hQDB :: hacker Quote Database

Network Stats: 21117 Approved Quotes | 3 in Moderation Queue
#58450 [ + | - ] 258
<+ [Frost2] > fuck theres something in my eye
<psychicbug> frost got a cumshot in the eye
<psychicbug> ...again
<@ [ArtForz]> he prolly saw it cumming
<psychicbug> hahaha
<+ [Frost2] > you guys are sick k thx
#58449 [ + | - ] 81
* DrZaius sets mode: +b *.*!*@*
<DrZaius> lmao
<sneve> haha
<Air|THPS2> doc
<Air|THPS2> why *.*!?
<DrZaius> i've been using dos a lot lately
<DrZaius> and wasn't thinking
* DrZaius sets mode: -b *.*!*@*
#58447 [ + | - ] 75
<threeve> woohoo moms password is still same as last month
#58443 [ + | - ] 400
* SilverH|Work is now known as SilverHorse
<SilverHorse> OMFG
<SilverHorse> I HELD MY DAMN DIAHREA ALL DAMN DAY
<SilverHorse> THEN I JUST GOT HOME
<SilverHorse> IT WAS LIKE FUCKING HIROSHIMA
<SilverHorse> I mean jesus
<SilverHorse> you could hear the splash across the house
<SilverHorse> it literally covered the entire surface area of
my ass
<SilverHorse> japanese people died when I let it go
#58441 [ + | - ] 172
<Jeph> Anyone have a dedicated server, my host is going out of
business, and we were buds so I wasn't paying anything, and
can't right now... heh?
<sbrain> maybe thats why they were going out of business
#58428 [ + | - ] -9
<HitlerYouth88> all i want is a white girl for xmas :(
#58422 [ + | - ] 386
<Spammy> shit. i just ate my brothers christmas present
#58421 [ + | - ] 187
<cornbread> The last time I got an SMS from a chick, it said
'i h8 u fgt.'
<cornbread> I shit you not.
#58417 [ + | - ] 253
Ryan : political correctness has gone too far! in the card
store i went to, the category for christmas  was labelled
"Wednesday, December 25"
#58392 [ + | - ] -44
<{fedom}> Dude, I am MCSE and A+, but I dont act lame like
you!
<{fedom}> I am MCSE, A+, CIW, Oracle DBA......I am sitting
here
on a dual p-Xeon 2.8Ghz, 10GB RAM, 1TB 15,000RPM ultra160 SCSI
RAID HD;
give a fucking break kid, I make more money than you ever
will.
#58319 [ + | - ] 1307
<patti11_> anyone wanna talk to a f/10???
<Desantnik> patti11_: Of course you're one of those 10 year
olds that goes to Columbia university
*** patti11_ (Ender_@sidious.cs.columbia.edu) has left #Kids
#58316 [ + | - ] 384
<Wilykat> I'm so goth, I pee black stuff.
<Wilykat> My goth friends say I should go see a doctor.
<Wilykat> But they are just not goth enough to understand!
#58301 [ + | - ] 142
<Oreo_Boy> Wal-Mart = microsoft with groceries
#58297 [ + | - ] 200
<Sock_Monkee> yeah, i came out of the closet today....i went
in looking for my jacket but all that was there was a  bunch
of queers
#58247 [ + | - ] 413
<MickJ> FACT: FAKE TITS ARE A SIGN OF HORRIBLE SELF ESTEEM
<Turnspike> Wouldn't it be cool if they had implants with
goldfish in them
#58239 [ + | - ] 586
<fluffy> note to self. when scanning a portion of your
anatomy. remember the scanning software keeps that preivew
image. untill your parents go to use it.
#58222 [ + | - ] 462
<brainbox> Xuberant, please, check your keyboard for stuck
keys
<brainbox> you've clipped Retard-Lock or something
#58214 [ + | - ] -17
<ian_> kierabee, do you like when a guy puts his hand on the
back of your head and forces you down on his penis?
<hardlined> haha
<ian_> Or do you like to be more self-directed
<kierabee> have you forgotten that i'm a lesbian?
<hardlined> too much fun for a monday night.
<ian_> Cuz I've seen it both ways in the pornography movies,
<ian_> kierabee, lesbos still enjoy the dick.
<ian_> The Dick.
<hardlined> if she is a lesbian your gonna have to go the
forceful way.
<kierabee> well, that's clearly all the education that you've
had
<ian_> kierabee, the pepper spray only stung for a couple days
after I last had sex
#58213 [ + | - ] 148
<ian_> Speaking of shaving, I was experementing with my beard
trimmer's hair length settings so I decided to test it on my
chest hair.  Now I have a trail of missing hair going from my
crotch to my neck.  It's like you're looking from overhead at
a foreset with a trail of trees cut down.
<kierabee> your chest hair is on your crotch?
<ian_> There's no clear line of where one stops and one
begins.
<kierabee> that's a savory image
<ian_> kierabee, I can shave my ass hair and make a toupe.
<kierabee> why don't you just braid it and leave it in place?
<ian_> Can you  braid it for me?
#58205 [ + | - ] -82
<Kaos> Old school bling
<Kaos> If I could find one of those clock necklaces
<Kaos> I'd wear it
<Agnarth> flava flav
<steve> bling?
<steve> I'm sorry, I don't speak nigger.
#58191 [ + | - ] 13
*** AnimeHost used to use a script... back in the age of AOL
<@AnimeHost> a script was a mans sword back then.
<@AnimeHost> now... its a way to combat ignorant malays
#58188 [ + | - ] 494
<chem> IM my friend gray then
<chem> Hes got so much porn he gets popups when hes browsing
his own pc
#58187 [ + | - ] 334
<avat> damn, I've been playing ut too much
<avat> my cursor moved & I was gonna shoot it
#58178 [ + | - ] 359
*** Joins: Amnesia (ggdf@hide-49208.wc.saix.net)
<Amnesia> yo
<rawhed> yo amnesia
<rawhed> remember me? ;)
#58173 [ + | - ] 325
<Vuriand> Curz: Does OFP have good music?
<Curz> No. It sucks
<Curz> And it sucks very hard
<Curz> Now I'm off to suck
<Curz> Argh
<Curz> *sleep
#58172 [ + | - ] 89
--> nwa (~mc_ren@dsl05673a42.mich.athenet.net) has joined #
perl-fu
<nwa> OMG I just had the best shower
<nwa> I bought one of those girly gay shower sponges
<nwa> man, I'm like fuckin lickable clean
<you_suck> ...
<nwa> anyone want to prove me wrong?
<nekroplasm> wtf
--- hardlined sets ban on *!*@*.athenet.net
<-- hardlined has kicked nwa from #perl-fu (uhh.. your outta
here like a boner in sweatpants..)
#58170 [ + | - ] 108
<Presto> why do they even do that on websites.
<Presto> If the link above is flashing you win!
<Presto> but it seems that the link is always flashing...
<Presto> infact, I have never seen it not flash.
<Moeser> its more like "if you are a gullible user, YOURE A
WINNER!"
<Presto> pisses me off
<jenara> ive clicked it before
<jenara> turns out, you don't win
<jenara> you sell your soul
<jenara> TO THE DEVIL
<Moeser> NOOO NOT THE DEVIL!
* Moeser rips off his mouse button
<Moeser> must.... not... click...
#58162 [ + | - ] 247
<WoWMaN\>ah well, i'm off now
<Bart\> where to?
<WoWMaN\>some people like to call it masturbation, or jerking
off. I myself prefer: "letting the dog out"
<WoWMaN\>that way it doesn't sound all that suspicious when I
tell my mum what I'm off to do
<Bart\>sure... "Mum, I'm going to let the dogs out" and then
you go to the bathroom...
<Bart\>would seem pretty suspicious to me
<WoWMaN\>well, not to my mum
<WoWMaN\>in fact... we don't even have a dog :)
#58158 [ + | - ] 695
* Locke is listening to Nsync - Tearin' Up My Heart
<Locke> ...
<Locke> time to turn the plug-in off
#58154 [ + | - ] 252
<asdasd> spellig? excuse me asshole...I got a+ in englsih
#58153 [ + | - ] 20
<Svartfot> try putting some flavored tea up you mouth..same
shit different name if  you ask me
* Svartfot was kicked by Dekkon (Thank you for not discussing
the outside world, goodbye.)
<^flash> you guys kick and ban people for the most fucked up
reasons...
<hardlined> stfukthx
* McMoo sets mode: +b *!*_flash@*.bix.bellsouth.net
* ^flash was kicked by McMoo (no we don't.)
<JafoMatic> laugh
#58148 [ + | - ] 1645
<Lakitu7> "This pokemon wears the skull of its dead mother"
<Lakitu7> Cubone is really screwed up
<Lakitu7> Why the hell would they write that into the
poke-universe? That's going to screw up some little kid
<Lakitu7> "We're sorry Johnny. Your mother didn't make it"
"Can i have her skull for a helmet?" "what?"
#58147 [ + | - ] 457
<Keiichi> i love having a 5-CD changer and a shitty memory
<Keiichi> it's like an endless supply of new music
#58146 [ + | - ] 327
<[0megaX]> oh what the hell, her computer is doing the exact
same damn thing
<[0megaX]> it's like there's a time bomb in os x..everything
works perfectly until this exact moment when it stops for both
of us..that's fooken strange
<AeroBob> It's a sign from God.
<AeroBob> Mac users edited it out of the Bible, but the
eleventh commandment was "Thou shalt get a proper computer,
for fuck's sake."
#58132 [ + | - ] 771
<Valas> i think my family left me and went on vaction
<Valas> nobody has answered the phone for 3 days
<Fulmanar> lol
<Valas> and my bro hasnt been home either
<Valas> this is what they did on thanksgiving
<Valas> they all went to toronto and didnt tell me
<Valas> and came back 2 days later
<Valas> i should leave a suicide note and run away for like a
month, and come back and tell them "See how it feels you
stupid fucks"
<Fulmanar> lmao
#58131 [ + | - ] 317
<Nematocyst> Christ
<Nematocyst> I have you urinate
<Nematocyst> I hate to urinate
<Nematocyst> I have to urinate
<Nematocyst> fuck
<Nematocyst> the time it took me to write that I could have
peed like four times over
#58129 [ + | - ] 238
* Schroe enjoys the benifits of dial-up
<ZRaven> benifits?
<Schroe> In between page loads, I have time to clean various
parts of this eternally dirty house.
#58127 [ + | - ] 100
<Cecil> I keep on getting this error, it tells me to press
"any" key, where the fuck is the any key?
<A|LOCO> Right between the "jack" and "ass" key
#58126 [ + | - ] 148
<intra> I get to drop off kristin's bag... that reminds me, i
get to smell her clothes tonight before I go to bed.
#58123 [ + | - ] 213
<intra> I have to go to Walmart to get some deoderant. But I
thought it would be weird to buy just deoderant, so I thought
about getting some DING-DONGs or something, but then I'd be
buying DING-DONGS and DEODERANT. So I figure I might buy a
shirt, but then I'd be buying DING DONGS, DEODERANT and a
SHIRT. So I'm screwed no matter what I buy.
#58121 [ + | - ] 307
* LordLinus has returned.. back again ..[gone/46d 16h 43m 32s]
* LordLinus is gone.. autoaway after 15 min [cyp/lp]..
<nester> and so it begins again...
#58119 [ + | - ] 136
<Marlean> At a concert for the homeless they gave the homeless
CD`s instead of food. Like they could ever listen to it...
* Marlean sighs
#58115 [ + | - ] 130
<KungFuGrp> CABLE
<KungFuGrp> It's ALIVE!!!!!!
<KungFuGrp> the cable man didn't say anything about the warez
cds, but he kind of got mad cause of the black box plugged
into the tv
<Wilamena> haha
#58112 [ + | - ] 215
<falc> i now declare 'oat' to mean 'on another topic', please
update your geeky brains immediately
#58108 [ + | - ] 1903
*** IRC -- Based on the original code written by Jarkko
Oikarinen
*** Copyright 1988, 1989, 1990, 1991 University of Oulu,
Computing Center
<Jarkko> You people have turned a cute little project I did 5
years ago INTO A TREMENDOUS WASTE OF TIME!!!  GET A LIFE!!!
MOVE OUT OF YOUR MOTHER'S BASEMENT!!!  You, with the bot...
have you ever kissed a woman?
#58103 [ + | - ] 97
<crunchyfish> Yeah, poor ZS. Shoplifting, and then getting in
trouble for shoplifting. Things are so fucking unfair
sometimes.
<Chris_A> Hey, Winona Ryder didn't lose her IRC priviledges.
<crunchyfish> Yeah, and she's not half as hot as ZS.
#58102 [ + | - ] 209
<Davis[half-here> http://www.tubgirl.com
<---is that a rom site?
<@Mintzs> yes
#58098 [ + | - ] 373
<Kersus> we have to exchange presents at work. we had a $20
limit. So naturally
I bought 20 dollars worth of kool-aid
#58097 [ + | - ] 209
<mootlife> wtf
* mootlife prayers have been answered
<mootlife> bus full of hot chicks just came here
* mootlife goes outside
#58093 [ + | - ] 150
<Kerrick> Thank you for installing the newest in microsoft
products: Microsoft Church
<Kerrick> Error! file: pope.bmp contains corrupt data, and
cannot load
<Kerrick> Please follow these simple steps so we can customize
Microsoft Church to your liking
<Kerrick> Step 1: Which of your children would you like to be
molested? []Billy  []Michael  []Timmy
<Kerrick> Step 2: with the addition of papyal tithing is even
easier! (to continue donate 1/10 of your salary via the paypal
button)
<Kerrick> Step 3: Microsoft church will go inot full screen
mode and cannot be closed for 2 hours every Sunday []morning
[]afternoon []night
<Kerrick> Thank you for setting up microsoft church!