<@gotti> you know you go to a bar too much when quicken suggests it as a scheduled transaction
<Niva> I bet whoever invented Jello did so because he had a lot of friends who did acid, and really wanted to fuck with them. <Niva> "Hey, Matt, pour me a glass of water." <Niva> "Sure man, I- HOLY SHIT!" <Andolph> And just to tease them, they stuck all kinds of stuff like doll heads and legs inside the jello <Niva> Dude, this water isn't pouring? <Niva> "What are you talking about? You're getting it all over the floor!" "IT'S STILL IN THE PITCHER, MAN!!!"
<surge[dd]> I'm Iraqi <surge[dd]> I'll put a bomb in your mailbox <tenks> I don't drop bombs <tenks> I drop tanks <Thrasher`work> yeah septic tanks <Thrasher`work> cuz you're full of shit
<Taris> also, this I must share. It comes right out of my physics text book * Ssithl prepares for brainmelt. <Taris> A hockey puck, mass 0.115kg, moving at 35 m/s, strikes an octopus thrown onto the ice by a fan. The octopus has a mass of 0.265 kg. The puck and octopus slide off together. Find the velocity. <Taris> yeah, this is one that the authors put in for those students that stay up late trying to do these
<martin rockwell> life is like a vending machine, mate <martin rockwell> you either have everything you want <martin rockwell> or you're stuck in it like your fucking change
<Alwayz> linux is like the inlaw that shows up for christmas and no one knows why he's there, but he cooks amazing food <Cyriana> and molests your children
barfcat: So if you used subnetting on a network with Mac's, would that be considered Apple CIDR?
cthulhudream: come on Ben theres gotta be something we can do ||AB|| Benzin: alright I got an idea ||AB|| Benzin: I'm gonna need a pound of rohypnol, a keg, and directions to the nearest sorority house ||AB|| Benzin: and an alibi ||AB|| Benzin: cause they'll trace that shit when 30 girls don't remember what happened or why their pregnant, and all that cthulhudream: I kinda wanna make larping weapons ||AB|| Benzin: and on the other end of the spectrum...
<Cell>: i heard tupac was hung like a horse <Kleptomaniac>: Tupac was shot, he wasn't hung. Read the news sometime.
<DirkGently> IBO's about to turn into a OS war zone. <iDno> no because...watch this <iDno> Im going to do something that NO mac user is capable of doing. * iDno drops it.
<+pf_work> what's the opposite of <3? <Lokii> h8 <Rodry> </3 <sdoherty> >3 <Lems> !<3
<CragHack>Theory is when you know everything and nothing works. <CragHack>Practice is when things work, and noone knows why. <CragHack>Here we combine theory and practice. <CragHack>Nothing works and noone knows why. <Bs> O.o lol'd.
Jmnky127: i found a way to make money Jmnky127: at school Jmnky127: people will give me dollars to light my nipples on fire with axe Jmnky127: or other peoples nipples while they are asleep Jmnky127: ive made some good money doin that Jmnky127: like $10 Jmnky127: ive been able to eat a good lunch
<%crazy_clown> php is like teh pron <Keef> quick, dirty and cheap? <%crazy_clown> and i fap over it
(08:57:00 PM) Nick: If I had could anyone as a Street Fighter character, it'd be Stephen Hawking. (08:57:31 PM) Nick: You know his special move would be...his wheelchar would fly up in the air and then slam down into the other guy like a meteor or something.
<Scully> Yeah, so far for me "national guard" has meant taking hikes and standing around during demonstrations. <Scully> I'm not a rent-a-cop dammit <nightwatch> yah, still better than being in iraq tho <Scully> i know, my cousin got killed there 2 years ago :( <jonm> howd that happen <Scully> his humvee got hit by an RPG <jonm> wat <Scully> ? <jonm> dude im bein serious <Scully> what? <jonm> how the fuck can a roleplaying game destroy a humvee
<_Nor> some bird's applied for my dba team leader role <_Nor> as her interests she lists "Motorsport, reading (Science Fiction, Science) and playing racing games on PS2/PC <_Nor> I think she's got confused and was actually applying to be my wife
<fugi> 64 bytes from 207.46.197.32: icmp_seq=0 ttl=115 time= 69.422 ms <fugi> 64 bytes from 207.46.197.32: icmp_seq=0 DUP! ttl=115 time=69.887 ms <fugi> 64 bytes from 207.46.197.32: icmp_seq=0 DUP! ttl=115 time=86.464 ms <fugi> microsoft.com sends duplicates.. <fugi> it like they got bored of making new security holes so they just brought back some old ones
Curt teh Juggler: our graduation ceremony was today, and right when some gamer nerd got his diploma, someone in the audience played the zelda "get item" music and he did the zelda spin-hold-out-item stance Curt teh Juggler: it was quite possibly the most amazing thing ever.
<mi09>this spam generator is great. i sent out a million emails for my product <jives_>how'd it go? <mi09>great! i gat a 10% return rate <jives>thats really high! <mi09>yeah. a hundred thousand people telling me to fuck off
<thanatos> you know...the word emos sounds like some kind of a cereal <ka0tix> It does. <thanatos> eating emos for breakfast <Blaze> Emo-os <Blaze> A razor in every bite <ka0tix> "Emos. Now with free razor blades."
Magna Carta: Being in Alexa's top 1000 says a lot for any site... Motley: Related: In walmart today, it was pretty packed Motley: and my nephew (11) is going to get some icees, he gets ready to turn left out of electronics Motley: and he goes 'dude, what flavor?' Motley: I shouted 'MOAR MUDKIPS' (aka blue) Motley: Then this is what I hear.. Motley: Far left: 'KILL IT WITH FIRE!' Motley: Far right: 'NO U' Motley: Behind: 'DO NOT WANT' Motley: and then god bless 'em, the guy standing *right* next to me goes 'shut the fuck up btards!" Magna Carta: ... Magna Carta: You live in EKY? Motley: ...yeah Magna Carta: OSHIT
Muri> "Does it count as crossplay if Im a man, cosplaying a man, who dresses as a woman?" Dephemait> no... but it's STILL gay
<SketchCow> I've been asked to shut down 7 servers, all of them roughly 10 years old. <SketchCow> I've been making them play taps before turning off permanently.
< ameyer> citalim: you argue like O'Reilly <+citalim> i have a theory that bill o'reilly doesn't believe a word he says <+citalim> i think he's just trolling on a much larger scale <+citalim> i look up to him
<ez76> a mac vs. pc commercial you'll never see: "Whatcha doin, PC?" "I'm playing this new game." "Oh really, which one?" "Any." "Oh." (silence) (fade)
<nOmAd93-8> oh, I've lost a ke.-button on m. ke.board... which is after "x" and before "z"!! <68-bbb> there aren't any keys between z and x, dumbass
<+AdamR> bahahahahahah just got a reply from zen about that gateway being named "gay-dsl1" <Er00`> Oh? <Pru> WEEEEEEEEEEEE <+AdamR> Hi Adam, All of our DSL gateways are named after renowned philosophers, in this case Gay is named for John Gay, see the below website for more information; http:// www.philosophypages.com/dy/g.htm <TheDon> rofl <+AdamR> notice how there isnt a picture of him on that site <Er00`> Hehe <+AdamR> thats the best fucking techincal support response i've ever had
<c> I'm just not that creative at naming. I name my computers after dead guys who argued a lot. <DrAppleseed> Is your next one going to be named Falwell? <c> Somehow, I don't think it would get along with Turing.
<Fraeon> I have found an awesome reason to become emo <Fraeon> You can celebrate all those days you weren't born instead of that one day you were
Torodung (31985): You can't write code or design software that will secure "stupid." [..] If those folks were using an abacus, they'd probably get their head stuck in it.
<j0e> when i want to download music i look up what the band thinks about filesharing <j0e> if they're okay with it, i download the song <j0e> if they're against it, i download the song out of spite <UriGeller> what if they haven't said anything on filesharing <j0e> that's what i call a tacit endorsement
<Will T. Rex> So, at the pub last saturday <Will T. Rex> Really bogan pub, with pool and AC/DC on the TV jukebox, at 3am in the morning... my nerdy friend says very loudly "NEED MOAR BEER!" <Will T. Rex> with emphasis on the 'moaaar', because we are nerds <Will T. Rex> ... and out of nowhere, some random dude screams "WE ARE ANNONYMOUS, WE ARE LEGION" <Will T. Rex> Fucking terrifying
<ganked> Did the doctor give you your test results? <ct> Yeah. Looks like all those years of phone sex caught up with me. <ct> I have hearing AIDS.
<patchinko> jerry falwell's dead <darsu> a-who? <lynkali> :o <lynkali> really? <patchinko> he died like >3 hours ago <Cthulhu> umm, you misread that part jon <Cthulhu> "School official said Falwell was fine at breakfast" <Prakk> they ate his corpse?
<Dave> Question: Is it "right" to stop registered sex offenders from registering on social networking sites? <highvoltage> Dave: where do you register to become a sex offender? * Vhata falls off his chair laughing <Dave> highvoltage: at your local school... <MrKen> Dave: No, that's where they hold the auditions
<Nangijala> activists in copenhagen have really figured it out this time <Carrots> whats going on now? <Nangijala> now instead of throwing rocks and rioting <Nangijala> they have climbed up in a tower <Nangijala> and will jump out if the politicians doesn't listen to them <Astral\afk> :D <Nangijala> now there's a problem that solves itself if i've ever seen one
<ZaXorZ> if you get glitter on you, be prepared to have it on you forever. <ZaXorZ> Glitter is the herpes of craft supplies
<godlys0ldier> How can i know what a $rand number is gonna be <Spitfire3292> ...Thats gotta be the fuckin stupidest thing i've heard all day
dmwit: You know, my first year at college they gave me a whistle. dmwit: They told me it was a rape whistle. dmwit: But no matter how hard I blew, I never got raped. =(
<kow|wk> so <kow|wk> worth noting <kow|wk> running "reboot -h" does NOT produce a helpful usage message
Erik: when did anakin skywalker become evil? Melissa: when?! Erik: in the sith grade!
<Chrysalid^Revenge> I had something like that happen to me once. <Chrysalid^Revenge> And vengeance is a plate best served cold. * Sectoid^Authopsy sits down for storytime <Chrysalid^Revenge> I saw some asshole stealing my pack of cigarettes from my table while I was getting another beer. <Chrysalid^Revenge> But of course, as I confronted him, he denied it flatly, and all the sudden four of his mates were getting ready for a fight and shit. <Chrysalid^Revenge> So I decided to back down, and rather get one over him later. <Chrysalid^Revenge> Of course, living in an army camp has it's advantages, such as easy access to ammo. <Sectoid^Authopsy> o_0 <Chrysalid^Revenge> So I took two Winner Tip cartridges, a little bit of tobacco, and quite a generous amount of gunpowder from a blank I 'obtained', topping it off with tobacco to get a proper look. <Chrysalid^Revenge> Next weekend, I leave my pack containing two cigs rather indiscreetly at my table when I see this assholes is at the pub, and go to pick up another beer. <Chrysalid^Revenge> When I come back, the pack has vanished. So I get hold of one of the bouncers, telling him that I saw someone carrying "what looked like fireworks around". <Chrysalid^Revenge> Ten seconds later, there's some nasty fizzing, a lot of smoke and a huge fucking flame coming from one of the corner tables, and seconds later, the same thing happens in the hand of one of the guys sitting there. <Chrysalid^Revenge> And at this point, it has to be mentioned that watching two bouncers pull a screaming guy with no eyebrows left, and a nasty burn up half his face out of a pub, 'accidentally' drop him down the stairs, and finally call the cops on him, does lead to a certain smugness. <Chrysalid^Revenge> The morale is, don't you ever fucking touch my cigarettes. I can probably spare you one if you ask, but fucking ask first, okay?!
<thou> yeah he isn't really that hrd.. <thou> *hard <arak0n> lern sum grammer u fuckin noob <thou> damn if I were you, I wouldn't be worrying about other people's grammar. <arak0n> it jus annois me when all them fukin noobs cum in here, an u cant unerstand anytin they r sayin. it make me wana just leve the channel * thou has left #wii (me too man. me too.)
SynAdam: whats harder than nailing a baby to a wall? Kato: ...what? SynAdam: my dick while im doing it Kato: .... SynAdam: get it? Kato: what in the FUCK is wrong with you?!
<classyhorse23> I had to google "jfgi" to see what it meant. The irony is overwhelming.