hQDB :: hacker Quote Database

Network Stats: 21105 Approved Quotes | 0 in Moderation Queue
#57013 [ + | - ] 569
<IRh@x0r> h0w d0 1 g3t the m0d5 to @nsw3r my qu35+i0n?
<pualat166> stop talkin like a fucked up irc nerd fuckwit and
they will listen to you maybe
<IRh@x0r> 1337
#57008 [ + | - ] 376
DasKrav: We were playing a review game in history class, on
the topic of the roman empire
DasKrav: The game was like this: The class divides into 8
groups, and one person rotates with the rest of the group in
jeapordy-style questions,
DasKrav: and the question was "What was the name of the
emperor who built a wall in britain?"
DasKrav: and nobody knew it, so he said "Here's a hint: Its
named after him."
DasKrav: and so this one jock guy in my class goes,
DasKrav: "Berlin?"
#56998 [ + | - ] 15
<injektion> did she get herpes
<PC|Holo> hahaha
<PC|Holo> yes and aids

2 minutes later

<@pc|dogg> and IMSOMNIA!!!
<PC|Holo> dogg just doesnt know when a joke is over
<PC|Holo> hes like a real life letterman!
#56996 [ + | - ] 442
<Jackal> If there is no God, who pops up the next Kleenex?
#56978 [ + | - ] 120
*** Anatole|ChickFilA is now known as Anatole
<Anatole> I went to the ATM, and I didn't have enough to break
$20. So instead of Chick Fil A, I made myself chicken-flavored
Ramen. Does this officially make me a college student now?
#56949 [ + | - ] 33
[18:04:13] »» Nick change [ crashloop » CrashFOOD ]
---
[23:03:48] »» Nick change [ CrashFOOD » Crashloop ]
[23:03:52] ([Binary]) That's a long lunch.
[23:04:25] [Crashloop] it is important to eat proper. :)
#56943 [ + | - ] 172
<BeZeRK> |NEWS FLASH| ALL K-MART AND WALMART STORES WILL BE
CLOSED IN IRAQ. - they will be replaced with Targets!
#56930 [ + | - ] 42
(Regarding a Diablo II game and password)
SchroeDotOrg: naked/asusual
J Jorenko: *joins you*
#56922 [ + | - ] 182
<Nike> i went to see LoTR with the flu :P
<Nike> i was almost carried
<AardWolf> I tend to go with females... rather than sexless
diseases
#56917 [ + | - ] 131
* Angelofmoon is now known as studywudyangel
<AngelSakura> there can be only one true angel in here....me!
:)
<Delta> -Services.Aniverse.Com- -- Listing nicknames matching
[*angel*] --
<Delta> -Services.Aniverse.Com- -- End of list (88/90 matches
shown) --
#56907 [ + | - ] 274
<-- FaNt0m_ has quit (Quit: Procrastination is like
masturbation; it's all good until you realize you just fucked
yourself.)
#56890 [ + | - ] 39
<pimpybra> christ, my computer is freezing more than a french
soldier during wartime.
#56885 [ + | - ] 155
<Alien8or> I was using a silicon gel to jack off. i had a
little accident.
<Alien8or> i was really rushing and then when I cummed i rest
for a bit. The silicon dried and where the silicon squished
between my fingers are little spieks. I got a spiked cock!
<Alien8or> heh, wait, its spiked Darth Maul style, this owns!
#56881 [ + | - ] 544
<Kuroko> Hey...I need to ask you guys something.
<Kuroko> Sleep or Trigun?
<CrackPr0n-E> masturbation -=X
<CrackPr0n-E> c. masturbation </= that's where it's at
<Kuroko> i'm not male.
<CrackPr0n-E> girls can masturbate too
<SPOONwork> Kuroko: what, women don't masturbate? lies
<CrackPr0n-E> spoon:she's 12
<SPOONwork> CrackPr0n-EET-NoPants: it's not stopping you. :P
<CrackPr0n-E> what does stop me?
<Kuroko> my mum also has a lovely habit of checking on
everyone late at night.
* Yukanojo thinks this conversation falls under the category
of "Reasons Parents Keep Kids Off the Internet"
<CrackPr0n-E> Kuroko:that's what locks are for
<Kuroko> trigun i can explain. irc i can explain.
but...yeah...
<Kuroko> Crack: she has the keys.
<CrackPr0n-E> or "I had an itch... that's all"
<Yukanojo> hahahaha
<CrackPr0n-E> psssh, while she's unlocking the door, pull your
panties up
* Smugami wonders what he's stumbled into ... o.O
<CrackPr0n-E> and just sit in a blanket
<Kuroko> ...
* Kuroko will spend the entire night trying to erase this
conversation from her memory
<Kuroko> Thanks for helping me decide.
#56879 [ + | - ] 1513
<CuZZa> i lived there for a month
<CuZZa> japan is great
<CuZZa> really fucked up, but great
<CuZZa> its weird. me being a 6'4 white guy standing on a
train with a bunch of japanese people who are around 5'
<CuZZa> i had a fucking guy dressed as sailor moon looking at
me as if I was the weirdo
#56876 [ + | - ] 252
<TittySmasher> Do you think if you were having sex with a
chick, and had a condom on and lightning struck you, the
condom would melt and the chick would shit/piss melted
plastic?
<rTenshi> uhh, you'd die man.
<TittySmasher> ... oh
#56865 [ + | - ] 95
<SlimSurdy> remind me never to cyber a 16yr old using bitchx
under
linux with no pvt msg windows
<SlimSurdy> at least not with you fuckers in the #
<Fanboy> hahaha
#56864 [ + | - ] 106
<@WrmSlayer> i just peeled off my keyboard glove thingy
<Ironmax^> keyboard glove?
<@WrmSlayer> yeah
<@spidey> you got a conny on your keyboard?
<@WrmSlayer> yeah its like a condom
<@WrmSlayer> stops spooge from leaking down between the keys
<@spidey> it must take away all feel :)
#56856 [ + | - ] 193
<pann> my brother was working on site and they were waiting
for a jap cable delivery dude to drop off some cable, anyways
he was 20 minutes late and my brothers boss goes to
him 'its about time you rice eating mother fucker' and the
jap guy comes running past 'hey fuck you round eye!'
#56849 [ + | - ] 382
<clompers> if i could, I'd paint my room a dark gray
<clompers> maybe a #666666
<Azi> you can tell you're a web geek when...
<Azi> you walk into the home improvement store asking for
paint in a shade of #3264AA
#56840 [ + | - ] 254
( dvast8 ) so if a tattoo gets you friends, what gets you
laid?
( jesusprime ) military outfits
( jesusprime ) or a loud car
( dvast8 ) i think your getting laid by the wrong sex
#56836 [ + | - ] 644
<Wohali> girls kissing on cbc
<math> WOOHOO!!!
<math> YAY CANADA!
<Wohali> now there's two boys getting ready to kiss.
<math> oh thats just gay
#56831 [ + | - ] 386
<mikes_> what does this mean? eth0: Promiscuous mode enabled.
<`> it means your ethernet card wants to party
#56829 [ + | - ] 752
<Moebius> remember when neptune was the farthest planet?
<Moebius> good times
#56828 [ + | - ] 233
<Jarp> No porn break. i actually have no more porn on this
computer
<Jarp> just the other day, i moved all 8,000ish pictures to
the other computer and organized 'em
<Sisgmund> lordy!
<Sisgmund> how much space does that take up?
<Jarp> about 600mb
<Sisgmund> crimminy
<Jarp> i forget exactly how many
<shavenwookiee> wow
<Jarp> Hrm. I don't have a very broad colllection. that 8,000
is of maybe 20 girls.
<Jarp> don't have any particular favorite.
<shavenwookiee> 20 girls.. 400 poses each??
<Jarp> hrm
<Jarp> more of some
<Jarp> less of others
<shavenwookiee> so THAT's how you get your porn movies on
dialup.
<screevo> ???
<shavenwookiee> you print up a set of one girl, staple them
together, and flip the pages :D
<Jarp> it's like a movie, one frame at a time!
#56826 [ + | - ] 139
<Polaris> is my phone number on whois?
<Fina> Yes
<Fina> *picks up phone*
<Fina> *dials slowly*
<Polaris> I would know it was you.
<Polaris> Unfrotunently my caller ID is broken.
<Fina> ...my elves did their job well...
#56813 [ + | - ] 177
<ame> get on it
<ame> jungle bugie
<ame> dielsuo dielsuo
<ame> jungle boogie huhuhah wha hwo
<ame> (i used to be the lead singer for the local super market
PA system)
#56809 [ + | - ] 218
<Steempy> Merc: Got any amusing tales of retail stupidity?
<Mercster> hmmm.......this isn't a good email address:
<Mercster> "Lubeking@aol.com"
<Steempy> Could be a Korean guy called Lu Bek Ing
#56808 [ + | - ] 145
<SJr|Tecra> Someone say something to take my mind off the
pain.
<wizer> just pleasure your self you will feel better
* wizer brb
<arrow|> probably going to take his own advice
#56800 [ + | - ] 14
* THEJRC checks out the softer side of sears.....
<Christina> lol you fag
#56798 [ + | - ] 925
(Anon) I want to be a concert promoter...
(Anon) and sign Dave Matthews Band, The Strokes, and Tool for
the same show...
(Anon) and bill them in that order
(GiantRobot) yeah, because those three obviously have such
similar fans...
(Anon) No no
(Anon) I just want the ticket stub
(Anon) Dave Matthews Band Strokes Tool
#56790 [ + | - ] 138
<St_Zartan> all my scenes were deleted from "8 mile"
<St_Zartan> apparently training for the paralympics isn't
"street" enough for them, the bastards
#56785 [ + | - ] 569
<Jeff> :-(
<Jeff> :-(
<Jeff> : (
<cabbage> your nose fell off
#56784 [ + | - ] 1542
<Rigel> KingKashue ur pc is not as 1337 as my i have a 122
gighz pinteum 4 pc w/ 5 617 gigbyte hds and a
cd-wr-rwr-drwxr-xr-x 3-way burning/dvd/vcd/mp3 playing drive
and a 37 gigehurz L7 cacheeeee a 58 inch flat moniter w/
2134x5654 resolushun and teh best part is my 400 gbps cabul
capped to 1 kbps connecsion wich routes thru severel dedicatud
OC-255 powered masheens wich are on T460 redirectors
<KingKashue> riiiiight...But can your's do this?
*** Rigel was kicked by KingKashue (to prove I can)
*** Joins: Rigel
<Rigel> Nope.
#56782 [ + | - ] 485
<Hat> I'm the king of giving girls oral sex.  Ask my
girlfriends.
<Jeokitty> You're so good at all that, Mark, how good is she?
<Hat> She fucking sucks dick.
<Hat> Err
<Hat> I meant that in a bad way.  Like, she sucks dick...
poorly.
#56778 [ + | - ] 492
<CrackyMcZap> I'm pathetic.
<Chriso> Cracky: I'm a 17 year old pimply FAT bastard living
with his parents while in college who has no money, a 3.0 gpa
which means it goes up .5 next semester or ELSE i lose my
scholarships, i cant buy my own smokes, i cant legally look at
porn, I cant drink cuz of my medicine, i have a
university-issued restraining order preventing me from
entering the dorms at school, and to top it off, I'm bi but i
dont like it up the ass. So yeah. Who's pathetic?
#56776 [ + | - ] 166
<pneumatic> i look out one window and it's sunny and nice..
the other windows.. grey, gloomy.
<autistk> other windows = windows 2000?
#56775 [ + | - ] 234
<GladX> do people still wear the farmer johns type ski pants?
<kickingdog> yeah...they sell those.  north face has gore tex
ones
* GladX hates those
<GladX> gotta fidget for 15 minutes just to take a piss
<kickingdog> north face ones are the shizzle fo sheezy
<GladX> babelfish is having troubles translating what you just
said to english
#56773 [ + | - ] 263
<Kamz-History-X> where do bad folks go when they die?
<Lid> into politics.
#56767 [ + | - ] 156
<bob[notn00bsoft]> i can make better games then you. i just
need help with the engine and graphics and stuff
<Sarthek> So you're better than us at making games...
<Tempyst> So in otherwords you need us to do everything for
you, and then you take credit.
<Tempyst> THAT SOUNDS LIKE A PLAN, MISTAR
#56762 [ + | - ] 315
<CursedBurger> i hate it when i'm watching some good porn and
the entire clip's ruined because one of the guys has a mullet
#56758 [ + | - ] 240
<JMG> I went water skiing
<JMG> and It turns out that I scream the same way that i would
if a great white shark were about to attack me
<JMG> If seaweed touches my foot
<JMG> Theres a moment I want back
#56757 [ + | - ] 242
-!- [lsd] has quit [Remote closed the connection]
-!- [lsd] has joined #lgl
<[lsd]> hehe
<[lsd]> i love it when you change the time on your box
<[lsd]> and xchat thinks "shit, i haven't seen a ping for 20
mins"
#56752 [ + | - ] 271
<DildoDaggins> isn't this a great hobbit porno name?
#56749 [ + | - ] 361
Jersey Seven: 2DAY IS NATIONAL PRESENTS DAY!!~! SEND THIS
MESSAGE TO 30 OTHER PPL AND YOU WILL RECIEVE MANY PRESENTS FOR
XMAS AND UR TRUE LOVE WILL FINALLY START TO LIKE U!!!~
U ONLY HAVE 10 MINUTES SO U BETTER HURY!!!~
Chant320: Hey. Tomorrow is national shut the fuck up with the
stupid chain letters day. It never hurts to get a head start.
#56748 [ + | - ] 175
<TonicBH> [Tonic Hedgehog's mIRC Software] - [Windows XP
Uptime: 2wks 1day 19hrs 43mins 24secs] - [mIRC v6.02 Uptime:
4days 11hrs 31mins 40secs]
<TonicBH> O_O
<TonicBH> 15 days ;/
<TonicBH> ph33r :/
<Sep> wtf
<Sep> turn your damn computer off
#56734 [ + | - ] 222
<Kitsa> I had a frightening moment today
<Kitsa> I looked at a piece of sheet music and realized I
couldn't tell what key it was in
<Kitsa> :/
<Kitsa> "This quality music degree from a prestigious
university can be your child's for the low low price of
$35,000"
#56730 [ + | - ] 92
<VonFluf08> crb - cheap digicam $500
<crb> Yeah, but id' want better
<VonFluf08> average digicam $800
<VonFluf08> good digi cam $2000
<VonFluf08> holiday porn - priceless
#56725 [ + | - ] 362
<Wegs> I can get my 2Kb/sec, so it must be working
<Gothmog> wow 2K a second!!!
<Gothmog> i got better than that on our old 33.6 :/
<Wegs> yeah...
<Wegs> I am connected at 26.4
<Wegs> so blow me
<Gothmog> lol
<Gothmog> at those speeds, i could start blowing you now and
you wont feel it unil saturday :P
#56723 [ + | - ] 213
<_absent> Dilbert: why dont you tell everyone about the time
you overdosed on shrooms, and the cops found you in a field
covered in your own feces shaking a hand in the air and
claiming the federal government was planning to take your life