hQDB :: hacker Quote Database

Network Stats: 21105 Approved Quotes | 0 in Moderation Queue
#50787 [ + | - ] 165
nonickprovided: do you at least have a pic?
p_mimi_123456789: i dont have even my scanner.. my mom promise
me to buy a cam this x-mas...
nonickprovided: well then I can even imagine what your doing
in my head
nonickprovided: I don't even know whgat you look like
p_mimi_123456789: im look like nicole kidman...
nonickprovided: yeah well that just blew your cover as a gay
guy
#50784 [ + | - ] 123
<@toad-> I am 0x1E2303BB Seconds old. (5.103407 * ln(-[ln(lim
[z->0] (1+1/z)^z)])*sqrt(-[sin^2(x) + cos^2(x)])*(-[cosh(y)
*sqrt(1-tanh^2(y))) years old) (My next birthday is in 51wks
26mins 45secs)
#50782 [ + | - ] 25
<F-F> Marks the end of a dialup ISP for me!!!
<F-F> and ive never bitched about UTV :P
<r0x0r> i thought you was getting AOL
<F-F> i am yeah
<F-F> but its a trial :P
<r0x0r> Your 500 free hours are not welcome here, F-F :-/
<F-F> 100 :-/
<F-F> in the usa its 1025
<F-F> here its 100
<F-F> 500.. here? haha
<F-F> No :P
<r0x0r> whatever
<r0x0r> everyone gets sick after 1 or 2 hours
#50779 [ + | - ] 1647
<Koult> Hey Lac'
<Lac'> Sup dude?
<Koult> You know I went to the cinema with Claire
<Lac'> aye
<Koult> She gave me a blowjob half way through
<Lac'> really!?sweet!
<Koult> No dude, not fucking sweet,
<Lac'> ?
<Koult> Just as I came I was looking up at the screen,
<Koult> and Elijah Wood aka Frodo looked right into the camera
<Koult> and now I've got his face burned into my memory, I
feel I've just gotten head from a fucking Hobbit
<Lac'>I'd type rofl ect but if I dont stop laughing I'll piss
myself
#50775 [ + | - ] 285
<Goose-dz> what you should do is bury half of your money in
the back yard
<D3StRuCT> wait a minute
<D3StRuCT> i remember something like this in the bible, i was
actually awake on this one
<D3StRuCT> didnt that guy get called a dumb ass bitch?
<Goose-dz> they used the phrase dumb ass bitch in the bible?
<D3StRuCT> well no
<Goose-dz> must be the new testament
<D3StRuCT> it was much more complex and condescending
#50774 [ + | - ] 287
<aBoijj> he asked me where I downloaded it from
<aBoijj> I said I walked into the shop and downloaded it from
the shelf to my hand then uploaded some money from my pocket
to the till via the shop assistant
#50772 [ + | - ] 338
<Coolman_mike> brb, my keyboard isnt working
#50769 [ + | - ] 316
<Koult> ah yes, but fat people are harder to kidnap
#50767 [ + | - ] 914
<hazza-> there was a young vampire named mable
<hazza-> who's periods where really quite stable
<hazza-> and every full moon
<hazza-> she'd get out a spoon
<hazza-> and drink herself under the table
<|iCARUS> sick bastard
<|iCARUS> i like it tho :0
#50761 [ + | - ] 334
<Alty> i say burn bill gates at the stake and all will be well
<Ron[afk]> :)
<Esper> yay! fire solves everything!
<Ron[afk]> Except for fires.
#50760 [ + | - ] 26
<SuperMegaGeek145> this is a really gooooood movie
<xTaVx> lol
<xTaVx> You need a paper towel?
<SuperMegaGeek145> ewww
<SuperMegaGeek145> good, commercial
<SuperMegaGeek145> brb
#50757 [ + | - ] 152
(@Vinpire) ahh but 25 days until some lovely new stuff. and
only a month till i get some money and buy and xbox
(+[KdAwG]) ....
(+[KdAwG]) Vinpire; i never want to speak to you again
(@Vinpire) oh it's like that, even after i sent you that star
wars rom
(@Vinpire) pah
(+[KdAwG]) ...you sent me star wars? :x
(@Vinpire) jeez, i uploaded it to your ftp so other people
could rape you for it yesterday
(+[KdAwG]) ...you did? :D
(@Vinpire) it's in uploads. lol
(+[KdAwG]) wow
(+[KdAwG]) it is
(+[KdAwG]) <3
#50752 [ + | - ] 153
<+Psylent> It turned out to be a good night in any case
<+Psylent> and yes, this is all a thinly veiled ruse to boast
about my new girlfriend
<SteamedHams> you can't use irc AND have sex
<SteamedHams> irc shoots out invisible rays that kill your
sperm
<egg> that's good
<+Psylent> that's very good
<egg> you don't need to use protection
<SteamedHams> yeah, let the aids flow
<egg> he's not african
<SteamedHams> ahaha, his girlfriend knows that better than
anyone
#50745 [ + | - ] 716
zambezi: Why's it called the tourist season if we're not
allowed to shoot them?
forge: Shit!
forge: We aren't?
#50743 [ + | - ] 211
Gildor gets back on his hands and knees and dives back under
the desk
moki: trying for another promotion, Gildor?
#50735 [ + | - ] 308
<sleeper> I wonder if it would be illegal to take scans of a
magazine from 1960 and sell them
<sleeper> I figure it must be....but is it?
<Sku> has to be older then that to be legal fer sure
<sleeper> you're sure that isn't public domain by now?
<ZeroHour> no sleeper, PlayBoy is still in business
<ZeroHour> lol
<sleeper> how'd you know it was playboy?
#50734 [ + | - ] 98
<kremlyn> I was in #atomicmpc, then I left because they are
all gheybos (tm)
<kremlyn> And he pm'd me and asked me to come back
<kremlyn> So I said
<kremlyn> [19:48] <kremlyn> Why? To watch a bunch of
pre-pubescent CS playing    Overclockers talk about how much
faster their computer is now that it's running at a 4 Mhz
faster FSB, when for the amount of money they spent on a
liquid-urine cooling system, they could have bought a faster
box anyway?
<kremlyn> And he quit
#50733 [ + | - ] 204
<Jeeeeebus> plus i got jedis to give me hound jobs..
<LDM> hound jobs = beastality?
<Jeeeeebus> HAND!! HAND!!
#50731 [ + | - ] 346
<@frosty[bong]> Current Time Time:«12:38am» Day:«Sunday»
Date:«December 1st 2002» TimeZone:«GMT -8:00»  I-n-v-i-s-i-o-n

<@frosty[bong]> its December!!!
<@kmad> sweet
<@kmad> only 14 months till feburary
#50729 [ + | - ] 25
<Justn> I cant wait till the summer i'll be working out so
much... I'm gonna be ripped!
<Ian_540> maybe working out will give you big muscles, but it
won't make your small dick any bigger
#50709 [ + | - ] 335
<gee-1> we should market heart monitor devices that're like
implanted. so if you die, it'll remotely run a program, to
like make your computer log in, get on irc, and msg your
friends that you're dead.
#50708 [ + | - ] 711
<Toen> With Starfox Adventures, Rare redefined fun.
<Toen> Fun (adj.) 1: Not fun.
#50701 [ + | - ] 285
<|TripleH|> Ever been fucking some 15-year-old homeless girl
and the roofies wear off and she starts to wake up? Do you
just keep going, or do you hit her with a toaster or something
and try to knock her back out? I never know what to do.
#50681 [ + | - ] 923
<naga> so how long can nicknames be?
<parnbl00d> pretty long
* naga is now known as nagaiseatingpie
<nagaiseatingpie> cool
* naga is now known as nagalikeslongdicks
<nagalikeslongdicks> nicks! nicks!
<nagalikeslongdicks> shit
<parnbl00d> ahahaha
#50680 [ + | - ] -14
<SiX-SiN> www.shoutcast.com
<[ZeRo]luNa-SiN> mmm kpop
<SiX-SiN> ckr lags
<[ZeRo]luNa-SiN> omfg
<[ZeRo]luNa-SiN> how is KPOP fucking 2nd and 4th
<SiX-SiN> i dunno
<SiX-SiN> it would be rap
<SiX-SiN> but niggers dont kno how to use the computer
#50677 [ + | - ] 366
<Wedgie> yay! the flickering stopped..
<Wedgie> I fetched a hammer and looked at the monitor really
threatening :)
#50676 [ + | - ] 418
<[LH]Georg> PAIN LEADS TO ANGER. AND ANGER LEADS TO CAPS LOCK.
AND CAPS LOCK LEADS TO REVOLTING PEOPLE IN AN IRC CHANNEL.
#50665 [ + | - ] 24
<Unsounder|HW> Mixs
<Unsounder|HW> didn't you forget to wank?
<Unsounder|HW> there's porn in 30 mins
<Mixs-zZZz> Haven't got that chan :/
<Unsounder|HW> i mean come on....you can't go loaded to school
<Unsounder|HW> on gymnasium you'll have a hardon constantly
then :P
<Mixs-zZZz> Did I tell you about the bombthreat? I think I
did..
<Mixs-zZZz> I wanked after that :P
<Unsounder|HW> ROFL
<Unsounder|HW> I don't wanna know what you did the 11th sep
then :P
#50649 [ + | - ] 342
<g9icy> heh, opposite my old house there was this massive
field...i used to find all sorts on there, old needles (didn't
touch), used jonnies...cars...bikes...etc
<Xanothis> are you implying you touched the used jonnies?
#50635 [ + | - ] 261
<PsychoticBat> Digga, what did skid do that made him a
cocksucker?
<Atchoo> Please :)
<Digga> sucked a cock
<PsychoticBat> Oh.
#50630 [ + | - ] 294
<NuttO> 'I went to a movie last night and saw a marquee for
[Eight Crazy Nights]: "EIGHT CRAZY NIG" 10:30.'
#50615 [ + | - ] 162
<ajpiano|fifa03> THIS WANKS AWFUL
<Jig|werk> prosthetic hand?
<derobrash> heh
<derobrash> lol
<Jig|werk> put it in the microwave and warm it up.
#50610 [ + | - ] 256
<EazyCheez> I know this girl who is really hot and sweet, a
Big Beautiful Woman... she makes my Captain stand at attention
<sqweak> hollywood lied
<sqweak> big is not beautiful
<EazyCheez> she's 5'2 and 305 or something, but I don't
care... woo hoo she's wild!
<TreeSquid> EazyCheez: HOLY FUCK
<sqweak> DEAR GOD MAN
<sqweak> that's a fucking keg on legs!
<TreeSquid> that is disgusting, and you are a crazy piece of
shit
<antivert> hungry hungry hippos!
<TreeSquid> don't ever talk to me again
<TreeSquid> that's just plain nasty
<sqweak> how the fuck do you squeeze 300 lbs into 5'2
<sqweak> thats like, 5 lbs an INCH!
#50576 [ + | - ] 201
<gav_> Myst : your gonna do something other than irc??
<mystican> yea exactly
<gav_> cool
<gav_> what channel?
#50573 [ + | - ] 337
<EviL`J> i had soem 10 year old ask me to cyber the other day
<LordOfSwine> how was it?
#50564 [ + | - ] 206
duckstab: Oh and as if i'm the only guy that'd ask God for a
handjob. He INVENTED the penis, guys.
#50554 [ + | - ] 231
<Satori> I read this book once, yeh, about this guy named
claude who hooked up with this young gal who got pregnant and
it wasn't his kid, but she said it was the result of getting
raped by a supernaural being so he was cool with it so he
packed the old girl up and headed off to pay taxes on her ass
so's she'd be legal like... but shit happened and she wound up
birthing the brat in some shit-filled barn so the shepherd
brought in myrhh and frankincense
#50544 [ + | - ] 216
<slut> i'm banned from kmart for stealing condoms i'll never
use
#50540 [ + | - ] 154
* BlueDust shudders as u tuch her wet pussy
* Voice-From-The-Toilet beats Seaker up with a power tool
* BlueDust (shicchic@sg-33877.mweb.co.za) has left #5fm
<Seaker> BWAHAHAHAHAHA
<Voice-From-The-Toilet> heya blekwissird
<Seaker> Bluedust obviously had the wrong window open for that
1
<Seaker> wahaha
#50523 [ + | - ] 1319
<DarthSemiAway> 2000 mockingbirds = 2 kilamockingbirds
#50522 [ + | - ] 127
<Keza> Dear Diary, I think thoes cnuts in #x have been reading
yuo again
#50521 [ + | - ] 192
<My`Albanian`Ass> why u miss me?
<^hOTTIE^4^U^> yeh
<^hOTTIE^4^U^> bAd
<My`Albanian`Ass> how bad
<My`Albanian`Ass> bad enough to masturbate urself infront of a
mirror while wearing a face mask that looks like my face?
#50509 [ + | - ] 183
<CoRDS> damn my cat is lazy, he is just lying on the bed
showing off his testicles
<|CluBCaT|> I was there about 10mins ago
#50482 [ + | - ] 155
<yegz> styric : pick one question
<yegz> and ask
<styric> which question
#50466 [ + | - ] 879
<Goldath> I just made a sammach with enough meat to kill a
large bird
<Goldath> Oh wait, it did
<Goldath> Hahaha, stupid turkey
#50412 [ + | - ] 4
<LB|homework> holy fuck, this log in my ass is no longer just
a pieceful log floating in assjuices, its somehow become a
battaring ram of "holy fuck i got to go"
#50411 [ + | - ] 856
<[CIT-R]StreaK> my puppy is crying :(
<Volt9000> so pull out
#50388 [ + | - ] 10
<+datafreak> im sure the thrust of my semen has improved, it
got as far as the monitor
#50387 [ + | - ] 239
[+mrspip]: your right ;)
[+SPo0n]: you're*
[+[SCB]m0yda]: ooooo we got a spelling bot in here ;P
[+SPo0n]: *have
[+SPo0n]: and grammar :P
#50386 [ + | - ] 140
TwilightKnight00: hey can you do me a favor
Dr SpaZZo: no.
Dr SpaZZo: Go on.