hQDB :: hacker Quote Database

Network Stats: 21105 Approved Quotes | 0 in Moderation Queue
#33383 [ + | - ] 169
<max> I need game
<not_jsmonet> possibly
<not_jsmonet> or you need to start hitting on women in comas
<not_jsmonet> no means no....only if you can say it
#33375 [ + | - ] 575
<jestuh> What's the worse part of raping a 5yo boy?
<jestuh> Getting blood on your clown suit
#33372 [ + | - ] 39
<Indole> never thought I'd say this, but I think I'm actually
missing pubes a bit.
<Phucker> It happens to the best of us.
<Phucker> ":("
<steelcap> lol
#33367 [ + | - ] 295
<KK-> shydawg I am sweating like R. Kelly at a girl scout
meeting
#33366 [ + | - ] 823
<umop|apisdn|MoD> oh my god
<umop|apisdn|MoD> i forgot to wipe my ass
<umop|apisdn|MoD> brb
#33360 [ + | - ] 1904
([Smaug]) im actualy homo-phobic
([Smaug]) honest
(+Porn-Star) he thinks anyway
([Smaug]) once i saw a gay person and i just started running
(+Porn-Star) u catch him?
#33357 [ + | - ] 154
< Begbie> I wonder if I pester the Real Doll company long
enough, if they'll produce a midget Real Doll?
#33352 [ + | - ] 377
<Tomboy> You know that you have watched too much porn when you
start to recognize the dicks of the male pornstars.. "Yeah
that's rocco's dick alright.."
#33350 [ + | - ] 84
<jonny579> You know, esophagi are kinda like strange vaginas.
#33347 [ + | - ] 193
<r00t> I thought it was raining outside, but it turned out
just to be a cron job
#33342 [ + | - ] 761
<Tre`> I have no girl
<Tre`> to give me sex
<Tre`> all I have
<Tre`> is binary and hex
#33341 [ + | - ] 26
sugarcookie: then make sure you masterbate so you dont kill me
tomorrow
#33329 [ + | - ] 108
<MynDwun> this fat girl with 5 chins waved at me and I almost
cried before puking
#33328 [ + | - ] 160
<jusque> neva let a girl give you head with gum in her mouth
it hurts when you have to take gum outta youre pubes
#33326 [ + | - ] 34
<aggiN> kurupt.. u have a very limited taste in music
<Santana> kurupted has limited pube growth too!
<Santana> its like a nyc rain forest
#33322 [ + | - ] 279
(Fetch) freebsd and novell can go fuck themselves
(Fetch) with a pole
(Sancho) why don't you tell us how you really feel
(tobyl) Sancho: Because it would be too disturbing for words.
(Fetch) I'd like to hold the pole, so that I could violate
them in a more
+bloody fashion
(Fetch) I would wiggle it around, so that their irritated and
bloody anus
+holes would become twice their normal diameter.
(IDK) Sancho: And THAT's why he shouldn't tell us how he
really feels.
#33315 [ + | - ] 227
<jafo> one more drink and I'll be ready for gay sex
#33312 [ + | - ] 519
<@WhiteRob> Shit, I wish some game publisher would have the
testicular fortitude to release a fucking dating sim in the US
<@dj_CRYME> why would u want a dating sim
<@WhiteRob> ... I dunno, I want to feel loved :p
<@dj_CRYME> nah u want to see graphical characters have sex on
your computer screen dont you
<@WhiteRob> possibly, yes.
#33309 [ + | - ] 37
<@psyde> i'm in a violence gang
<@psyde> we steal lunch money
<@psyde> and buy 40's
<DJ-SoLiD> lol
<DJ-SoLiD> thats gangsta
#33308 [ + | - ] 165
<ElJimador> u ppl meet potential mates off the internet?
ewwwww
<ElJimador> mailorderbride.com
<[gabe]> well, with a name like "hot4u" or "sweet12f" how can
i resist?!
#33297 [ + | - ] -252
<M3_> i bet u dont got a quote of me
#33295 [ + | - ] 23
<G-R-G> I put Trojan Magnums over my head
#33292 [ + | - ] 3
<escoJones> my friend called me last night and said someone
keeps canseling his downloads on napster so he asked me how i
send them a virus
#33291 [ + | - ] 139
<Levi> lol i walk upto girls and say asl :/
#33289 [ + | - ] 176
<Mank> Oh man, I am so, so good at talking to girls on AIM
<Mank> And it's all thanks to you guys!
<Ben> Mank, its not hard.
<Slime> Mank, swimfan4u isn't real.
<Slime> Sorry.
#33288 [ + | - ] 73
<tobeornot> ruff ryders anthem is unforgettable
<trips> cause its so horrible
<trips> like if you see a dead body
<trips> that would be unforgettable too
<trips> cause its out of the ordinary
<trips> and its definitely not a good thing
#33215 [ + | - ] 176
<LEMC> (%) Resolved 18.244.1.156 to
ANAL-RAPE-VICTIM-REHABILITATION-PROGRAM.MIT.EDU.
#33214 [ + | - ] 32
<Levi> this girl didnt have a mobile number so i asked for her
uin :<
#33213 [ + | - ] 357
<Z28`> first of all my dad has a pretty large penis
#33212 [ + | - ] 137
<pe> how do u see what modules are loaded into apache
<deth1666-> wear 3d glasses
#33205 [ + | - ] 192
<radez> i tried slitting my wrist 3 days ago cuz i realized
that my life sucked but then
<radez> i wanted to watch coyote ugly
#33132 [ + | - ] 878
<EvilJoven> PDF is suck
<EvilJoven> everyone should make their manuals using HTML
<hikari-chan> Why do people in insist on using verbs as
adjectives?
<tack> because is fun
<ketsugi> cos that's so impress
<EvilJoven> because everythings been done before
<EvilJoven> our generation has nothing to conquer, everythings
been explored, we're basically just sitting here now kinda
hanging out until the generation above us dies and we can take
over
<EvilJoven> so screw it, lets play nintendo and butcher the
english language
#33131 [ + | - ] 485
<yeyey> why cant i compile my code?
<programmer> well do you have a compiler?
<yeyey> whats that?
#33119 [ + | - ] 181
<Desus> I'll just stick with my orginal plan for Nelly in the
left channel and lil romeo in the right channel, and my voice
panning back and forth going "this is not hip-hop"
#33107 [ + | - ] -113
<synth3tic> they used to air 3rd rock from the sun on here now
<synth3tic> now they're airing some niggervision show with
queen latifa
#33106 [ + | - ] 693
<jestuh> and i'm 14k in debt on CCs
<jestuh> ;[
<synth3tic> STOP BUYING SHIT
#33105 [ + | - ] 138
<Kenji310> Crap shit, my teacher wants me to find out how
dogfishes reproduce
<Wallon> Um, dogfish sex?
<Kenji310> yep
<Stryker> They do it doggie style.
#33104 [ + | - ] 1135
<mem-out> .=~
<mem-out> flea with a flamethrower
<wob> ^- idiot with a keyboard
#32994 [ + | - ] 142
* uoyem (meyou@little.filipino.kids.handle-my.biz) Quit ([BX]
Just do it like Nike... BEEATCH!)
<cjwc> irony?
#32989 [ + | - ] 35
<timmo> i fucking hate
<timmo> when i answer the phone
<timmo> and it gos like this
<timmo> me: hello?
<timmo> person: hello?
<timmo> me: ... <click>
<timmo> well i hate everything besides the last line
#32985 [ + | - ] 64
* Kaos legally owns Unknown Artist - Track 3 and doesn't
pirate at all!
<Kitsa> oo, I love that song
#32983 [ + | - ] 1368
<WaterBomb> Actually, your penis is one of the cleanest parts
of your body, since it receives little or no exposure to dirt
and bacteria.
<WaterBomb> So, in theory, sucking your own dick is healthier
than sucking your thumb
<Clicky_Pen> ...
<NickWhiz1> ...
<LavosPhoenix> ...
<Melkor> ...
#32981 [ + | - ] 190
<Adonai> but the sex toy shop guy might think i'm crazy buying
like 15 dildos
<Alyssa^eating> wth...
<Alyssa^eating> I just get back and I see that
<Adonai> so what's the lesson you learned today Alyssa?
<Alyssa^eating> I'm not sure
<Adonai> don't come back to IRC ;oD
#32969 [ + | - ] 180
<carson> what's the easiest way to get gimp on os x?
<Spam_Man> install Photoshop
#32966 [ + | - ] 687
* sarah13 is now known as sarah14
<ircbuddy> Happy e-Birthday.
#32960 [ + | - ] 313
<samurai> need to finish this crap for school but I can't get
it done... any help here?
<taleweaver> sure... what do you need?
<samurai> whats the opposite of eloquence?
<taleweaver> george w. bush?
#32956 [ + | - ] 162
<Gokou-sama> Which reminds me...whenever I get my own house,
I'ma have little somewhat fancy glass bottles with a tag
around their necks that says "Drink Me". I'll also make
current cupcakes that say "Eat Me" in the currents.
<Draconis[TCI]> and all the intrevenous drug needles with have
lil "Inject Me" signs
<Gokou-sama> lol that'd be funny
<Gokou-sama> And tie one around my girlfriend's neck
(supposing I had one) that said "Fuck Me"
#32955 [ + | - ] 345
<@Techno|AO> Dammit, NOW who am I going to make fun of?
<@Techno|AO> I just found out there's a strip club in Quebec
where you can get the strippers to give you blowjobs for 60
bucks Canadian!
<alisdair> 60 dollars cdn is expensive for a blowjob in quebec
<Cornjob7> You can get strippers in Dallas to give you
blowjobs for $20 dollars, you get a free STD of your choice
too.
* Theta furiously takes notes.
#32954 [ + | - ] 213
<Takashi> is there any mecha-hentai with mechs doing each
other?
#32901 [ + | - ] 238
<c0rnflake> what the fuck
<c0rnflake> lol
<c0rnflake> dude
<c0rnflake> whats that one site to get your own ip?
<c0rnflake> www.whatsmyip.com ?
<madlib> www.dunno.com
<travolta> c0rnflake: aol keyword: ip
<c0rnflake> Im not on aol
<c0rnflake> lol
<travolta> you sure?