SKoertig: I am trapped in a Bank of America please send help SKoertig: They do not have a bathroom SKoertig: I may die in this place. Artilicer: odd Artilicer: they let me use their bathroom Artilicer: last time when I was bleeding from the mouth thanks to wisdom teeth removal SKoertig: I think they literally have no toilet. Artilicer: so Artilicer: do they use the mouths of their customers or SKoertig: These are accountants. I am fairly certain they do not poop. SKoertig: Their buttholes are purely recreational in purpose. Artilicer: how convenient SKoertig: Please poop in my buttholehhfuffjrqqow SKoertig: Sorry one of the tellers stole my phone for a second Reuben Sandwich: fyi, the bathroom is not in the safe SKoertig: I escaped. No prison can hold me
<Ilikehorses> dude... how do u play this game? <Xenocideophile> it's a chat room for programmers <Ilikehorses> i know THAT <Xenocideophile> then you're good to go <Ilikehorses> no no no how do I make a game <Xenocideophile> depends <Ilikehorses> ...? <Xenocideophile> Depends what language you want to use to start off with <Ilikehorses> american
<leo60228> vim is even better <leo60228> but i honestly don't know how to open a new tab in it <Pixl> we have reached peak hipster
<drbngrl> hi <LordCow> yo <fppe> hello there girl <fppe> what happened to your vowels <LordCow> cost saving <drbngrl> what vowels <LordCow> exactly <fppe> she had a vowel movement <drbngrl> what are yoll talking about
<fppe> The worst thing about a prostate exam is when he finds out you're not a real doctor.
<empirebuilder1> i got this burn on my middle finger <empirebuilder1> real bad one, like 3rd degree shit <empirebuilder1> and it looks kinda nasty from all the dead skin flaking off <kin101> empirebuilder1: tmi pls <empirebuilder1> but now i can flip someone off <empirebuilder1> and say "sick burn bro" <kin101> why must you do this to me
shadoxx: ...I have 17 terminal windows open right now. bai: r u a h4x0r?? shadoxx: 2_1337_4_school bai: dang just don't hack me ok shadoxx: okay shadoxx: You could be infosec bai. Ur pretty good shadoxx: I was going to hack you, but then you appealed to my humanity. bai: social engineered af
<tttb> Why did the programmer quit his job? <tttb> because he didn't get arrays
<RoadJoe> I put the F in spelling <me-money-mix> i put the cum in company <We_are_Dad> I put the fun in funeral <GNAustin> I put the myself in killing myself
< ntc> is it possible to recover encrypted files from an ecryptfs container? i lost the passphrase < scorbutus> ntc: you could try filing a foia request with dhs
<akrs> You know you have fallen far from the path of light when you have to read the git man pages for push <buffalo> fallen from grace, akrs <akrs> I'm gonna do a git push -f +[sha]:master <buffalo> that's a dark arts spell, that is <buffalo> such commands do not come out of love, compassion, and understanding <buffalo> they come from malice <buffalo> and the will to destroy <buffalo> and chaos
<@apexthief> Okay we have taco tuesday I need other food day of the week ideas <@AltRhombu> taco wednesday <@AltRhombu> taco thursday
<Papa_Wa> Anyone else struggling to login? <Udungoof> i'm struggling most of the time <Udungoof> not necessarily with loginservers though <Udongoof> life mostly
<Mcme> Just got the last skiing of the season done <Microshrimp> I am banned from skiing <fear> Storytime? <Mcme> How does one get banned from skiing? <Microshrimp> after the last time I tried it.... couldn't figure out how to stop and I was headed toward about 10 people who were standing in a circle talking. It was like human bowling.
< EvanStone> Have u guys seen that babe on the special Olympics commercial < EvanStone> Hnnnnng < fred> wtf < fred> EvanStone has a disabled person fetish < vitro> omg < EvanStone> What < vitro> i almost choked to death while reading that < EvanStone> Only her brain is fucked < vitro> EvanStone is fucked < EvanStone> Not her face < EvanStone> Yo vitro is mad judgemental < EvanStone> Like a retard can't be sexy < EvanStone> Plz stop discriminating
<crowell> aa has some shitty seats <crowell> i can't even use laptop <jpaglier> you can get their miles so easy tho <crowell> how am i supposed to play ctf in this seat <kiboneu> crowell: next time offer to speak, you get a table <crowell> kiboneu: on the airplane?
<_ohm> Akahige, obviously you haven't heard of OOP and you need to check your priviledge <Pyrious> Valid c++ if it's following a "//" <Akahige> _ohm: Did you just assume my paradigm!? <mwd> OOM > OOP <_ohm> Akahige, nice
Creamate: if i were black toppington_kek: you could fuck your wife Creamate: i would be a cardiac surgeon already toppington_kek: oh
*** Gad is now known as REGISTER. *** REGISTER is now known as IDENTIFY. *** IDENTIFY is now known as Gad. <petn-randall> Gad: /msg nickserv help <Dark-Jedi> Just wait, his nick will change to "HELP" any moment now. *** Gad is now known as HELP.
<@neonjesus> up your game, chatters. this is professional level chatting. <@atomic> oh yeah <@atomic> professional for sure <@atomic> I'm being paid to chat right now <@atomic> in fact, I probably get paid to chat more than I get paid to work <@neonjesus> its why we all went into IT in the first place <@neonjesus> we got on irc when we were children <@neonjesus> and thought <@neonjesus> hey <@neonjesus> i would like to chat for a living. how do i get to do that? <@atomic> lol <@neonjesus> first, you have to look like you're busy in terminal <@Jugernaut> hah <@neonjesus> second, you have to be the unwatched watcher. <@neonjesus> third, ??? <@neonjesus> profit. <@neonjesus> so here we are. <@neonjesus> a bunch of professional motherfuckin' chatters.
<sophia_> wow look at this new type of cat named a toyger <MaxInux> pretty cat <MaxInux> looks like a bengal sorta <sophia_> its totally different than a bengal apparently <sophia_> custom bred <MaxInux> neat still looks like a bengal :) just slightly more striped <sophia_> ya its pretty <jm> am I the only person who's appalled at humanity's efforts to selectively breed traits they find cute, funny, or otherwise desirable? <blaxthos> jm: do you date ugly girls ? <sophia_> heh
<Mosai> my habit of buying junk food significantly diminished when they took the self checkouts out of the nearby safeway <Mosai> since i now have to look another human being in the face when i purchase stuff now
<omglolbah> our official template database had a digital test logic page called "DIGITEST" (from the times when we used 8.3 filenames) <omglolbah> so my coworker needed to create one for analog test logic <.< <omglolbah> I got to write the docs for "Template: ANALTEST"
< Dustin> I was talking to a French friend earlier. He was annoyed that English didn't have a word for a specific kind of pride like French does. I pointed out that the French having more words for pride is like the Inuits having more words for snow. < Dustin> He didn't laugh. =[
<+Skerper> I remember once in first year CS <+Skerper> this guy asked me to tutor him <+Skerper> was absolutely devastated that he'd gotten a 0 for his programming assignment <+Skerper> so he shows it to me <+Skerper> and he's literally written an essay on how to make the program <nugyflex> what the fuck <+Skerper> complete with stock images and references <BlackMoon> hahah <+Jattenalle> haha, aaw <+Skerper> but no actual program <nugyflex> ahahha <+Jattenalle> poor innocent little child <+Skerper> Never had such an "oh sweety" moment in my life <nugyflex> how does that happen <+Skerper> I have no fucking idea, it was the most awkward thing <nugyflex> how can that possibly happen... <+Skerper> I don't know how he got it into his head that that was the assignment <+Skerper> considering it had to be handed up to an automarker <+Skerper> that compiles it and tests output <nugyflex> Oooo nooo <nugyflex> tries to compile essay <nugyflex> rip
<cpb> wonder if there's a strip club that needs a linux admin... <clockwork> i was about to balk at that but then i thought about it and realized strip clubs don't have windows
<@peted> i get distracted by that a lot <@peted> sometimes, actually, a lot of the time, i just get distracted by my own thoughts < brzt> I think thats call ADHD? <@peted> do they? < brzt> I just said I think they do... <@peted> and i asked do they... <@peted> this instant replay brought to you by pepsi cola < brzt> See above.
<Chaosbreaker> "Hi, I'd like to hear a TCP joke." <Chaosbreaker> "Hello, would you like to hear a TCP joke?" <Chaosbreaker> "Yes, I'd like to hear a TCP joke." <Chaosbreaker> "OK, I will tell you a TCP joke." <Chaosbreaker> "Are you ready to hear a TCP joke?" <Chaosbreaker> "Yes, I am ready to hear a TCP joke." <Chaosbreaker> "OK, I am about to send the TCP joke. It will last 10 seconds, has 2 characters, it does not have a setting, it ends with a punchline." <Chaosbreaker> "OK, I am ready to get the TCP joke that will last 10 seconds, has 2 characters, does not have a setting, and ends with a punchline." <Chaosbreaker> "I'm sorry, your connection has been timed out." <Chaosbreaker> "Hello, would you like to hear a TCP joke?"
<Zygo> if you're not finding errors, you're not looking hard enough <lazy_bum> Is this some kind of woman motto?
<Humbedooh> Roses are red, leaves are green, but only Java has AbstractSingletonProxyFactoryBean
<retry> i miss bathing in hot springs <retry> in japan that's something you can just do whenever you feel like it <fuckyou> except they call it bukkake
<Joe> my friend told me to google kurea hasumi <Joe> and I did <Joe> that was a mistake <Denwa> Don't like jav's, Joe? <Joe> no, by mistake I mean I have 27 active torrents running now
<Haz> started my internship today <Haz> they banged a gong no less than six times first thing in the morning after a meeting <fwilson> yeah, that's part of agile
<AAA> Singapore is believed to have the highest prevalence of myopia in the world; up to 80% of people there have myopia <AAA> yikes <BBB> i bet they never seen it coming
* cachinnate throws up hands <cachinnate> wait i meant i was throwing my hands into the air, not barfing hands that i ate
<jryan> Why is TheJazBand in the topic. <TheJazBand> jryan: i had a seizure yesterday. <jryan> Ohhh. <jryan> How'd that go
<t12> my dad wins at potrero hill community meeting aggroness <t12> he went to one and stood up, interrupted <t12> said heres the address of a crackhouse <t12> if you guys dont raid it and shut it down <t12> i'll go to it myself <t12> they're like "those are armed dangerous people!" <t12> he's like "i'm a combat vereran! I've killed thousands of people already" <t12> "if you dont go clean it up you'll find youself in the weird position of protecting crackheads from me" <t12> they did in fact shut the house down
ivy: A man named William Reed's last living testament says that he is going to read his own will ivy: Will Reed's will will read: "Will Reed will read Will Reed's will". Elyse: no Elyse: it's his son will reed junior Elyse: except will reed senior was so far gone with alzheimers that usually when someone's talking about will reed they're talking about his son, junior Elyse: he isn't completely running the family business into the ground but he still longs for the times his father, the true biz-wiz, was running things better than ever Elyse: but now those times are in the ground with his dad Elyse: still can't believe he's gone ivy: what the fuck elyse
<mceel>What is the difference between a jew and a boyscout? <Big G>Idk what? <mceel>Boyscouts come back from camp. <Big G>Thats a very touchy subject. My great grandpa died in a concentration camp. <mceel>Oh I'm sorry <Big G>He was shooting jews and fell of the guard tower. <mceel>.-.
<+se5a> I know a pacifist who joined the army <+se5a> so that he had a balanced world view <+ekolis> True Neutral alignment FTW
<W> Tatjun needs a date <L> The dude couldn't get a date if he polled a time server.
<matthiaskrgr> had to have my arm amputated <matthiaskrgr> on the other hand, I am completely fine
<DrSeuss> I am thinking about the sequel to the vat in the hat <DrSeuss> It will have theoretical chemistry <fourbitfox> Oh the Crystals You'll Grow? <DrSeuss> YES <fourbitfox> Sounds more like the G rated version of Breaking Bad.
<Shoe> Saw the back of a semi-cab today. <Shoe> It had the text: Jesus Never Tapped Out <The_Purple_Bunny> No but he did get pinned.
<Lauren> I have this recurring javascript error <Lauren> Uncaught TypeError: Illegal invocation <gasp> did you try running it during full moon ?