] 112
<N715DP> yeah, no kidding
<N715DP> me - actually buying a MS OS
<N715DP> hell hath frozen over
<eggs_> guess I need to go find Jesus
#31446 [ + | - ] 261
<Hammy> my forehead is flakey
<Nastard> must be peeling from sunburn
<Nastard> did you open a window recently?
#31435 [ + | - ] 752
<Faldarith> I should give you some information on my school,
our black population
<Faldarith> is named Andre
#31343 [ + | - ] 1195
<mrphilez> how many inches is 69mm?
<GLHTurbo> let me measure my penis
<Avram> how would that help? you have a 69mm penis?
<GLHTurbo> yes
<_neil> 69mm = 6.9cm = 2.71"
<GLHTurbo> yes i do
<GLHTurbo> oh wait
#31338 [ + | - ] 374
<FJ> you know what the coolest thing about IRC is?
<ashendragon> what
<FJ> you can talk with your mouth full and still be understood
#31337 [ + | - ] 59
[@Kamagurka] (akino): if you are no freak, what are you then?
you already admitted to being a goth, you know...
[+akino] i know. but i am not a freak.
[+akino] i am from mars
#31334 [ + | - ] 772
<D4NG3R0U5> why is it, in the commercials the bottles of
medicine stop talking when the actor picks them up?
<D4NG3R0U5> usually when i pick up my med bottles they keep
talkin "2 a day? what are you, a pussy! take 6!" "it says
don't drink alcohol after taking me...you gonna let them tell
you what to do?"
#31331 [ + | - ] 562
<ViolenceJack> i just became the escape goat and asked for
it...
<Ecliptik> What's an escape goat? Do you ride it?
#31329 [ + | - ] 303
<PinkRubberBall> After much tear and blood I finally got
windows to accept my cd burner
<Uhclem> Sure it accepts it, but does it LOVE it
#31327 [ + | - ] 707
<Entil-Zha> ::creams like a girl::
<NeoPartix> lmao
<Entil-Zha> *screams
<Entil-Zha> fuck you
#31326 [ + | - ] 264
*** devil`` has joined #geekissues
<devil``> happy new year
<Quorthy> now that's lag
#31324 [ + | - ] 369
<Dopefish> there is sometimes a denial stage in drinking
<Agg> no there isn't!
#31320 [ + | - ] 122
<Devon_Lake> Ya, but if you slap a kid around for being a
brat, your'e evil.  Slice of part of his wang and they'll
cannonise you.