hQDB :: hacker Quote Database

Network Stats: 21105 Approved Quotes | 0 in Moderation Queue
#41722 [ + | - ] 298
* }Phoenix{ has joined #haxxors
<}Phoenix{> Hey, everybody type in /beep 31337 if you wanna be
super-leet
<@Tyreal> Dont do it
<jackle> /beep 31337
<redwing> /beep 31337
<GangstaUO> /beep 31337
<jackle> gah!!!
#41713 [ + | - ] 153
<Mr_Rabies> Spyware is Jewish
<'Wraith> I take offense to that
<Mr_Rabies> well spyware doesnt eat beef
<SKnight> technically, spyware doesnt believe in Jesus either
:
#41707 [ + | - ] 594
Flaritter: "hit it" is an american term
DrSpaZZo: Yes
Flaritter: for examples: "I'd like to hit that"
DrSpaZZo: Brits must have their own thing
Flaritter: AND SO FORTH
DrSpaZZo: Like
Flaritter: ?
DrSpaZZo: 'I'd dip my crumpet in her tea'
#41703 [ + | - ] 296
<AnimeFreak> omg i just bought more ram today
<egg> how many sheep do you have now?
#41701 [ + | - ] 151
<Hellspawn> Does anyone know a place where i can download
Raymond E. Feists books because a) i have other things to
spend cash on. b) Have run out of said cash and c) Kazaa
doesnt have any
<Kura> eww, you would actually read that much off a screen?!
o_O
<Hellspawn> there's a great new invention - schools printers
#41699 [ + | - ] 520
<Tofusensei> linksys routers can suck a cock, btw
<Justin> wow, they really should advertize that feature more.
It would increase sales.
#41678 [ + | - ] -11
<@dev> I just shit out a "family" of logs.
<@dev> There were two huge ones.. 2 smaller ones. and a tiny
one.
<@dev> And then I killed them when I flushed!
<@r3v|ShenL0ng-P-> lol
<@r3v|ShenL0ng-P-> was the tiny one the dog
<@dev> It might have been a baby.
<@r3v|DeathZero> did you poke it.. maybe it was a fetus
<@dev> I left it alone.
<@dev> :o
#41668 [ + | - ] 77
<Veers> I guess they don't teach bathroom manners in Africa
<Donitz> Veers, newsflash, they don't have bathrooms in
Africa.
#41658 [ + | - ] 215
<daed> believe it or not, the robot on the cover of the queen
album is real and he hates you.
#41657 [ + | - ] 67
<Meowfaceman> I Gave NAMBLA Pictures of Your Kid.
#41652 [ + | - ] 351
<skwerrel> sigh...sometimes i really wish i could just ignore
my brain and become a christian
#41649 [ + | - ] 541
<tate> Male Mantises are killed right after procreating. They
die having lived a full and happy life.
<Samus> ok, I'd be a gay mantis
<Samus> no death for me
<Samus> i'd be living it up in Miami Beach
<Samus> going to the gay mantis discos and shit
#41636 [ + | - ] 901
<Amergin|afk> I am dyslexic of Borg. You will be ass laminated
#41633 [ + | - ] 18
<skwerrel> my savior jesus christ, please accept my lubricated
anus as compensation for my past sins
#41628 [ + | - ] 220
* hipnotoad tastes victory
<Goonigoogoo> that was tony jerking off into the punch bowl
#41622 [ + | - ] 105
<tate> I just love the taste of heroin. You know?
<tate> I could eat it by the spoonfull.
<ecs> it doesnt go in your mouth
<ecs> it goes up your anus and makes it bleed
<ecs> so you can yell my anus is bleeding
<tate> I think ecs has heroin confused for penis
<ecs> isnt heroin the long slender shaft like object that you
shove in your asshole?
#41615 [ + | - ] 101
<Tony> Aqua Teen Bukakke Force!@
<ecs> i love that show.
#41614 [ + | - ] 68
<MrMortisland> I know emo
<MrMortisland> Emo is little boys crying on stage because
their daddy touched their pee pee
#41607 [ + | - ] 242
<Samus> With some minor manipulation, I can make my
uncircumcised penis look like Birdo from Super Mario 2
#41606 [ + | - ] 522
<Legalize-> [MP3] Pink Floyd - Who Let the Dogs Out
#41599 [ + | - ] 661
<Tony> I challenge you to a duel.
<Tony> Penises, at dawn.
<Beerman> but battling against an unarmed opponent is so
unfair
#41592 [ + | - ] 254
<daniel_> i dont wanna use my brain to think
<Pntklr> i prefer to use my penis
<evilmorty> the last time i tried that i got a kid
#41567 [ + | - ] 156
<KonamiKid> kris, i'm gonna email you pictures of my wang
<zat> hah
<KonamiKid> it will have little eyes and a moustache drawn on
it
<KonamiKid> but no stick on eyes/mustache...
<Kris> gee, thanks KK
<KonamiKid> i made that mistake once before...
<KonamiKid> i had to soak my cock in a glass of alcohol to get
the sticker to come off
#41561 [ + | - ] -23
<Albot> It's not rape when you have a gun.
#41557 [ + | - ] 85
<tr0n> Gulp 'N Blow
<SteamedHams> i usually blow before i gulp
#41555 [ + | - ] 3
--- Received a CTCP NIGGERNIGGERNIGGER from amoeba (to #
somethingawful)
<Hee-La> score
<SteamedHams> i was about to nigger
<Hee-La> never hesitate when niggering
<SteamedHams> but it might blackfire
#41552 [ + | - ] 128
<[B-0]Jeff> too many ops, not enough of them are me.
#41545 [ + | - ] 233
* Orroni slaps DarkPrince_working around a bit with a large
trout
* Trefenwyd slaps Orroni around a bit with a large trout
<Liason> trout is soooooooooo 1995
<Orroni> i agree, it's too retro
<Orroni> maybe a leather trout with tassles
* Trefenwyd slaps Orroni around a bit with a large lubrified
fanged dildo
<Orroni> now that's disturbing...
#41544 [ + | - ] 184
<jenwolf> i remember when it was a big deal when we got our
first color TV
<jenwolf> my dad was like, now you can see that the pink
panther is pink!!
#41536 [ + | - ] 147
<toe2toe> what would happen is you were MEANT to type
"prosecution is pressing for maximum sentencing on the count
of vehicular manslaughter"....but ACTUALLY typed "the judge
licks penis"
<Jade_Vixen> If i was a legal secretay, this might all be a
problem...
<toe2toe> thats a pretty big if
<toe2toe> perhaps you and your IF would like to come back to
my place one day
<toe2toe> and i can show you my big "perhaps"
<Jade_Vixen> I can't spell for crap tonight... :P
* Jade_Vixen rolls her eyes
<Spizzer> ROFL toe2toe ur such a clown
<toe2toe> im crying on the inside.
#41532 [ + | - ] 106
* BassBone finishes all his evening rituals and prepares to
pack it in
<Selene> Okay. That was bad timing. I'm reading porn and
Bassbone is talking about packing it in.
#41531 [ + | - ] 152
<pb8> Ahhhh, 13% complete and only 16.5 hours to go
<Glitch> lol, of what?
<tharok> u timing your wanking again pb?
#41520 [ + | - ] 193
< DGonzo> hmm
< DGonzo> my gf left her shampoo and shit here
< DGonzo> next thing you know she's gonna want to plug into my
hub
<@[Hobbes]> DGonzo: ... For christ's sake just change your
name to DWhipped
<@golem> tell her she can plug into your hub if you can plug
into hers anytime you like
#41519 [ + | - ] 433
<MMB> !8ball AM I THE HOTTEST GUY IN HERE
<ChanServ> MMB: No.
<MMB> !8ball do you know who is?
<ChanServ> MMB: Sure. Yeah. Exactly.
<Yardbomb> !8 It's me isn't it?
<ChanServ> Yardbomb: Sure. Yeah. Exactly.
<Ant-> !8 you said that out of pity didn't you?
<ChanServ> Ant-: Yes.
#41518 [ + | - ] 355
<prozac420> 9
<prozac420> oops
<prozac420> was trying to change tv channels
<Kimaroo> lol...............
<Kimaroo> if you try to change tv channels on IRC... you might
be a junkie
#41511 [ + | - ] 410
<notmewse> so there i was, balls deep in this hookers ass
<notmewse> oh shit wrong window
#41475 [ + | - ] 1661
(jonathans) i want a cow bell that makes a cow noise
(jonathans) when i hit it
(jonathans) it will go "COW"
(orion) cows go moo
#41470 [ + | - ] 157
<orion> Darwin 6.0.2 x86-compatible
<orion> someone explain please
<timmo> wtf is Darwin 6.0.2?
<Duker900> natural selection in your operating system!
<timmo> ya man i dont know about having something called
darwin run my computer
<timmo> youd be writing an email to your bitch
<timmo> and it would be like
<timmo> YOU WEAK EMO BITCH
<timmo> and delete your shit
#41448 [ + | - ] 1324
<@Goshin> thereslike
<@Goshin> halfacookieunderneathmyspacebar
#41417 [ + | - ] 280
<Dr_Greenthumb-> tomarrow I got the house to myself for 4 days
<Dr_Greenthumb-> ahhh, the orgies...
<@EnD-Raistlin> left and right hand at the same time ? :o
#41407 [ + | - ] 92
<rocksicle> You know you use computers too much when your
doing something in real life, make a mistake, and try to press
ctrl-z.
#41387 [ + | - ] 227
<SpaZZtic|webpage> the bitch from next door was standing at
her window watching me hang out my washing
<SkewtuR> hah get some tampons hold them in water..hang them
on the line when she loox yell Yeah we recycle
#41338 [ + | - ] 569
<Heather21> hi
<negativepositive> who are you?
<Heather21> just a wife home alone
<Heather21> hubby is out
<negativepositive> good - start cleaning the house before he
comes home and hits you some more
#41335 [ + | - ] 1489
<surfer_girl> hi
<negativepositive> your nick has "scary 40 year old naked guy"
written all over it
<surfer_girl> asl plz
<negativepositive> that just drives it home
#41333 [ + | - ] 96
(Pete767ca) @find futurama
(Pete767ca) !help
(Pete767ca) !helpserve
(Pete767ca) anybody know were I can get episodes online?
(iamhurtin) yeah type /quit accept futurama ep 01
quit: (Pete767ca) (Pete767ca@rn-rercrcXXX.uwaterloo.ca)
(accept futurama ep 01)
#41331 [ + | - ] 501
<dunn> why am i sometimes online, and sometimes not online
<uno> are you getting philosophical on us dunn?
#41326 [ + | - ] 263
<test4> ive been tied up before with ethernet cable to my
bedpost
#41325 [ + | - ] 241
<Trauma> craig: cracked rib and torn cartiledge and 1800mg of
ibprofen in the last 5 hours
<utahsaint> damn dood what happened?
<utahsaint> i told you not to jack off on the roof
#41320 [ + | - ] 435
<@DrFurious> -prince- [Global Notice] Tonight we mourn the
loss of a ZiRC user. One not everybody knew, but those who did
know him loved and thought of him as a nice person. robert^,
took his own life, of why, I do not know other than the pain
and suffering he had dealt with in his life. R.I.P Robert,
1985 - 2002 (WE WILL ALL MISS YOU!)
<MrSauce> HIS NAME IS ROBERT ARROW-POINTING-UP
<MrSauce> HIS NAME IS ROBERT ARROW-POINTING-UP
<alfred> HIS NAME IS ROBERT ARROW-POINTING-UP
<@DrFurious> i need to kill myself so i can be featured in a
global notice
<@DrFurious> i'll be famous
<leedo> omg lets do a group suicide
<leedo> they better give us each our own notice though
<@rincewind1013> i'm in if your in
<@DrFurious> maybe we can stagger them to make sure
<MrSauce> my mom sure will be proud
#41309 [ + | - ] 8
<Trauma> if shes hot and 12
<Trauma> ill still fuck her
<Trauma> i never had a girlfriend in real life before
<Trauma> im desperate, and proud of the fact that im going to
jiz the second a girl holds my hand
<Trauma> i wear rubber underwear if i go around girls
<Trauma> they wont know i did it
<Trauma> maybe thats why im a virgin still too