hQDB :: hacker Quote Database

Network Stats: 21117 Approved Quotes | 3 in Moderation Queue
#36946 [ + | - ] 51
<foop> THE FUCKING US POSTAL SERVICE IS CALLING ME
<foop> ASKING ME TO HELP THEIR FUCKIGN DERELICT OPERATION
<Potrzebie> Tell them I said "Hi"
#36936 [ + | - ] 296
<virika> i need a back massage
* virika wonders if her vibrator is strong enough to give a
decent back rub in place of a REAL back massager
<Chaensaw> haha
<Chaensaw> dora's the only woman on earth to use a DILDO as a
BACK MASSAGER
<virika> i broke my back massager ):
#36929 [ + | - ] 276
<foop> CUZ IN THE GHETTO THEY CANT BE AFFORDING 128
<incognegro> "i'm so ghetto, my mp3s aren't recorded above
64kbps"
#36923 [ + | - ] 73
<SadisticEuphoria> im texan i don't have to be gramticly
correct =D
#36921 [ + | - ] 453
Finque: i always tell a girl when i cum
Finque: one time i didn't
Finque: let's just say she bites
Finque: she had specifically told me she wasn't going to take
it in her mouth
Finque: i was like "yeah right bitch"
Finque: so i cum, she chokes, swallows, smile at me
Finque: and bites
tom: wtf
Finque: so i said sorry and that i'd make it up through
cunnilingus
Finque: i got her good and horney
Finque: and bit her clit like it was a hot dog
#36920 [ + | - ] 367
<isocat> isceald.  have you ever wondered whether there are
other worlds superimposed on your own?
<isceald> i'm not sure what you mean, iso.
<ovalteen> he's asking you if you watch star trek.
#36914 [ + | - ] 212
<@Juste> noooo
<@Juste> shut down pc box was checked
Juste
«yamikun@evrtwa1-ar14-4-42-127-087.evrtwa1.dsl-verizon.net»
has Quit iRC (Read error: Connection reset by peer)
#36911 [ + | - ] 764
<UPC747> Og may I PM you?
<Ogredude> yah
<^^DeAmOn^> Og, may I smack you?
<Pi> Og, may I DoS you?
<Wulfsbane> Og, may I annoy you?
<Schlock> Og, may I eat you?
<Simon_Jester> Og, may I violate your dog?
<Vorn> Og, may I... aw, jeez, I'm not following that.
#36909 [ + | - ] 173
* Drago needs a fake ID :/
<Drago> I'm sick of being turned away from bars and shit.
<Fentom> -{Drago}- if you can look like a 50 year old obese
caribbean woman, I have just the thing for you
#36905 [ + | - ] 498
* peer stares at CCOutlaw[fagitz]
*** Quits: CCOutlaw[fagitz]
(outlawtorn@FFChat-24919.ipt.aol.com) (Connection reset by
peer)
<peer> :D
#36903 [ + | - ] 476
<Fentom> i hate ICQ
<Fentom> every few seconds it's a Telytubby "oh-oh" and some
message saying "Hi, I'm Katie, and just got my webcam up and
I'm a horny virgin. Sometimes I just love to play with my
pussy and did I say that I have a pet horse in my room?"
<Chubbzilla> give me their icq numbers plz
#36902 [ + | - ] 528
<Mandingo> Fucking toilet will NOT stop running!
<Mandingo> Stupid toilet.  I give it SO MUCH, and this is how
it repays me.
#36900 [ + | - ] 264
* Lucca|DigitalMayhem used to use AOL a lot
* Lucca|DigitalMayhem thought it was cool
* Aezia used to shit in his pants. we all grow out of it
someday.
#36895 [ + | - ] 169
<Nev> I heard a shit is like 1/10 an orgasm
<Valvados> So theoretically
<Valvados> If I wank
<Valvados> I won't have to shit for two weeks
#36894 [ + | - ] 196
<Bloodnose> THESE ANIMAL DILDOS ARE RIDICULOUS.  MY CAT NEVER
PLAYS WITH THE TOYS I BOUGHT FOR HIM ALREADY, LIKE HE'D USE
THESE.
#36888 [ + | - ] 103
<Chubbzilla> naw, i've kinda got past the porn faze now
<Ody> ...
<Ody> I never thought I'd see those words in YOUR chat window
O_O
#36887 [ + | - ] 314
<lavhoes> fuck, i hate it when i need something from my mom
and she's having sex.
#36882 [ + | - ] 1044
<Tovart|Away> Pino, i'm wondering
<Tovart|Away> You're from Japan, right?
<pino>  g  ?I
<Tovart|Away> I'll take that as a yes.
#36875 [ + | - ] 249
<Hiro> I go to get a nectarine to eat
<Hiro> I discover all twelve have melted and merged together
into a large fluffy animal
<Hiro> It tried to eat me! <=O
#36872 [ + | - ] 472
<Nall> I watch porn, and what do I hear? Porn stars. I don't
want to hear "OH, GOD, FUCK ME, YES, FUCK ME RIGHT THERE, YES,
RIGHT THERE, GJ".
<Nall> No.
<Nall> I want to hear some pre-pubescent sounding ultra-sonic
screeching. I want it to sound like a 12 year old girl being
attacked by a rhino's horn.
<Nall> Thus, I turn to hentai.
#36871 [ + | - ] 254
<neored13> It's weird. I can masturbate all day with little to
no ill effects, but I swing an axe for a few minutes and my
hands ache.
#36868 [ + | - ] 169
<Khrath> the thing i miss most about dating
<Khrath> was convincing those kids i was a teachers aid and
they they were on a field trip
#36861 [ + | - ] 6
<BTZ> WHO THE FUCK REGISTERED MY NAME ON DALnet?!?!?
#36857 [ + | - ] 45
<Ryudo> java, the slower of the bunch
<Ryudo> aol, the ones tossed down the stairs when they were 3
<Ryudo> and java aol'ers...the bane of society
#36849 [ + | - ] 205
<BTZ|EatingShit> Don't take my name literally.
#36848 [ + | - ] 51
<BTZ> I learned that you shouldn't drink and drive because you
might spill your drink.
#36842 [ + | - ] 309
<MSminion> /msg $*.net a/s/l
<MSminion> Let's see how many death threats I can get.
#36837 [ + | - ] 35
<Pi> I'm being a dick.  It's the only thing I can do well.
#36834 [ + | - ] -17
<ChuffyCow> "welcome to the vancouver snow boarding
championships. thousands of dollars are up for grabs"
<ChuffyCow> WHO CARES, IT'S CANUCK MONEY
#36833 [ + | - ] 137
<Matrix_McCloud> cant you just leave
<MidoriKid> Nope.  I have a four year contract.
<Oolong> you should get dishonorably discharged.
<Oolong> that way, you get to have anal sex, and leave
<Oolong> it's a win-win situation
#36829 [ + | - ] 279
<IgWannA> why do scots wear kilts? ..... because sheep have
gotten used to the sound of a zipper
#36828 [ + | - ] 634
<FunG¦away> and i dont dress quite like the other boys
<Logic_BomB> "what are you wearing?" "a kilt" "no man thats a
skirt.." "its a kilt im telling you..." "uhhh its pink, has
flowers and shoulder straps" "its a prety kilt"
#36827 [ + | - ] -2
<Noztop> eastern european on women accents are better
<Noztop> plus they'd probably fuck you for a can of coke
#36816 [ + | - ] 351
<Anubis> i hate ppl that use my name and dont even know who or
what anubis is
<nyLar> I bet you don't even know.
<Anubis> ya i do
<nyLar> Who is he then?
*** Anubis has quit IRC
#36814 [ + | - ] 322
<sheik> your mom
<striderj> what
<sheik> yeah thats why i sucked your moms dick last night
<striderj> what, hahahahahahah
<sheik> wait no thats not what i meant
<striderj> sure
#36810 [ + | - ] 175
<lice> i swear
<lice> i hate ppl that promise work done without asking me
first
<Killeroy> that's called "managing"
#36805 [ + | - ] 196
<rancid> if i made my drive NTFS and it is going slow, does my
computer just need to get use to it?
#36803 [ + | - ] 196
<cwd> god damn i just farted HARD on my chair and it felt good
<HardCore> did it lift u off?
<cwd> yeah good thing i was wearing my seatbelt
#36802 [ + | - ] 971
<_Superfro> how long does a blister take to heal?
<minime--> super its in your best interest that you stop
masturbating
<Willacuz> you know you masterbate too much , when u see a
towel and u get horny
<minime--> you know you masturbate too much when the air
coming out of the a/c vent gives you a hardon
<Willacuz> i dont get that one?
<minime--> neither do I?
<_Superfro> you know you masturbate too much when you are
afraid to use a dirty sock
<aNuBiS-> you know you masturbate too much when all you guys
wanna talk about is how you know when you masturbate too much
<Willacuz> aNuBiS- u know you masterbate too much when you
masterbate to us talking about when all you guys wanna talk
about is how you know when you masturbate too much
<aNuBiS-> Willacuz: dont make me take that one a step
further...
<aNuBiS-> ...cause that would require thinking, and Im too
busy masturbating
#36799 [ + | - ] 412
<AlephZaku> Eh, is Quake 3 any good
<Kurushimi> yes.
<Kurushimi> i play with myself
<Kurushimi> HEY WTF I NEVER SAID THAT
#36797 [ + | - ] 134
<psyk0mantis> ick . . . gotta reload windows ME on a comp i'm
fixing
<psyk0mantis> i'd rather jump into a bowl of tacks from a
diving board
#36792 [ + | - ] 255
<UmbraSG> Second, you are jealous of my 2" penis?
<Ibuki> wtf
<Ibuki> 2 inches is not a penis
<Ibuki> it's a large clit
#36791 [ + | - ] 19
<aidan> hmm
<aidan> does anyone know how to include html code inside a php
script?
#36787 [ + | - ] 110
<Entrope> !8ball would you please get your dick out of
Rossell's ass?
<ChanServ>  Entrope : No.
<Rossell> awww shit, he's gonna superglue it
<Rossell> Arg! Now we're gonna have to walk around like this
<DrMagus> lol
<Rossell> we're Siamese twins
<Rossell> ChanServ YOU MOTHERFUCKER!
#36785 [ + | - ] -7
*** thebold has quit IRC (Ping timeout for thebold
[public1-sout4-5-cust8.sout.broadband.ntl.com])
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RedPhive.BC.CA.GamesNET.net)
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RedPhive.BC.CA.GamesNET.net)
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<Rossell1> damn, not as good a netsplit as I had hoped, :(
#36784 [ + | - ] 103
<bleepstreet> i have 2 dvd drives showing up in my computer
but i only have 1
<bleepstreet> how do i delete one of them?
<NE|Strand`WAGr> maybe it had babys?
<bleepstreet> then how do i abort teh baby?
<eyesore> coat hanger and draino
#36782 [ + | - ] 466
<James> I had an idea the other day.. Set up a website for all
the people around the world who work in any form of customer
reaching job. Everyone pays a membership fee each month, and
this money goes into a pot. Then when a tech support person
has a customer who really doesn't get it, they can use the
money in the pot to hire a hitman.. It all goes around, so
people will never have to deal with completely retarded
customers again.
#36780 [ + | - ] 196
·Serfer· Let's not fight. Let's hug. For forty minutes. Nude.
·pHluid· 10 more minutes till I start my lunch break. Go ahead
and grease up.
·Serfer· Not enough time.
·pHluid· Must be a lot of you to grease.
#36775 [ + | - ] -2
<ThreeZee> woo
<ThreeZee> overcocked!
<ThreeZee> lol
<ThreeZee> CLOCk
<ThreeZee> my bad
<ThreeZee> hehe
#36774 [ + | - ] 85
*** Rimbaud sets mode: +v HerrZombie
<HerrZombie> yep
<HerrZombie> ty Rim
<HerrZombie> I didn't even have to ask
<HerrZombie> you're on the ball today ;)
<Rimbaud> I'm good like that.  People want me to + them, I
just go right ahead and do it.
<Rimbaud> A sort of + rape, if you will