hQDB :: hacker Quote Database

Network Stats: 21105 Approved Quotes | 0 in Moderation Queue
#44640 [ + | - ] 6
<cappicard> whew... got that splinter out.
<VicViper> cappicard: wooden keyboard?
<Apollo-> VicViper: No, I think he was playing with his wooden
dildo
<VicViper> hehe
<Apollo-> good thing he was stroking it with his hand and not
ramming it in his ass
<Apollo-> it'd been a little tougher getting a splinter out of
his ass
#44638 [ + | - ] 308
cranky> I upgraded to the internet 8.0 as soon as AOL released
it
#44636 [ + | - ] 120
<aum> real hackers don't use Mozilla, they don't even use
links or lynx
<aum> *real* hackers surf the web with 'telnet somehost.com
80'
#44635 [ + | - ] 249
<TFA|MikeRotch> it's that Yamaha CRW-D1
<TFA|MikeRotch> F1 I ean
<TFA|MikeRotch> mwena
<TFA|MikeRotch> god damn
<TFA|MikeRotch> my fingers are getting to dat
<TFA|MikeRotch> fat
<TFA|MikeRotch> I need to go on a diet just so I can type
properly on IRC
<TFA|FulDog> haha
<v3ktor> rofl
#44624 [ + | - ] 151
<|sM|Giga-Dogbert> it doesnt work
<+Yeti> .. What doesnt work
<GBL|InfamousGadget> <img src="http://site">  or [img]http://
site[/img]
<GBL|InfamousGadget> did you post it somewhere?
<|sM|Giga-Dogbert> C:\My Documents\My Received Files\
dogbert1.jpg
#44620 [ + | - ] 225
--> heha (cyber@????????.ipt.aol.com) has joined #linux
--- YeahBabY sets ban on *!*@*.aol.???
<-- Crikey has kicked heha from #linux (banned: Too many
problems with AOL.  Use another ISP.  Permban)
<thinko> nice ban, covers those pesky aol.mil ppl too
#44612 [ + | - ] 875
One fine day in #support on GamesNET...
<@Phobius> [d20]Gau: Name of channel please.
<+[d20]Gau> Clan:  Covert Underground Neutralization Team  #
CUNT
<@Phobius> [d20]Gau: Sorry but thats an unacceptable channel
name.
<+[d20]Gau> ?  Is it too short?
<@Phobius> [d20]Gau: No its the word "cunt"
<+[d20]Gau> "cunt"? Ohhhh goodness That's another word for a
woman's vagina, isn't it
<+[d20]Gau> How about The War Against Terrorism? #twat
<@Phobius> !#twat reg [d20]Gau
#44606 [ + | - ] 339
<ryche> my sister hangs around with these slut friends who
blow guys at school and they won't even give me a minute of
their day :
<ryche> maybe i'm not offering enough....doesn't $0.05 sound
fair or not for a bj?
<FunG> yep
<FunG> a nickel per inch sounds reasonable
#44594 [ + | - ] 380
dragon9995: oh man
dragon9995: you know last night when I told you that I was
going to rape your mom or something like that?  apparently I
left it on the screen and my mom saw it and didn't think it
was a joke
dragon9995: she just came in here and freaked out out at me
dragon9995: holy shit
dragon9995: she like started crying and she thinks I'm a
rapist
#44588 [ + | - ] 117
<jonathans> the national anthem of retardia
<physikal> yeah... oh say can you learn how to read...
<issuez> retardia
<jonathans> sorry
<jonathans> mentally-challengiaria
<issuez> thank you.
#44587 [ + | - ] 533
<wildkarrdex> I ALWAYS THOUGHT A GREAT WAY TO KILL YOURSELF
<wildkarrdex> WOULD BE TO RUN INTO A CROWDED ROOM
<wildkarrdex> SCREAM "I'M HIV POSITIVE"
<wildkarrdex> THEN SHOOT YOURSELF IN THE HEAD WITH A SHOTGUN
#44584 [ + | - ] 879
<+Fastolfe> or do a googel[1] search for "perl windows"
<+Fastolfe> [1] oops, typo, meant google
<+wog> Ooo. I should get in the habit of footnoting my typos
like that.
<+Azhrarn> hah
#44574 [ + | - ] 291
Kitsa> we had a kid bake ex-lax pot brownies and give them to
a teacher
<Kitsa> he had the shits but he was pretty happy about it
#44566 [ + | - ] 361
<Paddy> well hello there
<Nyte> DIE INSOLENT WENCH
<Paddy> ok
* Paddy dies
* Paddy 's corpse begins to rot
* Nyte-ddr begins humping it.
<Paddy> umm
<Paddy> thats just wrong
<Nyte-ddr> but it feels so right
*** Signoff: Paddy (Quit: )
#44562 [ + | - ] 270
<tak> you are like a huggies diaper.. always on someones ass,
and constantly full of shit
#44550 [ + | - ] 55
<squall999991> whats a psx
<squall999991> what the psx look like
<squall999991> hey so is the psx beter than the playstation
#44545 [ + | - ] 530
<BobTheGoat> Sorry I can't talk cause I gotta be up by $rand
(5-8):00 tomorrow
<BobTheGoat> damn
#44543 [ + | - ] 39
<spd_dmn> theres a fucking .doc
<spd_dmn> read it?
<WillaCuz> reading is for faggots
<pagan> spoken like a true black man WillaCuz
#44539 [ + | - ] 88
[uid48:#humblefxp SEX]
[uid48:#humblefxp SEX]
<dj|black> [N] uid48 has requested a channel SEX on #humbleFXP
at 3:11pm.
<dj|black> :)
<Zoogle> chanel sex, eh?
<Zoogle> with 40 males and 15 bots
<Zoogle> [sarcasm] as tempting as that may sound [/sarcasm]
I'll pass on that opportunity
#44537 [ + | - ] 170
<xcabbage> C++ takes forever to compile
<richardt> xcabbage: you are referring to C++'s built-in
coffee-refill time
<richardt> it's a feature.
<richardt> with C, there's no time.
#44536 [ + | - ] 312
<Daishi> ...
<Daishi> there should really be a "-" like there is a "+" on
irc
<Daishi> too let people know they suck
#44534 [ + | - ] 650
<arpee> um
<arpee> i have a charge on my account from 11/12/02
<arpee> oh
<arpee> i guess that's the next business day
<arpee> nevermind
<arpee> i was afraid people from the future were stealing my
money
#44425 [ + | - ] 350
<jane1980> hey juan...I have a question?
<guanosan> ok?...shoot.
<jane1980> err...I was thinking...what's the fastest speed a
person can have sex without stopping?
<guanosan> hahah... probably 68, because when you reach 69,
you stop and turn around >8D
<jane1980> asshole  LMFAO
#44414 [ + | - ] 339
* Ainslee is back -( cemetery )- gone 1 hr 3 min 29 s
<Kajun> Pickup or delivery?
#44411 [ + | - ] -11
<daralc> going to bed, night
* daralc is now known as daralc|zZZ
<daralc|zZZ> hmm
<daralc|zZZ> i think something is fucked
<daralc|zZZ> winamp has to buffer shit ..for atleast 5 seconds
..that is on the harddrive
<iHarrison> Hah!
<Aaron> thats a good indication i think.
<iHarrison> So much for sleeping, daralc!
#44373 [ + | - ] 138
<Guff> .l
<Guff> lol
<HipPriest> LOL@guff having a /l command
#44340 [ + | - ] 217
<manos> dude i found a website with some cool java aplets
<placid> xmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
<placid> url?
<manos> C:\program files\anfy\applets.htm
<placid> get a life
<manos> ?
#44332 [ + | - ] 201
<Zeeker> God, I wish I can make this text larger
<Feren> I can smell new spam thanks to Zeek.  "Increase your
font size three inches with this miracle pill!"
#44305 [ + | - ] 492
* Joins: Niro77
<Niro77> hi
<Niro77> anyone here?
<Niro77> ...
* Niro77 yawns
<Niro77> hellloooooo
<Niro77> Am I talking to myself?
<Niro77> you know.. the C in IRC means "chat"
<@quake> and the IR means "shut the fuck up, we're idling in
this ".
#44304 [ + | - ] 314
Wan Xion: last night I created an array search that is O(log
base 4 n) I wonder if it's been done before
KarpenkoSoup: Probably.
Wan Xion: yeah
Wan Xion: it's s simple concept
Wan Xion: you just use 3 pivots
KarpenkoSoup: There are people who fuck chickens. I'm pretty
sure someone's written a search with O(log base 4 n) runtime.
#44297 [ + | - ] -77
<DonThorino> en der kan låne mig en cd-key
<FeliX> 1. English only
<FeliX> 2. Warez is not allowed
<FeliX> 3. Good bye
* FeliX sets mode: +b DonThorino!
*abw@0x503e007e.albnxx8.adsl.tele.dk
* DonThorino was kicked by FeliX (DonThorino)
#44296 [ + | - ] 260
<Wolfer> kbhit: How can we help you?
<kbhit> wolfer, deop chanserv in #outlawz
<kbhit> he's not a member
<kbhit> and he keeps getting oped
#44295 [ + | - ] 329
<@Stapler[BTEG]> I'll be 19 in exactly one month.
<+Stinger> Stapler[BTEG]: whens your birthday?
<@Stapler[BTEG]> Stinger: Add one month.
#44293 [ + | - ] 34
<^CK]IR[> i get my games from efnet
<[UpK]ELYX1R]IR[> www.efnet.com?
#44287 [ + | - ] 22
<Genome> im getting emacs for windows
<Genome> this should be worth a laugh
<SirLudicrus> oh my god
<SirLudicrus> that's like getting a pinto engine for your
ferrari
#44283 [ + | - ] 300
* mike23 joined #mircscripts.org
<mike23> can anyone tell me a website for mircscripts and
addons ?
#44279 [ + | - ] 436
* Switzerland has quit IRC (Connection reset by peer)
<SteveTheNormalGuy> HE'S GOING FOR COUNTRIES NOW!
<SteveTheNormalGuy> HE GOT SWITZERLAND
#44266 [ + | - ] 779
<MiniMizer> Can you spell GEY?!?
#44262 [ + | - ] 320
Dervish: I want boxer shorts that have text " Geek inside" in
the front =)
plan-9: why? noone will ever see that
#44243 [ + | - ] 306
<Martel> i'm naked
<gotenks> i'm disgusted
#44232 [ + | - ] 199
[JaymoFish] I can change jumper settings on my HDs via BIOS
right?
[Ben`] nope
[JaymoFish] thats gay
[Ben`] no, you're gay for not having them set right in the
first place :P
[JaymoFish] no
[JaymoFish] they're set in right
[JaymoFish] but to make an ext. HD
[JaymoFish] you gotta set it to Master inside a computer
[JaymoFish] then take it out
[Ben`] dude
[Ben`] you'll need to pull it out anyway to make it an
EXTERNAL hard drive
[Ben`] Won't YOU!
[JaymoFish] oh yeah
[JaymoFish] damnit
#44231 [ + | - ] 245
<pHluid-> And that theoretical cap of 12k/sec, I've never seen
it. 8k/sec is the tops I ever saw moving text around, except
for that one mystical time when the moon was aligned properly.
:
<Tom> sometimes if I drink goats blood thats still warm and
cut fresh from the goat I get 800k/s
<datacide> i have sacrificed virgins and managed an extra 0.1
kb/s
<datacide> in the end i decided it is better to defile them
<datacide> gives you more on the long run
<pHluid-> datacide: That's because virgins create line noise.
#44230 [ + | - ] 145
<+Arminas> ffs, i fucking hate auto get sometimes, why ppl
feel the need to send me gay porn other stupid shit is beyond
me
<+Arminas> it might of been funny like 4months ago but now it
pisses me off cause when i host ftp's i share my dcc directory
get ppl like "i didn't know you were gay?"
#44228 [ + | - ] 404
<Kurin> Whee new window manager
<Kurin> http://kurin.d2g.com:3001/now.jpg
* NinjaStu wonders...
-> *nickserv* ghost kurin bloom
* Kurin Quit (Killed (NickServ (Ghost: NinjaStu)))
-Services.Aniverse.Com- [kurin] has been killed
<NinjaStu> amazing
<NinjaStu> THIS IS WHY YOU DON"T TAKE A SCEEN OF YOUR NICKSERV
PASS
* Kurin (~kurin@ip68-0-224-168.ri.ri.cox.net) has joined #
megatokyo
<Kurin> Well that was rude
#44215 [ + | - ] 705
<Vhalros> You are what you eat.
<Antoile> Are you calling me a pussy?
<Vhalros> No I very much doubt that I am.
#44213 [ + | - ] 715
* Viktor is curious...does holding up a magnet to your
monitor...-damage- it in any way?
<Kyle_Physalis> Yes.
<Viktor> Ah...so the big black spot doesn't go away?
#44205 [ + | - ] 331
<Flameseeker> no analyze of my nick, please :D
* Spazz kills Flameseeker and demands that he change his name.
* Adonai seeks the flame which Flameseeker seeks.
* Flameseeker is now known as Lameseeker
<Lameseeker> better, eh?
<Adonai> Lameseeker has finished his quest!
#44204 [ + | - ] 166
<TBNE> does it cost ?
<Adonai> TBNE, it's free as the black man in 1819
#44186 [ + | - ] 104
<gcc-> my powerbook is being assembled in taiwan. do they give
people in sweatshops the weekend off?
<Simbill> lmao
<Simbill> prob not
<Simbill> lucky for you
<Simbill> =)
#44175 [ + | - ] 259
<Radon> there goes the neighborhood.
<Radon> power went out.
<Radon> thank god for UPS
<Shel-afk> lol
<Shel-afk> Thats great
<Radon> surprised the cable didnt go out.
<Radon> phone did.
<Shel-afk> The only thing that works in your house is the
computer
<Shel-afk> "So, what did you do during the power outage"
<Radon> and flashlights.
<Shel-afk> "Played quake"