hQDB :: hacker Quote Database

Network Stats: 21105 Approved Quotes | 0 in Moderation Queue
#36900 [ + | - ] 271
* Lucca|DigitalMayhem used to use AOL a lot
* Lucca|DigitalMayhem thought it was cool
* Aezia used to shit in his pants. we all grow out of it
someday.
#36895 [ + | - ] 177
<Nev> I heard a shit is like 1/10 an orgasm
<Valvados> So theoretically
<Valvados> If I wank
<Valvados> I won't have to shit for two weeks
#36894 [ + | - ] 204
<Bloodnose> THESE ANIMAL DILDOS ARE RIDICULOUS.  MY CAT NEVER
PLAYS WITH THE TOYS I BOUGHT FOR HIM ALREADY, LIKE HE'D USE
THESE.
#36888 [ + | - ] 98
<Chubbzilla> naw, i've kinda got past the porn faze now
<Ody> ...
<Ody> I never thought I'd see those words in YOUR chat window
O_O
#36887 [ + | - ] 327
<lavhoes> fuck, i hate it when i need something from my mom
and she's having sex.
#36882 [ + | - ] 1051
<Tovart|Away> Pino, i'm wondering
<Tovart|Away> You're from Japan, right?
<pino>  g  ?I
<Tovart|Away> I'll take that as a yes.
#36875 [ + | - ] 258
<Hiro> I go to get a nectarine to eat
<Hiro> I discover all twelve have melted and merged together
into a large fluffy animal
<Hiro> It tried to eat me! <=O
#36872 [ + | - ] 480
<Nall> I watch porn, and what do I hear? Porn stars. I don't
want to hear "OH, GOD, FUCK ME, YES, FUCK ME RIGHT THERE, YES,
RIGHT THERE, GJ".
<Nall> No.
<Nall> I want to hear some pre-pubescent sounding ultra-sonic
screeching. I want it to sound like a 12 year old girl being
attacked by a rhino's horn.
<Nall> Thus, I turn to hentai.
#36871 [ + | - ] 265
<neored13> It's weird. I can masturbate all day with little to
no ill effects, but I swing an axe for a few minutes and my
hands ache.
#36868 [ + | - ] 172
<Khrath> the thing i miss most about dating
<Khrath> was convincing those kids i was a teachers aid and
they they were on a field trip
#36861 [ + | - ] -6
<BTZ> WHO THE FUCK REGISTERED MY NAME ON DALnet?!?!?
#36857 [ + | - ] 49
<Ryudo> java, the slower of the bunch
<Ryudo> aol, the ones tossed down the stairs when they were 3
<Ryudo> and java aol'ers...the bane of society
#36849 [ + | - ] 211
<BTZ|EatingShit> Don't take my name literally.
#36848 [ + | - ] 59
<BTZ> I learned that you shouldn't drink and drive because you
might spill your drink.
#36842 [ + | - ] 320
<MSminion> /msg $*.net a/s/l
<MSminion> Let's see how many death threats I can get.
#36837 [ + | - ] 37
<Pi> I'm being a dick.  It's the only thing I can do well.
#36834 [ + | - ] -5
<ChuffyCow> "welcome to the vancouver snow boarding
championships. thousands of dollars are up for grabs"
<ChuffyCow> WHO CARES, IT'S CANUCK MONEY
#36833 [ + | - ] 144
<Matrix_McCloud> cant you just leave
<MidoriKid> Nope.  I have a four year contract.
<Oolong> you should get dishonorably discharged.
<Oolong> that way, you get to have anal sex, and leave
<Oolong> it's a win-win situation
#36829 [ + | - ] 288
<IgWannA> why do scots wear kilts? ..... because sheep have
gotten used to the sound of a zipper
#36828 [ + | - ] 643
<FunG¦away> and i dont dress quite like the other boys
<Logic_BomB> "what are you wearing?" "a kilt" "no man thats a
skirt.." "its a kilt im telling you..." "uhhh its pink, has
flowers and shoulder straps" "its a prety kilt"
#36827 [ + | - ] 13
<Noztop> eastern european on women accents are better
<Noztop> plus they'd probably fuck you for a can of coke
#36816 [ + | - ] 359
<Anubis> i hate ppl that use my name and dont even know who or
what anubis is
<nyLar> I bet you don't even know.
<Anubis> ya i do
<nyLar> Who is he then?
*** Anubis has quit IRC
#36814 [ + | - ] 333
<sheik> your mom
<striderj> what
<sheik> yeah thats why i sucked your moms dick last night
<striderj> what, hahahahahahah
<sheik> wait no thats not what i meant
<striderj> sure
#36810 [ + | - ] 185
<lice> i swear
<lice> i hate ppl that promise work done without asking me
first
<Killeroy> that's called "managing"
#36805 [ + | - ] 201
<rancid> if i made my drive NTFS and it is going slow, does my
computer just need to get use to it?
#36803 [ + | - ] 200
<cwd> god damn i just farted HARD on my chair and it felt good
<HardCore> did it lift u off?
<cwd> yeah good thing i was wearing my seatbelt
#36802 [ + | - ] 976
<_Superfro> how long does a blister take to heal?
<minime--> super its in your best interest that you stop
masturbating
<Willacuz> you know you masterbate too much , when u see a
towel and u get horny
<minime--> you know you masturbate too much when the air
coming out of the a/c vent gives you a hardon
<Willacuz> i dont get that one?
<minime--> neither do I?
<_Superfro> you know you masturbate too much when you are
afraid to use a dirty sock
<aNuBiS-> you know you masturbate too much when all you guys
wanna talk about is how you know when you masturbate too much
<Willacuz> aNuBiS- u know you masterbate too much when you
masterbate to us talking about when all you guys wanna talk
about is how you know when you masturbate too much
<aNuBiS-> Willacuz: dont make me take that one a step
further...
<aNuBiS-> ...cause that would require thinking, and Im too
busy masturbating
#36799 [ + | - ] 424
<AlephZaku> Eh, is Quake 3 any good
<Kurushimi> yes.
<Kurushimi> i play with myself
<Kurushimi> HEY WTF I NEVER SAID THAT
#36797 [ + | - ] 141
<psyk0mantis> ick . . . gotta reload windows ME on a comp i'm
fixing
<psyk0mantis> i'd rather jump into a bowl of tacks from a
diving board
#36792 [ + | - ] 260
<UmbraSG> Second, you are jealous of my 2" penis?
<Ibuki> wtf
<Ibuki> 2 inches is not a penis
<Ibuki> it's a large clit
#36791 [ + | - ] 19
<aidan> hmm
<aidan> does anyone know how to include html code inside a php
script?
#36787 [ + | - ] 119
<Entrope> !8ball would you please get your dick out of
Rossell's ass?
<ChanServ>  Entrope : No.
<Rossell> awww shit, he's gonna superglue it
<Rossell> Arg! Now we're gonna have to walk around like this
<DrMagus> lol
<Rossell> we're Siamese twins
<Rossell> ChanServ YOU MOTHERFUCKER!
#36785 [ + | - ] 15
*** thebold has quit IRC (Ping timeout for thebold
[public1-sout4-5-cust8.sout.broadband.ntl.com])
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<Rossell1> damn, not as good a netsplit as I had hoped, :(
#36784 [ + | - ] 107
<bleepstreet> i have 2 dvd drives showing up in my computer
but i only have 1
<bleepstreet> how do i delete one of them?
<NE|Strand`WAGr> maybe it had babys?
<bleepstreet> then how do i abort teh baby?
<eyesore> coat hanger and draino
#36782 [ + | - ] 478
<James> I had an idea the other day.. Set up a website for all
the people around the world who work in any form of customer
reaching job. Everyone pays a membership fee each month, and
this money goes into a pot. Then when a tech support person
has a customer who really doesn't get it, they can use the
money in the pot to hire a hitman.. It all goes around, so
people will never have to deal with completely retarded
customers again.
#36780 [ + | - ] 207
·Serfer· Let's not fight. Let's hug. For forty minutes. Nude.
·pHluid· 10 more minutes till I start my lunch break. Go ahead
and grease up.
·Serfer· Not enough time.
·pHluid· Must be a lot of you to grease.
#36775 [ + | - ] -6
<ThreeZee> woo
<ThreeZee> overcocked!
<ThreeZee> lol
<ThreeZee> CLOCk
<ThreeZee> my bad
<ThreeZee> hehe
#36774 [ + | - ] 96
*** Rimbaud sets mode: +v HerrZombie
<HerrZombie> yep
<HerrZombie> ty Rim
<HerrZombie> I didn't even have to ask
<HerrZombie> you're on the ball today ;)
<Rimbaud> I'm good like that.  People want me to + them, I
just go right ahead and do it.
<Rimbaud> A sort of + rape, if you will
#36771 [ + | - ] 214
<clay> ryan isnt here
<clay> im declaring marshall law
*** clay sets mode: -o clay
#36769 [ + | - ] 53
<UN-REAL> ihel leyha id use http mirc hahaha
<UN-REAL> like idd iwhe ni worked at the ama
<@EzyRider> we need an interpreter in here for UN-REAL..
<@EzyRider> fucked if i can follow half of what he says
<@[[x]]> LOL
<@Bloody_D_Death> LOL
#36768 [ + | - ] 270
<D> I've been blowing my nose on the leg of my pants for the
past few hours, and now my spoon just fell out of my bowl.
<D> It landed on a towel.
<Jens> ...
<D> I believe this to be God's way of saying "You fucking
dumbass."
<ZMan> D. Never reproduce.
#36760 [ + | - ] 252
<BenZor> ASIO hired my cat to spy on me, it goes in. it goes
out now it sits here watching me, im sure they bugged it and
they call it out every so often to change tapes :/
#36754 [ + | - ] 462
<BenZor> www.clitical.com
<w|zzy> better not be prono
<BenZor> helpful.
<BenZor> nah
<BenZor> sex lesson site
<w|zzy> ok
<w|zzy> don;t need them
<BenZor> yes u do u fucking virgin
<w|zzy> I have 2 sisters man
#36747 [ + | - ] 932
<stupidMM> heh i admitted that freely at the pub once
<stupidMM> this chick came up to me and was like
<stupidMM> "so what do you do for fun?"
<stupidMM> and i was like
<stupidMM> "sit in a dark room and chat on irc at 3 in the
morning"
<stupidMM> she turned around and walked off
<stupidMM> and i was like . heh man i'm leet
#36744 [ + | - ] 156
<Enfilade> Being gay would be kind of cool. Maybe then I
wouldn't feel so guilty when looking at shemale porn
#36743 [ + | - ] 436
<dr_dna> no, i love animals - ive been a vulcan for 12 years
<jdk> don't you mean a vegan?
<dr_dna> what, with these ears?
#36737 [ + | - ] 187
<Althorrat> Sean and Dan provided communion wafers as
refreshments. They got them surplus off eBay.
<Althorrat> mmm... surplus Christ.
<Asshead9000> heh. were they the good ones or the papery ones?
<Althorrat> to be honest, I didn't try them.
<Asshead9000> who won the debate?
<Althorrat> (considers saying, "Jesus always leaves a bad
taste in my mouth", but doesn't)
#36736 [ + | - ] 114
<kitteh> new vanilla cock
<kitteh> cock!@?!@
<`e|mmaS> BAHAHHA
<kitteh> COKE
#36734 [ + | - ] 524
<smileygirl> you say
<^haploid^> Wow, a subject *and* a verb. You are getting very
close to composing complete sentences. I applaud you.
#36732 [ + | - ] 242
<Blixt> a buddhists last life before nirvana is spent as a
lesbian pornstar most of the time