hQDB :: hacker Quote Database

Network Stats: 21105 Approved Quotes | 0 in Moderation Queue
#42384 [ + | - ] 47
<Supachikn> i've been getting off on my moving-to-japan thing
lately
<Supachikn> so asianthumbs.org is in my cache for the last few
days
<Supachikn> :(
<Demigoat> move to tokyo and become a porn star
<Demigoat> "Chen Hung Long"
#42383 [ + | - ] 393
<Nailbomb> ugggh, I swear I'm gonna be seeing pixels for the
next week, can't wait to hit the beach tomorrow
<Demigoat> yeah
<Demigoat> so you can look at the sand
<Demigoat> and go
<Demigoat> "hmm, those look like pixels"
#42382 [ + | - ] 648
<Supachikn> Demigoat, you and i are onthe same wavelength
<Supachikn> or at least frequency
<Demigoat> if you and I were ethernet cards attached to a hub
our frames would never collide!
<Supachikn> if you and i were polarised light waves we'd be
fuckin lazer beams!
<Demigoat> Turtles, The - So Happy Together.mp3
<Demigoat> I <3 supa
<Supachikn> i less than three you too, demi
#42381 [ + | - ] 84
<decoder> can somebody turn of this heavy lag?
#42376 [ + | - ] -2
<Daedalus> But you cannot, however, suck human excrement out
of spaghetti, no matter how hard you try.
#42372 [ + | - ] 421
<PropWash> I really was hoping I could be 'special enough' for
an exception..but alas..im full of myself ;>
<Weirdo_God_of_Insanity> I'm full of many things.
<Karnophage> Like a Pinata
<Weirdo_God_of_Insanity> Very close, actually.
<Weirdo_God_of_Insanity> Except I'm not surrounded by little
kids with bludgeons, hoping to consume my innards.
<PropWash> quick, gimmie a stick
<Weirdo_God_of_Insanity> GET AWAY FROM MY ENTRAILS!!!
#42363 [ + | - ] 564
<Sorrow> DOWN WITH PANTS! UP WITH SKIRTS!
#42359 [ + | - ] 120
<Weirdo_God_of_Insanity> I like my terror-inducing weapons of
mass destruction to have practical combat uses as well.
#42357 [ + | - ] 770
<Daedalus> Film noir cereal..."Without thinking, I crammed
that deadly sliver of metal carrying the city's most infamous
breakfast food into my maw. The tiny flakes snapped and
popped, like the fingers of a mob snitch after they found 'im.
It wasn't good cereal. But it was better than a gut fulla
led."
#42349 [ + | - ] 44
<HentaiZonga> MY LIFE IS A CROTCH!!!
#42348 [ + | - ] 86
<piro> well, irc is the realm of dictatorships, not democracy
#42347 [ + | - ] 155
<sayza> Bug: Popup menus appear in strange places
<sayza> Resolution: Turn off "smart window placement"
#42331 [ + | - ] 583
<Dezzy> actually i was looking for girlie porn for my
boyfriend
<Beerman> you're a girlie
<Beerman> you can MAKE girlie porn!
<Dezzy> hm.... true...
#42327 [ + | - ] 49
<[Lemmy]> hey btw where r u?
<Massive_Potato> virginia
<[Lemmy]> aww... after all that bash.org stuff I first read
that as 'vagina'
#42325 [ + | - ] 76
< avoozl> what port did i need again for dns
< avoozl> its not 'domain' is it?
< rigel> 53
< rigel> both udp and tcp
< avoozl> hm i have those
< avoozl> thats odd
< rigel> clippy says: "I see you need some network help! Would
you like me to: * search the help files for 'dns setup', *
open internet  explorer to msdn.microsoft.com"
#42321 [ + | - ] 733
<inv694102> HELP I GOT A VIRUS
<LZ> what does it do?
<inv694102> I WAS TYPING IN MSDOS EDIT AND IT EATES WHAT I
TYPED BEFORE
<LZ> hmmm
<LZ> maybe you got insert key pressed?
<inv694102> O.....
<inv694102> WAS THAT. THANKS
<LZ> lol...
#42294 [ + | - ] 388
Chris: im looking at the stileporn popup
Chris: and this girl looks like my sister =/
Propain: Hrmmm
Propain: Bet yer beating off to it right now
Chris: yeah =/
Chris: well, its not REALLY her
Propain: lol
#42291 [ + | - ] 121
<hitman> I need a girl that doesn't drink
<RageFury> hitman: Then how the hell are you gonna slip her
that rufie?  On her juicy juice box?
#42288 [ + | - ] 151
<wishkah> what is is with white fucken vehicles and crimes
<Ram|work> dunno
<wishkah> oj
<wishkah> sniper
<wishkah> bangbus
<Ram|work> AHAHAHAH
#42283 [ + | - ] 309
<draxx> my friend has an mirc script that will delete any
channel
<draxx> or server
<draxx> ive been trying to get it
<draxx> from him
<XenoWolf> lol
<XenoWolf> you cant delete channels..
<draxx> oh yah
<draxx> you dont understand
<draxx> this kids a hardcore
#42266 [ + | - ] 249
<Hardlined> badtz just the man I wanted to see
<Badtz> I didn't do it
#42262 [ + | - ] 1453
<parnbl00d> I've been questioning my sexuality for a while,
but my family's all conservative and stuff, so I don't wanna
come out with it to them
<naga> parn: go to goatse.cx
* parnbl00d goes
<parnbl00d> thanks, that'll keep me straight for the next 20
years
<naga> no problem
#42256 [ + | - ] 416
<[Frank]> -=- Frank's Radio -=- 166.90.143.148:17714 -=- Now
Playing: Terra Branford Theme - Piano STYLE! :D -=- Always
Taking Requests!
<`Frieza> i request you go get hit by a car
#42247 [ + | - ] 428
* ArSa is not a scsi expert :\
* slurpee was a scsi expert until they came out with 134533109
flavors of it
slurpee: like ULTRA 2 WIDE MEGA XL ALPHA STREET FIGHTER SCSI
#42241 [ + | - ] 239
<Darf> hendrix = god
<WwW> name somthing good hendrix has done the past.. ehmm.. 5
years
#42221 [ + | - ] 1326
<@jestuh> i was like "i'm never going to get used to getting
SHOT AT"
* Quits: jestuh (Connection reset by peer)
* Joins: jestuh
<@jestuh> what was last line you got before disconnect?
<@_ace> <jestuh> anal sex used to hurt at first, but i learned
how to relax my muscles
#42211 [ + | - ] 151
<Kevyn> Frogs always get sucked up into our pool filter, and
if you go out to the shed you can see them flying around
inside the filter. The suction usually turns them inside out.
It's pretty gross.
#42204 [ + | - ] 169
<@sequence> linux has its place
<@sequence> if nothing else, it keeps the morons out of *BSD
[S+Z] CTCP VERSION reply from sequence: ircII EPIC4-0.9.2-ssl
Linux 2.2.16-3 - Accept no limitations.
#42196 [ + | - ] 1087
<DVS01> i read about some unix server dying every night
<DVS01> so the techs stayed overnite drinking coffee to see
why it dies every nite
<DVS01> then they see the maid come in, unplug the server,
plug in the vacuum, vacuum the floor, replug the server and
leave.
#42159 [ + | - ] 507
<patches> I like pussy better than drugs
<patches> I've never heard of an OD off pussy
<octane--> its called A CHILD
#42150 [ + | - ] 638
<Brentai> "Quake traps children in Italy school, 3 die"
Something needs to be done about those violent video games!
#42127 [ + | - ] 557
<InvisableGuy> you cant get drunk at my place no more
<dope^fish> aw why not?
<InvisableGuy> remember last time? you broke my fucking couch
<dope^fish> hehe shame :) i owned ur couch :0
<InvisableGuy> wel, i owned it, but u broke it.
#42122 [ + | - ] 473
<cian> I'm gonna call you and hit on your wife
<Nictathan> dude
<Nictathan> I'm divorced
<Nictathan> go for it
#42121 [ + | - ] 23
<SteamedHams> what's that euphemism for getting really good
head?
<SteamedHams> chumming the bung?
#42120 [ + | - ] -106
<@cbf> i was going to bash.org
<@cbf> theres none pending
<BenZor> omg omg omg
<BenZor> submit somethign
#42119 [ + | - ] 206
<weechee> <--- is now 7.5 months preggers member?
<ThndrWolf> awwwww suck. How'd that happen?
#42118 [ + | - ] 435
<ThaiLand> what time is it ?
<@nimper> tool time
<ThaiLand> thx
#42117 [ + | - ] 594
<cuebol> very disturbing when she screams LOL LOL LOL in bed
:~(
#42116 [ + | - ] 1263
[orion] my knife just beeped like a cellphone when i touched
it
[orion] time to lay off the booze
[orion] it was three electronical tones
[orion] it went
[orion] bo BO BOOP
[cmplx] don't answer it.
#42110 [ + | - ] 338
<@MudBlud> man i love signing upto vBulletin forums, when its
ur bday they email u and it makes you feel like you have
friends
#42109 [ + | - ] 109
<sumluzr> anime is part of a japanese conspiracy to lower the
collective intelligence of america!
<sumluzr> um... never mind, it can;'t get anuy lower ;)
#42105 [ + | - ] 232
<Orion> Among the impressive range of Durex products you'll
find are three new exciting condoms - Sensation, Close Fit and
Classic.
<Orion> oh goody, three NEW EXCITING condoms
<goldberg> put them all on at once
<goldberg> you get a classic close fit sensation
#42100 [ + | - ] 133
<namesis> HELLO GUYS SPEAK ME ASS HOLES PLEASE AND FAST OR I
LEAVE
#42095 [ + | - ] 84
<Draco889> Chickengod got caught masturbating in school
<Cunnilingus> in his class ?
<Draco889> not sure
<Cunnilingus> bah
<Zim[School]> :)
<Draco889> its not easy i can tell you that
<Draco889> wait
<Draco889> nm
<Cunnilingus> maybe he just masturbated in the toilets
<Draco889> i wonder how he fit bolth feet in
#42094 [ + | - ] 326
<cursedgenie> damn it i have pins and needles in my foot
<Draco889> wtf did you put them in there for?
#42089 [ + | - ] 20
<heheheoppsomglolz133t> ok if you're going to hunt fellow dorm
members to feed on, would you get a girl, fuck her then eat
her?  My friend wouldn't b/c he'd feel like she'd be tainted
<lrrl> Gotta add the cream  filling
<lrrl> everyone knows that
<XX01XX> I don't think I'd be comfortable with having sex with
something I planned on eating
<lrrl> XX01XX trust me it tastes better that way
<XX01XX> it's a perversion of the predator-prey relationship
<XX01XX> either be a sexual predator or a regular one.
<XX01XX> or at least wait 45 minutes between roles
<lrrl> how about 31 and you kill them first?
<XX01XX> oh... well, if they're already dead, that's
different... then you're just tenderizing the meat
<lrrl> now you tell me....solves all my problems then
<heheheoppsomglolz133t> he won't even do it with a condom,
says the smell would taint it
<XX01XX> (nonoxynol-9 on your steak)--
<XX01XX> if it's dead you don't even have to use the vagina...
there are probably other newly created holes to be used
#42066 [ + | - ] 337
<Artanis> ok, nobody ever told me when its better to use
static memory
<Artanis> thats why i do everything w/ pointers
<Artanis> :-/
<Goomba> everything???
<Veldhar[GD]> everything??!
<Veldhar[GD]> heh, don't tell me
<Veldhar[GD]> you do horrible things like
<Veldhar[GD]> int *i = new int[1];
<Veldhar[GD]> for (*i=0; ahhhhhhhhhhhhh can't continue writing
<Veldhar[GD]> too awful
<Veldhar[GD]> my fingers are burning
<Veldhar[GD]> my eyes are bleeding
<Veldhar[GD]> agoonnnnnnnny
* Veldhar[GD] dies
#42064 [ + | - ] 511
<MechaDragonX> it's a time of akwardness for everyone
<MechaDragonX> not yet and adult but not a child
<MechaDragonX> you all got things to work out within
yourselves and it is confusing as hell
<MechaDragonX> everyone has to do it
<MechaDragonX> besides
<MechaDragonX> any kind of relationship has complications
<MechaDragonX> humans are idiosyncratic by nature
* MechaDragonX rereads what he justwrote and realizes it
sounds like a Britney Spears song
* MechaDragonX shoots himself
* MechaDragonX relaizes he doens't have a gun and just tried
to kill himself with a ham sandwhich
#42062 [ + | - ] 221
<Rangsk> I still remember trying to read from a floppy in
dos... with no floppy in
<Rangsk> I was always too scared to press "fail" cause I
thought it would ruin my floppy drive
<Artanis> lol
<Rangsk> so I had to scramble for a floppy
<Veldhar[GD]> lol
<Rangsk> then type a
<Veldhar[GD]> reminds me of one of my friends, a LONG time
ago, when he knew nothing at comps or so, rebooted his comp
each time he wanted to go back at C:> because he didn't knew
"cd .."
#42060 [ + | - ] 753
<ThelegendarySCM> me and my buds lit a car on fire once- kinda
by accident
<ThelegendarySCM> but it was fun to watch the gas tank blow
up.
<Artanis> lol
<Artanis> :-)  where did this happen?
<ThelegendarySCM> we were out playing pranks on one of our
friends when we saw our principles's car- he was a TOTAL ass,
and we all hated him. Was a drop top, and the dude left the
top open. We climbed n and started fucking with the car, when
somehow the cifggarette lighter wnt itm goit red hot, fell out
and lit the floormats ablaze
<ThelegendarySCM> Never ran so fast from anything in my life.
After we got about 2 miles away we turned just in time to see
the gas tank go.
<Artanis> hahahhahaaha
<Artanis> and uhh, you never got caught?
<ThelegendarySCM> nope. No one saw us(for some wierd reason)
<Artanis> lol
<ThelegendarySCM> Man, that dude was HEATED the day after at
school. He dragged us all into the auditorium and we spent 6
hours there. I mean the whole school, in a crowded auditorium,
and he wouldnt lets us leave until someone confessed. No one
did, and when school did end the superintendent was waiting
for the principal. He was promptly fired for keepoing us in
that room for 6 hours.
<ThelegendarySCM> Talk about insult after injury.