hQDB :: hacker Quote Database

Network Stats: 21105 Approved Quotes | 0 in Moderation Queue
#46962 [ + | - ] 367
<@neotek> can you imagine how many neck injuries occur each
year from camwhores with small tits trying to lick their
nipples?
#46961 [ + | - ] 270
<Trahen0ts> nobody loves me
<Trahen0ts> that's it
<Usiel> grow boobs. i'll love you
<Trahen0ts> *turn up polka*
<Trahen0ts> how do you know I don't have boobs?
<Usiel> your picture
<Trahen0ts> that could be somebody else
<Usiel> looks like you
<Trahen0ts> how do you know?
<Usiel> i saw you
<Trahen0ts> when?
<Usiel> couple years ago
<Trahen0ts> ..
<Trahen0ts> that coulda been somebody else.
<Usiel> kind of an elaborate hoax just to fool me
<Trahen0ts> well, I'm an elaborate guy
<Trahen0ts> I have boobs, trust me
#46954 [ + | - ] 1047
<Usual> i'd convert to catholicism if i could have my book
back
<Usual> oh here it is
<Usual> shit
<Usual> you think god saw that?
#46953 [ + | - ] 959
<Sock_Monkee> woot, the hot checkout girl at the market was
checking me out again today
<OceanWave_> of course she was checking you out, you were in
the fucking supermarket line!
#46948 [ + | - ] 595
<Drull> OMG
<Drull> ARE ANY OF YOU WATCHING CNN???
<CowWEB> no whats going on?
<ego-man> ????
<ego-man> what channel is cnn?
<Drull> i dunno, nothing probably. was just wondering if
anyone was watching cnn
<LadyNikki> lol
<ego-man> fucker, i turned on my tv for the first time in
weeks. for nothin
#46933 [ + | - ] 176
( cyc )  brb
<--  ( Quit )  cyc (~cyc@nixhelp-23078.esatclear.ie) has quit.
Reason: (Quit: [X]chat - Who gives a dayum!)
( Cybermutt4 )  oi
( Cybermutt4 )  that kid is annoying
-->  ( join )  cyc (~cyc@nixhelp-23078.esatclear.ie) joined (#
linux).
( Cybermutt4 )  welcome back
#46927 [ + | - ] 385
<niglet3> my "father" sent me a mail with an image (joke about
florida's voting procedure, has a picture of some fisher-price
toy) -- the source?  forum.incesttaboo.com ...
#46925 [ + | - ] 604
<DieHard> I was lagging so bad it felt like i was shouting
binary codes through a pay phone.
#46913 [ + | - ] 657
<CaptainCanada231> So wait, I should grow the goatse?
<CaptainCanada231> *goatee
#46899 [ + | - ] 21
(@flawed) it's not rape until you get picked out of the line
up.
#46891 [ + | - ] 200
(|Lenore|) why does windows even bother giving estimates? the
times change by 5 minutes every thirty seconds...
#46869 [ + | - ] 272
<+DrDiamond> I had a hot dog in Steamboat Springs Colorado at
the Kum n' Go market
<+DrDiamond> no joke
<+DrDiamond> terrible name
<@kelea> least it wasn't in Climax, Colorado.
<+DrDiamond> I'll bet Climax has one
<+DrDiamond> it's a chain
<@kelea> lordy.  A chain of Kum 'n Go sounds like my date
life.
#46867 [ + | - ] 519
<Freaky> y'know what i don't get...
<ButtMcFloyd> laid?
#46862 [ + | - ] 210
<blu|tired> you tried to compartmentalise and detach yourself
from your emotional response to the book and approach it
abstractly, trying to purify the visual essence of your own
thoughts and feelings.
<blu|tired> so you made a sqaure
<blu|tired> a purple square
#46860 [ + | - ] 193
Rabid Llama: heh, somebody should legally change their name to
"8==D"
Rabid Llama: so they could just draw a penis instead of
signing
#46858 [ + | - ] 593
<CHAT Phut>  I'm a rebel.
<CHAT Phut>  Yesterday, I crossed the street and I only looked
TO THE LEFT!
<CHAT Phut>  (you are supposed to look both ways)
#46850 [ + | - ] 135
<loucura> She just accused me of having an affair with my
router.
<loucura> Route me baby Route me!  Oh!  Oh yah!  Oh!
<ivan> damnit my packets aren't going through
<loucura> ivan: That's because you're using the CONDOM flag
#46846 [ + | - ] 14
<Girl_Type_Zhanma> I LOVE irl... the internet can go suck cock
in hell for all i care XP
#46844 [ + | - ] 24
> HyperShadowDC gets in barrel
(Scott)  A barrel of homosexuals? Where do I sign up?!
#46840 [ + | - ] 403
<The-Fighter> i'm not a penis-driven tennager, unlike some
people in this room
<The-Fighter> *cough*
<BlazeHedgehog> MY PENIS DRIVES ME TO WORK EVERY DAY :D
#46839 [ + | - ] 159
<Trousers> Man.  Comments about sperm always quiet channels.
I still don't know why.
#46837 [ + | - ] 19
<Trousers> In the game of sex, nearly getting laid is no feat
whatsoever.
<Sep|MIDIscroungingstillstick> almost only counts in
horseshoes and handgrenades
#46835 [ + | - ] 300
<krypt> note to self: never tell a girl she's not tight
<Bigbacon> did you?
<krypt> yeah
<krypt> i told her best friend last night
<Bigbacon> what was her responce?
<krypt> her best friend was like
<krypt> 'she wanted you to think she was a virgin' and i was
like 'i never thought she was a virgin' 'she wasn't tight
enough'
<krypt> then i was like
<krypt> 'she has small boobs with big nipples too'
<krypt> and her friend was like
<krypt> I DON'T NEED TO KNOW THIS STUFF
#46820 [ + | - ] 112
* BlazeHedgehog is playing through Links Awakening right now
as we speak; for the first time
<Arrow> FIRST TIME?!
<BlazeHedgehog> I've owned the game for two years; I was just
really lazy about it.  But now I've gotten into the habit of
taking my GBC in with me when I go to take a crap. :B
<Arrow> Those must be long dumps if you got all the way to
Dungeon 7 off of it
#46814 [ + | - ] -29
<franx> im suing myself, for being so homo
#46813 [ + | - ] -269
(code-game) black people like to dance
#46811 [ + | - ] 190
fastfido2000: I'm still puzzled on how that chunk fit through
my hole...
fastfido2000: It's SCARY.
Kefka505: ....
Kefka505: Whoa, wait, start over.
fastfido2000: Weren't we talking about my "artistic vision?"
Kefka505: I sure as hell hope we were. O.o;
#46810 [ + | - ] 885
<Freezer> crap whered i put my assignment paper for the access
thing
--> twentydead has joined #linux
<twentydead> in ur butt
<-- twentydead has left #linux
<twentydead_serv> man who was that
<Freezer> i wonder
#46809 [ + | - ] 7
<Freed> jesus got his holy water all over my ass :(
#46806 [ + | - ] 236
(@|TripleH|) would you let a guy blow you for $1 million ?
(EnronExec) 500 dollars
(EnronExec) you can blow me for 500 dollars
#46804 [ + | - ] -101
(flawed) personally i like to take a shit on one boys chest
and jerk off while the other one spells out "i love you
flawed" in shit
#46803 [ + | - ] 233
(sh) i leave for two minutes and you guys are estimating the
ejaculatory capacity of young boy's digestive systems
#46800 [ + | - ] 10
<R-e-s-t> i know about 3 quarters of the whole html
#46799 [ + | - ] 303
<NekoGirl> i wonder if half of the ppl is making idiot to
appear on QDB or is just bornt that way
<Livewireo> That made no sense whatsoever
<NekoGirl> ok, remaking
<NekoGirl> i wonder if half of the ppl in here is playing
idiot to appear on QDB or is just they bornt that way
#46796 [ + | - ] 202
<charka> that lady you yelled at
<charka> who started crying
<jesus> My retarded neighbor, what aboot her?
<charka> you should scare her with some fireworks :)
<jesus> That is only funny the first few times
#46795 [ + | - ] 509
<debutante> i use dragon naturally speaking
<debutante> I say enter and its done
<Rjx> I don't like those voice recognition programs
<Rjx> granted I haven't used one in about 3 years
<Rjx> but the last one I used I would speak a proper sentance
<debutante> well im lying anyway
<Rjx> and it'd come out with "alice alice alice melon
grapefruit monkey"
#46794 [ + | - ] 300
Dr SpaZZo: Simpsons isnt that good anymore
TwilightKnight00: its still good!
Dr SpaZZo: Its just a little sucky, its still good, its still
good
#46792 [ + | - ] 185
<Randt> if you go to jail, your best friend is the laxative...
then when you're shitting all over the joint, noone is going
to ass rape you
#46791 [ + | - ] 24
<Dark_T_Zeratul> My calculator slices, dices, and can scramble
an egg within it's shell.  It also makes julian fries and gets
AM radio stations.
<Lady_Vahn> I'll become rich after thinking of a way to steal
stuff across the internet
<Lady_Vahn> I could like, sell it for a million dollars, keep
the prototype
<Lady_Vahn> then steal it from the guy I sold it too
#46790 [ + | - ] 694
<Kio> Blizz.
<Kio> I submitted the Titanic quote to bash.
<blizz_away> Er.
<blizz_away> Kio.
<blizz_away> The titanic quote is from bash.
#46784 [ + | - ] 36
Dr SpaZZo: I started getting down to it and then my room lit
on fire.
TwilightKnight00: if your computer overheats and combusts and
you run to another computer to tell people about it..... you
might be a junkie
#46783 [ + | - ] 148
Dr SpaZZo: Complain about something and I'll one up you.
TwilightKnight00: um i'm cold?
Dr SpaZZo: My laptop power cord is making sparks and at any
moment it'll probably light my pants on fire.
TwilightKnight00: heheh thats kinda funny
Dr SpaZZo: I know...
TwilightKnight00: if it does happen
TwilightKnight00: grab your digicam
TwilightKnight00: i want video
#46779 [ + | - ] 30
TwilightKnight: omfg
TwilightKnight: i just lost 2 and a half hours of my life
TwilightKnight: to unreal tournament
DrSpaZZo: Really? I just fucking lost 4 hours of my life to
fixing my laptop
DrSpaZZo: So shut the fuck up
#46777 [ + | - ] 644
<@`2L> South Korea is to spend nearly twenty billion dollars
to hook up every household in the country to broadband
internet.
<@`2L> South Korea, where 60% of the country's 48 million
citizens surf, is to ensure all homes can receive broadband
connections by 2005, reports BBC.
<@`2L> The Korean Government is funding loans of 13.3 trillion
won (around 20 billion Australian dollars) to the country's
biggest telecom company, KT Corp, and ISPs to enable the
massive infrastructure project.
<div> 20 billion on diablo. starcraft and pr0n
<div> best govt ever
#46774 [ + | - ] 37
[StorDuff] wtf, he left. i cant even pick up people (gay or
not) on irc :(
#46773 [ + | - ] 258
<Kcom> Anyone know what's it called when someone drinks sperm?
<elSandros> Disgusting.
#46771 [ + | - ] 31
<sean> That'd be cool megwen if you guys menstrated an actual
period, or that Walmart smily face period guy that drops
prices
#46767 [ + | - ] 133
<Slack> *sigh* yes sir. **kneels** ((lol))
<MaximumMango> > ((lol)) <--- doesn't that look kinky in an
ascii sort of way?
<Dest> Yes.
<Dest> It looks like something I'd like to put my penis in.
#46766 [ + | - ] 127
<Titan> Where is everyone?
<GOLDNFIRE> up fizis ass
<Alby> that is sad ;(
<GOLDNFIRE> ya
<GOLDNFIRE> from what they say his sister a small dog + 4
homeless people are there as well
#46763 [ + | - ] 111
<Lowbrow> She needs an ass fucking
<rooster> shes 60
<Lowbrow> oh.
<PamelaPeaks> ...