<Sqrfrk> I went and watched 300 <Sqrfrk> That movie was badass <ErrorNotFound404> oh <ErrorNotFound404> im gonna go on thurs <ErrorNotFound404> dont tell me anything <Sqrfrk> They all die.
<[Ko]Rob_e_lee1> ur retarted lol <[ko]theuberelite> thats the most hypocritical statement I've ever heard.
<SixFeet-> rejected by a computer script, new low in my life <NTT> well, at least u didnt have cybersex with one of those bots that pm's you here on mirc <SixFeet-> well i tried, but it replied with "lets just be friends..." <SixFeet-> =(
<Dan_Dinh> *yet? <Dan_Dinh> you haven't done the review ye ? <Spik3balloon> holy crap, dan can see into the future
<SWTrilman> i'm not huge into porn <Draken> my porn interests, no punning here, come and go <SWTrilman> i used to be into it <SWTrilman> i guess i just got over it <Draken> but she looks so sweet and cute and wholesome... and then she's masturbating to turtles <SWTrilman> or something <Draken> eh, you get burned out on porn <Draken> you either distance yourself for the most part, or seek out more and more extreme porn to fill the gaping hole in yourself. <Draken> then you get arrested for raping a sheep while wearing a Spiderman costume
<Rynol> Until individual protons play little quark violins. <Zrith> I imagine attempting to play music on a quark might prove problematic. <Zrith> You either get to figure out where you are in a song, or what the tempo is. <Rynol> Of course, if we were talking string theory then it'd be easier, what with the inherent resonance and all.
<dude> this is belgium at its best <dude> our minister of defense takes a chopper to fly 60 kms to go see Al Gore's movie about climate change <dude> beat that
<caddis> the hardest thing about buying a macbook is telling your parents you are gay
<Mirconium>Several sequels have been announced for Gears of War <Mirconium>The new games will include Sprockets of Peace, Pulleys of Neutrality, Fulcrums of Strife, Screws of Fixation, and Wheels of Locomotion.
<Javin> Oh. <Javin> My. <Javin> God. <Javin> We have a unit here. It's about the size of a small speaker. <Javin> In big letters across the front of it, it says "DATA DESTROYER." <Javin> Some idiot comes into my office just now, and asks, "hey, what is this thing?" <Javin> I say sarcastically, "it's a DVD polisher..." <Javin> Next thing I hear: *GRIND GRIND GRIND* "WHAT THE FUCK?!?!" <Javin> Now they're pissed at ME. <Javin> Because THEY couldn't read. <Javin> Besides, it's not like I gave them PERMISSION to use MY "DVD Polisher." <Javin> I hate people.
<HaX.1337> U're all lame as hell here!!!!! I can hack u all in no time! just tell me your ip and u're dead! <Maler.home> try mine <Maler.home> 127.0.0.1 *** Signoff: HaX.1337 (Connection reset by peer) <Damz|dispute> wow. never thought such a retard nick can get his hands on something actually working xD
<@dekkon> ive got an appointment at the eye doctor on the 13th <@dekkon> finally going to get contacts <@terminal_> contacts are a pain in the ass <+jmx> terminal they go in your eyes
<HellDragon> why do i make the same face when i orgasm than when i go backward in my car
<peerce> Some people, when confronted with a problem, think "I know, Ill use regular expressions." Now they have two problems.
<kimos> You seem (in my (humble) opinion (which doesn't mean much)) to be (or possibly could be) more of a Lisp programmer (but I could be (and probably am) wrong).
<laszlow> What would you rather wake up to at three in the morning? A dick in your mouth or a clown grinning at you from across the room? <Neal> I can only pick one
<c-unut> pfft slipknot <Finch > slipknot go good <c-unut> I've always seen them sorta like anal sex <Finch> if u want to look at it that way... <c-unut> You know, I appreciate that some may enjoy it, and it has its moments, but at the end of the day, its still fucking shit.
<@BalefireX> you dated a sea mammal <+Spexor_> if you ask her we never dated <@YucA> man <@YucA> i dunno whats worse <@YucA> that he admits to dating a sea mammal <@YucA> or that said sea mammal wouldnt admit to dating him
<fatcat> Someone wrote <shit> on the outside of a stall door in the bathroom, and </shit> on the inside.
<matt____> hey guys is there a way to patch an older redhat server?? <matt____> Linux devcvs 2.2.16-22 #1 Tue Aug 22 16:49:06 EDT 2000 i686 unknown <Evolution> holy hell <Evolution> 2.2.16? <Evolution> just out of curiosity, what's the uptime on that antique? <matt____> devnu11:18am up 2287 days, 2:52, 25 users, load average: 1.76, 1.26, 0.70 <Zathrus> gods
< kakistos> lol. i liked the java compiler. < kakistos> does the c compiler not tell you what you did wrong? < deviant> C is great < ewan> the Java compiler is all like "you have an uninitialised variable there, would you like a hug?" < ewan> gcc is like "raaagh! I do no bounds-checking! Your mother sucks cocks in hell!"
<jaMESG[champ]> you know, i always thought that i kept my desk kinda clean <jaMESG[champ]> turning the keyboard over and tapping the back of it <jaMESG[champ]> so much shit falls out of it <jaMESG[champ]> jesus <burningpapersun> lol <burningpapersun> jesus fell out of your keyboard? <jaMESG[champ]> yeah <jaMESG[champ]> i kicked that fucker out <jaMESG[champ]> didn't pay rent <jaMESG[champ]> just squatted <jaMESG[champ]> in my keyboard
<Snojoe> I am a genius <Snojoe> I just came up with a new game <mbb102488> oh lord, what now? <Gnarly> did you finally figure out hand + dick, joe? <Snojoe> Bash drinking game <mbb102488> lol <Snojoe> I'm serious! go onto the random page <Snojoe> and you take a drink for every quote of like <Snojoe> tubgirl <Snojoe> or even goatse <Gnarly> no, 2 for goatse <Snojoe> uh, no... 2 drinks are reserved for every one about niggers <Gnarly> lmao <mbb102488> wow... <Gnarly> just don't hope you randomly don't get the whole bottom list as random <Gnarly> else you'd be fucked
<Aiko> Nothing beats the look on a 14-year-old boy's face when his older sister catches him watching femdom porn, smiles and tells him she's already seen that one. <9874354> speaking from experience? <Aiko> Yep. ^_^
arucardegungrave: Yeah, Jesus tried to save me, but there was no space on his memory card.
<CptSage> Awesome error message <CptSage> Best one ever <CptSage> A network error has occured. This computer's Internet connection appears to be online. (-66559).
<Snojoe> Lemme ask you somethin <Gnarly> Okay... <Snojoe> If you date a two-headed chick, and you want sex, and one of them says no.. <Snojoe> is it rape? <Gnarly> you dont have much free time, do you? <Snojoe> Time is a factor here, man... need an answer
<bloodfart> this homeless dude was eating a pie <bloodfart> that someone bought him <destx> wicked <bloodfart> he got up to cross the road and tripped over, dropping the pie <bloodfart> as if your life couldnt get any worse
<+llama> just sold some vibrating panties <+llama> $50 panties <barryh> did you wear them 1st? <+llama> naw <+llama> they are like a cheap hotel, no ballroom
Jenna says: I Jenna says: l Jenna says: o Jenna says: v Jenna says: e Jenna says: y David says: C-C-C-COMBO BREAKER! Jenna says: what the **** is your problem? Jenna says: why do you always do that?
<sdodson> I'm trying to figure out if my neighbors have really bad rhythm or if they're hanging photos on the wall
<Turkeyslam> oh man I saw pure gold at lunch, I was sitting near this group of black guys at a table and they all had tucked in shirts and shit, looked educated, I think they were studying calculus or some shit <Turkeyslam> and across from there, there was another table with a bunch of white guys, all ghetto looking, three of them wore fucking grills, sagging pants, and one was playing some 50 cent ringtone or some shit <Turkeyslam> going "yeah boiiii" <Turkeyslam> and one of the black guys in the table next to me muttered "fucking niggers" <Turkeyslam> I choked on my fucking jolt cola
<altus> internet diet is shitty <altus> cookies and spam all the time <xoroa> yea. and the cookies are totally dubious. i mean, who would eat one that expires in 2017?
<Tostitos> i like my women the way i like my coffee <Jet> Ground up and in the freezer? <SteveTheImpermeableHamster> full of your cream? <mistik> hawt? <Dokterrock> What, tied up in a sack and thrown over the back of a burro? <RaMTuFF> quiet ? <Jet>: Colombian? <Aimee> hot? <Jet> From McDonalds? <djswift2k3> Black? <SteveTheImpermeableHamster> in a cup? <Jet> Spilt all over your lap? <Aimee> cheap? <whiteboihere> strong and black?/ <Tostitos> i hate you all
CharmQuark42: a math sheep? Quillethe: it would explain the counting CharmQuark42: it does integ-wools!
<NightShade> you know what a vampire puts in his hot water to make tea? <NightShade> a used tampon
MisterMunshun: I used to be a telemarketer, working for the Shriners. I'd call people up and try and get them to sponsor a group of needy and handicapped kids from the Shriner's hospitals to go see the circus. MisterMunshun: One night, i'm making my calls, and i come to this name on one of my sheets MisterMunshun: "Mrs. Pucci" MisterMunshun: I'm making the calls before it, but i'm just going through the motions, because in my head, over and over, i'm thinking MisterMunshun: DON'T SAY PUSSY DON'T SAY PUSSY DON'T SAY PUSSY IT'S POO-CHI POO-CHI NOT PUSSY DON'T SAY PUSSY MisterMunshun: So, I dial her up MisterMunshun: She answers MisterMunshun: "Hello, Mrs. Pussy?" MisterMunshun: everyone in the office immediately bursts into laughter, and i just fucking deflate. MisterMunshun: I can't fucking apologize because everyone is laughing, which is making ME laugh. MisterMunshun.: And it wouldn't have mattered anyway, she'd already fucking hung up. Jake: and you were fired
<PhoenixBourne> Ok, so a friend of mine had an AWESOME idea at school <PhoenixBourne> You know rohyphonol? (whatever the spelling is) <linforcer> Is he gontna make a trebuchet <linforcer> no <PhoenixBourne> You know date rape drugs? <linforcer> Sure <PhoenixBourne> Right, rhyphonol is one of these. It knocks you asleep after an hour or two. <PhoenixBourne> I should also mention, a side affect of rhyphonol is amnesia of events whilst under influence of the drug. <PhoenixBourne> Now, a friend of mine had this idea: 1) Prepare ingredients 2) Take rhyphonol 3) Bake cake 4) Fall asleep 5) ?????? 6) Wake up 7) CAKE?! CAKE! Where did this come from?! <linforcer> SURPRISE CAKE!!!!!!
<Rx> I am eating hot dogs that have little bits of cheese inside the frankfurter <Rx> It is amazing. <Rx> I am sure this must be an american invention <Rx> but it's like a man who ejaculates cream cheese is having sex in my mouth with a beautiful pork woman
H2SO4Baddie: it's a good thing easter isn't on groundhog day, cuz then jesus'd come out of his tomb, see his shadow, go back in and we'd have 6 more weeks of winter axoren123: xD
yuseisays: I got one! I got one! BlackDragon412: WHAT? yuseisays: What do you call children that are born in whore houses? yuseisays: BROTHEL SPROUTS BlackDragon412: ... yuseisays: oh crap, wrong persoin
Anti: Physics is like sex, it has practical results but that's not why we do it RaefWolfe: Physics is like sex: I just don't get it
<jms> maybe I can do it in java <jms> but that sounds as pleasant as cheesegrating my testicles
ET: Bash.org is moderated Lily: yeah. xD ET: that stuff has to be approved ET: if Bash.org is moderated, what the hell kinda stuff doesn't make the cut?
<Ken|JLime> Jtag_me If you want a challenge, learn the emacs short commands <Ken|JLime> I'll stick to medical school myself <Jtag_me> haha <Ken|JLime> Its like CTRL-XYWZQFGUJ-F1 (while pressing F2).. and it walks your dog
<osx5> question is there an irc server that has mostly mac users on it? <Eulogy> i hope to god not. <osx5> lol, why <Eulogy> that much arrogance would cause the universe to collapse on itself.
Kanishka: The vagina has 3 holes right? Sahil: no Kanishka: Yeah it does; one for the dick and two for the balls <lol> Sahil: No you fucking dumbass, there aren't three holes Kanishka: Then where do the balls go in? Kyle: They...don't.
<Hawaiian_Pig> that reminds me... if i ever get the chance to write something on a bomb, it'd have to be an ascii wang.