hQDB :: hacker Quote Database

Network Stats: 21105 Approved Quotes | 0 in Moderation Queue
#36611 [ + | - ] 552
<dolbe> blll you really are such a loser
<blll> dolbe, that's like a quadrapelegic telling me I walk
funny
#36608 [ + | - ] 163
<NapkinEater> I hate when I forget what I was going to do in
the time it takes me to move my mouse and click on the IE
button.
<Soundwave> same
<NapkinEater> if I was home, I'd just settle for google'ing "
<ACTRESS NAME> nude"
<NapkinEater> work sucks
#36602 [ + | - ] 163
<Lilmuckers> ever had a wank in school where it hits the
blackboard?
<ibor132> i hate those
#36599 [ + | - ] 244
<Abbadaba> Client just came and filled out our forms before
her appointment.
<Abbadaba> Was looking them over to make sure she filled in
everything properly.
<Abbadaba> Reason for visit: "I think I'm going nuts."
<Abbadaba> Occupation: "Postal Service."
#36594 [ + | - ] 93
(TheOne) I wanna help at #nohacks
(@Matt) take the test, answer one question and you can get in
(@Matt) echo the time in red
(TheOne) .//echo -a $chr(3) $+ 4 $time
(TheOne) omg, so hard, i had to look at the help files </sarc>
(@Matt) its wrong
(TheOne) i think you will find its right
(@Matt) NO .. I R LEET SCRIPTER NOOB .. I WOULD KNOW
(@Matt) -noob
#36591 [ + | - ] 24
<CrdStang> the only good thing the french ever did was two
chicks at one time
<pagan> true dat CrdStang
#36589 [ + | - ] 685
<monoxyde`> damn, irc is full of idiots
<toothpik> whos irc?
#36588 [ + | - ] 336
<Boogaleeboo> You can't rape inanimate objects
<Boogaleeboo> like I can't go "I'm fucking rapping this water
bottle!"
<Boogaleeboo> Or "Mmmmm, you fucking bitch you don't want my
cock, do you sports radio?"
<Boogaleeboo> Doesn't work
#36587 [ + | - ] 158
[@agg]: fs
[@agg]: i was trying to turn on my stereo
[@agg]: for about 5 mins
[@agg]: with my tv remote
#36584 [ + | - ] 39
<RexExitium> "I miss you, Luke."
<RexExitium> "I miss you too, Amidala."
<Tenek> luke?
<LordChaos-AFK> lol
<Relnereth> Luke and amidala?
<RexExitium> "I love you very much, Amidala. I cannot live
without you. Not one second. Not one second."
<Tenek> Anakin, Rex.
<Sir_silver> HOO HA
<Relnereth> incest!!
<RexExitium> "I feel the same way about you, Anakin."
<RexExitium> haha oops.
#36582 [ + | - ] 25
<NuttO> I feel bad whenever I run a search on my nick.
<NuttO> The fact that I feel bad that I'm not on a database of
IRC quotes makes me feel worse.
<NuttO> It's a downward spiral.
#36578 [ + | - ] 478
<bb> Don't spend two dollars to dry clean a shirt. Donate it
to the Salvation Army instead. They'll clean it and put it on
a hanger. Next morning buy it back for seventy-five cents.
#36576 [ + | - ] 59
<x-spirit> in an hour or so I am going offline for the evening
<T_B2k> k :(
<x-spirit> why that sad mouth mate ! =)
<T_B2k> because he's just had surgical facelifts & it's not
currently physically possible for him to smile :( (That was a
smile)
#36570 [ + | - ] 14
<KaMiKrAe-Z> hahah you zoomed in on a babies nads
#36567 [ + | - ] 1365
*** KronicD (KronicD@vw-2677.bigpond.com) Quit (Exit:
Apparently, 1 in 5 people in the world are Chinese. And there
are 5 people in my family, so it must be one of them. It's
either my mum or my dad......or maybe my older brother john.
Or my younger brother Ho-Cha-Chu. But I'm pretty sure it's
john.)
#36563 [ + | - ] 152
<RichiH> warthawg: define "date"
<RichiH> relatives dount count, btw
<warthawg> hmmm define a date
<warthawg> "a social event with a member of the attractive
gender"  no close relatives accepted, however second cousins
approved after dna sampling
<RichiH> heh
<RichiH> warthawg: so.. what gender IS attractive?
#36560 [ + | - ] 552
<Toad> I remember my brother's 21st. It was in a university
hall and all I remember was eating a lot of asparagus.
<Toad> And speeches about people with briefcases.
<Chris_A> Toad, I think that was possibly a board meeting.
<Toad> It might've been!
<Chris_A> Did you come out with a slice of cake, or documents
detailing the fiscal productivity of the 1998 year-end?
<Toad> This joke is now stale.
<NapkinEater> like the cake
<Chris_A> Like the c-- bugger.
<NuttO> Was the cake stale-- FUCK.
<Chris_A> There are no original quips left in this universe,
we must recolonise immediately.
#36557 [ + | - ] 218
<ljlane> I need to do a non-greedy scan on a few gigs of data
for a pattern containing hex and some text. Ideas?
<RichiH> ljlane: suicide?
#36554 [ + | - ] 19
<smarti> hi
<smarti> im 18m from sydney
<smarti> australia
<smarti> any one to chat
<smarti> msg me
<Beerman> as opposed to sydney new zealand
#36551 [ + | - ] 101
<deathz0r> i was setting up opengl drivers
<deathz0r> and it took me 2 days to get them working
<QuiKsiLvA> kool
<QuiKsiLvA> what does it do?
<deathz0r> ...
<QuiKsiLvA> is that were ppl d/l stuff of u or what
<QuiKsiLvA> tell me!
#36549 [ + | - ] 698
<@Porn-Star> do u reckon really geeky Klingons learn english?
#36545 [ + | - ] 727
* Upth tries to figure out why his dog smells like fish.
<Charion> do you have a teenage sister?
<Upth> nope
<Charion> ok no idea then
#36543 [ + | - ] 351
<Thermo-nC-> Why do newbies use X in thier names ?
<-=X=-> I'm nota n00b you fucking mofo fucker!
<Thermo-nC-> I rest my case ;E
#36541 [ + | - ] 44
<DiamonDie> dutch people can't be named ben.
<bool> DiamonDie, why not?
<DiamonDie> because they can't!
<bool> they did!
<bool> even a mobile phone company is called Ben
<DiamonDie> so you're a mobile phone, too?
<DiamonDie> it would be quite odd to be a mobile phone. you'd
get fingered all the time.
#36538 [ + | - ] 149
<fizzie> like there was this one day I took three grams of
sugar and few litres of coke and some assorted lego mindstorm
bits and made sense out of them
<DiamonDie> fizzie: i read "and i snorted lego mindstorm bits"
#36536 [ + | - ] 25
<fadingboy> hmm, it just happened to come on the radio here
that actress Cameron Diaz just gave up pork, having heard that
a pig has the mental capacity of a three year old kid
<BlinkingBear[dishes]> cameron diaz has the mental capacity of
a three year old
<flawd_> are you saying she's a pig BB?
#36530 [ + | - ] 35
<The-Dude> I heard it involves placing a toilet paper tube up
there and letting a hampster crawl in....then pull out the
tube, leaving the hampster in there......
<Kanush> that is disgusting.......yet intriguining "
#36528 [ + | - ] 199
<Karyon> [12:10] * Quits: RainyDay (Will you remember my ass
or my brain? :))
<Karyon> WELL THEY BOTH GOT A LARGE HOLE IN THEM, AND ARE BOTH
FULL OF SHIT!!!!!!!!
#36523 [ + | - ] 12
* Topic is '#studio64: Sex. Angst. Hate. Idiocy.
Socio-theological Debate. || <Sigma> topic change please ||
<Sigma> I'm a big homo.  <Sigma> Please stick something large
and meaty in my poophole. || <Sigma> Thanks'
#36522 [ + | - ] 272
<Diablo-D3> I think I will go to bed
<Diablo-D3> Nothing else to do anymore but sleep
<Diablo-D3> besides working on software
* Diablo-D3 hates working on software, anyhow
* Diablo-D3 sighs
(---about 10 minutes pause---)
<Diablo-D3> yay, everyone ignores me
<RichiH> you are sleeping
<RichiH> you don't exist any more
<RichiH> you just dream that you are in front of your box and
irc
<RichiH> in truth you are being raped by giant snails
#36518 [ + | - ] 421
<qtpielucy2002> what country do ducth people live
<udderbalm> dutchovia.
<qtpielucy2002> really?
#36517 [ + | - ] 331
<road_over> some one is hacking me
<road_over> help
<@InvadeR> hacking you how..
<road_over> the lights on my modem are always flashing
<road_over> is this normal?
#36516 [ + | - ] 226
< dev> it's getting so bash.org is better to read than irc
#36514 [ + | - ] 669
<dOink> brb gotta drop the kids off at the pool
<dOink> i mean... i gotta shit
dOink (dOink@vw27711.pacific.net.au) is now known as dOi[fOOd]
<logicalentity> wtf?!
<logicalentity> food?!
<logicalentity> I thought...
* logicalentity runs away screaming
#36508 [ + | - ] 159
<MaDCoW> verdana is the best font ever
<Threeboy> its allright.
<Threeboy> for a web font.
<MaDCoW> well yea
<Threeboy> when it gets big it gets ugly.
<Threeboy> like a woman.
#36507 [ + | - ] 984
<slackor> maybe, send me your pic first. last person i met off
the net turned out to be 12 FBI agents
#36505 [ + | - ] 294
<reb> im gonna go eat some cocks
<reb> i mean foood
<reb> SHIT
#36504 [ + | - ] 229
<MrFalcon> wtf is ePlus?
<drwiii> your grade in sex ed.
#36499 [ + | - ] 160
þþ joins [THE_HAT (*!rapta@dp-3391.sc.rr.com)]
[THE_HAT] Sup
(dosdemon_) ...
[THE_HAT] ...
[THE_HAT] cant i just say sup?
[THE_HAT] sup == whats up
(dosdemon_) nuttin dawg sup wit choo chit nigga got any fly
tip on ya.
(dosdemon_) chit
(dosdemon_) well slap muh fro
[THE_HAT] lol
(dosdemon_) dese honky muthafuckas aint nevah seen a 14 inch
diack befoo
(dosdemon_) chit
[THE_HAT] nice little server you got going
þþ parts [THE_HAT (*!rapta@dp-3391.sc.rr.com(THE_HAT))]
(dosdemon_) straight up.
#36491 [ + | - ] 266
<Doctor_Vamp> damnit!!
<Doctor_Vamp> i got an orange dick
<Doctor_Vamp> i shouldn't eat doritos and masturbate
#36490 [ + | - ] 353
<aphr0> Type "incest rape" into the Google search engine, for
example, and the first result is for the Rape, Abuse and
Incest National Network (RAINN), a Washington nonprofit that
aids sexual assault victims. The second result is for
brutalextreme.com, which advertises its content as stories,
pictures and videos of the "most violent rapes in the history
of mankind."
<aphr0> is it wrong to laugh?
<Hawkeye^> no
<aphr0> k
<aphr0> then I'm clear
#36489 [ + | - ] 710
<Edge> Sense we're going to be using all the correct grammer
and everything.
<Jon> Since.
<Edge> Sense
<Jon> And the word is grammar.
<Edge> Since isn't a word
#36488 [ + | - ] 111
<Tweak> did i tell you splits?
<Tweak> i am a camp counslor
<Tweak> for 5th graders
<boysplitter> !!!
<boysplitter> CAN I COME TOO!!??
#36478 [ + | - ] 288
<_mrG> teh fuck are cam girls?
<@santa|> trashy white whores that put their lives on grainy
webcams
<pagnaet> underage porn sites
<mcsuede> jesus you people live in a bubble
<@santa|> no, we just dont visit the trash of the internet
<mcsuede> are you kidding?  you're on irc
#36476 [ + | - ] 497
<trekkie47> u know how my bros comp is the same room as mine
right ?
<jbean> yeah
<trekkie47> well my bro was dling pr0n on his computer
<trekkie47> and he just fuckin left the downloads to go and
went to a friends
<trekkie47> then dad went on his computer
<jbean> and then
<trekkie47> i dunno
<trekkie47> he told me to leave
<jbean> hahahaha
#36471 [ + | - ] 143
<logicalentity>
0111100101101111011101010010000001100001011011000110110000100000011100110110110101100101011011000110110000000000

<SquallStrife> unmoo! you all smell
<SquallStrife> logicalentity: thats low, insulting people through binary
<SquallStrife> i mean its low. literally, its low level :P
#36469 [ + | - ] 344
<liquidhex> ascii a stupid question, get a stupid ansii
#36468 [ + | - ] 1131
<Defcon> dude my new microwave owns
<Defcon> you put the foods in and then the time and then start
<Defcon> then beep beep and yum
<ToastyGhost> No shit, Captain Microwave Handbook
#36467 [ + | - ] 16
<Arkol> I wanna see the webcam!
<Arkol> as long as its not pr0n
#36466 [ + | - ] 332
<sup3rh3r0> kali: give me your user name and password and I'll
test it
<kali> yes, that's what it is!
<kali> supadupakali, surge
<sup3rh3r0> (email address censored)
<tima> heh
<sadielady> haha
<WhtCastle> heh
<p3t3_> hehe
<zombidwee> hahahaha
<zombidwee> mwahahhahah
<tima> smrt
<Valandra> whoops
<kali> uh, that's probably bad to say since surge is like my
password for everything, huh
<WhtCastle> LOL
<Tony> hah
<p3t3_> HAHAH